The pen rested between my lips, the notebook on my lap, and my thoughts… ugh…
I really don't know if I should go to that party or not.
Yeah, I've asked myself this question a thousand times since Luca invited me.
I'm …. just… confused…. Hmm.
I wish I could talk to Elizabeth … maybe even ask her to go with me somehow... Because if Luca's throwing a party, half the class will be there. For sure…
And of course… Bella too, and I just do not wanna face that glitter rainbow…
Maybe I'm overthinking it….
I set the pen down on the side table and sigh.
She's closer to Bella than she is to me anyway…
Clink!
The sound near the window pulled my attention instantly.
Like a pebble hits glass or maybe a rock.
I took a deep breath…. I was probably hallucinating again. It happens when I think too much the noises, the whispers, the random sounds that crawl under my skin…. Everytime reminds me the psycho they all see but the psycho ….. I am turning into, yeah I never denied that I am not insane but yeah not yet….soon..
I swallowed hard and looked at the window. Slowly, I got up and walked toward it.
My fingertips touched the cold glass…
"Oh why?" My forehead rests on the window, "you always try to scare me… why?"
I looked down the small backyard below was dark, silence everwhere..
I closed my eyes and exhaled. "Every time I think I'm getting over it… it starts haunting me again. Why? Just… why?"
My fist tapped lightly against the glass.
"Yeah, Dad… I miss you. I do."….
At the party:
"Umm… hi, Zoey. You— you look amazing." Luca was standing behind me… I turn to face him,
I smiled shyly, looking down. Woah. He looked so good.. Luca smiled too, maybe at my shy smile.
He's probably the only one who's ever seen me smile like that — I usually wear that 'don't talk to me' face everywhere.
I was wearing a black dress, light makeup, and for the first time in forever, my hair was down soft curls brushing my shoulders.
Nobody at school had ever seen me like this, so yeah, I was definitely getting a lot of stares.
There was a small, awkward silence between us.
"So, Zoey… you don't have any friends here? I mean, at the party?" he asked.
I shook my head. "No."
"I see," he said, his eyes wandering around the room. His house was huge like something straight out of a movie. Waiters, music, people laughing. But even with all this, he didn't seem like the spoiled type the rumors described him as.
Then I saw Bella. And she saw me standing next to Luca.
I smiled, a slow smirk spreading across my lips. She looked instantly pissed.
She probably knew. She'd caught me staring before, that dumb look on my face whenever she talked to him. Girls notice everything, even when we pretend not to.
Luca's eyes flicked toward her. She was wearing a dark sparkly dress bold, dramatic, typical Bella.
I caught him looking and he quickly looked away, maybe embarrassed.
"Zoey, I— I have to go," he said suddenly…. Before I can say a word, he walked away..
I watched him walk off, joining his group of friends.
Something about the way he left felt… off.
As my thoughts begans, my eyes caught movement near the snack table.
Elizabeth.
She stood alone in the corner, lost in her thoughts….
The first thing I felt was guilt. Why was she standing there all alone?
Did Bella hurt her?
Ugh, I could definitely expect that from her.
I walked up to her. "Um… hi."
She looked up, and her face lit up instantly. "Oh, hi Zoey!"
Her eyes moved up and down, taking in my look. "You look… different. I mean, so pretty."
I smiled softly. "Thank you. Not more than you, Miss Sparkle."
She laughed. "I thought you'd never talk to me again."
I looked down, then back at her, sighing. "Yeah… I thought that too. But I guess— I like you. You know, as a friend."
She smiled, a little shy. "Um, Zoey" she was hesitating "I'm not friends with Bella. She's my….my cousin."
My eyes widened. "Wait, what? You never told me that! We've been talking for like, a week now!"
"I just never felt the need to mention it" she said quickly. "Until I realized… you don't really like her."
I looked away. "It's okay. Just— drop the topic."
She hesitated, then smiled again. "You like him, don't you?"
I froze for a second, then nodded. I knew she meant Luca.
"You two look good together" she teased… smiling
I laughed nervously. "Haha, um.. don't say it like that. And please don't tell anyone, okay?"
She grinned… "I won't. After all… we're friends now."
"Friends" I nod with a small smile, nodding.
There is something still scares me… the word friends…..
...…..Z...