Mochi turned toward him slowly 😐.
Not angry.
Just genuinely confused.
"Why are you like that?" she asked.
Laddu didn't even think 🤷♂️. He leaned back, hands behind his head, relaxed like this was a TED Talk.
"Your father would do the same… if he could."
The room snapped ⚡.
Father froze mid-step 🧍♂️.
Mother looked at him instantly 👀.
"…You would?"
Father opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Then—
very slowly—
a smile betrayed him 🙂.
Mother pointed immediately 👉.
"You're smiling."
Father cleared his throat, dignity scrambling back into place 😤.
"I am smiling at the audacity of the comparison."
Maya burst out laughing 🤣.
"Caught."
Candy clapped happily 👏.
"!"
Laddu nodded seriously 🧠.
"See? Same software. Different hardware."
Mochi stared at her father.
"…You?"
Father looked away 🚶♂️.
"In my youth," he said carefully, "people respected boundaries."
Mother raised an eyebrow 😏.
"You wrote poems."
Father coughed violently 😷.
"That is irrelevant history."
Laddu grinned 😁.
"He had a fan club."
Mochi covered her face with her hand 🤦♀️.
"I live with liars."
Mother laughed softly 😂.
"Men don't change. They just get quieter."
Father sighed, defeated but amused 😮💨.
"…Go eat something."
Laddu stood up obediently 🧍♂️.
"Yes, sir."
As he passed Mochi, he leaned in and whispered 👂,
"Future preview."
She pushed him lightly ✋.
"Go."
But she was smiling too 🙂.
Because sometimes,
the chaos made sense.
Candy, sitting on the floor with dangerous curiosity 😈, looked up at Laddu.
She asked innocently,
"Brother… how many girls have you kissed?"
The house inhaled 😮.
Maya froze 🧊.
Father stopped walking 🚫.
Mother slowly turned around 🐢.
Laddu didn't hesitate.
"Eight," he said calmly 😐.
💥💥💥
Maya shouted, "EIGHT?!" 😱
Father choked ☕❌.
Mother blinked rapidly 😳.
Mochi turned her head very slowly… very dangerously.
"…Eight?" she repeated.
Laddu nodded once, peaceful ☮️.
Mochi crossed her arms ❌.
"Who."
Laddu smiled.
"My mother."
Pause ⏸️.
"My grandmother."
Longer pause ⏳.
"My great-grandmother."
The room tilted 🌪️.
"And," he continued seriously, counting on his fingers ☝️✌️,
"my female cow 🐄, buffalo 🐃, duck 🦆…"
Candy clapped wildly 👏.
"Duck!"
"…and horse 🐎," Laddu finished.
Dead silence. ⚰️
Then—
Maya SCREAMED laughing 🤣🤣🤣.
"THIS MAN ESCAPED DEATH BY FARM."
Father sat down heavily 🪑.
"I hate this household."
Mother laughed so hard she had to hold the table 😂.
"At least he respects elders."
Mochi stared at Laddu.
"…You kissed animals."
Laddu nodded proudly 😌.
"Forehead only. Pure love."
Candy giggled 🤭.
"Horse kiss!"
Mochi sighed, rubbing her temple 🤦♀️.
"You are impossible."
Laddu leaned closer and whispered, just loud enough 😏,
"You weren't counted."
She stiffened instantly ⚡.
"…Why."
He smiled softly 🙂.
"Because I ask permission now."
Maya threw a cushion 🛋️💥.
"STOP GROWING IN REAL TIME."
Mother wiped her eyes 👀.
"This family will survive anything."
Candy hugged Ben 🐶.
"Uncle funny."
Laddu leaned back, satisfied 😌.
Crisis avoided.
Honor intact.
Farm included.
Candy wasn't done 😈.
She leaned forward again, eyes shining ✨.
"Brother… how many girls kissed you?"
Laddu didn't blink.
"Hundred plus."
💀💀💀
Maya screamed 😱.
"THIS MAN IS A STATISTIC."
Father stood up out of reflex 🚨.
"Hundred?!"
Mother gasped 😲, then squinted.
"Explain. Slowly."
Mochi crossed her arms again ❌❌.
"…Explain."
Laddu sighed 😮💨.
"Have you ever seen an Indian function?" he asked calmly.
Everyone paused.
"Wedding. Festival. Puja. Birthday," he continued.
"Any gathering."
He counted on his fingers again ✋.
"Many aunties. Many grannies."
Maya nodded slowly 😐.
"…Accurate."
"They come," Laddu acted it out 🎭,
"they pinch cheeks, say 'cute', then—"
He made a loud MWAH 💋 sound.
Candy clapped 👏.
"Cheek kiss!"
"Forehead kiss," Laddu corrected.
"Blessing category."
Mochi stared at him.
"…Because you were cute."
"Yes," he said simply 😊.
"Still am."
Maya collapsed onto the sofa 🤦♀️.
"I HATE HOW THIS MAKES SENSE."
Father rubbed his face 😩.
"Cultural loophole."
Mother nodded proudly 🥰.
"He was a cute child."
Mochi sighed, tension finally dissolving 🌬️.
"So your 'hundred plus' is… aunties."
"Yes," Laddu nodded.
"Aunties and grannies. Nation-wide."
Candy giggled 🤭.
"Brother famous!"
Laddu smiled gently 🙂.
"India is dangerous if you're cute."
Mochi shook her head.
"You survive on technicalities."
He leaned closer, voice low 😌.
"And permissions."
She pushed him lightly again ✋.
"Go help Mother."
"Yes, ma'am."
Maya watched him walk away and muttered 😑,
"This man should come with footnotes."
The house laughed 😂.
Candy still wasn't done 😈.
She leaned forward, deadly curious.
"How many girls kissed you… like Mochi?"
The room froze ❄️❄️❄️.
Even the air conditioner felt awkward 🧊.
Laddu didn't answer.
He looked at Candy.
Then Mochi.
Then Mother.
Then Father.
He swallowed.
"…Do you want to bury me?" he asked softly ⚰️.
Maya LOST it 🤣.
"HE CHOSE LIFE."
Father turned around immediately 🚶♂️.
"I hear nothing."
Mother covered her mouth, laughing 😂.
"Smart boy."
Mochi didn't shout.
Didn't move.
She just looked at him 👁️.
One eyebrow raised.
That was worse.
Candy blinked 😮.
"Bury?"
"Yes," Laddu nodded seriously.
"Deep. With rituals."
Maya wiped tears 😭.
"This is survival instinct."
Mochi finally spoke.
Calm.
Terrifying.
"You can answer."
Laddu straightened his posture 🧍♂️.
"…Three."
💥💥💥
Maya gasped.
Candy's jaw dropped 😲.
Father froze again.
Mother's eyes widened just a little.
Mochi stared at him.
"…Three," she repeated.
Laddu nodded once.
"Yes."
Silence.
Then Mochi exhaled slowly 🌬️.
"…Okay."
The house collectively survived.
Laddu smiled weakly 😅.
Numbers given.
Truth told.
Man alive.