x - forme - CHERREADS

Subaru Natsuki experienced only a single moment between losing consciousness and reviving.

" "

His head had smashed against the hard ground, bathing his world red just an instant ago.

The moment after he lost all five senses, Subaru found himself on top of the soft bed.

"Whew—"

He exhaled. His body relaxed as the shock of death retreated from his soul.

It was enough to make him pull up the sheets and cower, forgetting even to breathe.

Of course it was. He'd never leaped off a cliff and taken his own life before.

His fourth death in this loop was suicide. Without a manual for how Return by Death worked, or any precedent, that could have truly been the end of Subaru's life for all he knew.

But—

"I'm…back…"

Subaru clenched his trembling fist, smiling thinly at the white ceiling that filled his vision.

The soft bed, the sweet-smelling pillow, the well-furnished suite—all of it belonged to the guest room that had greeted Subaru on his first day at Roswaal Manor.

And more importantly—

"Sister, Sister. Our Dear Guest appears to be slow to wake."

"Rem, Rem. Our Dear Guest seems to be slow in the head for his age."

The twin sisters were clasping the other's hands, their eyes side by side as they looked at Subaru from the foot of the bed.

They wore little black dresses with white aprons on the front. Both had dazzling white lace headpieces on top of their short bob hairstyles, one with pink hair, the other with blue. Their faces were young and lovely.

They were the maids who took care of the mansion, and also the reason Subaru had made his Return by Death.

Subaru's heart shuddered at hearing their familiar voices speaking in familiar ways, during what would be the fifth round of meeting them for the first time.

He had a mountain of things he wanted to ask. But he felt like something was lodged in his throat; the words wouldn't come out.

Seeing Rem alive and well, while Ram behaved with her typical rudeness, everything felt so ordinary and natural that it was hard for Subaru to keep his emotions down.

"Dear Guest, Dear Guest. Is something wrong? Are you unwell?"

"Dear Guest, Dear Guest. Are you sick? Perhaps a chronic illness?"

Subaru put a hand on his chest and lowered his head before the bewildered twins.

The maids went to one side of the bed and separated slightly, reaching out with one small palm each as if to touch Subaru from both sides.

Those hands—

"Let me borrow those for a sec."

"Eh?"

"Ah."

Subaru, not waiting for them to say yes, grasped their hands, entwining his fingers into theirs.

With the sisters frozen in surprise, he got a good feel for their slender fingers and the warmth of their palms.

"Yeah, I knew it… There's no mistaking it."

Subaru remembered the feel of their hands and how their warmth had saved him in his time of need.

He wasn't wrong about what had given him the determination to throw himself off that cliff.

Both pulled their hands back and poured scorn on Subaru's rude, insolent behavior.

"No, Dear Guest. You are surely mistaken. About everything."

"No, Dear Guest. It was surely a mistake that you were born."

But Subaru nodded as if even those cruel words were music that refreshed his soul.

"All things considered, I probably shouldn't smile at that…but right now, it feels good."

"Sister, Sister. Might Dear Guest actually enjoy being insulted?"

"Rem, Rem. Might Dear Guest be a perverted masochist?"

These were odd accusations to throw at a "Dear Guest" so quickly, but he smiled and let them slide.

If it meant he could really do things over with the two of them, everything else was unimportant.

Faced with an attitude that was less caution and more blatant, visceral distaste, Subaru hopped off the bed. He pressed a hand to his butt as he double-checked his body's condition before turning toward their two suspicious faces.

"Sorry for doing that earlier without even saying hi. There's something I want to say beyond apologizing, though."

Subaru crossed his arms, dramatically puffed his chest, and sat back down, directly facing Ram and Rem. Feeling the rather sharp gazes that both trained upon him, Subaru absentmindedly mused, They're probably already starting to assess me.

If Subaru Natsuki could not win their trust, indeed, the trust of everyone under the mansion's roof, he could not hope to regain the peaceful, tranquil time he had lost.

So he chose to throw caution to the wind, hoping to assuage their suspicions—

"I mean, geez, I'm not some kind of delinquent who can't get along with anyone…"

Hearing Subaru's murmur, both of them tilted their heads a little, as if they had their doubts about that.

Finding it funny that even now their gestures were syncing up, Subaru felt the tension and stress drain from his body. He already knew what he wanted to say, as well as what he needed to do.

"—I trust you, so let's get along, okay?"

Just like in the first loop, he'd do his best to earn the girls' trust.

Having a little knowledge of the future didn't change Subaru's core nature, nor did the mere possibility he might be able to change things. All he could do was address the situation before his eyes and live every day to the fullest.

Subaru's request made the twins look at each other and trade a silent conversation between their eyes. Their back and forth was still going on when they abruptly looked toward the door, having noticed a lone girl entering at just that moment.

She had skin so pale you could almost see through it, with silver hair she wore down to her hips. Her violet eyes seemed to emit a bewitching magical spell that lured you in. It was Emilia, a girl of inhuman beauty.

Emilia, noticing Subaru staring at her, broke out in a small smile as she looked among the three in the room.

"I heard a ruckus, so I came to peek… You seem pretty lively, Subaru. I'm glad."

"I felt kind of conflicted there, but seeing Emilia-tan blows all that away. You're like a compassion pill that works extra strong on my heart."

"Sorry, I don't really know what you're saying…"

A troubled look came over Emilia's beautiful face because Subaru was speaking even more glibly than usual.

"Even your sad look is cute… You're always fresh, and that makes me feel refreshed."

"Somehow, that sounds kind of creepy. But good morning. I'm glad you're safe."

The grimace she had made quickly softened into a charming smile and

she beamed at Subaru.

As far as Emilia was concerned, this was their first reunion after the events in the royal capital. Subaru sincerely accepted Emilia's words of relief at seeing him come back from the brink of death.

"Yeah, good morning. Well, let's start again, shall we?"

The three girls in the room, not understanding what Subaru meant by that, tilted their heads slightly with puzzled looks.

Seeing all three of them react like a trio of sisters made Subaru break out in laughter.

"What I meant was, it's time for me to start clearing the Roswaal Manor level."

His goal was to reach the morning he wished to see for him, and for everyone at the manor.

—Now, let's get this show on the road.

And so, he began his first day at Roswaal Manor for the fifth time.

He needed to surpass two major obstacles to get through his first week at Roswaal Manor.

The first was to win the trust of everyone living there. This meant not just Ram and Rem but their master, Roswaal, as well.

If the girls saw any part of him as even remotely dubious, the chances they'd commit murder to silence him were exceptionally high.

The second obstacle was bringing down the shaman attacking Roswaal Manor.

But he didn't have any real leads for doing that as of yet.

His opponent was a tough one, his true identity remaining concealed even as Subaru was taking his fifth crack at it.

Subaru needed to earn the twins' trust and deal with this unknown, evil magic user. Those were the victory conditions he had discovered by his fourth death.

However, Subaru still lacked many of the elements he needed to fulfill those requirements. In spite of his Return by Death, he hadn't been able to lay his hands on anything solid.

His head felt stuck between a rock and a hard place, but Subaru threw off his negative emotions and looked to the future.

He had to confront the wall standing before him no matter how high it was.

It was Subaru's choice to come back and do this, not knowing if he'd even make it. He decided that, having once experienced death by his own hands, he would do it…even if it killed him.

The moon was rising in the nighttime sky as a private discussion took place in the study on Roswaal Manor's highest floor.

The man sat at the desk, posing his question in his slow, exaggerated manner of speech.

"So hooow is he, Ram? How would you raaate him from what you have seeeen?"

He was a man with long indigo hair with ghastly pale skin, and he would look something like a classic variety pretty boy—if not for the clown-like makeup covering his face. That, combined with his peculiar speech pattern, made him a hard man to forget.

He was Roswaal L. Mathers, lord and master of the manor.

Participating in the conversation were Roswaal and a maid—Ram— facing toward him and the desk.

Roswaal crossed his arms and made a broad smile while Ram tilted her head, deep in thought. He raised an eyebrow, finding her hesitance to make her report a rare sight.

"Hmmmm, to see Ram, prone to snap judgments about everything, so conceeerned, it is quite a siiight, is it nooot? Perhaaaaps one day is not sufficient to get to know him?"

"That is…not the case. However…"

Though she immediately denied it, her words revealed a lack of clarity. Ram put a fingertip to her own lips and still seemed a little unsure as she began to speak again.

"Let me grade him first. He…Barusu…has no ability. His workmanship

as a servant is completely amateur."

"My, my… Is it not somewhat puuuzzling that he himself asked for this role?"

Roswaal grinned as he recalled the exchange over that morning's breakfast. He remembered, too, what words the freshly awakened guest employed as he sought a reward for his exploits.

What stood out was Subaru's claim of being a teenager with good health, a half-decent education, and a not-terrible head. It was a robust self-assessment that, by the same token, merited a certain level of caution.

Accordingly, he had commanded Ram to oversee his education, as well as to observe his actions and report her findings, as she was doing that moment. He had not thought the matter would be resolved in a single day, but Ram's hesitance in making her report was a problem in itself.

Roswaal rested his cheek against his hand. Ram held her silence for a little while before opening her mouth.

"There are some mysterious things about Barusu."

"Yes, yes, do teeell. Speak of anything that stands out."

"He can be said to be completely without talent, but Barusu seems to be…a little too quick-witted when it comes to particular things."

"What do you mean, a little toooo quick-witted?"

"These are very minor things, but…in the middle of work, he seems overly familiar with minor details about the mansion, things I have yet to teach him. When putting dishes away, he opened the drawers in the proper order. Also, our…tastes in tea leaves."

" "

Roswaal said nothing in reply to Ram's words, instead silently running a fingertip across his chin. Seeing Roswaal do this, Ram added, "Of course, these are all quite minor details. After breakfast, I gave him a brief tour and explanation of the mansion. I noticed his eyes drifting to various places. That is really all, but…"

"I see, too much to be a set of simple coincidences… That is rather iiinteresting."

Suspicion begins from the smallest things. If he was not overthinking it, Subaru could have checked out the mansion before infiltrating it in earnest. But what made that possibility difficult to fathom was…

"His feat was protecting Lady Emilia in the royal capital, was it nooot…?"

"It seems too…blatant a means to infiltrate the mansion. At any rate, he might well have lost his life had Lady Beatrice not been available."

The memory of his being carried into the mansion was still fresh in Roswaal's mind. Though he had not healed the boy personally, it was impossible that Beatrice would participate in such a scheme. Furthermore, Ram had nursed the wounded Subaru the entire way back from the royal capital. Slipping something past both of them was very unlikely.

"All things considered, such thoughts seem sooomewhat excessive in light of the faaacts."

"The Bowel Hunter' who attacked Lady Emilia… I imagine it is possible he conspired with her to infiltrate the mansion, but…"

Ram's words lacked conviction, suggesting even she viewed it as unlikely. For his part, Roswaal shook his head.

"No, that is not pooossible. Surely we need not even suspeeect that the

Bowel Hunter would team up with him?"

"…Is…that so?"

"More importantly, are there any other issues of concern?" Prodded by Roswaal to move on, Ram lowered her eyes.

"I suppose that…putting aside his being too quick-witted from time to time…Barusu is so optimistic, it is rather nauseating."

"Eh?"

Roswaal raised an eyebrow at Ram's statement. She seemed to be not so much choosing her words carefully as she was searching for the right ones to use.

Surely even Ram knew she'd said something off topic. Ram continued, looking frustrated at her own inability to find a more accurate explanation.

"At this rate, he will speak himself to death. His smile never falters when he bumbles, and he seems exceptionally attentive to how he behaves toward us…"

"…What do you thiiink of that?"

"…It is different from how Lady Emilia describes him… Namely, how he's honest about his own desires like a little child, genuine in a likable way…"

Ram tried to keep her response to the subtle question short.

Roswaal, having had little contact with Subaru, couldn't understand what made Ram so doubtful. But these were the words of a loyal retainer who had a long record of service. Roswaal tugged on his chin as he digested Ram's analysis

"It seeeems we shall have to keep an eye on him for some tiiime. His first day made for difficult viewing, but it cannot be heeelped. It is aaalso a fact he deserves a commensurate rewaaard in thanks for saving Lady

Emilia."

"…And if…it becomes necessary?"

Ram's hesitation made it seem like she didn't want to hear what would come next.

The expression on her face remained the same, but Roswaal had spent long enough around her to read what she was feeling inside. Roswaal beheld Ram's moment of weakness with his yellow eye as he made a small shake of his head.

"This is a matter we must handle with great deeelicacy. Above all else, see to it that Rem does not get ahead of herself."

Ram nodded crisply in response to Roswaal's command.

The maid not participating in the conversation, Rem, had a tendency to act according to her own ideas from time to time. Usually, her rushed judgment could be met with just a cute little scolding.

At times like these, however, independent action was likely to push things in a very poor direction. She might well eliminate the danger beforehand, worsening his relationship with Emilia in the process.

The thought did not amuse him.

"Yes, I shall…endeavor that Rem does not act on her feelings of distrust toward Barusu."

Roswaal leaned back with a creak of the chair. His voice felt tired somehow as he murmured.

"I am deeply grateful. This is a time of great expectations… Indeed, time to put them all to the test."

Ram started to say something to him, but she closed her mouth and held her tongue. Silence descended between the two as the cool night air drifted in.

"So, Ram, shall we concluuude your report here?"

"…Yes. I apologize for not being able to convey a great deal."

"I shall not scooold you for such a thing. Now, then, shall we proceed?

After nothing for two days, you are aching rather considerably, are you nooot?"

"Ah…yes."

Ram somehow seemed bewitched as she obeyed Roswaal's beckoning finger. From her standing position before the desk, she seemed to wobble as she stepped close to Roswaal and meekly sat on his lap.

"Once again, if you will…excuse me."

"'Tis merely exercising a natural right. It is the same as always, nooothing to be embarrassed about. Your precious body does not belong to you alooone, after all?"

He stroked her cheek. She gently closed her eyes as he tilted her head up. Stroking her pink hair with his other hand, Roswaal closed one eye, gazing down upon Ram with his golden iris.

"Now, theeen, given what you are to us…we should get along nicely, yes?"

Roswaal murmured mostly to himself as his consciousness switched to a different gear. He stared at Ram before him, his consciousness sinking into Ram and Ram alone.

The first night at Roswaal Manor grew late as the suspicious conversation between master and maid came to a conclusion.

"Good morning! The weather's great today, perfect for laundry! Let's make this a happy day!"

Subaru raised a shrill hip, hip, hurrah! to welcome the arrival of the rising sun.

It was his fifth go at his second morning in Roswaal Manor.

He stood in the middle of the garden, his body bathed in morning sunlight as he twisted his upper body all about. He used the popular morning warm-up exercise to get blood circulating through his whole body, making full use of the energy he had gained from sleep.

"Yes, victory!"

Finally, he thrust both hands into the sky and shouted in triumph as he finished the start to the start of another day.

Subaru vigorously wiped away the light sweat on his brow and turned around with a smile. Emilia smiled back, albeit tersely, standing in the corner of the garden as she engaged in her daily conversation with lesser spirits under the shade of a tree.

"You really are energetic in the morning…"

"Hey, don't talk like it's all me here. Put your back into it, Emilia-tan!"

Puck, Emilia's little cat spirit, was hovering alongside her, cleaning his face with his paw.

"When I see him clean his face like that, I'm like, he's seriously a cat. I guess spirits get sleepy, too, huh? He looks half asleep there."

"You sleep when you're tired, too, don't you? When mana, the source of our vital power, fades away, well, it's close enough. If we're not getting enough mana…"

Puck yawned generously. Emilia put her hand to her mouth and yawned a little, too.

"Both up late, huh? You were staying up talking to a boy you like, weren't you? Let me in on it! Huh? Which girl do I like…? That's, ah, embarrassing to say, you see…"

Subaru folded his arms, looking down as he glanced a little at Emilia.

"All right, all right," Emilia said, waving casually at Subaru's act. "I like

Puck. Puck likes me. The end."

"Mutual love?! Is there any room for me in there?!"

"Not even a little, meow. My charm sets Lia's heart a-flutter. You might not be a bad catch, Subaru, but all that is wasted before me. You should just give up on Lia right…meow, meow!"

Subaru closed on Puck, glaring down at him with reproach, but Emilia's fingers caught one ear on each of them before they could start anything.

"Don't get carried away. I'm going to be upset if that's all you two do."

"Ow, ow, she's upset, ow!"

Subaru and Puck meekly endured Emilia's punishment together.

When Emilia let go of their ears, they both rubbed their aching heads as she stood before them, hands on her hips.

"I'm glad you two are getting along, but no taking advantage of people just so you can play. Say yes if you understand."

"Yeees."

Both of them raised a hand and nodded firmly.

Strangely, though being treated like a child should have bothered Subaru, seeing Emilia's pleasant, satisfied smile made such minor concerns irrelevant.

Emilia, not noticing that Subaru had completely fallen for her smile, abruptly clapped her hands.

"Oh, right, now is good. Subaru, sit over here for a moment?"

Emilia sat on the grass with her legs out to the side, patting the ground beside her to invite Subaru over.

"You call, I come running! What, what? The timing's good for what exactly? No matter what your request, Subaru Natsuki leaves no itch unscratched. If there's a place you can't reach, just command me to scratch it and I shall obey!"

"All I said was to sit beside me. That's a bigger reaction than I expected. What should I do?"

Unsurprisingly, Emilia made a pained smile at Subaru's fierce enthusiasm.

"Err…yesterday was your first day at work. How did it go? Did you do well?"

"Ah, yeah, failed at eighty percent of it!"

"I see; you're certainly full of confi… Eh? Failed? Eighty percent of it?"

"Er, maybe eighty's overstating it… Maybe more like six, no…seventyfive."

"That still means you flunked a lot of things…"

Emilia acted like she felt responsible somehow for Subaru's unexpectedly low rating of his own work. But she immediately lifted her face in a show of concern.

"Ah, but, hey, that meant you got twenty percent of work right on your first day, huh? That's fine; I'm sure it's all right. Be confident, now."

"Hey, you're right! It's a long road, but if I start at twenty percent, I can raise that little by little from here!"

"Don't be conceited. Reflect on it properly."

"If you're going to start sweet, why can't you end sweet?! Ah, no, it's nothing, very sorry."

Subaru, cowed by the pressure of Emilia's glare, shrank and nodded meekly.

In any case…

"I do feel like I'm eating Ram's and Rem's dust somehow. Getting twenty percent right while trying my best means that's just where I'm at, so no helping it. I'll just expect better from myself going forward."

"If you're going to be that optimistic about it, there's nothing more I can say, but…"

Upon hearing Subaru's positive declaration, Emilia tapered her lips into something that resembled a pout. The cute childlike behavior she indulged in from time to time never failed to light a fiery yearning in Subaru.

But he restrained himself, smothering the embers.

Subaru pointed at Emilia with a finger from each hand in a comical gesture.

"So, so, you see, I'm spending every day with maid sisters tutoring me while I devote myself to life as a servant. If I get tired of that life I'll just come running to Emilia-tan's lap, so leave it open, okay?"

"…I was only half listening to that, but it sounded kind of all right."

"Harsh assessment with a cute face! Well, if that half was the lap part, that's A-OK! Like I said, leave that lap open for me for tonight, Emiliatan… Don't steal my spot, Puck!"

Subaru thrust a finger at Puck, calling out his name. Puck reacted to the declaration of war with a casual flick of his own whiskers.

"It doesn't matter what you say, Lia's pact with me means her heart and body are already mine. There's no changing our relationship meow, meow!"

Emilia grabbed Puck's ears for his incorrigible behavior and tossed him into the air to make him ponder the error of his ways.

"Goodness, don't change the terms of our pact behind my back."

Maybe Puck was just used to it, for despite that, he simply landed in Emilia's hands and happily wriggled in them with a look of complete calm. Subaru couldn't help but feel envious of their relationship.

"Well, now that I've energized myself I'd better start the morning work."

"What do you mean, 'energized yourself'?"

"By teasing Emilia-tan."

"There you go again. If all you do is tease people, they won't trust anything you say when you're actually telling the truth, you know?"

"That sounds like something out of a fairy tale. If that happens, guess I'll be reaping what I sowed…"

"Wait, you're telling me that…?"

With Emilia giving him an exasperated look, Subaru sent a bright smile back her way as he rose, brushing off his backside.

"They'll be seriously ticked if I don't get going, though. I'm supposed to help them with this morning's breakfast. Emilia-tan, you don't like eating green beppers, do you? I'll make sure they're not on your plate."

"You have to eat even the veggies you don't li—When did I tell you I don't like green beppers?"

Emilia tilted her head with a questioning look as Subaru departed with a little smile and a wave.

She actually had talked to him about it; he'd even seen her distaste for them with his own eyes.

He focused on staying on the path, always joking whenever Emilia set eyes on him.

—He had to focus, focus, always focus, to keep the smile on his face.

Emilia watched Subaru wander off until he was out of sight before letting out a small sigh.

Puck, watching Subaru from her palm, abruptly looked up when he realized Emilia was now watching him.

"That's a gloomy face. What's wrong?"

"I just feel down somehow. I can't really put it into words."

Emilia cringed at the wishy-washy attempt to express her internal unease. But what caught in her throat didn't have a chance to become proper words as she sighed again.

Puck's pink nose twitched as he watched Emilia's conflict.

"You're worried about Subaru? It's not often you worry about other people like this."

"Don't go off and phrase it like I'm some sort of klutz at dealing with people. I'm not bad at getting close to others… I just haven't had many chances to do it!"

Emilia puffed out her cheeks, an expression she refused to show to anyone save Puck.

Though it looked like the act of a spoiled brat, it was a testament to Emilia's absolute faith in Puck. The spirit, fully accepting her trust, smiled up at her like she was his own daughter.

He offered a nod toward the delicate emotions Emilia couldn't put into words.

"Well, it's no surprise it's throwing you off. Because this has become a little bit of a problem."

"Bit of a…problem?"

He'd said the words in a casual manner, but Emilia's face grew tense; she couldn't miss the tone behind them.

By nature, Puck behaved exactly the same no matter how high-pressure the situation. She didn't know if it was because he was a spirit or if it was simply his personality that made him that way, but he reserved grave observations as a spirit to provide input for hard, important decisions— namely Emilia's.

Seeing Emilia's breath catch, Puck casually toyed with his whiskers. He still spoke in his peculiar manner to the end.

"I only touched him a little, but Subaru's mind is all scrambled. What he shows on the outside doesn't match the inside. At this rate, it won't be long before he reaches the end of his rope."

The high-pitched ting and the sound of pottery breaking made Ram's eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

The young manservant prancing around like a dancer—Subaru—raised his voice as he grabbed hold of a broom and dustpan.

"It's okay! It's okay! Don't worry! I've got this!"

He quickly cleaned up the ceramic fragments scattered at his feet and pretended to wipe sweat off his brow.

When he looked at Rem, who'd stared at him during the entire sequence, he flashed his teeth in a fiendish smile.

"Don't worry. I took care of it super fast, and there wasn't even one casualty."

"I think your concern is praiseworthy, but were you not the one who dropped the vase, Subaru? I need to get a replacement vase, wipe the floor, put the flowers in order…"

"No, it's all right! I can get a vase and put the flowers in myself! Go ahead and focus on your own work!"

Driving Rem off almost like he was ordering her, Subaru headed to the storage for furnishings and returned several minutes later with a proper vase. He promptly put the new vase in the same place as the old and added water and the flowers, returning things to as they were.

"Whew. Feels good to get a job done, Remrin."

"It is extra work you made for yourself, but at least you took care of it… Subaru, where did you hear where the spare vases are? From Sister?"

"Mm, ah, er… Right, your big sis! It's me we're talking about here—she was pretty sure I'd break one at some point. So she told me in advance exactly where to get a new vase!"

Listening to the clumsy excuse, Rem did not think, That is Sister for you, such foresight. She was less concerned with the vase and more with the fact that Subaru had such a grasp of the mansion's layout that he'd retrieved the broom and dustpan to clean the broken vase with, then gone to grab a spare, without any hesitation.

Rem really doubted someone working for only a day or two would do such a thing.

That said, rather than raise her suspicions…

"You all right? You're so swamped with work, go ahead and send some my way. I'll do it; I'll do anything."

…He was so friendly about it that she just couldn't put a finger on the problem.

It was not the behavior of someone bearing malice or hostility, but neither was it how a guileless person behaved. More to the point, for someone hiding something, his facade was riddled with openings.

He looked like he was genuinely trying to get used to the job and attempting to get along well with Rem and Ram.

Rem knitted her brow, looking like she was warding off the emotions bearing down on her at his earnestness.

The sight of Subaru striving so hard, even when no one acknowledged it, stirred up a throbbing ache in her chest.

"Subar—"

"Oh, I forgot the work Ramchi asked me to do! Sorry, I'd better hurry up and take care of that! I'll hook back up with you right after!"

Subaru rushed into the hallway faster than she could call out to stop him. Rem withdrew the fingers she'd reached out to him with, looking over her shoulder as if she should discuss her misgivings with her older sister, but—

"—No, it is not enough to trouble Sister over."

Rem walked toward her own work space, trying to wrap up her remaining work and reduce the lingering ache in her chest in the process.

—I feel sick.

"Oh, Ramchi! Did you see me? I'm doing pretty well with a kitchen knife after just one day learning it, huh? Maybe my talent is taking bloom!" —I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick.

"Remrin, look, look! Right now, my fingers are miraculously imbued with the skill that makes such fine workmanship possible! The power of illusion!"

—I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick.

"Meeting Emilia-tan really puts my heart in a jumble! It's too sinful! I feel so guilty!"

—I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick.

He kept a smile nailed to his face as he continued trying to sound playful. He wrestled with his entrusted tasks full force, resolutely attacking problems with no fear of failure, and when he was done, he wandered around looking for more to do.

He had to. He needed to.

He didn't have a single second to waste. It was like a video game where you simulated in your head every potential outcome to a particular event. He had to manage the event flags. That was his specialty, right? The more he encountered them, the better his odds.

—I should be able to make them smile more. I should be able to make them laugh more.

His actions were meaninglessly exaggerated. He tried to convince them he was an oblivious fool. He tried not to make them think he was useless. His head spun and spun, always weighing his actions.

Subaru constantly kept watch for anything that seemed remotely out of the ordinary. He couldn't let his guard slip for a single instant, never mind a second.

—I can't make a mistake. I just can't. I can't.

Warning bells rang without pause in his head at repeating things over and over.

Danger, danger, they announced.

He hadn't advanced an inch since reaching this other world, but he felt his sensitivity to peril, at least, had grown more acute.

"See, Ramchi? I'm not slacking off here. I'm totally doing so much work. Almost enough that my superior could just go back to her room and take a nap, you know?"

He evaded the situation with an irregular approach, casually glossing things over with a charming smile.

He wondered if he could really do it. Could Subaru Natsuki really pull this off? He hadn't given them reason to doubt him, had he? He paid ten, no, a hundred times more attention, not only in front of Ram but Rem as well.

He played Subaru Natsuki, erasing the unnatural with the natural.

It was simple. It was all up to him. He had to pay not the slightest bit of attention to what anyone living at the mansion really thought, bathing himself in innocence and lack of restraint, until he seemed like a lazy pig who took whatever was given unto him.

As far as the world was concerned, he knew nothing, could do nothing, noticed nothing, and that was all there was to him.

He continued to loiter about, wearing his charming grin like a mask.

He was inside the mansion. He didn't know who would pop out or when. His free time wasn't free. He spent all his spare time examining his past actions and forming plans for what he'd do in the hours to come.

"Wh…o…a…"

He suddenly felt the urge to throw up.

A slight moan slipped from the corner of his mouth, but Subaru's smile did not falter whatsoever.

He kept his expression steady, skipping as he walked, practically dancing his way as he slipped into the nearest guest room. And he stepped over to the room's lavatory when…

"…Blehhch. Uuogh, uuuuughnn…!"

The contents of his already-empty stomach poured out.

He vomited up every bit of the food and drink that had entered his body. That time, everything came out as sickly yellow stomach acid. And the internal pain that had made him spew it all continued to ache.

The nausea wouldn't go away. He gulped down running water until he was full, then expelled it immediately afterward. This repeated several times, his stomach heaving like it was cleaning itself out.

"Haaah…haaah…haaah…"

Subaru roughly wiped his mouth with his sleeve, his face pale and his breath ragged.

The pressure was killing him. If he kept this up without any time to rest his mind, he felt like he'd waste away and expire from that alone.

He wanted to laugh at himself for putting himself in this situation, but not even the faintest smile would form on his lips.

All that welled up from within his chest was anxiety and despair.

—Am I really pulling it off?

The time he'd gotten along with everyone best was during that first loop, when he knew nothing.

From the second loop on, he'd been so obsessed with the first loop that it caused problems in his work and personal relations. That was probably a major reason why he hadn't earned the sisters' trust.

Consequently, Subaru was using the first loop as his model this time around. That said, he'd failed in the second loop by trying to copy the first. That meant he had to do things better than the first time.

Meaning, all he had to do was put everything into any work he found in front of him and do well at it.

"But that still only gets me fifty points… Can't get a hundred if I don't figure out who the shaman is…"

Merely evading death by the sisters' hands wouldn't protect Subaru from the menace of the shaman.

On the morning of the fifth day, someone in the mansion would be crying. It might be over Subaru; it might be over Rem.

Subaru really wanted to get information on the shaman, to turn it over to the others so they could plan a counterattack, but he could not. Even if he suggested courses of action, they didn't trust him enough to act on them yet; he also couldn't divulge the source of his information.

And Subaru would get a little taste of hell if he broke the prohibition on speaking to others about Return by Death.

Pain scared him, but what terrified him even more was meeting the fingertips of that black cloud.

He had to win the others' trust and expose the shaman's identity.

Time was extremely short—enough to make him feel like the walls were closing in.

He had to do something, but he was rushing down a blind alley.

The night before, he'd been held captive by that vortex of helplessness, unable to get a wink of sleep, no answer forthcoming. He felt powerless, having well-founded reasons for his anxiety but being unable to find any solution for it.

He'd paid with his life to come back, yet there he was, an incapable fool.

"Ah, damn it… I'm being pathetic."

He couldn't fail here. His back was against the wall.

Even if it was a life he'd thrown away, a life that ought to have been over, he was afraid of losing it again.

It was his fifth time. Even Subaru wasn't optimistic enough to think he could come back again.

His spirit was in tatters from his mind continually being bashed. If he wasn't at the brink, he wouldn't have made the decision to struggle with all his might.

He simply lacked the courage. He was mediocre. Ordinary in every way.

The more he learned how small a person he truly was, the more he grew to despise himself.

"Stupid, stupid. This isn't the time to whine and cry…"

If he had time to complain, then he had time to run his frivolous mouth and make a better impression.

Shaking off his nausea, Subaru slapped his stiff cheeks in self-rebuke and headed out of the guest room.

It was free time right now, but he didn't have a moment for a break. He couldn't waste a second on rest.

He had to find where Ram and Rem had gone and— "I've finally found you."

He was putting his thoughts in order when he heard someone call to him from behind.

When he looked back, he saw Emilia standing there, breathing slightly heavily.

The instant Subaru set eyes on Emilia, his mind clicked and switched to a different gear.

He forgot all about the pain in his stomach, the ache in his chest, and the stifling feeling, turning everything toward Emilia. His cheeks bent into a smile.

"Oh, Emilia-tan calling me by name. I'm happy, embarrassed—it's so rare! Your word is my command! I will pass through fire and water for you, even loot sellers!"

Subaru shoved his emotions to the back of his mind for Emilia with a lot more verve than was necessary.

He prided himself on quick comebacks, but Emilia had a different reaction to seeing it than he had expected. He expected an exasperated look and a sigh or something, but instead…

"…Subaru…"

"Wait, now, if you're the Emilia-tan I know, you should be… Hurk! Are you an imposter?! But could someone else really copy a beautiful girl wrapped in such an adorable package?!"

His ridiculous humor invited amazement, but Emilia's reaction to even this was muted.

Defying all his expectations, Emilia looked at Subaru, her eyes filled with…pity.

—Not good, his instincts warned him.

"Eh? You've gone quiet. This isn't some sort of prank you're playing on a guy who gets carried away on tangents, right? You know, like me!" This is wrong, said a voice inside his brain, over and over.

Emilia wasn't shocked or angry; she was simply staring at Subaru with pained eyes.

—I wonder if the comedian's mask I'm wearing slipped somehow.

The instant worry wormed its way in as Subaru remembered the kitty cat always hovering by Emilia's side. That cat was also a spirit able to read the subconscious thoughts of others.

It was only then that Subaru realized that the jig was up.

The charming smile plastered onto his face vanished, replaced by a look like that of a child fearful of being scolded.

What a joke. She'd seen through him time and time again while he danced in an effort to hide it all. More than that, Emilia was the one he least wanted to know; his tiny bit of pride at pulling the wool over her eyes was destroyed.

A silence fell between them.

Subaru could no longer find words to say. Emilia looked like she was trying to find some herself, without success.

—I'm disappointing Emilia. I didn't want that to happen, above all else.

But Subaru didn't know what excuse he could form. He opened his mouth several times, stopping each time, unable to find the right words.

Seeing words fail Subaru, Emilia abruptly murmured "all right" to herself quietly before continuing.

"Subaru. Come with me."

"…Ah?"

"Just come on."

Emilia grabbed Subaru's arm, dragging him along into the guest room right beside them. A questioning look came over Subaru about going back to the room he'd just left. But Emilia left Subaru hanging as she put her hands on her hips and looked around the room. When she pointed at the floor, her voice rang like a silver bell, as always.

"All right, Subaru. Sit."

He followed her finger downward. The carpeted floor belonged to a room no one was using but was cleaned regularly nonetheless. Granted, it was soft enough to sleep on, but…

"If I'm going to be sitting, why not the bed or a chair? Why the floor specifica—"

"Just sit already!"

"Yes, with pleasure!"

Cowed by the strong tone she had never used, Subaru dove onto the floor without hesitation and sat properly on his knees. Emilia nodded, apparently satisfied, and stood right beside him.

Naturally, this left Subaru looking up at Emilia from a submissive position, but wicked thoughts never entered his mind. Instead, he was desperately trying to figure out what her intentions were.

Emilia's voice sounded quietly from her throat.

"…Okay."

She seemed to have said it for her own benefit. Emilia took a deep breath and sat right beside Subaru, kneeling just as he was.

Subaru's heart thumped at Emilia sitting within touching distance, but his sideways glance at her pale face could not tell him what she was thinking. He belatedly realized that her cheeks were flushed; even her ears were red.

"This is a special occasion, all right?"

"—Eh?"

Something pressed against the back of Subaru's head faster than he could properly voice his doubts. Already kneeling, his body offered no resistance as it bent forward—until a very soft sensation hit him.

"The position's a little awkward, and, mm…kind of prickly."

Something shifted around under his head as he heard Emilia's fairly bashful-sounding voice from right overhead.

In surprise, he looked up; the sight before him made his eyes go wide.

Right above him, Emilia's face was so close that they were almost touching. His eyes reflected a beautiful face that was inverted. Subaru belatedly grasped, Oh, I'm upside down looking up at her.

This distance, her upside-down position, the soft sensation under his head…

—Subaru mentally searched for terms to describe it and found exactly one.

"Lap…pillow?"

"It's embarrassing, so please don't say it out loud. And you're not allowed to look this way. Close your eyes."

She gave his forehead a light slap, using the palm of her hand to cover his eyes, obstructing his field of vision.

However, Subaru moved Emilia's resisting hand aside and dragged the words out.

"Emilia-tan, you're the best when you're embarrassed…but what is this?

When did I do something to earn a reward like this?"

"You don't need to put up that front right now. "

She smacked his forehead again. But this time Emilia left her hand on it, stroking Subaru's hair with her fingers. He squinted at the ticklish feeling.

"You asked me to let you rest on my lap when you were tired, didn't you, Subaru? So that's what I'm doing. It won't be like this all the time, but today's special."

"Special? Come on, it's not even the end of the second day here. My body's not weak enough to keel over from overwork that fast…"

"I can tell you're beat-up just by looking at you. You won't go into the details and tell me, will you? I don't think this'll make everything better, but…it's the only thing I can do, so…"

Her compassionate gaze made it hard to brush her off. Her fingers had parted his black hair; she began to gently stroke his forehead like he was a little boy.

Subaru burst out laughing and tried to twist away from Emilia's fingers.

He had promised himself to stay strong in front of Emilia. To say this was all a misunderstanding. To say he wouldn't do anything as unseemly and uncool as that.

"Ha-ha… Emilia-tan, you, doing that…for…me…"

Yet his voice was shrill. His throat caught, and the next words wouldn't come out.

Subaru couldn't switch mental gears when he felt her soft fingertips stroking his forehead.

"You're tired, aren't you?"

"I—I can still do…more. I'm totally…all right…"

"Have you been having trouble?"

"You're being so nice to me, I mean, I'm gonna blush. If you keep doing that, I'm…gonna… Ha-ha…"

Subaru's reply to her brief question sounded like complete lies. Even he could tell that his words sounded hollow and empty.

Then Emilia gently drew her face close to Subaru's.

"It's been hard for you, hasn't it?"

"—!"

She sounded like she pitied him. She sounded like she sympathized with him. She sounded like she cared for him.

That was all it took for Subaru's walls to collapse.

They crumbled, fell apart, and came crashing down all at once.

All the powerful emotions he'd tried to keep bottled up hadn't gone away in the slightest and came rushing out.

"It was…hard. It was really, rough. I was really, scared. I was really sad, enough that I thought I was gonna die. It hurt so much…!"

"Yeah."

"I—I tried. I really tried. I did everything I could. I desperately tried to do everything right…! I did! Really, really. I've never tried to do anything that hard before!"

"Yeah, I know."

"It's because I like it here… This place, it's precious to me…! That's why I was dying to have it back. I was afraid. I was so afraid to see that day

again…and I hated it. I hated myself for that!" He couldn't control his emotions.

The initial explosion had blown the dam wide open, a deluge of tears marring the smiling mask over his cowardly face.

The tears wouldn't stop. His nose was runny. His mouth was awash in some sort of weird liquid as Subaru's sobbing became harder to listen to with each passing moment.

It was a sorry sight: a grown man with his head on a girl's lap, bawling his eyes out. It was pathetic enough that he could die, but the warmth filling him might just kill him, too.

Emilia made gentle sounds of understanding as she listened to Subaru weep.

There was no way she actually understood what Subaru was saying. And yet, the kindness of her voice brought relief to Subaru's heart.

He didn't understand why. Maybe he just wanted it to be so.

But it was true nonetheless that Subaru felt saved by her warmth.

And so, a flood of tears flowed from Subaru as he continued to cry on Emilia's lap.

He cried, he cried, he wailed, and at some point, the sobs faded into the distance.

—The only noise that filled the guest room after that was the sound of quiet sleep.

As Subaru sank into slumber, he felt the presence of heat deep inside his chest.

Subaru knew now what that emotion was.

The throbbing in Subaru's chest had grown stronger each time he looked at Emilia, spoke with her, felt the touch of her fingertips—but he hadn't had a name for it before.

When he thought of her, his body was afflicted by the hot pangs of that troublesome illness known as love.

Once a person became aware of it, he lost all will to fight against the disease.

Subaru was no exception. After all—

No matter how much he got hurt, no matter what pain he endured, no matter how often he tasted despair, it was all to save Emilia.

Everything was so he could spend his days walking by Emilia's side.

—Even if Subaru Natsuki died again and again, that love would live on.

Emilia was gently stroking Subaru's hair as he slept when Rem arrived at the guest room.

Opening the door without a sound, Rem saw Emilia inside and opened her mouth, but she closed it when Emilia put a finger to her own lips.

"Shh."

Rem narrowed her eyes a bit, walking over as she looked at the two of them nestled close together on the floor.

"Subaru is merely asleep?"

"Yes. Hee-hee, he's like a little boy. He looks so peaceful when I stroke his head like this."

Emilia seemed to enjoy petting Subaru, as she prodded Rem for agreement. Rem replied with a quiet shake of her head.

"It seems Subaru will not be able to work any further today."

"Yeah, he gets the rest of today off. He's a very naughty boy for taking time off on his second day. When he's all better, make sure to punish him, okay?"

Emilia made a small smile and returned to toying with Subaru's head.

She appeared to have no intention of moving the sleeping Subaru to free up her legs. Rem, reading Emilia's intent, quietly looked down at Subaru, who seemed to be deeply asleep.

He looked so innocent. There was not even the slightest trace of tension on his childlike face.

It was completely different from his strained attempt at lightheartedness when last they had spoken during work. It was enough to make her earlier suspicion seem incredibly stupid.

"It is hard to think of that when you see him sleeping like this, though."

Rem seemed to be murmuring that more to herself than to Emilia as she gave Subaru's hair a light caress with her fingers.

His ignorance of the world, like an innocent babe, made Rem's lips slacken just a little.

"I will inform Sister that Subaru is of no use for today. We must reallot today's chores."

Rem left things at that, bowing politely as she turned to leave.

She started to go find her sister. Around this time, she would still be cleaning up the dining hall. There, they would rearrange their schedule for the day.

"Rem…"

Abruptly called, Rem stopped and gently turned her whole body around.

Emilia was sitting below her on the floor. In spite of that, Rem mysteriously felt a powerful pressure coming from Emilia's gaze, like Rem was the one who stood lower.

Emilia, not noticing Rem's small measure of surprise, spoke in a quiet voice.

"Subaru is a good boy."

"—"

Rem responded with a single, solemn bow.

Then, without another word, she headed to the door and left Subaru and Emilia behind in the guest room.

She mulled over Emilia's statement as she walked down the hallway.

Even Rem did not notice the slight tremble on the side of her neutral visage.

—But the faintest trace of a vile odor remained lodged in a corner of Rem's mind.

CHAPTER 2

I CRIED AND SCREAMED AND WILL CRY NO MORE

"Borrowing a girl's lap, letting her caress my head, and falling into a peaceful sleep… By itself you'd think it was awesome, but man…"

Subaru said things like that over and over, red to the tips of his ears as he plucked a bit of hair from his head.

He thought back to the scene several hours before, when he'd spectacularly laid bare his soul.

"So I was a big crybaby in front of my sweetheart, fell asleep with tears on my face and a runny nose. Plus, I had her lap to myself for hours on end… This is like a humiliation game."

He thought back to the sensation of Emilia's knees, as well as the price they had paid to convey it to him.

The spectacle had left Emilia's skirt all a mess from his runny nose. No matter what problems Subaru had been going through, this was inexcusable, even if just from a hygienic view.

Still, Emilia hadn't rocked him awake in all that time, nor did she hold it against Subaru as he earnestly apologized for dirtying her clothes.

"That's fine if it makes you feel a little better. Besides, you really don't understand, Subaru."

"Eh?"

"It's more satisfying for the other person to hear a single thank-you than a dozen apologies. I don't want you to apologize for something I wanted to offer you, so there."

The way she pressed a finger to his apologizing lips and winked at him would bowl over any man. Indeed, Subaru bowled over right on the spot.

Now that Subaru knew he loved her, everything she said and did, that included, seemed covered in glitter and gloss.

Emilia headed off to change clothes in her room. Subaru kept wandering around the mansion in a dreamy state for a little while before finally regaining his senses and clutching his head at what he'd done.

"Oh man, I've totally done it now. Emilia's the one I didn't want to look weak in front of. Is there anything more embarrassing I could've done? I seriously can't look her in the eye now!"

"…Is that what a person says when entering someone's room late at night, I wonder?"

The way Subaru pressed the middle of his thigh against the stool and writhed around it put the girl in the dress—Beatrice—in a particularly bad mood, bringing a dreadful scowl over her adorable face.

After parting ways with Emilia, Subaru had it in his head that he couldn't let anyone else see him, so his feet carried him to the archive of forbidden books, and thus beyond anyone's reach. Though, he liked tweaking the nose of the girl in charge of it, too.

"Don't say that, Beako. We're friends, right?"

"What kind of relationship do you think—Wait, what did you call me just now, I wonder?"

Beatrice raised an eyebrow with a twitch of her cheek when Subaru clapped his hands.

"Beako. I think nicknames are an indispensable way to show my friendship. You're the only one in the mansion so far who didn't like it even a little bit, though…"

He thought back to the last loop, when the loneliness and despair had been driven home.

One could even say he was cajoling her into bringing sophistry and threats at him. It was from such humble beginnings that a firm pact had been established between them.

In the end, Subaru had unilaterally severed the deal. But Beatrice had exploited the vagueness of the details to continue to protect him.

Even if Beatrice had forgotten, Subaru would never forget how he felt back then.

"—So I don't care what you think of me, I'm going to call you Beako.

It's the greatest sign of affection I can give you!"

"That does not please me whatsoever! What is with that overbearing goodwill?! Is it merely distasteful or completely disgusting, I wonder?!"

"Hey, what's with that way of talking?! I'm thanking you from the bottom of my heart here. This is no time to make fun!"

"If you're going to insist that what you said just now was not meant in jest, you and I are no longer engaged in conversation. It may look like dialogue, but it is not!"

She informed him that if conversation was supposed to be a game of catch, this was more like rugby.

He was showing considerable affection in an appropriately Subaru-like way, but that seemed to be lost on Beatrice.

"Well, I'll set that aside, but I'll still call you Beako."

"Such single-minded resolve is quite unnecessary. What would happen if I simply do not respond to that name, I wonder?" "Don't say cold things like that, Beako."

"…"

Subaru called out to Beatrice, but silently keeping her gaze lowered to her book, she made no reply. Apparently she meant what she had said earlier.

While Beatrice acted stubborn, Subaru grudgingly walked over and paced around the stool.

"What's wrong, Beako? You look glum, Beako. Are you all right, Beako? If there's something wrong, you can talk to me, Beako. Mm? What is it, Beako? We can do this, Beako. Beako, Beako!"

"I have never seen anyone as annoying as you! What is with you, I wonder?!"

Someone as thin-skinned as Beatrice was natural prey for someone born with a talent for getting on other people's nerves like Subaru. He pumped a fist, the corners of his lips twisting as Beatrice's shoulders shook in anger.

"Actually, I've got an admission to make. I'm backed into a corner and really need your help."

—He explained to the curly-haired girl the conclusion he'd formed after pathetically bawling his eyes out.

While on Emilia's lap, all the ugly feelings and tears built up inside Subaru had come pouring out. What remained were Subaru's pure personal desires.

—He loved Emilia.

He'd thought he loved her before, but now he truly knew what falling for someone meant. It was love at first sight. Just hearing her voice made his heart skip a beat. Just talking with her was so pleasant it felt like a dream.

He couldn't leave this girl who put herself in harm's way for others.

That's why I love her, he had thought, but now he sincerely understood what he'd felt. She was the first one to save Subaru when he was summoned to another world without anyone to depend on.

And, when he'd been backed into a dark alley of despair, it was she who had saved his dying heart. She'd saved both his life and his heart.

—He could no longer think of living in a world without Emilia.

He loved spending his days with Emilia at the mansion. He loved learning all sorts of things about the world. He loved Ram, who'd taken such care of him in spite of her blunt tongue. He really loved Emilia. He loved Rem, who insulted him with polite language but always showed him how to do things. He was enveloped by goodwill toward everyone living at the mansion. Subaru wanted to stay there forever.

Those overflowing feelings filled his chest to bursting.

But on the other side of that happy coin—

He loved Emilia. He despaired at lacking the power to protect her. Life at the mansion had grown stale. He didn't know where or when he'd be found out. He feared Ram, who commanded Blades of Wind that could slice his throat. He was terrified of Rem and her skull-crushing iron ball. Roswaal's disturbing madness could lead him to command the twins to eliminate Subaru without mercy. Every time he woke up, he checked whether he was still alive, and he could sense himself cracking under his own constant vigilance against despair.

These, too, were Subaru's true, indelible feelings.

Emilia had saved Subaru before the friction in his mind had roasted Subaru from the inside out.

By consoling him, Emilia had pulled his heart back from the brink.

Thinking about her filled him with life and energy. Emilia was what kept his urge to flee in check.

"In other words, E M D (Emilia-tan's Majorly Divine)!"

Beatrice responded to Subaru's declaration by acting astounded and shooting him an annoyed grimace.

"Did you say something exceedingly stupid just now, I wonder?"

"Not at all. I'm putting my top priorities back in order."

"Let us return to the topic at hand… You say you want my help? What do you mean, I wonder?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty serious about that, like enough to beg God for help. I can't think of anyone else I can go to."

In the present situation, Emilia was, of course, the member of the mansion he could place the most trust in—but she was also the most important part of Subaru's life. In other words, the absolute last thing he wanted to do was put her in danger. To Subaru, who normally prioritized his own life, Emilia's life weighed much heavier than his on the scale.

That being the case, he couldn't go to Puck for help, either, which left—

"Beako. She's actually pretty sweet. And softer than she looks."

"I don't understand your meaning, but I do sense that you are mocking me."

"That's not my intent at all… Actually, the way things are in the mansion right now, you're the only one I can rely on."

Of course, he couldn't come clean to Ram and Rem, let alone Roswaal.

Except for Emilia, Beatrice was truly the only person in the mansion who he could trust.

"Please. I'm begging you."

Subaru was kneeling on the floor before Beatrice, bowing his head as he petitioned for aid.

Subaru needed a lantern to light the way so that he could bring an end to the chain of despair.

"I need your help. I want to set everything right and protect the place where I can be happy. And that's no good if it doesn't include everyone here."

"—"

Subaru, touching his head to the floor, looked up at Beatrice after a long silence.

"…Beatrice?"

The conflict he saw in her eyes made his breath catch.

Beatrice knit her brows and bit her lip as she glared at Subaru. And yet, despite the ferocity of her gaze, she looked on the verge of tears.

"—"

She opened her mouth to speak, but her gaze wavered as she found herself unable to find the words.

Beatrice's heart had been shaken. He had to make her speak to him.

"Listen to me, Beatrice. I understand why you don't want to help me out of hand. To you, I'm a weirdo and a stranger who wandered in just the other day."

"…If you know that much, you do not need to hear it from my lips, do you?"

"You're the one who patched me up. Thank you. I know you don't know this, but I have a mountain of other things I need to thank you for. And here I am asking you for help again… It's pretty pathetic. It's a miserable sight, really, but you're the only one I have."

He laid out all his cards on the table.

It was the lowest form of begging—pushy and self-centered and with no regard for Beatrice's feelings whatsoever.

With Subaru lowering his head in nothing but earnestness, wearing sincerity on his sleeve, Beatrice made a very typical snort.

"You are a worm crawling on the ground, wailing about your own powerlessness. Do you have any pride at all, I wonder?"

"I know what's important to me. I'll bow my head ten times or a hundred times and pound the floor if that's what it takes." He was too much of a weakling to obsess over petty pride.

Subaru kept his head down as he continued to plead for her aid.

He knew it was a cowardly way of doing things. During his five loops, he'd continued to quarrel with Beatrice during their encounters along the way.

That's how he knew.

Beatrice acted like she was blowing him off, but— "You may…raise your head."

The moment the soft voice reached his ears, Subaru believed his craven request had been granted.

He was acutely aware of his own pettiness and he resented himself for his insincere behavior toward Beatrice.

But even that had been necessary to make the girl named Beatrice come to her decision.

That was how the rather simple man named Subaru Natsuki had seen it, but…

"Bea…"

"Take this, would you?"

"Bwah!"

But that miserable, heartfelt face met the merciless sole of a shoe.

Subaru was still prostrate as his head alone lifted from the floor, with his formless sound of anguish echoing around the archive.

Subaru remained in that awkward, bent-back position, making an incoherent yell as she stomped him a few more times.

"Hey…this is…!"

"You could think on it a hundred times and you would never comprehend the work I go through. No matter how many silver coins you gather, they will never equal the sacred glow of a gold coin. Do you understand, I wonder?"

"Er, if you get a few thousand silver coins they'll equal it, I'm sure. It's just a matter of comparable value, right? Or maybe you're just bad at math?"

"Will you stop looking at me like a pitiable child, I wonder?! Are those the eyes of someone who was just begging me?!"

And so, Beatrice and Subaru resumed their bickering.

It was a pointless battle that had begun for no particular reason, repeated several times across different worlds. As he continued his familiar banter with Beatrice, he thought on some level that the pathetic stubbornness inside him was pretty moronic.

"All right, then, I'll play my trump card. If you cooperate with me, I'll give you a reward of equal value, you hear?"

"Do you think the likes of me would be lured by any reward you can muster, I wonder?"

"How about this? Because I saved Emilia at the capital, I get to borrow Puck. And Puck said if I want to swap that for something else, I only need to ask… You see what I'm getting at here?"

Beatrice's expression changed. Subaru smiled unpleasantly as he brought all his negotiation skills to bear.

Now that it involved a reward, she agreed to reluctantly cooperate with Subaru.

Subaru thought it was pretty silly to settle things by offering up Puck on a silver platter. He knew the little magic user would go for it, but still…

It hadn't exactly been a warm and fuzzy process, but Subaru had finally managed to win Beatrice's cooperation.

He'd repent of pushing things on to a little girl because of his own powerlessness after all the problems were cleared up.

"…You want to know more about shamans?"

Subaru's cut-and-dry statement caused Beatrice to raise her shapely eyebrows with an air of disgust.

His top priority was to deal with the menace of the shaman's attack on the mansion without a moment to lose. A large part of why he asked Beatrice for help was so that her magic could counter the deadly curses.

Explaining as much as possible to Beatrice without getting to the heart of the matter was crucial for Subaru.

"I'll probably pay a price if I let too many cats out of the bag, so…"

When he'd tried to confess his Return by Death to Emilia, time had suddenly stopped all around Subaru as a black cloud took the shape of a hand and inflicted immense agony upon him.

Subaru's silent screams and the torture of having his heart crushed had robbed him of any notions of easy defiance.

As a result, Subaru was immensely wary of the black cloud, choosing his words very carefully as he continued to explain.

"I know there's such a thing as curses, but I don't know anything else beyond that they're different from magician and spirit stuff. I want to know more about them."

"It is rare for someone to ask about that. I wonder, does paying that bunch any heed get you anywhere?"

Like before, Beatrice's distaste toward even forming the word curse on

her lips was considerable. Back then, he'd avoided pushing deeper into the matter, but that would not be the case this time.

"Curses are magic spells that exist only to cause trouble for other people and come from some country up north, right?"

"Is it not sufficient to know that much, I wonder? Curses invade their targets like a disease, limiting their movements and robbing them of their pure life forces… A tradition in very poor taste."

"Normally I'd say it depends on how you use them, but looks like you can't use them except to hurt people, huh?" Reason enough to call these curses.

If curses were supernatural powers that existed to bring down others, the practice in his home world of putting needles into voodoo dolls probably counted. Well, not that he actually accepted the existence of the occult in that world…

Subaru sat up more, thinking about the things Beatrice had mentioned in a grave tone of voice.

"So, let me ask this… How do you defend against a curse?"

It was pretty tough to aim a counterattack at the shaman without knowing his identity. Subaru's one advantage was knowing in advance that an attack would take place. Consequently, figuring out a way to stop the shaman's attack in its tracks was a wonderful idea…in theory.

"You do not."

"—Eh?"

"No means exist to defend against a curse once it is activated. Once activated, you are finished. Isn't that what a curse is, I wonder?"

"I-isn't there any kind of Instant Death Resist…?!"

In a video game, you dealt with Lv. 1 Death type spells by casting Instant Death Resist in advance.

With the light at the end of the tunnel growing ever distant, Subaru pulled his hair, his brain on fire as it tried to come up with a new plan. He'd underestimated the situation. That reality sent Subaru's mind into free fall. "—However, that is limited to curses that have activated."

"—Huh?"

The words spoken to Subaru a moment later made his eyes go wide.

Beatrice grinned with what seemed to be great delight.

She got me good, thought Subaru as the look on her face confirmed it;

all he could do was open and close his mouth like a flounder in a mix of surprise and anger.

"Just as I said, there is no way to defend against a curse once it has been activated. However, an un-activated curse can be blocked. It simply requires a cleansing rite prior to activation, so anyone with the requisite skill would find removing it rather simple."

"I'll save getting angry for later… So, who can do that?"

"In this mansion, there's me, and of course Puckie. Beyond that, Roswaal and…the three little girls do not have the requisite experience, so no. Oh, and of course you cannot."

"I know that one only too well…"

He'd gone through hell because of his lack of resistance, not once but twice.

Subaru put aside his unpleasant memories as he raised a hand and asked Beatrice a question.

"So how would you know to use a rite before a curse activates?"

"Powerful curses place a commensurate burden upon the body. Perhaps magic and curses share that in common? The side effects of a curse are

considerable. Could I say that they are deeply flawed, I wonder?"

"So…is there something you can do in advance to protect yourself?"

Subaru asked his question like he was hanging from a thread. In response, Beatrice closed her eyes for a while, licking her lips.

"Though it depends upon the specific details…there is an iron rule for curses."

"An iron…rule?"

With bated breath, Subaru prodded Beatrice to continue from where she'd left off.

And so she did.

"—Physical contact with the target. An absolute prerequisite, I wonder?"

" "

Subaru's brain spun round and round the instant that detail entered his skull.

The caster of a curse needed to touch his target. In other words, both times Subaru had suffered from the effects of the curse, he had made physical contact with the shaman beforehand. That narrowed the possibilities to—

"If it's no one here at the mansion, then…it's gotta be the village…"

Subaru had walked to the village both times he'd undergone Return by Death from suffering the effects of witchcraft.

When he thought about it more, he'd gone to the village midway through the fourth day both times.

At the village, the shaman had performed the rite for the curse, and that curse activated that night at the mansion—resulting in his death. That had been the pattern.

The shaman being at the village would explain why Rem had fallen prey to the curse during the last loop. That time, Subaru had never gone to the village, so Rem became the shaman's target instead. If Ram had gone, she would've been the target; if Subaru had gone there with her, no doubt he would've been the target again.

It connected. It connected everything.

The shaman was in Earlham Village. It was unclear whether the shaman was a resident or a visitor. If he was the latter, finding him wouldn't be all that hard. It was a village with a small population. A stranger's face immediately became known to all, just like Subaru's had. If the former, it'd have been a carefully premeditated crime, but…

"That doesn't seem likely."

In the prior incident, someone tried to throw a monkey wrench into Emilia's royal candidacy. But that candidacy didn't exist before the royal family suddenly died out only half a year beforehand. Emilia's name popping up on the candidate list probably took time, so that meant only three or four months to prepare at absolute most. A shaman would have had to infiltrate the village years beforehand to be considered a native.

"So the shaman's an outsider. Finding him won't be all that hard, either…"

Subaru voiced his thoughts out loud as he began to search for holes in his logic. It wasn't a bad idea to raise a hypothesis, even if you amended it as you went along.

As far as the shaman was concerned, he hadn't actually done anything yet. Short of his opponent being God or the Devil himself, it was impossible for his existence to be exposed as of yet.

Subaru mulled over the fact that he was still on the night of the second day. He had a long grace period before things were due to take a turn for the worse on the fourth.

In other words, it meant he could do his own preemptive strike on the shaman.

"I've got you by the tail now, damn it. I didn't die twice at your hands for nothing!"

Subaru, finally able to see his situation brightening, clenched a fist as his voice quivered with joy.

While Subaru delighted in the change in circumstances, Beatrice looked quite dissatisfied at having been dropped from the conversation. Her lovely cheeks reddened to emphasize the sourness of her gaze.

"What is that attitude in front of someone you asked for aid, I wonder? If what I spoke was of service, I think you should say as much to my face."

"Yeah, you're right! You saved my bacon; I can see the light thanks to you! I love you, Beako!"

"Wha—?!"

Subaru leaped over to Beatrice, picking up her very light body and twirling all around with her on the spot.

Despite her elaborate dress, the girl's body was as light as a feather.

Subaru's spinning increased in synergy with the buoyancy of his mood. "Let g—Would you put me down, I wonder?!"

"Ha-ha-ha, I could just fly in the sky right now! Nah, how 'bout we fly together, Beako?!"

"Fly all by your lonesome—!"

"Bwah?!"

She released magical energy from right above him, slamming him hard enough to make him do a full leg split on the floor. The impact he felt on the top of his skull transferred to the rest of his body. Subaru's internal mana was all a jumble. His eyes were spinning as he continued to rest on his butt.

For her part, Beatrice landed with an elegant flutter of the hem of her skirt, turning her head and sending a snort Subaru's way.

"Do you see what happens when you get carried away with frivolity, I wonder?"

"That's not the only thing I saw. They're white!"

"—. —?! Take this, would you?!"

"Brfhh!"

Subaru took the second shot right between the eyes, sending him flying into a corner of the archive like a rag doll. He rolled head over heels before slamming into a bookshelf, bringing heavy books down upon his head.

He crawled his way out of the mountain of books, tears in his eyes from the many bumps and bruises.

"The friendship gauge goes down just a little and I get this?! If you're not happy with something, just say it, geez!"

"Being picked up like a little child, spun around in midair, having my panties seen, you speaking superficially lovey-dovey words, all of it! Is your entire existence a nuisance, I wonder?!"

"Hey, don't put down my existence; that's really sad stuff! I'm trying not to be a masochist here!"

Subaru hoped to find ways to improve himself, just like he'd found a chance to improve his circumstances.

Just because I'm powerless doesn't mean I have to be helpless, too, Subaru thought, nodding at his own internal rebuke.

"Anyway, the situation's a lot better than it was. It'll be hard waiting out the night, but tomorrow I'm heading to the village."

Let's find out who this shaman really is, he thought.

That'd probably mean going with either Ram or Rem. Considering they both had combat strength, it was a natural choice in case he ended up duking it out with the shaman then and there. If he could get rid of the vile shaman and raise his friendship gauge with both girls in the process, that'd be the grand finale bringing his first week at Roswaal Manor to a successful conclusion.

"Now that I think back on it, I sure went through a lot…"

He knew it was speaking too soon, but it was a light at the end of the tunnel even so. Surely no one could blame Subaru for feeling that way.

Shouldn't you be thinking of something else? he wondered. Looking up meant missing that which was right at his feet, didn't it? Subaru, a man of

little nerve and much wariness, suddenly remembered…

"The scent…of the witch…"

"What do you mean, I wonder?"

"Right, the witch. Rem mentioned her. You did, too, Beako."

The moment the word witch formed on his lips, he remembered the various places he had encountered it. The witch was often treated as an abominable being by the residents of that world, but Subaru's only clue as to why was the broad outline given in the children's story "The Witch of Jealousy." That really bothered him all of a sudden.

After all, the road traveled by Subaru Natsuki had been peppered by references to her.

Subaru lifted up his face and looked at Beatrice, who was knitting her eyebrows.

He wasn't sure she'd even answer the question he was about to ask. It was grave enough that Ram had refused to answer it entirely, while Rem had used it as one of her justifications for attacking him.

He felt that even Emilia strongly resisted the topic.

"Beako, you know about the witch, right?"

"—"

The reply didn't come immediately. The word thrumming in her ears made Beatrice close her eyes, sinking into silence as if making sure she'd heard correctly. Her reaction left Subaru with no option beyond trying to keep calm and waiting.

When she suddenly murmured the words, Subaru's breath caught as his eyes went wide.

"She who drinks the world itself. Queen of the Castle of Shadows. The greatest of all disasters—the Witch of Jealousy."

Upon seeing Subaru's reaction, Beatrice let out a gloomy sigh.

"In this world, there is only one being indicated by the word witch. Should I add, it is even considered taboo to speak her name aloud, I wonder?"

"So everyone's in awe and fear of her, and no one defies her?"

"Yes, precisely. Rather, why would you even ask if I know her, I wonder? In this world, aren't the names you know best those of your parents, then other family, and finally, the name of the witch, I wonder?" "Oh, come on…"

Subaru tried to poke fun, but he swallowed his words when Beatrice's expression made plain that she wasn't the slightest bit joking.

And if she was serious, that meant the witch was an unparalleled darkness in the world.

"The Witch of Jealousy, 'Satella.' She consumed the great sinners of yore known as the Six Witches, swallowing up half the world in the process, the vilest of all calamities."

Beatrice's words, spoken with emotions suppressed, brought a short, hard breath out of Subaru.

The name, one he'd heard before, bore much more gravity in the context of the rest.

"It is said that the witch desires love. It is said she does not comprehend human speech. It is said she envies everything in this world. That none have seen her face and lived. That her body is untouched by the ravages of time, unable to grow old or decay. That the Dragon, the Hero, and the Sage combined their power to seal her away, because even they could not hope to destroy her."

Beatrice spoke point by point, not allowing Subaru to get a word in.

"It is said…"

Finally, as if reaching the end of her tale, she paused after her preamble and said,

"…she is a half-elf with silver hair."

—Satella, the Witch of Jealousy.

The Six Witches had made the world scream, but this witch wiped them out in one fell swoop, ushering in a calamity that destroyed half the world.

A hero had sealed her flesh within a crystal, where she continued to sleep, even then, in some corner of the world.

That's an absurd story, Subaru's sensibilities as a child of modernity made him think.

Crimes so vile that people spoke of them centuries afterward were already bad enough, but the fact that the perpetrator continued to exist, sealed away somewhere out there, would be unthinkable in his world.

Subaru began to cite a rather extreme example as he sat cross-legged with his chin on a palm, watching a corner of the garden.

"Well, I can't really go by that. Even if people don't know the name of their own prime minister, they know the name of, say, the nation's most popular idol group…"

It was morning as Emilia sat on the grass of the inner garden, conversing with the flickering lights surrounding her.

The scene never lost its mysterious, surreal air no matter how many times he set eyes on it. Seeing Emilia like this every day was one of the most beautiful sights that world had to offer.

Subaru was watching at a distance so as not to interfere with Emilia's conversation. He was still wearing his servant's outfit as he suppressed a yawn, letting out a long breath as he sank into a sea of contemplation once more.

It was now the morning of the third day, for night and sunrise had passed since his conversation with Beatrice in the archive of forbidden books.

As the night had crept toward morning, Beatrice had suddenly scowled.

"I suppose my skin shall be compromised if I do not get my beauty sleep. Staying up late like this is quite a bother."

After being roughly evicted from the archive, Subaru managed to get in a morning bath before meeting up with Emilia in the garden. The sight of her so diligently carrying out her daily routine made him clench a fist with renewed determination.

A gray fur ball—in other words, Puck—popped his face up in front of Subaru's eyes and called out to him.

"Well you seem to be doing better now."

Puck continued to hover in the air as he began grooming his face with his short paws like any normal cat. He continued, "To be honest, you were

not much to look at yesterday. I'm a little relieved."

"That so? Sorry to make you worry. But my naive heart still isn't completely over everything, so I want the feel of your fur to comfort me.

Ahhh…"

"Well, if you can bluff like that I suppose you're fine. Lia did lend you her lap and everything."

Subaru's fingers wrapped around the palm-size cat and, searching for something beyond even the surprising sensation of his ears, arrived at Puck's tail. From base to tip, the feel of it was beyond even Subaru's expectations, making his breath catch.

Subaru savored the supremely comfortable touch in his hand as his eyes met Puck's.

"Did you see the lap pillow, too, by any chance?"

"Only because she did it for so long. It was quite difficult to stay kneeling in that position for hours, and I offered to take over several times, but… Relax, Lia saw it through to the very end."

Puck's metaphorical seal of approval abruptly made Subaru, still shy about the awakening of his love, red in the face.

Puck nodded at Subaru's schoolboy reaction. And then— "Ei!"

"Ow—! Why did you just scratch me?!"

"You had an explosion of complex feelings of affection for my daughter.

Maybe I ought to explode you?"

"You ought not!! That daddy mind-set's a complicated thing, geez!"

Puck's "explosion" of fatherly concern threatened to put distance between Subaru and Emilia. Subaru plaintively bowed his head before Puck, somehow managing to keep the situation in check. When this process was finished and he glanced back at Emilia, he saw that she seemed to still be immersed in conversation with the spirits, never noticing the comedy routine between man and beast that had ruptured the calm of the morning.

Subaru watched the side of her face, gazing at the gentle, charming smile so beautiful that you could drown in it, when he abruptly murmured to himself.

"—A silver-haired half-elf, huh?"

It was one of the things Beatrice had said about the Witch of Jealousy.

The witch had shaken the world to its core, and even now, her name was synonymous with terror. He wondered how great a burden it must be to have similarities with such a being.

Even Subaru, who had never felt hardships like this, could imagine it was no easy road to travel. And yet, Emilia had been raised to be an honest, benevolent person… No doubt in the hope that she would live as a lovely, untainted flower.

"Either she grew up in a real friendly environment, or…"

Puck looked back and smiled, one paw on his hip, the other toying with his whiskers.

"Or maybe she was raised by a good father. Mm-hmm."

The cat could read his emotions. He'd no doubt discerned Subaru's thoughts to work out the context of the soliloquy from a moment before.

"Well, to a large extent she was just born that way. Not to harp on it, but that girl had a much, much harder time than you can imagine. It's adorable how she's like this in spite of it all, though."

As Puck squinted, the thought of contradicting him never crossed Subaru's mind.

The plain fact was that Subaru didn't know anything about Emilia, while Puck had spent an enormity of time with her. Subaru's knowledge of how hard it'd been for her barely scratched the surface.

Puck was driving home that Subaru had no right to act like he knew.

Men were helpless in the hands of Fate. Subaru knew that powerlessness all too well.

"Hey, Puck, do you know about the Witch of Jealousy?"

"There is little that I do not know."

"Okay, I wanted to ask you this… Under what circumstances would you use the Witch of Jealousy's name as an alias? Wait, alias doesn't sound very nice; it's more like…borrowing the Witch of Jealousy's name temporarily."

The back of his mind recalled an occurrence in the midst of the loop in the royal capital on the first day of his summons.

In the very, very first loop, Emilia had called herself "Satella" to Subaru, who knew nothing at all at that point.

Subaru had vaguely guessed what she must've been thinking, but he wanted a second opinion on the matter. There was no one better than the person who knew Emilia best.

Not knowing Subaru's intentions, Puck swayed his tail and inclined his head a bit.

"I think that would be a reckless thing to do. There are still many people with undiluted hate toward the witch, with fear and despair still carved into their souls. A person would have to be soft in the head to use the name of the witch as an alias around people like that."

"I'll take that as a 'never.'"

"Meow meow?"

Puck made a skeptical sound as Subaru poked him with a finger. Subaru then snapped his fingers, for Puck's support for his hypothesis made him put aside his own doubts.

In this world, using the name of the witch as an alias would obviously be insane. It was only Subaru, there by chance without the slightest clue about what passed for common sense, who would think it was normal. So why would Emilia, who certainly knew better, claim the name of the witch as her own?

"So she was trying to creep out a weirdo to keep him out of this royal selection business…"

She had tried to protect him, a boy she had met only in passing.

Emilia's thoughts behind claiming the alias had already vanished into another dimension. Only Subaru knew she had ever done such a thing. And Subaru would never have the chance to ask her what she truly intended by it.

But he couldn't help but imagine that that was what it meant. All he could do was believe.

Subaru, struck by the tenderness of that Emilia in another dimension, was caught off guard as the current one sat next to him with a strained smile.

"That's quite the distant look you have. What's wrong?"

He could no longer see the flickering lights frolicking around Emilia, so her pleasant conversation with them seemed over. Puck, having waited off to the side with Subaru until then, landed on her narrow shoulder to replace them.

"Back in my proper place. Ahh, this is where I'm most at ease. Home sweet home."

"Oh, so now you're Daddy back home from a trip, are you? Poor you, driving home all tired like that."

"That's because my eyes were wide open protecting my daughter from a wolf's poison fangs. Those poison fangs won't come near her, you see?"

"Hey, don't stare at me and talk about 'poison fangs'—twice! You'll ruin my reputation here."

Subaru forced a smile as Puck's big black eyes beheld him. Playing with the little cat like this meant he was kicking down the road a bit one of his opportunities to speak with Emilia, even though she was right there.

It wasn't that he hated talking to Emilia. He just couldn't look her in the eye. After all, he'd bawled his eyes out on her lap and spent untold hours with her stroking his head. It'd been only a single night since then; he didn't know how he could face her.

That he had gone to meet her even so proved only that Subaru had a severe case of Emilia poisoning.

Faced with Subaru's extreme confusion, Emilia hesitated, too, running an unhurried finger through her long silver hair. After a brief silence, Emilia made a determined breath and smiled.

"Err, this is a little embarrassing… Are you feeling all right?"

"I was in a tight spot until I heard Emilia-tan's voice. And, er, also, sorr

—"

Chapter 25 - x