The two sat on a low concrete ledge at the side of the convenience store, a place where people rarely passed.
Alaric stared intently at the girl, his eyes narrowed in suspicion, head tilted in confusion.
"Aren't you going to eat? It will get cold, you know." She noticed Alaric staring at her, but only smiled, gesturing for him to eat his ramen noodles.
She already wolfing hers down.
"Oh, ok..." Alaric opened his noodles, the hot steam visible in the cold night air.
As he ate, he would glance at the girl, impressed by her beauty, but that was not why he looked at her so intently.
They did not know each other, and sure he was handsome, but not enough for a random girl to ask him out, not that, that what's going on.
...
"Thanks for the meal..." The girl clasped her hands in a quiet prayer, then turned to Alaric, who was still eating. "What has you down?" she inquired in the sweetest and warmest voice Alaric had ever heard.
Not seductive, but motherly, a voice that could pull down any type of wall.
"I did something that cannot be undone, destroyed lives that could have had a future... quenched the flames I was supposed to guide..." Alaric unconsciously muttered, his chopsticks that had been up now lowered into the cup, back hunched.
"That was dramatic," the girl thought. "Are you some kind of poet?" she asked innocently, half curious, impressed by his choice of words.
Alaric turned to her, eyes widened. "Is she trying to mock me?" His thoughts paused as he noticed the innocent sky blue eyes locked into his.
"Haha hahaha..." He burst into laughter, tears glistening at the corners of his eyes.
He thought she was mocking him, but it seemed the girl was truly curious about his choice of words.
Maybe it was because he had been gloomy for a while now, or just the contrast between the seriousness of the situation and the girl's childlike curiosity.
He could not help but laugh.
"Did I say something funny?" The girl tilted her head in confusion.
Alaric, almost spilling his food but luckily caught it in time, his laughter dying down.
"No, you didn't." He placed the bowl on the ledge, then turned to the girl.
"It's nothing really. It seems I was just taken aback by your innocence..." Alaric paused, the memories of the little girl flashing through his mind.
"...The same innocence that child had..." Before he knew it, tears began to fall from his eyes, flowing like a stream.
He had not cried, had forgotten how to, but now, in front of a stranger, he, a middle aged Navy SEAL, was bawling his eyes out.
"What am..." His words were caught in his throat as he felt the girl's arms wrap around his head, pulling him into her embrace, his well built form leaning on her soft, delicate frame.
He felt like a child in his mother's embrace, the bottled up emotions breaking apart.
"I didn't know there were kids down there...
I killed them, I robbed them of their future...
They are the ones I swore to protect...
I have killed many...
Robbed many of their future but they were all for a good cause...
Even with that now a question myself...
but these children, it wasn't even an order so that I can blame my Superiors but my mistake.
I could sleep at night because I knew I was destroying a hundred to save thousands but now...
how can I sleep now when I destroyed a part of those I am to protect "
His mouth quivered as he spoke, body trembling like a child.
He did not know why, and at that moment did not care.
He just said it all.
Even to his therapist he had not done that, but to this stranger, he could not help but let it all out.
...
After a few minutes of silence, he pulled out of her embrace, wiping his tears with the cuff of his sleeves.
"What the hell..." he thought to himself, unsure of what had just happened.
He was a soldier, a middle aged individual, a man at that, yet he cried in front of a girl.
He pulled back in suspicion, eyes narrowed, guard up as he stared at the girl, afraid she might have added something to his meal when he was not looking.
Maybe a psychoactive drug, as that was the only explanation for what was happening.
And for some reason, he felt the weight of his 'sin' had lessened considerably.
"I still don't understand what you did," the girl pulled closer, clasping Alaric's left hand between hers.
Alaric, though apprehensive of her, could not help but let her. It felt natural, warm, as if he were with his mother.
"But for you to cry over it means you truly regret it, and that means you are a good fellow," she added.
"Whatever you might have done, no matter how you beat yourself up, it's gone, and the more you beat yourself up, the more you allow it to eat you up."
She pulled her hands back, head drooping as she said in a low tone, "I am not as smart as most people."
Her choice of words made Alaric tilt his head in confusion.
"Sometimes when I spill water on the ground, it even cause deaths..."
"Huh?" Alaric was at sea.
How would spilling water cause deaths?
"Oh, she means killing ants. What a sweet girl," Alaric could only conclude.
The girl, unaware of his thoughts, continued.
"But mother said I shouldn't wallow in guilt, as that dulls me and also affects my work, so I should just redeem myself."
She turned to Alaric.
"Though it's impossible to retrieve the life lost, for your own sake it's best to save lives to redeem yourself for those lost at your hands," she explained, her voice soft.
"Ah... and mother also said we shouldn't forgive those who cause us harm, because if we do, more harm might be caused..."
"And mother said I should be careful so I don't spill water in the first place..."
She began to ramble, the tension of the moment lost, yet Alaric only smiled.
Those words were not new, but to hear them from someone else brought a sense of weight he could not put his finger on, especially from an innocent girl like her.
"Don't worry, I get you" He ran his hand through his hair, then looked up at the sky, melancholy.
"I won't let this get to me, but it will be a reminder that I need to be more careful, and when the chance presents itself, redeem myself, even if it cost me my life."
"Yes, that's the spirit!" the girl cheered.
"Ah, my break is over." She quickly sat up after looking at her watch.
She had spent quite some time with him.
"Wait, what is your name?" Alaric inquired.
"Maria... Maria Tiamat," she said with a soft smile.
"I have to go now. I will see you again, Mister. Alaric " Leaving behind those words, she left Alaric behind.
The latter sat there alone under the moonless sky, a cup of ramen in hand, a melancholic smile on his face.
"Did I tell her my name? " He pondered but shook his head maybe he had and he didn't remember, today had been a strange day after all.
" I hope that chance comes for me to redeem myself "
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A/N
4/5