The elevator doors opened to the sound of a school bell ringing. Ding-Dong-Ding-Dong.
Floor 9: The Graveyard of Genres was a patchwork nightmare. The sky was pink and filled with cherry blossoms, but the buildings were crumbling, blood-stained ruins of a Japanese High School.
[SYSTEM ALERT: FLOOR 9 ENTERED]
[CURRENT GENRE: POST-APOCALYPTIC ROM-COM]
[OBJECTIVE: GRADUATE ALIVE.]
"Why are there cherry blossoms falling?" Sarah asked, brushing a petal off her shoulder. "And why is the background music so... bubbly?"
"It's a Rom-Com," Aryan said, drawing Excaliburn. The sword hummed happily, seemingly enjoying the shoujo atmosphere. "But look closely at the students."
In the courtyard, hundreds of students were shambling around. They wore tattered uniforms. Their skin was green and rotting. But instead of moaning "Brains...", they were blushing.
A female zombie with a "Student Council" armband spotted Aryan. She didn't roar. She pouted.
"I-It's not like I wanted to eat your brains or anything... B-Baka!" she groaned, drooling blood.
"Tsundere Zombies," Barnaby noted from his jar. "A truly terrifying combination of necrotic hunger and emotional constipation."
"They're charging!" Rhea shouted.
A wave of zombies sprinted toward them. But they weren't running to bite; they were running with arms outstretched, holding [Love Letters] stained with gore.
[ENEMY: LOVESTRUCK GHOUL (LVL 20)]
[ATTACK: CONFESSION BOMB - If you accept their feelings, you turn into a zombie. If you reject them, they fly into a rage.]
The Rejection Combo
"Don't let them confess!" Aryan shouted. "If they finish their sentence, we take Emotional Damage!"
The Student Council Zombie lunged at Aryan. "Notice me, Protagonist-kun!"
Aryan didn't slash her. He activated [The Red Pen].
A holographic interface appeared over her head showing her [Relationship Status].
[STATUS: CRUSH ON ARYAN]
Aryan slashed his finger.
[EDIT: CRUSH -> FRIENDZONED.]
The Zombie stopped mid-lunge. She looked devastated.
"F-Friendzoned?" she wailed. "We... we can still hang out, right?"
She slumped to the ground, losing the will to fight (and eat brains).
"Mira! Left side!" Aryan commanded.
A Jock Zombie was trying to give Mira a severed head as a gift. "I brought this for you! Take it!"
Mira used [Shadow Step]. She appeared behind him.
"I prefer flowers," she whispered coldly.
SLASH.
Her Twin Daggers decapitated the Jock.
[CRITICAL REJECTION!]
[EXP GAINED.]
"This is ridiculous!" Sarah screamed, whacking a zombie nerd with her handbag. "Why are they so clingy?!"
"It's the genre!" Aryan yelled. "We have to change the channel! We need to escalate the plot so the System forces a genre shift!"
"How do we do that?" Rhea asked, strumming a 'Break-Up Song' on her lute that caused zombies to cry blood.
"We need a plot twist!" Aryan said. He looked at the First Son. The massive wooden giant was kicking zombies away, but he was getting overwhelmed by sheer numbers.
"We need to go bigger," Aryan said. He looked at the Talking Stove. He looked at Barnaby.
"Barnaby," Aryan shouted. "Have you ever piloted a Mech?"
"I have driven a Toyota in a dream once," Barnaby replied. "Why?"
Aryan grabbed the Stove and jammed it into the First Son's chest cavity (which opened like a hatch).
"Stove! You are the Engine! Burn hot!"
"I AM A NUCLEAR REACTOR OF FLAVOR!" the Stove roared, igniting a blue flame.
"Barnaby! You are the Pilot!" Aryan tossed the jar into the First Son's head (which had a hollow space for eyes).
"I HAVE THE CONN!" Barnaby screamed.
Aryan slapped his hand on the First Son's back.
[SKILL: REALITY ARCHITECT - GENRE OVERRIDE.]
[TARGET GENRE: MECHA / SCI-FI.]
The Awakening of Gundam-Wood
The System glitching sound tore through the air. KRRR-ZZZT.
The pink sky turned dark red. The cherry blossoms turned into sparks. The bubbly music stopped and was replaced by an intense, orchestral synth-rock soundtrack.
[SYSTEM ALERT: GENRE SHIFT DETECTED.]
[NEW GENRE: SUPER ROBOT WARS.]
[ENTITY EVOLUTION: FIRST SON -> TITAN FRAME "YGGDRASIL"]
The First Son roared. His wooden body began to shift. Ironwood plates slid over his joints. Steam vented from his shoulders (courtesy of the Stove). His eyes—where Barnaby's jar sat—glowed with a menacing blue light.
He grew twenty feet taller. A massive Chainsaw Sword materialized in his hand.
"SYSTEM ONLINE," Barnaby's voice boomed through a loudspeaker, sounding deep and robotic. "TARGETING MAIN CAMERA. ALL SYSTEMS GREEN. LET'S ROCK."
The Zombies stopped blushing. They looked up in terror.
"T-That's cheating..." the Zombie Queen whimpered.
"ROCKET PUNCH!" Barnaby commanded.
The First Son didn't actually have a rocket punch, so he just punched the air so hard the wind pressure acted like a cannon.
BOOM.
A shockwave flattened the entire courtyard. Dozens of zombies were blown away like leaves.
"It's working!" Aryan cheered. "The genre shifted to Sci-Fi! The zombies are under-leveled for this meta!"
The Kaiju Principal
But the System wasn't going to let them win that easily. If the protagonists get a Mech, the Antagonist gets a Kaiju.
The school building exploded.
Rising from the rubble was the Principal. But he was now a mutated blob of flesh, tentacles, and detention slips. He was 100 feet tall.
[BOSS: THE DETENTION LORD (KAIJU CLASS)]
[SPECIAL ATTACK: EXPULSION BEAM.]
"NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS!" The Kaiju-Principal roared. He fired a beam of red energy from his mouth.
"SHIELDS!" Barnaby yelled.
The First Son raised his massive wooden arm. [World-Shield] activated. A hexagonal blue barrier appeared.
The beam hit the shield. BZZZT. The Stove groaned as it burned extra fuel to keep the energy levels up.
"Aryan!" Mira shouted. "We can't fight that thing on foot! We're ants down here!"
"Then we board the Mech!" Aryan grabbed Mira's waist. "Hold on!"
He looked at the First Son's shoulder.
[SKILL: SHADOW STEP (SHARED).]
Aryan and Mira teleported onto the First Son's shoulder. Rhea and Sarah scrambled up the leg ladders.
They were now riding a Giant Wooden Mecha piloted by a Fish, powered by a Stove, fighting a Principal Kaiju.
"This," Aryan yelled over the wind, "is the coolest chapter yet!"
The Final Slash
"His HP is massive!" Barnaby reported via the intercom. "I suggest we use the Ultimate Move. But the Stove is overheating!"
"I AM FINE!" the Stove's voice crackled. "I AM JUST CARAMELIZING!"
"We need a finisher!" Aryan looked at Excaliburn.
The sword was shaking.
"That monster is huge! It has tentacles! I've seen enough anime to know where this goes!" Excaliburn cried.
"Excaliburn!" Aryan shouted. "Combine with the Mech!"
Aryan jammed the sword into a slot on the First Son's shoulder.
[SYSTEM: WEAPON SYNC.]
[EXCALIBURN + MECHA SIZE MODIFIER.]
The sword grew. And grew. And grew.
Suddenly, the First Son was holding a 50-foot long laser blade made of pure holy light.
"OKAY! I FEEL BIG! I FEEL CONFIDENT!" Excaliburn shouted, his voice now booming like a god. "I AM THE CHAD-CALIBUR!"
"SYNCHRONIZE!" Barnaby yelled.
Aryan, Mira, Rhea, Sarah, and Barnaby shouted in unison (because that's how Mecha anime works).
"FINAL ATTACK: DETENTION DENIED SLAAAASH!"
The First Son boosted forward, thrusters (steam vents) flaring.
The Kaiju-Principal tried to block with a tentacle.
It was useless.
SHING.
The blade sliced through the Kaiju, the school, and the pink clouds behind it.
[CRITICAL HIT.]
[DAMAGE: 999,999.]
The Principal froze.
"But... I have tenure..."
BOOM.
The monster exploded into a rain of golden EXP orbs and graduation certificates.
The Loot and the Elevator
The First Son landed, steam hissing from his joints. He shrank back down to normal size. The Stove popped out, panting. Barnaby's jar was retrieved.
"That," Barnaby bubbled, looking dazed, "was exhilarating. I want to buy a Gundam model kit immediately."
Aryan jumped down. He picked up the loot drop from the Principal's remains.
[ITEM: DIPLOMA OF THE GENRE WALKER]
Passive Effect: You can now force a 'Genre Shift' once per week. (Cooldown: 7 Days).
"A powerful skill," Aryan nodded. "If we get stuck in a Horror movie, I can turn it into a Cooking Show."
[SYSTEM: FLOOR 9 CLEARED.]
[NEXT DESTINATION: FLOOR 10 - THE BOSS RUSH.]
"Floor 10," Mira wiped zombie blood off her daggers. "Every 10th floor is a milestone boss, right?"
"Yes," Aryan said, looking at the elevator. "And since this is the first big milestone... expect something personal."
The elevator doors opened.
Inside, there was a single chair. Sitting on it was a small, wooden puppet.
It looked exactly like the puppets Aryan used to carve.