Chapter 36
"When we first left home, both Jeffery and I were still a bit unaccustomed to it. The unfamiliarity brought intense stimulation, and during that time, Jeffery's spell-work improved almost week by week. But for me, only the first three days held any real enjoyment. Once I adapted, those so-called adventures and journeys were nothing more than another form of routine—hmm, perhaps because I've never been particularly fond of traveling."
"I visited the mithril mines in France and studied the resonance between ancient runes and the earth's magical veins for a while, trying to find commonalities in magic from them. But I discovered that those commonalities were already hidden within the thousands of spells I had learned long ago."
Lucian suddenly looked up as if reminiscing about something "Later, I clashed with some ancient wizarding families in Northern Europe—I examined their magic, but aside from outdated concepts that were ancient and toothless, it had no distinctive features at all. As for the rest... The dragons in Bulgaria were quite good, but since hunting dragons is strictly prohibited, I didn't want to cause trouble for myself, so I never fought one head-on."
As he spoke about this part, Lucian's thoughts began to wander. Upon careful reflection, in the past fourteen years of his life, there seemed to be very few things worth remembering.
Even the various sights and experiences from his travels now failed to stir his heart in the slightest.
"In the past, I proudly believed that even without learning dark magic, as long as I had a transcendent understanding of magic, I could still reach a level unseen by predecessors through charms and transfiguration alone. Dark magic, being such an unstable existence, wasn't worth the risk of studying. But after wandering aimlessly for several years, it only made me repeatedly and increasingly clearly realize one thing—magic is utterly unreasonable."
He began to tap on the chair, "Above spells, targets, belief, and imagination, there must be something I have completely unforeseen. To touch the essence, I must take risks. To explore deeper, more arduous places—even the most dangerous and forbidden domains."
A gleam shone in Lucian's eyes "Two years ago, I finally made up my mind. I led my group of students back to Britain in secret and officially began studying dark magic from scratch. But due to my insufficient understanding of dark magic and some unexpected incidents, one of my students was caught by the retired Mad-Eye Moody, and after that, he latched onto us like a madman."
"And then—you arrived." As he said this, the light in his eyes dimmed again. He helplessly spread his palms toward Dumbledore, looking quite resigned.
Dumbledore had been immersed in the journey of seeking truth that Lucian had just described. Seeing him suddenly act like this, a gentle smile involuntarily crept into the corners of his eyes "I must say, Lucian, after graduating, you lived quite an extraordinary life."
"Extraordinary? For fourteen years, I basically did nothing but practice magic."
"No—absolutely extraordinary." Dumbledore shook his head, his attitude unwavering.
"On the surface, it might seem as you say: what you experienced was merely day after day of repetition. But in my view, what is precious is not just that persistence—though it is indeed remarkable. What is even more valuable is your thinking and exploration of magic during the learning process. Lucian, to reach your current level of magic with only twenty-one years of study is an undeniably outstanding achievement. You have every right to be proud."
"Thank you for your recognition, Professor." To be affirmed like this by the greatest wizard of the age—if Lucian claimed he felt nothing at all, that would be far too hypocritical.
Indeed, his past efforts neither had nor needed an audience but this belated, richly meaningful applause arrived at just the right moment.
However, in Lucian's heart right now, there was more caution than joy—because Dumbledore's words were not yet finished.
Recalling their initial topic—how to improve magical power—the more crucial words were clearly still to come and sure enough, just as Lucian thought this, Dumbledore suddenly uttered a pivotal "but."
"But you lack something extremely important."
Thump!!!
Lucian felt his heart contract sharply. His throat suddenly became dry and itchy in an instant, as if the hot cocoa he had drunk earlier had all turned to powder, sticking there and desperately trying to block his voice.
"What is it—" He stared at Dumbledore, his mind racing at full speed.
But Dumbledore seemed intent on getting revenge for the earlier jab, deliberately keeping Lucian in suspense at this moment.
"In my view, as a wizard, you have indeed achieved something quite remarkable. But Lucian, have you ever noticed that it is precisely because of this perfection that you have lost something even more precious?"
"What do you mean?" Lucian's brows furrowed tightly; he felt a headache beginning, 'What am i missing??
Ever since coming to Hogwarts, all those scattered, faint insights had, at this moment, been fully mobilised by Dumbledore's single sentence—yet they always fell short of that final piece, like scratching an itch through a boot.
He seemed to have realized something, but no matter how he thought, he couldn't find the answer and it was at this moment that Dumbledore solemnly pointed it out amid Lucian's chaotic thoughts "Lucian, you are undoubtedly an outstanding wizard. But I must say, beyond being a wizard, beyond magic— As a person, as a student, as a complete living individual, you have utterly shortchanged yourself! Just looking at you, I can tell how much effort you've put in along the way, how many people who admired you you've turned away. You suppressed your emotions, ignored your own needs, and under immense pressure, surrendered everything about yourself to magic. This is excellent—you have undoubtedly accomplished this perfectly!"
"But what about the cost? Lucian, have you ever thought about what the price is for obtaining this power?"
Boom!!!
In that instant, it was as if thousands of electric currents surged through every cell in Lucian's body! Dumbledore's question caused his mind to explode completely in that moment.
Amid the trembling of his soul, dust-like particles of information frantically converged in his brain. Past conversations echoed repeatedly in his mind, gradually forming fragments waiting to be pieced together.
He suddenly heard many voices "Lucian, you could've been a fun guy. Stop fiddling with those basic spells all day—join us, and you'll definitely discover more fun in magic."
[James Potter, thanks for the invitation, but I'm actually the most boring person there is. I have no interest in the fun you speak of. Please don't bother me again.]
"You're Lucian, right? I've been watching you for a long time! You're different from them—different from those idiots who just laugh stupidly or scream all day. You understand what truly matters! Let's join forces—just you and me! We can delve into those powerful magics together, master power they'll never reach in their lifetimes! Make all those arrogant, foolish fools pay the price!"
[Severus Snape? I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'm completely different from what you imagine. I have no interest in the powerful magic you speak of. Please don't bother me again—I don't want people thinking I'm associated with you.]
"Lucian, I like you. Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me this Christmas?"
[Sorry, I don't have time for romance.]
"Lucian, I'm specially allowing a half-blood like you to join our Quidditch team. Slytherin must always be number one!"
[Thanks, but I hate Quidditch.]
"I never thought you'd actually become a teacher at Hogwarts—ha! A reclusive freak! Of course, you can do what you've always done: ignore everyone and immerse yourself in your own world. That's what you've always done, isn't it?"
"Professor, you seem in a good mood today?"
[Yes... perhaps deep down, I had always longed to return here.]
"Professor, about the fifth stage you mentioned today—I think I already have the answer now. It's an emotion, isn't it?"
"So I was thinking... wouldn't it be better for a wizard to experience different things, feel different emotions, rather than always secluding themselves to study charms?"
The words from the past struck his heart like spells. The once-fuzzy thoughts suddenly connected through to the core of his being in that moment and as his mind trembled, Lucian's gaze passed beyond Dumbledore, piercing through the walls of Hogwarts Castle to see his eleven-year-old self.
The sparkle that had first ignited in those eyes upon receiving the Hogwarts acceptance letter. Back then, magic was a gift, it was a miracle.
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