"Let me tell you something—Madara had a bad habit. If someone stood behind him, he couldn't even pee properly."
"And his stone-skipping skills were worse than mine."
"And that smile of his? Scary as hell. He scared village kids into crying."
"…"
"Hahahaha!"
The First Hokage seemed to have gone a very long time without talking about Uchiha Madara. Once he started, the words just kept pouring out.
He unloaded story after story from their childhood—everything about growing up with Madara. Uchiha Nan listened with great interest.
What the anime showed was only the tip of the iceberg of their legendary lives. Hearing it directly from the person involved was far more entertaining.
Nan even learned some little-known gossip about Madara.
For example: once, the two of them went to a restaurant together. Each thought the other was paying, so neither brought money. The owner thought they were trying to dine and dash and detained them, forcing them to wash dishes for an entire day to pay off the meal.
And then there was Madara's first love.
That was big news.
For someone like Madara, romance gossip was gold. Nan immediately scooted closer to Hashirama, eyes gleaming, urging him to tell more. Just what kind of girl could make Madara's heart flutter?
Hashirama didn't know the details either. He only remembered that Madara had quietly said he was going to confess, then mocked Hashirama for being single—claiming he was destined to be lonely forever.
The outcome was exactly what you'd expect.
The girl told Madara that she only saw him as an older brother, and that his confession made her uncomfortable.
"Madara was depressed for quite a while after that," Hashirama said, laughing.
"I was the one who stayed with him and helped him get over the heartbreak."
"Hahahaha!"
Hashirama laughed again, clearly amused by the memory.
A best friend's failed confession was tragic—but if the confession succeeded, then he would've been the one mocked as the eternal single dog. Better the friend suffer than yourself.
"I remember when I married Mito, Madara secretly came to see me once," Hashirama continued.
"He looked really unhappy—clearly not convinced—but he still gave me a wedding gift. I heard he saved up for a whole month."
Hashirama reminisced endlessly about everything between himself and Madara. Nan listened quietly, occasionally chiming in. Against Hashirama, Madara usually ended up embarrassing himself—and Nan found those stories especially fascinating.
Hashirama was more than happy to satisfy his junior's curiosity, freely sharing Madara's youthful blunders.
After one or two hours, Hashirama finally seemed satisfied.
"Alright, it's about time. I should return to the Pure Land," he said with a smile.
"Thank you, Third Hokage. I had a great night."
"Please give my regards to Mito."
Now you remember your wife? Nan thought.
I was starting to think you'd forgotten her entirely.
Nan nodded anyway, though he couldn't help but complain inwardly.
"And Touma, and Tsunade too."
"Oh, right—make sure you remind Tsunade to stop gambling," Hashirama added seriously.
"If she keeps this up, she'll never get married. Gambling addicts never end well. You absolutely have to tell her that."
At this point, Hashirama couldn't help but regret ever teaching Tsunade how to throw dice.
She had terrifying talent for gambling—understood every rule instantly—but her luck was even more monstrous. She had reached the point of losing every single bet.
And when she lost, she went completely berserk. Only Mito could keep her in check.
Hashirama sighed inwardly. He truly pitied whatever poor soul would marry Tsunade in the future. As her grandfather, he could only silently mourn for that man—please don't go bankrupt because of your wife's gambling.
Nan nodded in firm agreement.
"Gamblers deserve what they get," he thought.
Future Tsunade probably blew through her entire fortune already. If she weren't so absurdly strong, she might've been sold to a brothel to pay off debts.
"Konoha is in your hands now, Third Hokage!"
Hashirama looked at Nan with expectation.
After this brief exchange, Hashirama's impression of Nan was excellent. He truly seemed like someone worthy of the Hokage title.
"Don't worry, First Hokage-sama," Nan replied solemnly.
"Konoha will become even stronger under my leadership."
After bidding Hashirama farewell, Nan cut off his consciousness—but he did not release the Edo Tensei.
He still had an experiment in mind.
Long-Term Quest: Defeat Senju Hashirama Head-On
Nan glanced at the quest.
Right now, Hashirama was so weak he was practically a genin.
"First Hokage—attack me with everything you've got!"
Nan issued the command.
Hashirama charged forward—but in the very next instant, Nan's Lightning Release blasted him into ash. Moments later, Hashirama reformed from the ashes.
However—
There was no system notification.
No quest completion.
"So that kind of loophole doesn't work, huh…"
Nan sighed.
It seemed he would need to Edo Tensei Hashirama at a level much closer to his prime, then defeat him properly, to complete the quest.
Still, Nan wasn't too disappointed. He hadn't expected such an obvious exploit to work anyway—this was just a test.
Failing was fine. If it had succeeded, that would've been pure profit.
The system really didn't leave any holes to exploit.
"Damn system. Absolutely heartless."
Nan cursed under his breath, then turned toward the small side room and dragged out the unconscious prisoner.
Hashirama had only been the appetizer.
Now came the real main course.
Nan steadied his breathing and prepared himself.
Edo Tensei: Senju Tobirama.
This one was dangerous.
A man who would fight Nan to the death at the slightest disagreement. Carelessness was not an option.
Nan carefully checked the ritual markings on the floor, ensuring there would be no mishaps. He had to keep absolute control over Tobirama after the summoning.
He also double-checked the seals in the chamber.
This was a core Uchiha secret vault, filled with the clan's most important documents. The Uchiha were always meticulous—layer upon layer of sealing techniques covered the room, including specialized seals designed to counter space–time ninjutsu.
Nan was fairly certain these were meant specifically for Tobirama.
They were clearly terrified that he might teleport in and empty the clan's entire vault in one go.
Once everything was confirmed, Nan formed the hand seals and activated Edo Tensei.
The unconscious prisoner passed on peacefully, feeling little pain before turning into a heap of ashen soil.
"Rise again—my Tobirama!"
Nan shouted.
From the pile of Edo soil, Senju Tobirama emerged.
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