"Oh..." I caught the slightest sliver of disappointment in my tone and mentally scolded myself. 'This isn't the time to fuss about sleeping with your boss, Isla.' "With all due respect, sir, I know you have all the money to spend, but pregnancy isn't something you can throw money at and expect to work out with ease. If- and that's a huge if- I actually agree to this ridiculous idea and get pregnant, it will take a huge toll on my body, my mental health, my emotions, and drastically alter the course of my life. It's not something I can navigate on my own."
"And you're not going to." He cut in gently. "I'm not so heartless that I'd expect you to handle all the stress by yourself. I'll be there to support every step of the way as much as you'd let me."
That made my shoulders relax a little, and I even managed to let out a chuckle. "Are you ready to clean up after me if I throw up in the middle of the night?"
"If it comes to that, I am."
I didn't know what else to say. This was all too sudden and honestly felt like there was a catch. But when I thought of my mother wasting away in the hospital and the debts I still had to clear up... part of me knew my decision had already been made. "May I ask something?"
"Go ahead." He gestured.
"Why don't you just settle down and have a child the traditional way? Why go through all the stress?"
For a moment, I thought I'd crossed a line and wouldn't be getting an answer, but he spoke up. "I'm not ready to settle down and get married yet. It's a big commitment."
"And having a child isn't?"
"Ironically." He shrugged and leaned back in his seat. "My family is pressuring me to have a child. And unless I take matters into my own hands, they'd sooner tie me up and get what they want one way or another."
"Don't you have a say in how you live your life?"
"Not always."
A commoner like me couldn't even begin to understand how the upper elite functioned. I just found it sad that that was how they lived. Control was considered normal to them, and to bring a child into that world scared me a little. "Will you be like that? To your child?"
"The beauty of life is that cycles don't always have to be repeated."
Though it was brief, I recognized the emotion in his eyes. A sadness and longing that I remembered all too well. At least he'd give his child a better life than he was given.
We ate the rest of our dinner in silence. I was thankful that he didn't try to pressure me and left me to have time to think. And boy did I do that. Even as we drove to my apartment, I kept weighing the options in my mind. I loved children, but was I ready to have one? He said I could be in the child's life if I wanted to, but did he mean it? Will his family let a random person like me give birth to their heir?
Even the word heir left a sour taste in my mouth. A child that young would be burdened with the legacy of the family he or she was born into. It's no wonder Damien was the way he was. As an only child, he too was the heir to the Frost family.
"I don't need an answer tonight." His voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "You can take the rest of the week off to think about it."
I stifled a smile. Even if I had made a decision, which I hadn't, no way would I pass up the opportunity of a free two days off. I didn't even remember the last time I had a vacation. Being a slave to the corporate industry was not for the weak. "Okay. Thank you." I tried not to sound too excited. "Right... Will I still be able to go back to work if we go through with this?" As tiring as it was, holding a respectable job was one of my greatest accomplishments. I worked hard to get there, and I didn't want to let it go so easily.
"For the most part, yes." His eyes remained focused on the road as he spoke. "However, once you're further into the pregnancy, you'll have to go on maternity leave."
"Okay." That was understandable.
We got to my apartment, and Damien got out to open the door for me, extending an arm to help me get off. I never would have guessed he had that gentlemanly side to him. Underneath all that ice, there was a small flicker of warmth. "Thank you." I took it and climbed out of the car. "...for this and the dinner. I'll think about what you said and get back to you with a decision soon."
He gave me a nod. "Have a good night, Miss Kim."
"You too."
I watched as his car drove off and stood there silently, half expecting a camera crew to pop out and yell "We got you!" but nothing of the sort happened. It was real. All of it. And I had a life-changing decision to make.
After taking a much-deserved shower and a warm cup of tea, I spent the whole night researching IVF procedures and pregnancy alike. My mother had difficulties getting pregnant, and I ended up being conceived through IVF, so I wasn't foreign to it, but there was still so much I didn't know. To think I might be having a child the same way I was born... maybe cycles did repeat themselves after all.
I rubbed my flat stomach and fell on my back. There might actually be a baby in there soon. A real-life human baby! "This wasn't on my New Year's resolution!"