My ears ring.
The room we stand in flips.
I try to breathe.
Failure.
"Wh-huh?"
"My head hurts." My voice muffles unintentionally.
"Aven, are you feeling okay?" I can't hear properly.
"No more."
"Pardon?" She replies.
"No more!" I yell, turning my back and running into our garden, the exact space where Dad's locked room used to be.
As the sun begins to set, Elira gently enters the garden, hesitantly approaching Aven. "Aven," She whispers, "are you still awake?"
Aven slowly turns his head to face her, "Mum?" He asks.
"Don't you ever scare me like that again!" She shouts, pulling him into a deep embrace. "Scare you?" Aven chuckles, "I'm the one who keeps feeling dizzy ya know? First at the wedding," Elira tenses up, "then at training, even when I was talking with Dad yesterday."
"Aven!" Elira booms, "That's enough."
"What do you mean?" Aven asks as he tilts his head.
"You were saying this before you started panicking… Aven, your Dad… isn't real. He's never been here. You've never met the man."
Aven's head drops into his hands. "Mum… please don't do this to me." He digs his nails into his forehead, "Don't you think I've been through enough?!" He shrieks. "Why? Why can't everything just go back to normal?! Me, you and Dad! That's how it's always been!"
A tear slowly trickles down Elira's cheek. "Aven…" She whispers, "Am I not good enough anymore?" Aven's eyes widen at the question. "Why now? What is it I've done wrong that now all of a sudden you want a father?" She stands up and points at herself before continuing, "I get you may be a bit lonely only ever being around me but it's never affected you before!" She raises his chin to face her, "Aven and Elira. That's all it's ever been." She whispers. "Maybe, for your eleventh birthday I could take you to Seryth Village and we could go make some friends?" Aven shuts his eyes and turns his head away from her. "What's wrong?" Elira asks, voice shaking, "Aven, please. Just talk to me…"
"I don't want friends!" Aven pushes Elira's head away before standing up and turning his back to her, "I want my family back! Me, you and Dad!"
He pauses, wiping a tear from his eye before speaking, "Your husband."
He begins to walk toward the forest, "It's because of Dad I'm able to grow stronger. It's because of you that I'm as smart as I am… But it's also because of you that he left."
Elira's eyes widen as she chokes on her breath.
"I'm going to train." He states as he turns to face her. "It's what Dad told me to do."
Aven heads into the forest as the sun begins to set.
I stare at the tree. The same tree Dad introduced me to. "I'm not crazy." I tell myself, shaking my head. "How would I know where my training tree is if Dad didn't show me?" I walk over to the stump of the tree and run my hand down the mossy length. "It's real."
I pause.
"He's real."
I gaze at the peak of the tree. "Don't worry Dad, I'll have the drill down by the next time I see you."
The next few months follow routine: I'd wake up at sunrise and spend my day climbing and catching. I'm now able to make it to the top every time but catching all the leaves before they hit the ground is pretty hard. Mum's grown quieter these days and meal sizes have grown smaller. Everytime I see our portions I can't help but think 'Dad wouldn't let this happen. He says a growing boy needs his protein.'
Mum also goes out most nights. She thinks I don't notice but I do. Every night, she's got some sort of object in her hand when she leaves the house. Whenever she returns, money is always in her hand. Typical… without Dad's work income, she has to sell our stuff to get by. I've tried to hold my tongue as best I can but I can't do it anymore. I've had enough.
"Mum!" Aven bellows as he storms into her bedroom, watching Elira scramble around before facing him. She smiles in surprise, "Aven. It's been so long since-"
"Mum," Aven interrupts, "think about it: we can't keep living like this. We have to find Dad." Elira frowns, "Aven, please; just not today."
"No." Aven responds, folding his arms whilst pouting. "He told me he's in the mainlands. If we just ask him for some money, I'm sure he'll give it to us. Then maybe you can apologise and everything will be fixed again!" Aven suggests with glistening eyes.
Elira tightens her grip on her bedsheet, "Aven… There was no argument between me and your father." She grits her teeth before speaking, "You don't have a Dad Aven. I've told you over and over again." Aven opens his mouth, ready to interject, "Enough!" She yells.
"Aven, that's enough! I don't want to hear it anymore!" She shrieks, voice breaking.
"Your dad… Doesn't exist. I'm sorry Aven. I'm sorry that clearly, you think I'm that much of an incompetent mother that you need to resort to making up stories in your head about a man you've never even met before!" A vein running through the middle of Elira's forehead begins to pulse, "Someone has to be sane in this house! Why?!" Elira wipes the tears from her reddened eyes, now only able to whisper the words she speaks "Why can't it be you?"
Silence.
Elira climbs out of bed and shakes Aven's shoulders as she continues, "We're poor Aven. We don't have any money." She releases Aven whilst wiping a tear from her eye, "You're breaking my heart."
Aven doesn't respond.
Instead, he exits the room and softly shuts the door.
"Why God?" He hears from the other side of the door, "Why doesn't my son believe in me?"
Her sobs filled the room, but the door stayed closed.
That was the last time I mentioned Dad.
Years have passed since then and I thought it'd be best to keep what I know is real to myself. She said it best, mentioning Dad is only 'Breaking her heart.' I'm fourteen now; I've adjusted as best I can to this new lifestyle. I no longer seek the meals we once had. I no longer desire to see my family as happy as we once were. I no longer head to the forest to train. I just… exist.
Elira and I talk from time to time. I said thanks a few days ago when she gave me some of her food.
I just hope… no I don't. That was a lie.
The darkness of night once again engulfs the house we reside in. I shut my eyes and drift out of consciousness…
A crimson light opens my window.
My eyes shoot open.
I gasp.
"That light…This feeling." I sit up in my bed. Scanning my shoulders for the source. "I'll never forget this presence… It's Dad!" I exclaim silently. The door creaks open. I peer around the corner, waiting for him to enter.
"Oh… it's just Elira leaving again." I mutter as I watch her exit the house in a beige trench coat, checking to see if she's being watched before shutting the door behind her.
Of course she didn't see me watching her: Dad taught me how to conceal my presence.
I think back to the light waking me up, "That was definitely Dad… Maybe he's trying to tell me something but he can't appear in front of me right now?" I glance at Elira out of the window. 'There's still a lot you don't know about the people closest to you.'
"That's what he told me the last time I spoke to him…" I walk toward the door.
"What if…." my eyes widen, "Was he talking about her?!"
I clench my determined fist. "Don't worry Dad. I'll become a man you can be proud of. Proud enough to come back to us." I wrap my hand around the doorknob.
"I'll do it... I'll follow Elira!"