[Server Chat Log]
[Zhuge Liang: The light screen follows me, projecting no more than five chi above the ground.
Li Shimin: The light screen follows the scroll in my hand. I set it in the corner and it fills the whole wall.
Zhu Yuanzhang: I moved the screen from the court hall to block the wind for the Empress. She noticed this thing first. You call it the light screen?]
Zhao Kuangyin looked up at the glowing screen above his head and rubbed his sore neck. For a moment, he did not know whether to laugh or curse.
Before this, he had assumed everyone was dealing with the same situation.
Only now did he realize that the men of Han and Tang, and even the Hongwu Emperor he had only just learned of, could watch the screen sitting or reclining.
Only he had to crane his neck upward like a fool.
If he wanted to complain… there was no one to complain to.
This thing clearly was not controlled by that young man whose name had been spreading everywhere.
With a sigh, he saw the screen light up again. The "post-episode discussion" period was obviously over.
Zhao Kuangyin straightened his expression… then simply leaned back in his chair and lay there, ready to see how later generations judged this matter.
---
[Lightscreen]
[Hello hello, thanks for waiting, folks~
Old viewers already know this segment well, so we won't waste time.
But first, good luck to everyone taking the gaokao soon. May you all get into your dream universities~
For today's three items, I personally like all of them a lot, so this time we're not doing a short clip. I recorded a full vlog unboxing.
After making history videos for so long, even though I keep joking that I'm illiterate, I can recognize most things now.
If I mess anything up, feel free to correct me in the comments. Everyone knows the uploader's a history illiterate anyway.
Alright then, buckle up. Beep beep, we're rolling!]
---
The Ming emperor noticed that the object the Han and Tang figures called the light screen had changed again.
The image narrowed, with large black margins on both sides.
In the center, a pair of hands gestured constantly while the young man spoke.
"This lad's hands are even whiter and softer than my sister's,"
Zhu Yuanzhang muttered.
He tried writing on the surface again, but this time there was no response.
Unlike earlier, when writing had met a strange resistance while he spoke with the Martial Marquis and the Tang emperor, now the brush simply passed straight through the image and struck the screen behind it.
He understood at once. The strange object's communication time had ended.
But what exactly was this new display?
And this gaokao… was that some form of imperial examination?
Meanwhile, the young man inside the so-called vlog moved quickly.
He casually chatted while putting on a pair of delicate gloves.
---
[Lightscreen]
[Feels like this segment is turning into an antiques appraisal show, so let's take it seriously today.
First up, our number-one treasure. A painting.
I recognized it instantly from the signature.
This is clearly an authentic work by Zhuge Liang of the Han dynasty. Must be a family heirloom.]
---
Zhu Yuanzhang watched as the young man finished putting on gloves, then carefully unrolled a painting.
The composition was simple.
On the left stood Tong Pass. On its walls stood advisers and generals in varied dress.
At their front, a leader pointed forward with his sword, heroic and resolute.
The sword tip pointed toward a roughly drawn rising sun.
Below stretched an endless column of soldiers.
Horsemen.
Standard bearers.
Supply carts.
Artillery being dragged along…
…wait.
Artillery?
Zhu Yuanzhang felt something here was deeply wrong.
---
[Lightscreen]
[Alright, folks, you can see that in Master Zhuge's painting, every hero atop Tong Pass looks magnificent.
And the marching troops below are organized very professionally.
There's cavalry, shield infantry, logistics, and even artillery.
If this illiterate uploader has to nitpick, the only problem is they're marching in the wrong direction.
With peacekeeping artillery like that, why bother fighting Cao Cao? Just march west, conquer Olympus, and capture Athena alive.
Yep, the name "peacekeeping cannon" is written clearly in Zhuge's inscription.
He says the gunpowder was developed at the risk of his beloved disciple Jiang Wei's life, hoping the cannon would bring peace and stability to the Han realm. Hence, peacekeeping cannon.
If you ask me, the only flaw is the name's too plain.
Should've called it the Great Han Divine Peacekeeping Heavenly Might Cannon. Change the name and the power probably jumps five percent.]
---
Floating comments drifted across the screen, though none from the Martial Marquis, Zhang Fei, or the Tang emperor this time.
[Server Chat Log]
[IronMode: LOL, Jiang Wei didn't major in National Defense, he majored in Chemistry!
LastStrike: Martial arts can't save the Han for real. I have one thing that can restore the Han Dynasty
SteelFlow: To be fair, the Ming Dynasty really did have artillery. But they needed math to fix the accuracy... wait, Ming Taizu (Zhu Yuanzhang) abolished the math curriculum. We're screwed.]
---
Math… calculation studies?
Before Zhu Yuanzhang could finish pondering, the young man spoke rapidly again.
---
[Lightscreen]
[Alright then, let's thank our painter Zhuge Liang from the nineteenth year of Jian'an for leaving us this precious scene of Han forces attacking the traitor Cao.
Let's all wish Chancellor Cao good luck. Hope he leaves a whole corpse behind.
Next item.]
---
The painting was carefully rolled up and taken away.
The next object that appeared made Zhu Yuanzhang blink in recognition.
"That's a fish tally, isn't it?"
The young man on the screen spoke immediately, as if he had heard him.
---
[Lightscreen]
[Correct. Some of you probably recognized it already. This is a gold fish tally.
Its function's basically the same as Han tally tokens. Identity verification, travel authorization, that sort of thing.
This thing became popular in the Tang.
There's a theory that Li Yuan chose the fish tally because the Tang imperial surname Li sounds like carp.
But based on existing research, fish tallies actually started in the Sui dynasty. Tang just inherited the system.
Later, since Li Yuan's grandfather was named Li Hu, they abolished tiger tallies and switched everything to fish tallies.
Honestly, you ancient people had way too many taboos.
If you're going to avoid the word tiger, why not just make tigers extinct?
Thank goodness the Ming is long gone. Otherwise, if a modern girl called her boyfriend a 'Big Pig's Trotter' (slang for a jerk), the Jinyiwei (Secret Police) would probably drop from the ceiling and arrest her entire family because the Emperor's surname is Zhu (sounds like 'Pig')."
And later you Tang people elevated Laozi to ancestor status. Why didn't you think to taboo his name too?]
---
Zhu Yuanzhang sucked in a breath.
The boy's speech was so fast it almost left him dizzy.
But he absolutely refused to accept the accusation.
"I, the Hongwu Emperor, am a wise ruler!"
"How could I trouble the common people over such trivial matters!"
"If I were that foolish, why not just ban pig-raising entirely and wipe pigs out?"
"…But what office is this Jinyiwei?"
Fortunately, the floating comments included some voices of reason.
[Server Chat Log]
[StillStanding: Relax, Old Zhu wasn't that ridiculous.
ReadyForWar: +1 if Ming really did that Jinyiwei would die from overwork
NoStepBack: If that happened Journey to the West would be banned first
Unshaken: Don't blame people for thinking that. The 'Leopard Room' Emperor (Zhengde) actually did issue a pig-raising ban. It was ridiculous.
NoEasyWin: Sounds fake but since it's a Ming emperor… yeah believable]
---
"There really was someone who did that?"
Zhu Yuanzhang ground his teeth.
"No wonder Ming fell after only a few centuries."
"Did those descendants forget how I founded this realm?"
"This must be written into the Ancestral Instructions as a warning!"
The Empress opened her mouth, then stopped herself.