It may be a bit late to point this out, but Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is not only a place to study magic. It is also where healthy boys and girls spend most of their adolescence.
Naturally, around the ages of twelve or thirteen, it is also the time when they start taking an interest in romance between the sexes and begin looking into various kinds of sexual knowledge.
However, Hogwarts has no classes equivalent to health or physical education like those in Muggle schools, and the library does not carry books on such topics either.Is it not a serious problem that supply is clearly failing to meet market demand?
"That is what I think, anyway. What do you all say?"
Late at night in Hogwarts, inside the Ravenclaw common room, which any student can enter if they can solve the riddle, there was a beautiful profile illuminated by the fireplace flames. Yes, that was me.
And besides myself, there were about three people who were not supposed to be in the Ravenclaw common room in the first place.
"Hey, George. Looks like we've found a genius kid."
"Yeah. You think so too, Lee, right?"
"I'm ashamed of myself for not noticing until now."
As Ravenclaw students cautiously kept their distance, the four of us, myself, the Weasley twins, and their troublesome friend Lee Jordan, looked at one another.
"So, are we doing this?"
"Of course we are!"
We bumped fists with one another and loudly proclaimed our shared oath.
For the greater good.
One week later, when I quietly slipped into the boys' dormitory, I heard hushed voices coming from Draco's room.
"So, Draco, which girl's your type?"
"Zabini, you idiot…"
Responding to Zabini's excited voice was Draco's voice, mixed with exasperation and embarrassment.
"Don't tell anyone, absolutely anyone. If Father found out I spent my allowance on this…"
"Yeah, yeah, got it. I bought it, you just happened to see it. So, who's your type?"
After a brief pause, Draco said, "If I had to say," drawing it out deliberately, and then Zabini's voice burst out in excitement.
"No way! That's your type?"
"Keep it down! I don't like anything vulgar."
"Sure, her face might be pretty, but she's got nothing where it counts."
Hmm. It seemed Draco and the others had completely fallen into my trap.
"Hey."
A voice suddenly came from behind.
"Elaina, I don't think this kind of thing is good."
"Then, Pansy, why don't you just go back?"
"Yeah, no way I'm missing something this fun."
"You're curious about what kind of girls boys like too, aren't you, Pansy?"
"W-What?!"
At some point, a pug-faced girl pressed right up against my back, a fluffy-headed blonde, and a well-built brown-haired girl were all standing there, listening intently outside the boys' bedroom door while whispering their thoughts.
"Boys are the worst! Such an unhealthy book, and it's a Muggle adult magazine at that…"
"What's the problem? A boy who has no interest in that stuff at this age feels way more suspicious."
"Millicent is right. If, during adolescence, they get obsessed with political ideologies or dark magic instead of sports or romance, they'll definitely grow up twisted."
Beyond the door, which had been quietly opened with an unlocking spell, were Draco, Zabini, Nott, Crabbe, and Goyle, all staring intently at a magazine.
It was originally a Muggle magazine, but magic had been cast on it so the women in the gravure spreads struck sexy poses, blew kisses, and gradually removed their clothes. In other words, it was definitely a magazine minors were not supposed to see.
No matter how much they talk about pure-blood pride, in the end they were just boys in the peak of adolescence. There was no way they could betray the hot passions surging within them.
In the more conservative wizarding world, there are hardly any magazines like this. They are not completely nonexistent, but they are extremely restrained compared to Muggle ones. Because of that, it was only a matter of time before boys Draco's age became completely hooked.
"That's why I'm telling you, those model types just feel bony when you actually hold them."
"I think there's something nice about just admiring them."
"No, no, trust me and try burying your face in some thick thighs or a full chest just once. You'll see stars."
"Cut it out with the graphic stuff. Isn't the face more important than the body anyway? That's what really matters in looks."
From behind us, I thought I heard Pansy mutter, "So it really is the face…"
"Such an honor student answer. By the way, what about you, Nott?"
"Legs, obviously. Long, slender ones. I want them to step on me."
"Yeah, Nott does seem like the type who'd like Prefect Farley."
"I want to be casually toyed with by an experienced older woman."
"Nott, you…"
Draco's voice sounded slightly put off, while Zabini chimed in with a strange follow-up: "No, no, Nott actually gets it!"
"What about Crabbe?"
"Chest. Big ones."
"Goyle?"
"Butts, obviously."
"You guys are boring. Broaden your horizons."
Pansy clicked her tongue irritably.
"Are boys all idiots?!"
"That's what makes them cute."
Daphne tried to calm her down, but the sulky Pansy just turned her head away with a huff.
"Zabini is one thing, but even Draco… what's with that stupid grin on his face?"
Oh?
That voice just now sounded a bit jealous.
I immediately exchanged glances with Daphne and Millicent.
So, Pansy really does feel that way?She always has.Wait, seriously?You two are so dense!
"So if you like Draco, you could've just said so from the start."
"Wha—"
At Millicent's voice, which had leaked out of her thoughts halfway through, Pansy's face turned bright red in an almost comical way as she crossed her arms in a strange defensive pose.
"No! It's not like that with Draco or anything!"
"Pansy really is easy to read," I murmured.
Still, when you think about it calmly, it was not a surprising pairing at all. She might not have been conscious of it during Quidditch practice, but after that incident in Professor Lockhart's class, it would not be strange for her to fall for him.
"Yeah, I get it. Watching the guy you like having a great time with a dirty magazine would definitely tick you off."
Millicent folded her arms and nodded repeatedly as she continued.
"Come to think of it, does Draco have a girlfriend?"
"He's gotten handmade sweets from a few first-year girls before Quidditch practice…"
"Wait, Elaina, what is that? I never heard about this!"
Well, that is because I never told you.
"If you'd told me a bit earlier, I could've spread some information discreetly…"
"Well, um…"
As Pansy made an awkward face, Millicent put her hands on her hips and looked at her with exasperation.
"Honestly, if you like him, you should just say it already."
"Shut up. Don't lump me together with a single-celled idiot like you."
Unable to watch any longer, Daphne gently patted Pansy on the shoulder.
"You should tell Draco properly. You like him, right?"
"That's not…"
Usually sharp-tongued, Pansy was unusually at a loss for words.
"I know it won't get through if I don't say anything, but…"
"Yeah."
"If I suddenly said something like that, it would just put him in an awkward position."
"You don't want to trouble him?"
"If I make things awkward and he ends up hating me, then it's all for nothing…"
Seeing Pansy sitting with her knees hugged to her chest like a child, her face buried between her legs, Millicent and I exchanged a glance.
"She's such a maiden."
"That age, huh."
By the way, what was the Draco Malfoy in question doing at the time?
"So, Zabini, when the Ugandan Seeker pulled off a Wronski Feint in that match, I was watching from the very front row!"
"No way, that's insane! Then you saw the Transylvanian Seeker crash straight into the ground live too?!"
"Exactly! That was truly Merlin's beard."
Completely oblivious to the worries of a girl in love, they had somehow drifted into Quidditch talk. This did not bode well.
"Pansy, you should just go for it and accept it even if you get rejected. You'd feel better afterward."
"That's exactly why I don't want to get rejected! Millicent, were you even listening?!"
Pansy shouted, her emotions spiraling as her eyes welled with tears.
"Ugh… Professor Daphne, what do you think is the best way to win over a guy you're interested in?"
"From what I'm hearing, face, chest, and figure."
"How do you get a good face, chest, and figure?"
"Makeup, milk, and dieting."
"…I've decided."
Pansy sprang to her feet.
"By next year, I'm going to become a great-looking girl through makeup, milk, and dieting!"
Rome wasn't built in a day, and a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.Pansy Parkinson seemed to have steeled her resolve.
"Alright, I'll do my best!"
And so.
"Senior Flint, please take care of Pansy and Millicent too!"
"Huh?"
The next day, at the Slytherin team's practice field, Pansy and Millicent had also changed into training wear.
"N-Nice to meet you."
"Osu!"
"Celesteria, explain the situation in a way I can understand."
"To win over the boy she's interested in, she's starting with her body and going on a diet. Millicent is a bonus."
"I see. I don't know the details, but I like that spirit!"
Flint's style of living life on momentum alone has started to make sense to me lately.
"Rejoice, lads! You're running together with girls!"
"Wooooooah!!"
As Halloween drew closer, Pansy and Millicent focused on aerobic exercise and strength training. Their meals were also shifted, as much as possible, toward salads, warm vegetables, chicken breast, baked beans, and minestrone, while cutting back on sweets.
Of course, drastically changing one's lifestyle overnight can cause physical and mental issues, so with the goal of becoming beautiful girls by next year, Daphne and I worked out a reasonable long-term plan.
**
Meanwhile, as a pink breeze swept through all of Hogwarts, the erotic magazines in question were being published by a secret society called GELF, named after the initials of the four founders. It has no particular relation to the medieval Italian Guelphs.
Less than a month after its founding, Filch's workload skyrocketed, and eventually a large "BANNED" notice was posted in the Great Hall.
"Elaina, why do you look so pleased?"
After lunch, Lee Jordan, also known as "L," looked at me suspiciously as we passed each other, but to me, this was exactly as planned.
"Isn't it obvious? When something is forbidden, people want it even more. Even those who weren't interested before will surely start wondering, 'What kind of book could be so unhealthy that it got banned?' Their curiosity will be stirred!"
As expected, despite opportunistic price hikes, the magazines kept selling out. Filch tried stopping students at random and ordering them to turn out their pockets, but the students were always one step ahead.
They made the books look like blank notebooks unless a password was spoken, or like textbooks unless viewed through enchanted glasses. They used every trick imaginable to deceive the caretaker's eyes.
To add to that, demand wasn't limited to magazines aimed at boys. Teen magazines featuring musicians and fashion magazines also had steady demand among both boys and girls.
So, what was the result?
"Basically, wizards are superior to Muggles, but there are exceptions to everything."
Among the Muggle-hating Slytherins and pure-blood wizards of other houses, a subtle shift in awareness began to take place. Prejudice often arises because something is unfamiliar, and once it spreads gradually, people tend to get used to it and become more tolerant.
As for us.
"I've never seen this many Galleons in my life."
"And best of all, the professors can't easily get serious about cracking down on us."
"I bet Dumbledore is having a good laugh about it."
"This is easier than I thought."
In an empty classroom late at night, there were four activists who were making money through rather underhanded means while also working to correct prejudice against Muggles.
"For the greater good."
Sometimes, things that cannot strictly be called good still end up bringing about unexpected good in this world.
(End of chapter)
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