Kaiser left his older brother's room with the taste of bile in his mouth. The smell of blood and fear still clung to his clothes. He walked quickly down the corridor, shoulders stiff, fists clenched. At the first corner where no one could see him, he doubled over and vomited against the wall. His stomach emptied in several spasms. He stayed there, hands on his knees, breathing hard. Tears stung his eyes, but he swallowed them immediately.
"I have to toughen up," he muttered through clenched teeth. His voice was still shaking. "Sooner or later, I'll have to kill. Maybe many times."
He spat one last time, wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve, and straightened up. He splashed water on his face at the hallway fountain, scrubbing hard to erase the smell. Then he took a deep breath and headed toward the training grounds. He needed to move, to hit something, to forget the feeling of the clamp in his hand and the screams still echoing in his head.
The afternoon sun beat down hard on the large paved courtyard. The soldiers were already training. The clash of swords and sharp orders filled the air. Kaiser crossed the yard with determined steps. Several men greeted him, but he only nodded back. He was looking for one person.
She was there, in the center, as always. The county's commander-in-chief, Kethra. Tall, short black hair, a face both hard and beautiful. She wore the black uniform of senior officers, fitted just right. Her cold eyes scanned the grounds with natural authority. When she saw him coming, a half-smile tugged at her lips.
"Well, well, little Lord Paragon finally deigns to show his face," she called out loud enough for everyone to hear. A few laughs broke out among the soldiers.
Kaiser didn't answer right away. He took off his jacket, set it on a bench, and rolled up his sleeves. "I want to train today."
Kethra raised an eyebrow. "With me? You sure? Last time you were eating dirt in under ten seconds."
"I was tired. Today's different."
She studied him for a long moment. Her eyes examined him without shame, as if trying to read inside him. "Alright, little lord. Grab a training sword."
Kaiser picked a heavy wooden sword and stepped into the circle that quickly formed around them. Kethra took the same weapon she always used. She got into stance casually.
"First touch wins. No mercy," she said simply.
"What's the point of saying that when I'm still going to lose?"
Kaiser attacked first. He put all his rage into the strike. The sword whistled through the air. Kethra parried effortlessly, stepped aside, and hit him in the stomach with the flat of her blade. The impact knocked the wind out of him. He staggered back two steps, doubled over.
"Maybe, but after a hundred sword strikes you'll probably manage to block one," she commented calmly.
"I'm flattered you believe in me," he shot back.
He straightened up, teeth clenched. He attacked again, faster, chaining blows. She blocked everything with ease.
"I don't believe in you. I believe in hard work. Even someone with mediocre talent like you can get stronger. That's what my master taught me."
"You always talk about your master. He must be pretty strong. To teach a commoner like you." Kaiser threw the jab.
Kethra narrowed her eyes. With every parry, she found an opening and struck. Shoulder, thigh, arm. Never the face. She tormented him methodically. Three hours later, Kaiser was covered in bruises, breathing ragged, legs shaking.
"She's obviously very strong, but you don't need to know."
She lowered her sword. "Break. You'll collapse otherwise."
He dropped to his knees, panting. She crouched in front of him, close enough that he could smell her faint scent mixed with sweat and her white, round mounds pressed against her uniform. "What's gotten into you today? You usually give up earlier."
Kaiser looked up at her. "I need to get stronger."
She stared at him silently for a moment. "Why now?"
"I just don't want to be weak anymore."
Kethra stood and offered her hand. He took it. Her grip was firm, warm. She pulled him to his feet without effort. "Catch your breath. Then we start again. But this time, I'm going to teach you something useful."
She moved behind him, placed one hand on his shoulder and the other on his wrist. "Your problem is you strike with emotion. Anger makes you blind. Watch."
She guided his arm in a slow motion. "Wrist loose. Body weight follows. Not brute force." She repeated the movement several times. Kaiser felt the warmth of her body close to his. He focused on her instructions, on the light pressure of her fingers.
"Again," she said.
They worked like that for four hours. She corrected every flaw, every unnecessary tension. Sometimes she still hit him, but lighter. At the end, he managed to touch her shoulder once. Just once. She smiled openly.
"Not bad. For a start."
The sun had already set, and the moon was faintly shining. The soldiers had gone back to their own drills. Kaiser and Kethra sat on a bench in the shade. She handed him a water flask. He drank deeply.
"You know," she said, wiping sweat from her forehead, "when I was your age, I thought I'd always be a talentless commoner at the bottom of the ladder. But today I'm the general of a county, even if I can't stand Count Paragon… Anyway, what I'm saying is real strength is never giving up."
"I understand. You were lucky to have a good teacher."
"That's true… Just like you, I had mediocre-rank talent. And since I saw that, unlike most nobles, you have a lot of courage but no useless pride about learning from a commoner like me…"
"Pride won't save my ass. Why would I have any?" he muttered to himself.
Kaiser lowered his eyes to his hands, still stained with dried blood under the nails. He quickly hid them. "And when you have to do things… you never thought you'd do?"
She looked at him carefully. "You do them. Then you live with it. Or you die. There aren't thirty-six paths."
Silence settled in. Not awkward. Just calm and soothing.
"Tomorrow, same time," she said finally, standing up. "And bring protection. I won't always hold back."
Kaiser nodded. "Thank you, General."
She walked a few steps away, then turned back. "Just call me Kethra when we're alone. Titles are fine for five minutes."
Kaiser nodded.
He stayed on the bench a little longer, looking at the sky.
"Fuck… do anything to survive," he repeated as pain radiated through his body.
He stood up, picked up his jacket, and headed back to the manor.