"That horse… is like a part of Napoleon's body," Shamash stumbled forward, eyes wide behind his glasses. "Their movements. perfectly synchronized. As if they share the same pulse."
"Do you trust your life to me?" Napoleon murmured, patting the mane of his horse as it thundered beneath him.
The horse snorted, muscles coiling, hooves biting into the stone.
That was enough to answer.
"THAT'S THE SPIRIT!!!" Ferbiris roared from the humans' stands. "COME ON, NAPOLEON!!!"
Ares snarled, divine aura flaring violently. "I will split the sky," he declared, voice booming across the arena, "then split you in half."
Lightning cracked above as Napoleon kicked his heels.
The horse surged forward.
Napoleon leaned low in the saddle, blade angled outward as they circled Ares at blistering speed. Stone shattered beneath pounding hooves, the air screaming as man and beast blurred into motion.
Ares swung his spear in a wide arc.
Napoleon ducked, the blade skimming inches from his head as he leaned to the side and slashed upward in passing.
CLANG—!
Sparks exploded as divine metal met divine flesh. A shallow cut opened across Ares' thigh.
The god of war growled and spun, shield raised just in time to block another drive-by strike as Napoleon wheeled around again.
"Too fast!" Ares barked, slamming his shield into the ground. A shockwave rippled outward.
The horse leapt.
They cleared the wave by inches.
Mid-air, Napoleon twisted in the saddle and hurled his blade downward.
The divine weapon struck Ares' shoulder, embedding itself deep.
Ares roared, ripping it free as golden blood sprayed across the arena.
Napoleon was already gone, circling again, relentless.
Another pass.
Another slash.
Another near-miss.
"HE'S NOT LETTING HIM BREATHE!!!" Mercury screamed into his horn.
Ares planted his feet, muscles bulging, spear crackling with power. He hurled it like a thunderbolt.
Napoleon pulled hard on the reins.
The spear missed by a hair, ripping through the arena wall instead.
Napoleon turned back one more time, blade raised, eyes burning with focus and joy.
"This is how humans fight gods," he called out.
Together, man and horse charged again, refusing to slow, refusing to yield, Forcing the god of war to defend.
Napoleon slowed his horse only for a heartbeat.
Long enough.
He reached behind his back.
Steel flashed.
Then again.
Both blades, his battered mortal sword and the divine god-killer, were in his hands now, crossed before him as the horse pawed the ground beneath his boots.
A murmur rippled through the stands.
"He's… dual-wielding?" Bialorus whispered. "On horseback?"
Ferbiris' grin widened.
Across the arena, Ares straightened.
He extended his hand.
The spear answered.
It tore itself free from the stone wall with a scream of metal and divinity, streaking back into Ares' grip in a blaze of light. the tip glowing white-hot.
The god of war rolled his shoulders.
"So," Ares said calmly, planting the butt of the spear against the ground, "you charge a god head-on."
Napoleon leaned forward in the saddle, blades low, eyes locked.
"I charge victory."
He kicked.
The horse exploded forward.
Stone shattered. Wind howled. The distance between them vanished in seconds.
Napoleon raised both blades, crossing them into a deadly X as he prepared to strike, one aimed for the heart, the other for the throat.
Ares didn't move.
Not yet.
At the last possible instant, he lowered his stance.
Then, He thrust.
The spear shot forward like a bolt of fate itself, faster than sound, faster than sight.
The spear screamed toward him.
Napoleon didn't dodge.
He split.
At the final instant, he rose in the saddle, legs tightening, body twisting with perfect timing drilled by a lifetime of cavalry charges. The spear grazed past his ribs close enough to burn while the horse thundered straight through the opening.
Now they were inside Ares' guard.
Napoleon crossed his arms.
Then uncrossed them.
Both blades struck as one.
The mortal sword plunged into Ares' abdomen, punching through armor already cracked by earlier blows.
The divine god-killer followed an instant later, driving straight into Ares' chest, piercing heart, essence, and eternity alike.
Time froze.
Ares' eyes went wide.
Golden blood spilled from his mouth as the light in his armor flickered violently.
"No." he breathed, disbelief finally breaking through his rage.
Napoleon ripped both blades free in a single brutal motion as the horse carried him past.
Ares staggered.
Then fell.
One knee slammed into the stone.
The arena went silent.
"…He did it," Bialorus whispered, barely audible.
"He knelt him," Ferbiris said, voice shaking with awe.
Ares tried to rise.
Failed.
The god of war dropped fully to both knees, spear clattering from his grasp as divine light poured from the wounds in his chest.
Napoleon didn't look back.
He rode.
All the way to the edge of the arena.
The horse slowed, hooves echoing. Napoleon turned in the saddle, blades lowering at his sides. Wind swept his coat, blood dripping steadily onto the stone.
He raised one hand.
The air answered.
Spectral shapes formed behind him
one horse… then another… then dozens… hundreds… thousands.
Phantom cavalry, mirrors of every charge he had ever led. A sea of horses, riders faceless, hooves burning with pale white fire. The sound built like thunder rolling across history itself.
Napoleon lifted the divine blade and spoke softly, almost tenderly.
"Écoute, chérie."
Listen, my dear.
He pointed the blade toward Ares.
The cavalry charged.
The arena vanished beneath the roar.
Horses trampled forward in an unstoppable tide, crashing into Ares from every direction, hooves destroying armour, bodies slamming into him again and again.
Ares screamed once.
Then not at all.
When the dust cleared, there was no god of war standing.
He swung himself down from his horse, boots touching the stone with a dull, final thud. He did not look at the remains behind him. He did not need to.
"HE DID IT!!!" Joachim screamed, nearly falling over the railing.
"A GOD. A REAL GOD IS DEAD!!!" Bialorus shouted, hands shaking.
Ferbiris laughed, breathless, eyes shining. "History just changed."
Napoleon stood still, chest rising and falling, blood dripping onto the stone. He placed a hand on his horse's neck, steadying himself.
"The first battle of Armageddon is over."
A pause.
Napoleon Bonaparte versus Ares.
Victor: Napoleon Bonaparte.
Time: 18 minutes and 51 seconds.
Deciding move: Écoute Chérie.
Zeus's mouth hung agape, his skeletal fingers trembling as he slowly lowered his hand.
"How…" His voice cracked, thunder rumbling faintly in the distance. "HOW DID HE KILL ARES?!"
"That was… nuts, man." Hanuman leaned back in his seat, arms behind his head, a crooked smirk on his face. "Ares was pathetic. He got dominated, man!"
Several gods shot him glares, but none argued.
"It's alright, Zeus. It's only the first round." Patecatl wiped sweat from his brow, forcing calm into his voice. "We still have twelve matches left. All we have to do is crush them in the second."
Zeus inhaled deeply, composing himself.
"BUT WHO THE FUCK COULD BEAT—"
He stopped.
His hollow eyes flicked back to the parchment.
"…Wait."
He scanned the human roster again, slower this time. More carefully.
Napoleon Bonaparte.
The greatest military mind humanity had ever produced.
Zeus snarled. "No wonder. Of course he was the one. A general who lived for war, strategy, and conquest, ares underestimated him."
Messenger of the gods, Hermes stepped closer, arms folded. "Then do not make the same mistake again."
Zeus' finger dragged down the list of human names.
"Caesar," he muttered. "Another conqueror."
"Spartacus, unbreakable will."
"Mehmed II… breaker of empires."
"Isaac Newton…" He scoffed. "Dangerous, but not a fighter."
"Billy the Kid. too wild."
"Sisyphus…" Zeus paused, frowning. "Annoying."
Then his finger stopped.
"…Confucius."
"No."
"Copernicus."
"Anaxagoras." Zeus growled.
"These humans aren't just warriors," he realized aloud. "They're ideas. Strategy. Defiance. Progress."
Perun leaned forward, lightning crawling along his arm. "Then pick a god who doesn't fight with brute force."
Yoruba God Eshu nodded. "Choose one who cannot be out-thought."
Egyptian Goddess Iris grinned sharply. "Or one who enjoys breaking symbols."
Zeus' gaze finally settled on the gods' list.
Ra.
Cu Chulainn.
Heimdall.
Jupiter.
Marduk.
A slow, dangerous smile crept across his skull.
"…No more games," Zeus said quietly. "If humans want hope."
He tapped the parchment once.
"Then we crush it in round two."
Thunder rolled.
"Bring me a god who does not fall."
"Well. I think I'm your guy." A voice came from the hallway."
"You're perfect… You're our fighter."