The hospital room still felt like the aftermath of a bomb had gone off. Not because of Beel's demonic power this time, but because of the sentence that had left Kogen's lips so casually, so effortlessly, so... ruinously:
"I'm the president of Vega."
Silence. Deafening silence. The kind of silence that weighed heavier than the destruction of Ishiyama High.
Everyone was frozen. Hilda had one perfectly arched eyebrow raised, Lamia's jaw was hanging so low it nearly hit the sterile tile floor, Forcas adjusted his glasses three times as though the lenses had cracked from sheer disbelief, and Oga—Oga was staring at Kogen like he had just admitted to secretly being God, the Devil, and the janitor of Ishiyama all at once.
Furuichi, on the other hand, was the first to shatter the silence. He threw his arms up in the air, eyes bugging out with bloodshot excitement, and let out the kind of scream usually reserved for people winning the lottery:
"ARE YOU TELLING ME—! ARE YOU FREAKIN' TELLING ME—THAT OGA, THAT BRUTE, THAT GORILLA, THAT SINGLE-CELL NEANDERTHAL—" He spun dramatically toward Oga, pointing a trembling finger like an anime prosecutor, "—SCORED HIMSELF A BEAUTIFUL, RICH, MULTI-NATIONAL PRESIDENT AS HIS WIFE?!"
Kogen, standing calmly by Beel's side with Jagua curled in his lap, tilted his head ever so slightly, lips tugged into an amused little smile. "Correction. I am not Oga's wife. Nor his husband. Nor his anything."
"LIES!" Furuichi slapped his hands against his cheeks, wailing. "Why does the universe insist on giving the gorilla everything? First Hilda—beautiful demon maid! Then the Red Tails leader Kunieda fawning over him in tsundere mode! Now you—Fallen Angel Kogen, the billionaire prince charming of Vega himself!"
He collapsed onto his knees, pounding the hospital floor. "Why not me? WHY NOT MEEE?!"
Oga finally snapped out of his daze, fist cocked and already glowing with the promise of violence. "OI. Don't lump me into your rotten delusions! And don't call Kogen my wife!"
Kogen, entirely unbothered, stroked Beel's hair while the baby babbled and slapped at Toujo's hospital blanket with his chubby hands. "Well, technically, Toujo seems convinced otherwise."
All eyes turned to Toujo, who had been silently stewing in his hospital bed this entire time. His face was pale but twisted with the raw energy of a man who had spent too many nights watching late-night soap operas. His hand gripped the sheets as if wringing the fabric could express his pain.
"Oga..." Toujo's voice was dark, trembling. "...If you ever abandon this family again, I won't hesitate to step in. A man should take responsibility. If you can't, then I—" He paused, dramatically raising a hand to gesture at Kogen and Beel, "—WILL!"
Kogen sweatdropped anime-style, muttering in deadpan. "...Did you hit your head harder than I thought?"
Oga's eye twitched. Veins bulged at his temples. The words FAMILY and RESPONSIBILITY ricocheted in his brain like grenades, detonating his pride and his temper simultaneously.
"You bastard..." Oga's fist tightened. "Stop talking like Kogen's your wife and Beel's your kid!"
Toujo dramatically looked away, refusing to make eye contact, his hand clutching his chest. "Hmph. Your denial only proves your guilt."
"WHAT GUILT?! YOU IDIOT!"
Meanwhile, Furuichi had risen to his feet, eyes sparkling like stars. His brain was spinning fantasies at lightspeed.
Fantasy Mode – Activated
In his mind, Oga lounged in a luxury penthouse with Kogen on one side, Hilda on the other, Kunieda serving drinks, showing up in a maid outfit. All of them swooned over Oga while Furuichi watched through a frosted glass window like a starving beggar.
Furuichi threw his arms wide in real life, tears streaming down his face. "DAMN YOU, OGA! You're living the dream! The dream of every man alive! A billionaire wife, a demon maid, a gang-leader mistress, and—" He pointed at Toujo, sobbing, "—even a dependable manly side-lover of your wife in the wings! Full romance drama mode activated. You greedy bastard, share some with me!"
Oga's fist shot out instantly, connecting with Furuichi's skull in a BAM that rattled the bedframes. "SHUT UP, YOU FILTHY TRASH!"
Furuichi slammed into the wall, sliding down with a comical bump. "W-Why... why can't I have nice things..."
Lamia muttered from her seat, her tone dripping with poisonous amusement. "Honestly, it makes sense. Who wouldn't cling to the man who declared: 'You are not alone. I will help you raise Beel. Together.'"
Kogen froze, his cheeks flushing red at the memory of Toujo's overly dramatic vow. He waved his hand dismissively, though his ears betrayed him by glowing pink. "D-Don't repeat that nonsense. He misunderstood everything."
Toujo, however, seized on it with the force of a truck. He sat up straighter despite his bandages, glaring at Oga with eyes full of burning challenge. "Exactly! I said it once and I'll say it again. Kogen and Beel are not alone. Even if you abandon them, I will raise them with everything I've got."
The hospital room descended into chaos:
Oga lunging forward, veins bulging, roaring, "WHO SAID I'D ABANDON THEM AGAIN?!"
Toujo clutching his sheets like a betrayed husband in a soap opera.
Furuichi screaming about harems.
Lamia muttering sharp one-liners like a gremlin.
Hilda sighing with elegant disdain, calling everyone "idiots."
Beel, caught up in the noise, started babbling loudly, flinging sparks of electricity into the air, shocking the machines and setting off alarms.
"KYUUUUUUU!" Zap!
The heart monitor flatlined.
Forcas panicked, flailing his arms. "No, no, no! The patient isn't dead! The machine's fried!"
"Damn brat!" Oga growled, only for Beel to slap his face with a spark-charged palm, shocking him into a comical puff of smoke.
Kogen sighed, gently bouncing Beel in his arms. "Darling, calm down. Papa's just an idiot."
Oga froze, mid-smoke, steam coming out of his ears. His jealousy spiked so hard it nearly killed him. He jabbed a finger at Kogen, face bright red. "DON'T CALL HIM DARLING IN FRONT OF ME!"
Kogen blinked, tilting his head with angelic innocence. "...I was talking to Beel."
The entire room exploded with laughter, Lamia choking on her juice box, Furuichi rolling on the floor, Toujo grinning smugly, and Hilda smirking like she had just won a bet.
Oga, meanwhile, combusted in rage.
"YOU'RE ALL DEAD!"
He lunged at Furuichi first, pummeling him into a pulp while Furuichi screamed, "NOT ME! NOT ME! TAKE THE BILLIONAIRE WIFE LIFE INSTEAD!"
Kogen, still blushing faintly, hugged Beel closer, eyes sparkling with quiet amusement as the chaos unfolded. His thoughts were simple, detached, but sincere:
"Even if they're idiots... this chaos is strangely warm."
Toujo, watching Kogen's faint smile, clenched his fists under the blanket. His soap-opera mind screamed, No, Kogen, don't fall for him again. Stay strong. I'll save you from Oga.
Oga, feeling Toujo's stare drilling into him, snapped his head around mid-beating of Furuichi. "OI! STOP LOOKING AT KOGEN LIKE THAT!"
Toujo smirked, defiant. "Make me."
The hospital erupted again, nurses running in, alarms blaring, and Beel clapping his tiny hands, clearly entertained.
And somewhere in the middle of it all, Kogen—beautiful as a fallen angel, billionaire president, demon caretaker, chaos magnet—just sighed, his blush refusing to fade, muttering:
"...Karma really does bite back."