Uchiha Ran had always believed there were two kinds of things in this world he absolutely could not stand.
The first was when both sides clearly saw each other, yet somehow he was the one who got beaten up.
The second… was lecherous old men peeping into women's bathhouses.
Two days after encountering Tsunade, Ran still hadn't heard any news about her returning to the village. Driven by curiosity, he wandered around Konoha aimlessly.
And then—good grief.
Not only Tsunade, but Jiraiya, who almost never returned to Konoha, had come back as well.
How did Ran know?
Naturally—because he spotted that extremely recognizable silhouette while passing by the bathhouse.
At the entrance of the Meishijuku Hot Spring, Ran saw a tall man wearing a forehead protector emblazoned with the kanji "油" (Oil). Long white hair cascaded all the way down to his waist. He wore a red outer robe over tea‑colored clothing, wooden geta sandals on his feet, shinobi guards on his arms, and a massive scroll strapped to his back.
Jiraiya's back…
Ran's first thought was immediate.
If Jiraiya's back… then doesn't that mean all three of the Sannin are basically gathered?
Ran casually ate dinner nearby and waited, observing quietly.
Jiraiya—self‑proclaimed Toad Sage, eternal wanderer, and seeker of the "Child of Prophecy"—had rushed back to Konoha after hearing reports of instability along the borders.
After being away for so long, he felt his understanding of the village had grown outdated. And so, before night fully fell, he decided to conduct some… field research at the women's bathhouse.
To see how Konoha had "changed over the years."
When darkness blanketed the land, Jiraiya slipped quietly into the shadows near the bathhouse.
His presence was ghostlike, his gaze locked onto a softly glowing window.
Through it, he could see gentle steam rising, mist curling upward like drifting clouds—almost dreamlike.
This was a public hot spring.
One by one, village women entered the bath, their bodies bare, voices soft as they chatted casually.
Watching those pale figures through the steam, desire stirred in Jiraiya's heart.
Magnificent… absolutely magnificent.
That forbidden thrill—the danger of being caught—sent a shiver through his soul.
Just then, a female shinobi bathing inside seemed to sense something amiss.
She turned sharply toward the window, alert—but failed to spot him.
Jiraiya felt a flicker of awkwardness.
He was about to retreat when… he changed his mind.
Just a little longer.
The kunoichi checked outside once more. Though she found nothing, she seemed to recall hearing that someone had returned to the village. After finishing her bath, she quietly left.
Jiraiya remained.
Watching.
Ran could no longer stand it.
Seriously—this tall, imposing man who looked so upright and dignified… why did he insist on doing something so shameless?
If I can't watch, then neither can you—
No—correction.
"I, Uchiha Ran, was born upright and righteous. I cannot tolerate such shameless behavior in Konoha!"
With that conviction burning in his heart, Ran walked over and gently tapped the crouching Jiraiya on the shoulder.
"Wait, wait—don't rush me. Let me finish watching first."
Jiraiya waved him off, assuming this was a fellow enthusiast trying to steal his premium viewing spot.
There's no saving him…
Ran was genuinely baffled.
This is one of the Legendary Sannin? Even looking at women requires peeping?
If I told you I bathed in the same pool as Tsunade and saw everything—what kind of face would you make?
"Hey, old man," Ran said coolly. "I'm with the Uchiha Police Force. Your behavior constitutes suspected indecent conduct toward women. Please come with me."
He gave the greasy pervert a cold smile.
Jiraiya: ...(ﾟДﾟ)?!
"The Uchiha Police Force handles this now too?"
Jiraiya was genuinely confused.
Have I really been gone that long? Did Sarutobi‑sensei give the Uchiha this kind of authority now?
"You don't know who I am?" Jiraiya asked curiously.
Of course I know who you are, Ran thought—but didn't say it.
Instead, he replied firmly,"I don't care who you are. Even if you're the Third Hokage's relative, if you're caught committing an illegal act, you'll be taken in for questioning by the Police Force."
As if a switch had been flipped, Jiraiya suddenly flashed forward, appearing directly in front of Ran.
He leapt into the air, clacked his wooden sandals together with a bang, whipped his hair dramatically, and struck a flamboyant pose.
"Excellent question! 'Toad Sage' is merely my hidden title! I am the invincible, peerless, world‑shaking Legendary Sannin with white hair! Known as the Toad Spirit Immortal of Mount Myōboku—Jiraiya the Toad Sage!"
Ran stared at him.
"Oh. So you're the Jiraiya who's famous alongside my teacher Orochimaru? You look more like a perverted wolf to me."
No mercy.
"Wait—what's your name? And what did you just call Orochimaru? You called him teacher?"Jiraiya froze, suddenly alert.
"I'm Uchiha Ran of the Uchiha clan. Even if you try to cozy up to me, I won't let a peeping tom off the hook. And yes—Orochimaru‑sensei is my teacher."
Jiraiya was stunned.
After Nawaki's death… Orochimaru actually took in an Uchiha as a disciple?
He was happy for Orochimaru—but he really didn't want to spend the night in an Uchiha detention cell.
"So… is there any chance you could let me off this time?" Jiraiya pleaded. "I didn't do anything that endangered Konoha…"
Ran replied icily,"Lord Jiraiya, the offense has already occurred. You'd better come with me. Any act of voyeurism discovered by me, Uchiha Ran, will be punished by law."
This Uchiha is way too stubborn… and of course, he's an Uchiha.
Sigh… guess I'll give Orochimaru some face.
"Alright, alright!" Jiraiya raised his hands. "I admit I was wrong! Please forgive me just this once!"
The apology was painfully insincere.
Ran didn't care.
He asked calmly,"Then Lord Jiraiya—what if I catch you peeping again?"
"By the book," Jiraiya replied without hesitation. "If I'm caught again, toss me straight into the Police Force for re‑education."
No problem. I'll worry about it next time.
"Beep—"
Under Jiraiya's stunned gaze, Ran held up a pen-like device and smiled.
"Perfect. Now I have an audio recording, Lord Jiraiya."
..
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