RRRRRing
The final bell of the day rang, for Sophie, it felt like the end of a high-stakes performance where she had forgotten all her lines.
She stood at her locker, her forehead pressed against the cool, dented metal of the door. The hallway, a river of noise shouting, the rhythmic thud-thud of basketballs being bounced toward the gym, and the metallic clatter of hundreds of lockers slamming shut.
Sophie's brain felt like a chalkboard that had been written on, erased, and written on again until the surface was nothing but a blur of white dust.
Wave. Pencil case. Sarcastic laugh. See you tomorrow. The four horsemen of her current apocalypse.
"You look like you're trying to phase through the locker and escape into the fourth dimension," a voice dryly noted.
Sophie didn't even have to look up. She recognized the scent of Lila's strawberry lip gloss and the jingle of the excessive number of keychains on her backpack.
"If I could, I would," Sophie muffled into her locker. "Is the fourth dimension quiet? Does it have Ethan Carter in it? If the answer is yes to the second one, I'll stay here and suffer."
Lila leaned against the locker next to Sophie's, crossing her arms. "Okay, spill. You were doing so well in the library until you suddenly turned into a block of ice and bolted. What happened? Did he tell you your urban planning was trash?"
Sophie finally pulled her head out of the locker and turned to face her friend. Her hair was a mess, and her eyes felt wide and frantic. "It's everything, Lila! Everything! The library was a disaster. A literal, physical, emotional disaster."
Lila raised an eyebrow, looking entirely too entertained. "Details, Sophie. My drama-starved soul needs details."
Sophie took a deep, shaky breath, her hands gesturing wildly as she spoke. "Okay, so I'm in the library, minding my own business—mostly—and he waves. A nice wave. A 'normal person' wave. And what do I do? I catapult my pencil case across the room like I'm trying to win a gold medal in the Stationery Olympics."
Lila snorted, her hand flying to her mouth. "Stationery Olympics? Please tell me you didn't."
"I did! And he helped me, Lila! He knelt down. He gave me my mechanical pencil back. He looked at me with those... those amber eyes, and he smiled. But then!" Sophie's voice rose an octave. "Then he went back to his table and started laughing with that girl from the soccer team. And I just... I knew. I knew he was laughing at me. The 'clumsy girl.' The 'geometry nerd.' The girl who can't hold a pen without a permit."
Lila stared at her for a long beat. The silence in the hallway seemed to stretch as she processed Sophie's monologue. Then, she let out a laugh so loud it made a passing freshman jump.
"Oh, Sophie," Lila gasped, wiping a tear from under her glasses. "You are a masterpiece of self-sabotage. You really are."
"I'm serious!" Sophie groaned, slamming her locker shut with a loud clang. "It was a pity wave! A pity smile! And then he probably told her how I almost knocked myself out with a highlighter."
Lila grabbed Sophie by the shoulders, physically turning her to face her. "Listen to me, you overthinking disaster. Ethan Carter is many things—he's tall, he's new, and he clearly has a thing for grey hoodies. But do you know what he isn't? Mean."
"You don't know that," Sophie muttered, though her resolve was weakening.
"I have eyes, Soph! I saw him looking at you. He wasn't laughing at you with Sarah. He was probably laughing because Sarah is loud and makes weird jokes about the soccer coach. When he looked at you, he looked... intrigued. Confused, sure because you acted like he'd just handed you a live grenade, but intrigued."
Sophie leaned back against the lockers, her shoulders finally dropping an inch. "Intrigued? Is that what you call it when someone looks at a car crash?"
"It's called 'Step One,'" Lila said firmly. She started walking toward the exit, beckoning Sophie to follow. "Friends start with interaction. And you, my friend, are interacting. You've moved past 'staring from the back of the room' and entered the 'awkwardly touching hands over school supplies' phase. That's a huge promotion."
"A promotion into a volcano," Sophie grumbled, but she followed her friend out into the crisp afternoon air.
The sun was beginning to dip, casting long shadows across the school parking lot. They walked toward the bus stop, the cool breeze helping to soothe the heat still lingering in Sophie's cheeks.
"Think about it," Lila continued, counting off on her fingers. "One: He knows your name. Two: He actually likes talking to you about the project—I saw him leaning in, Sophie. He wasn't bored. Three: He waited for you at the library door just to say goodbye."
"He did?" Sophie asked, her heart doing a small, hopeful hop. "I thought he was just... in the way."
"He had his hand on the door, Soph! He could have walked out ten seconds earlier. He waited for you to reach the exit so he could catch your eye. And what did you do? You gave him the 'Cold Shoulder of Death' and ran away like he was a tax collector."
Sophie buried her face in her hands. "I was protecting myself! If I didn't look, I couldn't see the mockery!"
Lila stopped in her tracks and grabbed Sophie's arm. "Sophie, look at me. You don't need to protect yourself from a boy who is being nice to you. Liking someone isn't a battlefield. It's supposed to be fun. Even the messy bits."
"The messy bits feel like they're covered in ink and shame," Sophie whispered.
Lila softened, her voice losing its teasing edge. "I know it's scary. You like him a lot. More than the 'normal' amount. And when you like someone that much, every little thing feels like it has a hidden meaning. But sometimes, a wave is just a wave. And a smile is just a smile because he thinks you're cute and weird."
"He thinks I'm weird?"
"The good kind of weird!" Lila laughed, nudging her. "The 'I want to see what she does next' kind of weird. Trust me, I'm your 'Crush Security.' I'm an expert in these matters."
Sophie giggled, the tension finally breaking. "Crush Security, huh? Does that come with a badge?"
"It comes with me telling you to stop being a lunatic," Lila grinned. "And it comes with me forcing you to stay 'on the map.' You've survived the library. You'll survive tomorrow. Just... try to keep the pens in the case next time, okay?"
They reached the bus stop just as the yellow bus pulled up, its brakes squealing. Sophie felt a strange sense of lightness. The "Doom-Face" had vanished, replaced by a cautious, flickering hope.
"One awkward wave at a time?" Sophie asked.
"One awkward wave at a time," Lila confirmed, giving her a quick side-hug before stepping onto the bus. "See you tomorrow, Sophie! And don't dream about blueprints too much!"
Sophie watched the bus pull away, waving until it disappeared around the corner. She turned and began the walk to her house, the rhythm of her footsteps matching the beat of her heart.
Lila was right. She didn't need to decode every micro-expression. She didn't need to be a "Normal Human" who never dropped things or stumbled over her words. Because if Ethan was still saying her name and waiting at doors, then maybe—just maybe—he liked the "Disaster Sophie" just as much as she liked the "Olive Green Hoodie" Ethan.
As she reached her front porch, she looked up at the first few stars appearing in the twilight sky.
See you tomorrow, he had said.
And for the first time, Sophie wasn't planning her escape. She was planning her greeting.
She wasn't sure what would happen, and she was still 80% terrified. But as she stepped inside her house, the "Flutter" in her chest felt like it was finally learning how to fly.
The messy bits were here. And Sophie realized, with a small, secret smile, that she was ready to survive every single one of them.