Tears streamed down my cheeks, each drop a testament to the raw ache in my heart. Betrayal coursed through me like a dark wave, crashing against the shore of my soul. It felt as if Shanks possessed an uncanny ability to unearth my deepest, most harrowing insecurities, dragging them into the light. He was forcing me to confront the shadows that haunted me instead of allowing me to retreat into my familiar haven of despair. With each agonizing revelation, he urged me to stay anchored in the present, to embrace life rather than succumb to the allure of death. I realized that the longer I lingered in this tumultuous space, the more I peeled back my protective layers, and the harder it would become to summon the strength to abandon the fight for my own existence.
Shanks held me tightly in his strong arms, the warmth of his body contrasting with the cool ocean air. "Let's get to shore first," he muttered, determination lacing his voice. In a swift motion, he lifted me effortlessly into a princess carry, his grip secure as he jumped, arcs of water splashing around us as we soared through the air toward the island that loomed about a hundred feet away. "This conversation isn't over," he added, a hint of urgency in his tone.
I rested my head weakly against his chest, the rhythmic beat of his heart a strange comfort amid my swirling thoughts. Why was he making everything so complicated? The absurd confession he'd just shared lingered in my mind, but even now, I struggled to believe it. After all, what could be good about me? Deep down, I sensed that this might be just a twisted way for him to keep me close, a cruel tactic to bind me to him amid the storm of emotions that practically drowns me.
"Kouya, my love, think of me as a caged beast," Shanks murmured, his voice a low, seductive whisper that danced on the warm ocean breeze. I sat in his lap, the grains of sand beneath us warm and comforting, a stark contrast to the intensity of his gaze. "The moment you turn around and run, that's when the key to my cage unlocks. When you flee from a beast, the predatory instinct awakens within me, compelling me to chase you down, to capture you, to consume every part of you."
I could feel the tension in his body as he spoke, a mix of desire and restraint. His breath was warm against my ear, and I shivered slightly, acutely aware of the weight of his presence behind me, enveloping me like a protective shield. "I'm trying really hard to hold back, to avoid doing something I know I'll regret," he continued, a hint of frustration lacing his tone, his head resting gently on my shoulder. My back pressed tightly against his chest, the rhythmic beat of his heart syncing with the crashing waves behind us.
"I wanted to wait, to ensure that we could build a healthy relationship, one founded on trust and understanding," he added, his voice softening as he nuzzled closer. "But you're making it incredibly difficult for me." The vulnerability in his words sent a chill through me, igniting a mixture of shock and disbelief.
"I…" The words faltered on my lips, a jumble of thoughts swirling in my mind, leaving me momentarily speechless. Love had always seemed like a distant concept to me, an ideal reserved for others who had more confidence, more charm—more something. I never truly believed anyone would see me as anything. Yet, the conviction in Shanks' gaze, the desperation laced in his tone, and the heat radiating from him were so palpable that they shattered everything I thought I understood about our relationship.
Shanks was a natural flirt, a magnetic presence who effortlessly charmed everyone around him. I had witnessed him light up countless taverns, enchanting every tavern girl with his playful mischief and disarming smile whenever we seemed to find ourselves in a new port during our adventures. But the way he was looking at me now was entirely different—there was an intensity that stripped away the layers of his usual bravado, revealing something deeper beneath.
Conflicted emotions pooled within me. Part of me wanted to dismiss this as mere folly, a trick of the mind, while another part—a part I hadn't known existed—longed for this moment to be genuine and authentic. A shadow of sadness crept in to cloud my thoughts. Shanks was a good man; kind-hearted, brave, and always there when it mattered. It was impossible not to be drawn to him. But the very idea that someone like him could actually have feelings for someone like me was nothing short of absurd.
"Lie," I whispered, the word slipping from my lips like a secret that could barely hold its weight.
"Do I need to kiss you to make you believe me?" Shanks replied with a laugh that echoed around us, though it wasn't the joyful sound I had grown accustomed to. Instead, it held a note of disbelief mingled with a deep, aching sorrow.
"No…" I shook my head, my heart heavy with the realization. Even a kiss wouldn't erase the doubt gnawing at my insides, because embracing the truth would mean surrendering my hope of freedom. It meant I would face a future where my own desires, even the darkest ones, would remain forever out of reach.
"You don't believe that I love you." I didn't need to see Shanks' face to sense the bitter mixture of depression and mockery that tainted his voice. His words hung in the air, heavy and poignant, drawing a line between us.
"Yes," I admitted, my voice barely a whisper.
"It's okay, I'll make you believe it slowly." His words were a promise laced with determination, and as his lips pressed gently against my neck, a shiver cascaded down my spine. A momentary warmth enveloped me, yet I couldn't shake the knowledge that what he offered was a kind of love I couldn't return. He was the beacon of comfort I had clung to in my darkest moments, someone who had given me solace just before I contemplated the unthinkable—before I had summoned the resolve to end my own pain.
If, and I mean if, Shanks really loved me, then I found myself wrestling with the realization that I might never be able to love the way Shanks did. The depth of his affection left me feeling inadequate, as if I were standing on the edge of a great chasm, unable to bridge the divide. The thought of his tender devotion truly frightened me; the last thing I wanted was to shatter the heart of someone who cared so deeply. I couldn't shake the fear that one day I would be the one to let him down, to leave him heartbroken and alone.
We sat enveloped in a profound silence, the weight of unspoken words lingering in the air as he held me tightly against his chest. Time seemed to stretch like the golden rays of the sun dipping lower in the sky, our clothes still damp from the ocean's embrace, gradually drying in the warm breeze. The thought of returning felt daunting, and I found myself surprisingly grateful that Shanks hadn't insisted on dragging me back immediately. That was the very reason we were sitting here, allowing the tranquility of the moment to wash over us.
The rhythmic sound of the waves crashing against the shore created a soothing symphony. At the same time, the salty scent of the ocean surrounded me, wrapping me in a surprisingly comforting familiarity that felt like home. Wispy clouds floated lazily across the firmament, driven by a gentle breeze that carried the whispers of the sea. As I breathed in the calming air, I could feel the tightness in my chest start to loosen.
Yet, beneath that calmness, a pang of pain resided in my heart. Shanks was a paradox; he offered me solace and warmth, yet instilled a gnawing fear that shadowed our closeness.
"Back," I whispered to Shanks, my voice barely breaking the serene ambience, signaling my readiness to return with him. Deep down, I understood he wouldn't let me leave freely. Though I doubted I could adequately articulate the twisted reasoning behind my impulsive act of tearing up that damn demonic music score, I knew it was wiser to go willingly than to be compelled.