Dear...Father ! ,
The Second Chapter: The Lamb Passed Away
Forgiveth thee father for thou hath sinneth against your atmost legacy , thou hath treked alone for quite some time that thee slipped off thy path but please could you with all due respect answer the one question that haunts thy very mind ...
For what cause hath the lamb , fruit of your womb , fallen , passed away , for what expense was thy life put on the table ; in the hands of the lions , the wolves , gods , demons , angels and even the palms of the plague called man when the sheep were less sheep than they pretended , when the wolves at that point seemed less wolf than the sheep from which sprouted the lamb , sincerely , for what cause art it necessary to demonize all creatures so that the sheep don't look as bad , oh dear father ?
" The lamb passed away ; no sheep came to its grave though the goats were there when she was placed to rest , throughout its death , its head lost breadth , the forest winds hushed and in the quiet the birds sang no more , in the tide was the call of justice in the siren's voice ~ Marq 3:21 ... didn't I teach thee any better than that : get up before thou actually dies , thee still hast a mission to accomplish and in thou i see a spark , so goest and talketh to her about what you really have at heart , that's an order " responded a voice similar to yours
It was quite shocking how even in death , you find a way to forgive thee and grant thee once again the honour of formal address , instead of pulling thee - i meant "you" down to my level , you've chosen to lift me up and address me with the same pronoun . I promise that i shall not let your will fall on barren ground .
3 HOURS LATER
To my dearest father ,
Just after your visit , i regained control of my upper body and so being i managed to prepare myself just before time to set off ; i guess all that i was lacking was a bit of motivation fom somebody that i look up to .
Outside my logement were Valentino , and Adhiti , she gracefully looked away , even in rage she still looks like an angel : i approached them and said " Adhiti dear , I know i can't take back what i've said even with these immense powers that have been granted to me , nor can i change the way i think out of thin air , no matter how many bodies i pile as condolence , no matter the count of times my people apologize or repent , it shall never change the number of each drop that got spilled in the name of Adehad , it can never change the course of history and even though it could , it would still leave a scar on every heart born to your people and i acknowledge the weight of the actions of my forefathers and i still can't believe that you found a place in your heart for me , i still can't believe that you still gave me a chance and refused to shatter my mind , you have proved to me that people can change , that even monsters have names , that perspective matters and yes , i understand , something that requires a ton of maturity ... You know , that day i saw you , i thought the lamb had been reborn the wolf but i realized that the story was being read upside down , the wolf in me was born anew a lamb , you brought out the best in me and i would like to share it with you "
Adhiti , cheeks red and swore from anger slowly turned towards me , but rather she refused to respond to me , i could have chased after her but if there's one thing i know , that would be the image of me inciting and forcefully persuading her to consent to forgiving me , another kind of mental rape , something i was fade of doing .
We walked silently in the bushy forests until we came up to a tree surounded by a biodiversity so diverse , it became deadly towards , i was overwhelmed to finally meet this healer , this legendary practitioner that Valien was all about , all these journey that i've trekked would then not have been for nothing .
"Why is this Yanx you speak off " i asked and Valien pointed to the ground , from it then rose a hand and from slight earthquake , it broke open like an eruption of thousands of volcanos and in the now brown sky was an angel that looked soo young with a complexion similar to that i associate with Adhiti
" Oh great Yanx , i , Geonas Stanlin , seek aid with a quest that was handled to me by my very father right before he was slaughtered and eaten by the men with whom he shared a boat " i said
Yanx descended then obsereved the environment for a while , " Hey Yanxione , why did you bury yourself alive ? " asked Valentino "
" The love of my life , the queen of my being died and now i feel no more but a ghost shell of the being i was before , a hundred years now and i await each day and night the end of my days but it never comes , a century of heartbreak trapped underground and yet still no sign of change : but when i saw this so called Geonas , i recognized the aura of Grootslang and here i am awaiting moral guidance " he said
" I don't believe that he is going to be capable of anything much for your case " replied Valentino
" I came seeking your divine intervention to help save my mother from a deadly disease that might take her any day now , i have spent days in search of a solution , please help me out " i replied as i begged , knees to the ground with tears running down my eyes
" I can help , but i don't see the need to . These bodies are our prisons and i think that the sons of man among others are lucky to be able to get bail out of them , your body is strong to the point that it holds you and grootslang's essence too , why would you want your mother to stay here on this wrotten earth when she could cross over and start again , don't you think it is time to let her go just like you did with your father " she said
I begun to cry , i threw my head on the ground , lightning begun to form around the soil on which my knees touched and a huge explosion took place where everyone was trapped in a glacial cage ,on my back i felt a hand and behid it was Grotslang but she looked way older and bonier than the last time , " Are you still willing to live for them ? " she asked and she narrated o me the feeling she had of her potential death so we all decided to set sail for the lands of the sons .
I hope this is what you wanted dear father , may you rest in peace .
SECOND CHAPTER : The sky ... The trees ...
Dear Diary ,
I looked at the trees as the sky imposed its ways unto them, their leaves fell just as they do today , like earring at the lobes of a self made queen,the rain stopped stealthily on their branches under the scorching sun on the 27th of March the year 200 After our queen Smit , may her soul finally find peace.
On that day , my team and I , Geonas Stanlin had already landed on a strange island unknown to any of my kind in the middle of a vast nowhere after having spent ages navigating the darkest parts of the clear ocean ; we mistook ourselves for lightbringers but all we were , was a false morningstar bound to rust like a sickle forgotten under the rain , in the field , amongst the olden hay .
Five days on water without drink or bread had cost us our crew - most to famine and the minority to the scrumptious most disgusting habits ever known to our pretensively supreme but weak kind .
A crew destined to conquer the world and destroy the enemy , those that we were taught pretended to be the other human beings when in reality they were a bunch of winged and horned "beasts" filled with the devotion to witchcraft and demonism , was now forced to indulge or as they say endulge in cannibalistic behavior so as to avoid the cruel end that comes once one has run their miles to the very end - death ,a sound so sweet and grey , a taste so bitter but saint , an image of branches falling whilst rain is pouring and leaves floating , death ; a state at it's peak every now and then !.
But it is not horns nor wings that make up a monster , no , it isn't the lack of a voice to sing nor the warts on a face and a welly rounded body , it is ok to have wings based on my experience , it is farely well to be able to access witchcraft and dialogue with demons too , it is also as ok to have horns and defaults natural to our cause and i say this from experience , once you let stereotypes get to your head , you risk never getting well ever again , you put at stake every part of life you never had imagined you loved , that is to say ,if you demonize a whole people because they have different tastes , you wind up on a pedestal made of shallow pillars of sand and salt , and every now and then , you risk saying something wrong or watching the pedestal wash away and then your whole humanity being put to taste ; because if your semblable is a monster , how sure are you then that you aren't one of them or worse - a monster as bad as them.
One of the first known victims to this monstrous theology was Professor Jean Wagons , my father himself . His very men made to believe every word he said , at their worst questioned their leadership , their humanity and in the process made a very alarming choice that states that proving that their humanity is saint means that they must put it to test , i ignore why and how they made it that far beyond reasoning ... , but his torture barely self inflicted begun with only a toe and ended in a banquet worthy human-feast , such that they could be free from their annoying humanity .
Humanity ! : They chose to curse its sky and forbid the heavens from helping defend the moral example given to them and then, they chose to plot against the sky saying '' We shall eat the monarchy they have made to rule over us , and every humane example shall have to see to us or fall to our guillotine " ; they put our lives to the taste only to realize that in our flesh was only blood just as red as theirs and in our hearts was pity and feelings as similar as theirs , but they did it in the name of recovering the truth though it was but at the cost of our lives .
As i was writing ; tears rolling down my face , heat at the back of my neck from the hurt i felt after having come all this way , losing my father and all my friends - people i thought were meant to be by my side , i never ever thought of even imagining their deaths and sadly , here i was . I was going to let my very own mother die , i was going to watch them burn her corpse once again without being capable of doing anything once again just like those days father used to batter her as though she was one of us his son ; in came Grootslang , "It is time " she said
I rose up , i piled my stone-thatched diary and held her shoulder hump and then Adhiti who had been watching me stare on at the hole in the ground made by Yanx as he arose , came and held Grootslang's other shoulder hump. Grootslang then immersed her energy through us and the wings of Adhiti grew extensions made of light as white as white itself ; we then shot in the sky , the trinity of righteousness with Yanx at our right and Valien at our left .
In a few minutes , we had landed in the olden lands , the lands of the sons of man and a few miles ahead i could see my house ; their was a crowd of faces familiar , some as old as mine that stared on at us as we led our path ; they musthave been afraid of Grootslang because it was prophecised that under her rule , the world will face years of war and death and by her divine judgement as goddess of righteousness that she would lead the army of the other humans and take down the population of the sons of man .
Memories flooded my mind , it is funny how the memories advantage nostalgia and sorrow rather than joy , all these people could someday become carnivals , like sharks that welcome the night with a grin , they accommodate their inner darkness and let it build - they make of it a prison for all their moral lessons as they nitpick the ones they prefer such that they don'tstay awke at night .
Right ahead , i could see my beloved brother and to think that he is one of these peoples ; i ran over to him but his wheelchair stood in one place , he did not bother approaching me for i could tell by the look on his face that i nor my accompanions , neither of us was welcome here .
My brother advanced in his wheelchair , he then placed down a bloody red letter and asked me aloud ,
Kafisa I : Do you like the scorching sun - the life that the sky imposes on the trees ; punishment for an unknown sin , in which the : dogs bask under a glory they assume to be the sun's ; hens shelter themselves in feathery coats - spreading their wings to cool their bodies - refusing to be prisoners of this hell ?
Me, Geonas : Am i the foolish one then sends down tiny angels that cover everything up , shielding from the scorching sunshine the dogs and sheep ?
Kafisa I : Thee killeth our father so as to complete our mother's dream , thee runneth away then sends cards to comfort me and dying mom ; i can barely take care of myself how dost thee asume that i can take care of mom , i have done my best , it has been three weeks and i have been a better family member than though and i have a spino-muscular disorder , i shouldn't be more present than thee ; dost thou even have an idea how father got eaten to begin with !
Me : In the wind i still hear their voices , I hear the trees whisper our father's screams as they tore him apart : they cursed the sky and forbid the heavens from reasoning them out of their murderous choices ; they plotted against the captain , our father saying '' We shall eat the monarchy ? " what monarchy if not a humble captain fighting for his wife's life ?
Kafisa : ( throws the bloody letter at Geonas ) Animals go to sleep for ages whereas trees feed on the little that's left - some trees don't make it but others do just to go through it all again ; those men were starving and we can't judge them , everybody gives but at the price of never receiving , father gave everything , what did thou ever givest ?
Me : But ... but ! ... i saw my whole world burn down ... i nearly died not once but multiple times ( tears rolling down my face ) , i gave it my all and even father among all other knows that that is the truth , if it hadn't been for Grootslang's mercy and divine judgement , i could have died for you and this is what you have to say to me ... i am not guilty till proven and being that i was not the reason father got killed , i shall never be proven guilty
Kafisa : Read the letter , stop buying a love thou never hast , they paid tribute to the angelic civlisation so as to get to the forbidden waters and it was thee , but father refused and so the waterhumans attacked the boat in fleets and so as to keep thee alive , father chose to die for an error that would have been avoided if only you played little Isaac as planned .
Me : And how is that my fault , i never agreed to come here or to any of this ... believe this one time , I am innocent
Kafisa : No , thou art not , thou art guilty till proven innocent and that shall never happen being that father is in another realm , forever dead . As for mother , i see that thee finally paid off and brought the angel of death and infestation and as bonus , the angel of birth and fertility , there's no other way but to say that mother is surely going to survive .
Me : No , she won't . there's nothing the angels can do for her .
Kafisa : Leave ... ( Geonas looks up taking his eyes from the ground , " But i'm home " ) Leave ! ( Geonas crying " but i jost got here , at least let me say hello to my mother , you can't do this to me " ) LEAVE!!!
I was crying , i was sad , i had just gotten home and i was beingt sent off by the only person that i ever looked up to , the only person that actually ever treated me like a human being , the only person in this garden filled with rotting fruit .
Me : ( crying ) But brother , i love you and i love mom too
Kafisa : Then provest it , get mom well .
Me : Yanx please ( kneels down on both feet ) please !!!
Yanx : What makes you special from all the other people in this area , if i sent you around from door to door to ask for a house where nobody has ever died , would you find any ? ; even angels the most perfect of all creatures , die
Me : But i don't ask you to make her immortal , i ask of you to heal her ( crying heavily )
Kafisa : Please leave before mother sees thee , thy plain sight will kill her from dread
Me : Ok , i shall leave
Groostang took me in her hands and i hugger her scally body , " It is time " she said as she put me down , i ran to the house and Kafisa looked on , when i got in , at her sight i yelled " I shall not run away ! " but she took a deep breath , and after a moment of silence my mother said " Forgive my abusive language when i tell you goodbye in the canniest way i can ... for i know underneath that risen tone , my blood runs colder in your bones but my memories stand firm ready to take after i ... You will miss me when i leave , ( sighs) do not blame me then " and she took her last breath , i came out holding her body ready to leave , Kafisa I saw me and saw the lifeless face of our dear mother , he picked up a short spear and shot it at me as he screamed from pain
I looked on shocked looking for a way to dodge it without dropping my mother's body , Grootslang looke me in the eyes before she placed her body in front of me .
I held her finger trying to thank her but she fell flat on her stomach and her tusks begun to wilt , the spear had hit her heart .
I knelt on both knees watching my two mothers both dead and there was nothing i could do .
I ... I... I . . . I . . I. i
SECOND CHAPTER : The sound of the wind
I stood there watching whilst doing absolutely nothing , I could hear the sound of the filthy wind ; the leaves fell to the ground as she blew violently but who would blame , not even I , in her i found my assylum , in her i choose to reside ; everything seems so simple when you lay yourself in the arms of the wind , you depart from the child that always cried out loud for a saving hand , the child that always screamed when dad hit mother " Please , won't you notice me ? !? " , you detach from the world and embrace the broken paradise as a whole and in the wind's embrace , you find home .
How power the wind proves to be , she is powerful and power incarnate , in her i watched the ashes of grootslang wilt and wither carried by her airs that roam from East to West throughout all corners of the rounded earth , leaving behind a body similar to mine of a boy nearly the same age as me , from the clan of the Lilith . My mother on the other hand , accompanied by the powerful wind , i could see in spirit and soul , divided back into the three persons of her making ; her soul departed from her corpse that lay within my hand whereas the other two persons became once again part of the flowing universe .
The pain of losing somebody one holds dear is something i wish not to feel anymore , two mothers gone and a home lost because i really believed in an irrealistic bond shared between my father , brother and i : they never understood me to begin with , my father saw more of my mother in me and he so used it to his benefit whislt my brother feared my growing mental status ...
Well ... i am tired , i can scream all i want but i shall never accept this to go on , I shall scream till the trees bow down to my feet ; till the world pays for what it took from me , my sanity ; my childhood ; my hopes and dreams ; my imperfect family and the perfect filter i placed upon their flaws ; my mothers , the only ones who cared about me sincerely ...
ARRRAGHAAAHHHHGHHHJJHHGGGAGGGGAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
i screamed and the wind became a threat no more , sonic waves made of my voice their wayward road as they shattered all the glass around where i knelt , the sky dimmed and the clouds went nimbus and deadly ; I rose up in the air and from a cloud a lighting bolt struck my third eye , i stood there in the air letting my subconcious take the wheel , from my back then formed two large wings that touched the ground , five meters down , they were made of lightning and on them were chains attached to everybody's neck , the chains were the voice of humanity made tangible , it shone gold as bright as the sun and on my head formed the crown of justice .
"Won't you notice me ! " i said , as i lifted my hand thus pulling the body of my mother and the olden vessel of Grootslang next to where i flew , i was levitating in the air next to them as the new voice of righteousness - a job i have decided to take on .
" Do you , sons of man , do away with your false idols that you worship and accept to be baptized under the church of the righteouss ? " i asked in a thundering voice , the chains burning their bewielders with every word i spoke , thye people screaming patheticaly as i awaited their response
" Never ! " screamed Kafisa I , he held his chain and broke it with his two bare hands , he then held the cornerstones of his wheelchair . From the ground then rose a light , a thick red light that came straight from its core , with it came the essence of the six elements of nature and they climbed over his wheelchair like he was their parasitic host ; his craft felt familiar but i just couldn't tell why , it was probably because he was my brother .
His chair dismantled as a new one the size of the sky formed on which he sat , his fist covered in the hardest stone ever known , he seemed to be some sort of self proclaimed judge , probably he was using an ancient craft known to my family or the least of us ; he said once again aloud and bold " I sit elegantly at my throne , i take sacrifices from the birds and bones , their voices as sweet as my own when mercy and judgement is all that i proclaim , the animals and stars , none wanteth to cross my wrongest side so then it is just you and i , tell me brother , how does it fell to have inherited power similar to my magical craft , afterall we all take it from the same person - the source , so tell me how does it feel to have the upper hand , tell me how does it feel to be outsmarted and outwitted by your upper brother , to be at the same level as i , tell me , how does it - what is this then the grand display : how does it feel ? " he asked as his tears flowed like rivers down his eyes , watering the vegetation all around his earth thatched throne with the heavens bowing at his self-made pedestal
" This is the sound of the wind !!! " i screamed as i charged at him stripping the ozone of half its quantity with the space at my side ; i was aiming for blood and the angels knew what i had to be adone
The angels didn't charge by my side rather under , under Adhiti's command they charged at me trying to get to me before i do to them , they wantred to stop me from seeking vengeance
Oh dear diary if only you knew what this had done to me : whatever happened next - i was barely proud of it a few moments later .