I would say tragically that the form of this written assignment could not be fully completed. The assignment would have mentioned me getting a killer hog and a cool band of heroes, but to start, we wouldn't really see them. Gambit was enraged, he had woken up another day to the dog, threatened by pelicans. He took water from the river to soothe his crass mind and smoked something I wouldn't see very often. He would constantly shake like his protein powder he got from a soft box at the shelter was actually coke. Stripped a new line, Gambit felt ill from taking this much of it. He felt like the pelicans at sea were vaguely frying his every stumble. At last he would joke about his mind being corrupted, staying by the river, watching everything he sees. It would seem the callous joke that something had to happen would cry down the reader's back, but it's true, nothing ever did. Every so often Gambit would get shit on by pelicans and we'd laugh, but we wanted a chapter for him. Everyday went like this, Gambit watched, psychic as we all are, but his shows would get rewritten and he was really at the bottom of a local hierarchy.
Looking from across the river, Rage Sue Gheist would feed the birds and seek their nature. He would work as a great communicator for the region. He had a freeing job from the nature he would see from the homeless guy he didn't know. He would cry at days with Gambit riding the pelicans for their meat, trying to farm them for food. It would always seem like Rage Sue Gheist had to do something, but severely, he was stopped by his mentor and summoner, Astral Rick, as Gambit was seen as something that shouldn't be there. "Don't give him a lick, and pretend to be there more." Astral Rick would say, wishing he had a bigger friend in Rage Sue Gheist. He wasn't crazy like Gambit would steed, but even Gambit needed more people. Not then though. Gambit would ride like crazy and get sea burn from the water he drank. Eventually Rage Sue Gheist had enough and said, "One bottle of water would be enough, even if it's not everyday." He strode up to Gambit on the bridge and shouted down. "Hey, freebie!" Rage Sue Gheist said, dropping a bottle of water on Gambit's tent. He rode out like crazy, he said "What do you want," to the Gheist, who had left. Gambit saw the bottle of water and it was the first time anyone had ever given him something for free. Besides people who were supposed to give you free stuff, that's what he meant. He had forgiven the gratitude and drank heavily the entire bottle of water. Gambit knew that he must have meant something since he didn't sit around and stay, that thought made him mad, he figured it must have been someone in television and sat. If only he was on TV, he thought. It was maddening and the crying in his mind never stopped giving him playbacks of commercials, as for the lower class, commercials were all they could watch. He tried playing the stock market once, but he lost it all in a crash. I guess that's why he's here, but it's really the gambing, the drinking, and the occasional party drug. It was all in his past, he was clean now and wouldn't be coming back. Occasionally, when he could scrape enough dough selling pelican meat, he would buy a pack of cigarettes. Gambit wishes they would last forever, but when the people found out it was pelican meat, they never came back. One guy actually tried to find it again, said it was gaimy enough to suit the flavor of his recipes. But Gambit couldn't find enough pelicans crazy enough to dive on him anymore. It was a calling of his time, the pelicans used to dive and he killed them, which paid in flesh, but now, they would just sit and shit on him. He thought about getting a gun, but it was too expensive. Plus he'd have to explain why he was openly gaming meat in the city suburbs. Gambit still thought about a slingshot, but all the ones he'd crafted wouldn't reach that far or be steep enough to take out the birds. He thought about complaining to the man who gave him the water, maybe he would get on TV as something like a running gag. That made Gambit mad, who would want to use him as a running gag, that would be crazy. He was obscene and terribly depressed. One day some kids tried to start a fight with him, calling him Gambit and wondering why he didn't throw a card. If only they had known he was Gambit's kid, and he had left him and his mother to fight crime, then they'd feel bad. Gambit had a bad feeling that would make this worse. If people knew him, there'd be more hurt. If he just kept to himself and let enlightenment dawn on him, eventually he'd stop smoking and he'd be more respectable.
The gas got worse, Rage Sue Gheist was in constant chants with Astral Rick, they needed someone who could sue with a stubborn mind, the only one crazy enough would have had to be homeless. It would have to be a crazy, stubborn mind for their plan to work. It got so bad, Astral Rick fired Rage Sue Gheist and he was out on the street again. Rage Sue Gheist wondered why he was still summoned to the earth, when it was Gambit who was doing it. Gambit was heavily chanting every morning to sue the pelicans away, he was so furious, Rage Sue Gheist hopped too, pulled out a slingshot, flew up there, and killed the pelicans. Pelicans rained onto Gambit that morning, and just like the title Gambit Too, he was new again. Gambit, rushed to conclusions, thanked his new friend. "So you're like my ghost? You'll fight for me?" Asked Gambit, "Yeah, something like that, I'd like to get a law firm, we'd do the most that way." Rage Sue Gheist said, quite matter of fact. "Wow, we're like superheroes!" Gambit said. "Say, I guess. What's your name, old timer?" Asked Rage Sue Gheist. "You can call me Gambit, like those kids, I don't have a name, but I'm his son." Said Gambit. "You're Gambit's son? He's got a show, I wonder if we can sue for some winnings." Said Rage Sue Gheist. "It's really a secret, I've been blown off the money he gave me last winning." Said Gambit. "Guess that's out, unless he owes you more, I doubt it." Said Rage Sue Gheist. "Hey," Said Rage Sue Gheist. "Why don't you get a job or something motivating?" Asked Rage Sue Gheist. "I'm not sure how I'd feel about that, it's my dream to fight crime, I really have a stink, I don't find people the right way, I'm insane and barely medicated." Said Gambit. "It looks like you'll fight crime for me then. We could probably get donations." Said Rage Sue Gheist. Running to his car, Rage Sue Gheist picked up a camera, a small one. "We'll start on the street, maybe get a pilot, crime fighters usually do well with it."
It was the start of the first day, Gambit did some radio reading and told everybody who he was and Rage Sue Gheist was out editing it and getting it watched. "This guy can sue you for everything." He said. One guy bought it and asked for help around a local hoodlum, so they breaked for it.
"Alright Gambit, there he is." Rage Sue Gheist said, pointing to a hoodlum. "He offered us five bucks to sue him for his appetite, we get more if we get it." "Looks like I can sue him for his heart." "That's five million! We'd have to sell it, but it's more than enough." "Alright, I need a card for this." Rage Sue Gheist handed him a deck and nodded, this would go into history, with the playback of the camera, they had called action, and Gambit ran to the guy. Gambit looked crazy, with a jar of playing cards, he screamed, "I sue you for half your intelligence! Doh!" And threw a card at him, landing on his jowel. The kid screamed, he had never been sued like that, usually when his dad did it he just grounded him and he had to sneak out. Now half of his intelligence WAS robbed, but he was a stupid kid, he had nothing. So Gambit sneaked out and ran around the corner. "What do you think we'll get for it?" Asked Gambit, "Aw, probably like 15." "15 bucks! Eureka!" "15 thousand, that's his life." Rage Sue Gheist Replied. Awesome, they went back to the guy, and strode again into public with new riches. "I can't believe that worked, you know, Gambit, you're really a marvel of suing, I bet I can figure it out." Rage Sue Gheist pulled his camera aside to look at the footage. "It looks like most of your mind and fragile state is wrapped up in commercials that did alright. "I didn't have a blocker, so I always just watched them." "Just them? I'm surprised. Yeah you got loaded in rage from that, we're perfect for each other, just keep me summoned and we'll have a bash!"
Their next job was to get a car. "With a car, you'll be able to fight crime more." Rage Sue Gheist rattled to the used car dealer. "This one's 8000, but she doesn't have a roof." "Where we're going, we won't need a roof. Does she speak?" "She speaks, she's with it." Alright, they had a car, and some money to spend on Gambit. The car spoke, "So you guys are freelance crime fighters it seems?" They nodded, "Yes, we'll do what's right for the right price." Gambit strode. Rage Sue Gheist was the only one with the license, so he drove, but Gambit was right at home getting chauffeured. "I put you guys on the web and you got a lot of hits, the video helped." Said the car. Rage Sue Gheist sputtered, "What do we call you?" "Nick," said the car. Nick, Gambit, and Rage Sue Gheist drove Gambit back to the bridge. "Well, here we are." Said Rage Sue Gheist. "Wait, can't we get a place?" Said Gambit. "I'm a ghost, I can't live anywhere but with you, sometimes you need to take the helm for this sorta stuff." Gambit ran in and got his stuff after Rage Sue Gheist agreed to go see a place. It was an affordable studio. Gambit ran back out, a fresh outlook blissed his face. He was still mad as all hell, and had a new full deck of playing cards, but having a place would seem to make him madder than all hell. "Shit, lets go out and do a hit, we gotta pay for this place!" Said Gambit. "We can probably hit the mad hatter," Said Nick from Rage Sue Gheist's phone.
So off they went, to go seek revenge from the Mad Hatter. Gambit strode up, Rage Sue Gheist filmed. The Mad Hatter sat alone on a bridge, much like Gambit, but he had money, he was just out for the day. "Take a mortgage payment from this guy, Gambit!" Rage Sue Gheist screamed. Gambit, like before, went to the man and started talking madly, "I sue you for a camper!" Gambit screamed! And threw a card that hit him in the shin! "My word!" Said the Mad Hatter, who ran away. Rage Sue Gheist checked their account. It was around another 10k. "We got it!" Said Rage Sue Gheist. A cop came by to check what was going on. "Now, legally, you can sue, but you can't throw that playing card too hard." The cop said. "It won't kill anyone." Said Gambit. "Then why do you do it?" Asked the cop. "Well uh, it's part of the history of my rage." Said Gambit. "Alright, well you'll have a problem if it hurts anyone, so don't get it in their eyes or whatever." Said the cop. Rage Sue Gheist and Gambit watched as the cop left, almost giving them a ticket for filming in public, but it was fine since they were fighting crime. He did them a favor and left. Nick got on the speaker, "Now we have enough for that security deposit plus extra!"
All of a sudden, without fear or hesitation, Monkey Man knocked on the door. Rage Sue Gheist, knowing who it was, informed Monkey Man that he looked strange upon answering it. It ringed his digit, he wasn't from this time, but a time afterwards, by many years. Rage Sue Gheist was shocked, Monkey Man handed him a letter and tried to stay inside the apartment, like they did when they were poor. "Quintin will only stay nice for so long, and you'll have to pay him, I say just get it over with and it'll be done, we'll all be together, it'll be great." Said Monkey Man. Gambit was shocked, he couldn't overhear them because Rage Sue Gheist slammed the door shut. "We still have money, we don't need roommates yet." Said Rage Sue Gheist. "Listen," Rage Sue Gheist said, and continued, "We need to talk about this letter Monkey Man gave us." Said Rage Sue Gheist. "Alright, lets hear it." Said Gambit. "It just says I shouldn't get you to drink, you can't hurt your wife, and we can't pay protection to Quintin, we just have to take the hit and go look for help outside of crime fighting." Said Rage Sue Gheist. Gambit hushed, he wanted to keep fighting crime for as long as possible, he felt good doing it. Like a long hush, he paused, the remedy seemed to dwell a little short, he didn't want to drink, and was almost relieved, he didn't know he had a wife, and he barely knew who Quintin James Coolkid was. He wasn't sure what was going to happen, but they weren't approached by any of it yet, except maybe the drinking, and it would take a second to register, he was sure. There was a registry of what Gambit thought was right, and Rage Sue Gheist bought him a psychic vault of old cartoons just to register with him more. He loved it, he spend most of his night just staring at the odd wall revisiting old classics. Until one of them made him mad, there's no way TV was that dark. "What is it?" Said Rage Sue Gheist, while Gambit was crawling. "It's a kid's show but they hushed it. It was like a metaphor for something that really happened." Gambit said. "You're seeing colors, most kid's shows back then were nonsense, I'll try to get you newer stuff." Rage Sue Gheist said, pasting the keyboard into his vein. "There, this is how it ended." Rage Sue Gheist said, adapting Gambit once more. "Oh thank the heavens, we were saved by a psychic garden." Gambit said, "Wow I was really scared they were all doing it." "You and me both, I barely heard about it, but I'm new to this world so I don't have a cradle for caring much." Said Rage Sue Gheist. "Maybe we should arrest someone old." Said Gambit. "We can't arrest them, they all got new suits and identities, they're clean so long as they stay it." Said Rage Sue Gheist. It was at that moment, there was another knock at the door. They climbed in their seat, wondering what it could possibly be? Then in an instant, another knock, and a voice. "Hey!" Said the voice. It was a lapse in Rage Sue Gheist's judgement to answer, both were sorta weirded out. "Is that Monkey Man?" Asked Gambit, "No, he would sign." Said Rage Sue Gheist. "Damn, I don't see him." Said Rage Sue Gheist. He of course meant that he couldn't see him psychically. Usually you see everything nowadays, unless you're poor. Rage Sue Gheist was actually a ghost, who could get through the looking glass quite easily and didn't need a subscription, but this was a ghost or something because they botched his quiz. They relegated to just sitting still until another knock, and another voice. "Hey, it's Quintin." Said the voice. Rage Sue Gheist looked shocked. Quintin James Coolkid was the most honest quick psychopath in this generation, who could do nothing but good, he was probably just checking up, but Rage Sue Gheist didn't know for sure. With style, Gambit approached the door, slowly opening it.
"Welcome Gents!" Said Quintin James Coolkid, the proprietor of this world. "Uh, hi, I think I know you from TV." Gambit claimed. "Yes, you probably know me, I invented this psychic universe with an intergalactic bomb!" Quintin said. "Would you let me in?" Asked Quintin. "Sure, come on in," Gambit and Rage Sue Gheist acclaimed. "I brought liquor, but Monkey Man said not to, so I brought Ghost liquor instead, Gambit shouldn't relapse." Said Quintin. "So what's this about?" Asked Rage Sue Gheist. "It's about your show! I love it, I really see it working out to picture." Said Quintin. "So, do you want anything like money for it?" Gambit asked. "Well, no, not now, until it's to picture, I don't assert any wealth, however once you're done editing it and putting it on file, it'll be worth my time to dominate you in a court of law." Said Quintin, shrugging. Shrugging, Rage Sue Gheist asked, "So, if we don't show it anywhere, we can keep suing guys?" "On the contrary, no, the court is recorded and that'll come out in a week, however, usually the state covers it, just as long as everyone is paid." Quintin James Cool said. "Well, is there any way we can keep the money?" Asked Rage Sue Gheist, "Well, if you top out, which means you're one of the best show's on air, you can keep the bribe." Said Quintin. "Well, that should be easy with the autosue and the paid lesson from Gambit." Said Rage Sue Gheist, "Try to dodge this!" Said Gambit, saying his paid lesson. "Hmm, right, you know there's another show called Gambit already, and it's pretty dark, it takes a lesson from you but it pretends to be from before. It's real, to date crime fighting though." James said, "Yes, but we are... Cool too." Said Gambit. "Yeah, I don't know how you're going to win, they just topped out." Quintin said, rambling more, Rage Sue Gheist checked Monkey Man's letter. "Wait! What if... (reading the slip) Monkey Man said, we could do a parody of their show!" Rage Sue Gheist said, Quintin stopped. Thinking, he bit his lip and slammed on his hip. "Goddamn, that's genius." Quintin said. "You're going against someone who can't be taken face on, you'd have to fight him, as a parody, you're free to help or do something righteous around it. You know what? I'll sign you, you have my support, it'll be five nickels though." Said Quintin, "We really don't have a lot of money." Said Gambit. "Yeah, with all our support, it might just look like... Wait a minute, (reading the note) yes, Monkey Man said we could make the parody with you." Said Rage Sue Gheist. "Splendid." Quintin said. "I'll take my money and we'll start tomorrow." Rage Sue Gheist was surprised the one time payment of actually 25 cents would cut it for this. "Thanks a lot!" Quintin said, "Make sure you come to set tomorrow, it'll be a hit!" Quintin claimed. The door shut, Gambit and Rage Sue Gheist were tickling with excitement, "We're going to have a real show! And I won't not love my wife!" Gambit said, sorta tricky. "Yeah, we're right where the timeline needs us to be." Rage Sue Gheist said. "I just hope there won't be any super tricky landmark discoveries that will start a divergence in timelines or some catastrophe I take it." Gambit sparked. "It looks like we'll find out about it tomorrow, big guy!" Rage Sue Gheist said.
Monkey Man approached the bar, where they'd gone before, looking past, he didn't see anything he truly recognized about the future. He would have to stay here for more odds and ends, making sure people didn't latch onto Gambit or his career, making sure he was just a gaping fraud. He would also have to make sure the tech didn't explode him, the fragile nature of this universe needed to remain unharmed, Quintin needed to be suited for once, a lot needed to happen according to him. He sipped his drink and thought of the times they had, he would need to stay until everything was right, nothing could go along the age we saw and captured. Too many people went offline then, too many things could have been prevented if it were a parody of Gambit instead of a running flop. He laughed how Gambit would have to improvise, there was blood in the air floating with that, he wondered if Gambit could do a comedic role in what was clearly a serious fan fiction. He knew the role would be governed by him fully and totally, on screen, the ghost would hold no weight like the lead. He was worried the cameras would exploit him, but if everything works out, he could get everything he wanted. Gambit would cry to him, about life, about the presence, about having 15 cryptid roommates. It was only before the last time he sent was the package of, "He would need so far to go if he wanted his own place," only to be befuddled by, "he could get it if he wants." But that was cruel since Quintin took most of the money and secretly hated all of them and their affordable wakes in crime. They would take the most money and spend it in one day in their affordable lives, it was like the very thought of expensive couldn't allow Quintin to be there, he would need to spoil them, but never did, since the show was trash. There was a thought that decree that if Quintin would stop spoiling them with his gift, they would all trash and fail out, and that was Quintin's presence. They really loved him and wrote him a gift he actually played with, he loved writing with them, he just wished it were a sitcom one day and a pageant the next. He wished it was "Gambit Too," instead of "Gambit NEXT." And then Gambit Next Go. Or plagiarizing, "The Springing Pup Gambit the Tortured." Whatever they made, it would need to stand on it's own, be funny, affordable, offer laughs, and be one thing to bright in this mundane world shining in everybody's adorably furry minds and bodies. Monkey Man saw a drape that looked like Marmaduke and decided to get funky, after about four minutes of talking about what had happened in the dressing room of his fictional television show, they were caught in the bathroom, laughing and doing lines of fictional reefer and meth. After that they bowed and kissed, since nobody really had sex in this world. He was worried he got them pregnant, but Monkey Man remembered he was in a psychic world surrounded by people that knew the TV show was fake. But then it occurred to him that there would actually be a TV show tomorrow... They paid for it. He got to kiss them again but it was a little later and a lot darker. Marmaduke spun around the bar and the sapient Monkey Man got a little ill from the lager. He could carry his drink, he would only drink when expelled, which was every Thursday or Tuesday, unless he was with friends, then it was the weekend. We're all getting old, but the cue was that this Marmaduke could carry around the bar kissing any stranger they want as long as they were furry or had some ancestry. It was a strange world and it only got stranger from here.