Chapter 49: Konoha Might as Well Change Its Name to "White Turbid Village"
No…no, that wasn't right.
Jiraiya shook his head, flicking his hair as he did so. He felt like he really might be getting senile.
How could that possibly be Nagato changing gender?
How old would Nagato be by now?
When Jiraiya left Amegakure, Nagato was ten years old. That didn't mean he'd still be that age now.
"That voice just now really did sound like Konan… but who was the man next to her? And who was that little Uzumaki girl…?"
Jiraiya stroked his chin, leaning against the wooden wall outside the women's hot spring, sinking into deep thought and deduction.
"Let's first assume that the owner of that voice really was Konan. Then the problem becomes…"
If it had been Nagato who appeared, Jiraiya wouldn't have found it strange at all. But instead, there was another unfamiliar man. And based on Jiraiya's many years of emotional experience accumulated from writing novels, the relationship between those two was definitely not shallow.
Therefore, that Uzumaki child definitely wasn't related to Konan.
By eliminating all incorrect options, the remaining one, no matter how outrageous, had to be the truth.
"That's Nagato and Yahiko's child."
Jiraiya clenched his fist, tilted his gaze forty-five degrees toward the sky, and stated his conclusion with a straight face.
Yahiko was definitely male, on that point, Jiraiya was absolutely certain. After all, they'd peed together.
But Nagato was very shy and had never gone to the bathroom in front of others.
Also, when kids are young, whether it's their bodies or their voices, it's hard to distinguish gender anyway…
And besides, even if Nagato really 'was' male, that didn't necessarily mean he couldn't have children.
Such things were clearly recorded in the recent hit novel of the ninja world, 'Buff Man Paradise', written by a junior of his, the great author Jiraiya himself.
After thinking this far, Jiraiya didn't chase after them to investigate further.
The reason he'd returned to Konoha in the first place was that the Third Hokage, who was also his sensei, Sarutobi Hiruzen, had told him that the Mizukage, Tsuchikage, and Kazekage were all gathering in Konoha, with the former two even bringing large numbers of genin. To prevent any unexpected incidents, Jiraiya had been specially invited back to sit in as backup.
If that really had been Konan just now, then there would be plenty of time to reunite after the Chūnin Exams were over.
—
"Konoha's Third Hokage often uses the Telescope Technique, the same one we saw earlier monitoring the exam rooms, to spy on the women's bathhouse."
"Besides the Third Hokage, your sensei Jiraiya has the same hobby."
"And he doesn't even like using ninjutsu. He really enjoys the thrill of being discovered and chased."
On the other side, Shiromo explained to Konan why they absolutely could not go to Konoha's public bathhouses or hot springs.
"What?!"
Konan hadn't even had time to react before Karin, who was following behind them, jumped in fright.
She'd been a little unhappy earlier when Shiromo wouldn't let her go take a bath.
But now, upon hearing that Konoha was secretly harboring two major perverts, she instantly lost all desire to ever go near a bathhouse.
How could there be people who liked peeping at the opposite sex bathing? That was way too disgusting!
Karin felt intense contempt in her heart.
"Then just endure it for a few more days. We'll wash properly once we're back in the village."
Konan knew that what Shiromo said was probably true, so she could only comfort Karin.
The three of them wandered around for a while, ate a serving of Konoha's signature Ichiraku Ramen, and then followed the crowd leaving the exam venue toward the second testing site.
The written test was already over. Now it was time for the second stage's elimination round.
The Forest of Death also known as the 'Orochimaru bullying rookies tournament'.
Since he'd already reminded Konan not to bathe in Konoha, Shiromo decided he should also give Mei and Kurotsuchi a warning.
"Mizukage, Tsuchikage, there's something I forgot to tell you yesterday. In Konoha, or even anywhere in the Land of Fire, you'd better not go to women's bathhouses or hot springs."
Shiromo went straight to the point.
Completely ignoring the Third Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen walking alongside them, as well as Orochimaru, who was impersonating the Fourth Kazekage.
"Hm? Why? Is the service bad here?"
"Or is the water quality poor?"
Mei and Kurotsuchi were both puzzled.
"It's said that after losing his wife many years ago, the Third Hokage became rather repressed and spends his days using that telescope technique to peep…" (Its called Crystal Ball Jutsu in eng dub)
"Cough, cough, cough! Friend from Amegakure, you can't just slander this old man's innocence out of thin air!"
Hiruzen's face instantly flushed red as he hurriedly cut in to refute the claim.
"One of the Sannin, Jiraiya, wanders around women's bathhouses every day to gather material for writing erotic novels."
Shiromo ignored the Third Hokage's rebuttal and continued.
"That part is true."
Hiruzen nodded slightly, giving confirmation.
He had no choice but to confirm it.
If he denied both claims, the Mizukage and Tsuchikage would definitely become suspicious.
But by confirming the latter, it showed that as Third Hokage, he wasn't disregarding the truth just to protect Konoha's image, and that he was willing to acknowledge wrongdoing even when it involved his own disciple.
Naturally, that would make them less likely to believe the first accusation.
Better to sacrifice the toad than the monkey. Sorry, Jiraiya.
Sarutobi Hiruzen offered a silent apology in his heart.
As for whether Jiraiya's reputation would spread to Iwagakure and Kirigakure, that was beyond his control.
"Konoha is really… that kind of place, huh? Yesterday we even ran into two per…uh… women harassing him."
Kurotsuchi was young, and some words were still too embarrassing for her to say out loud.
"Huh?"
Hiruzen froze.
They'd already encountered harassment incidents?
And it was 'female' perverts harassing someone?
Hiruzen was dumbfounded. He'd lived in Konoha for decades, how come he'd never once encountered such a wonderful thing?
"Third Hokage, since Konoha is this perverted, why not just change its name to White Turbid Village?"
Mei spoke calmly.
"Mizukage! What kind of outrageous nonsense are you saying?!"
Kurotsuchi stared at Mei in shock.
"Tsuchikage, what exactly are you thinking?"
Mei raised her hand, coating it with chakra, and spat out a mouthful of thick, white, turbid substance…
Then let it slide down her palm and drip onto the ground.
The white substance made a 'hissing' sound as it corroded the surface.
"I'm talking about Lava Release. What I mean is that Konoha should be merged into our Kirigakure. May I ask, did anyone just misunderstand?"
Mei asked rhetorically.
"…"
The corner of Kurotsuchi's mouth twitched.
"N-no, haha."
Hiruzen could tell now, these two young Kage both had rather… mischievous personalities. Was it that he was getting old and falling behind the times?
The Kazekage was better.
After all, he was someone who'd had children and become a father, steady and reliable. He hadn't said a single word this whole time.
"…As long as you understand."
Even Shiromo was momentarily speechless at Mei's behavior.
"Hokage-sama, if it doesn't interfere with the exams, would it be alright for us to watch the matches from above the arena?"
Shiromo asked Hiruzen.
"Hm? That's fine, as long as it doesn't affect the exam."
The sudden return to a serious topic nearly caught Hiruzen off guard.
"I won't be going."
The Kazekage spoke.
There was still little interest in the second-stage group elimination round.
Most spectators were waiting for the one-on-one elite matches.
With the Kazekage preparing to leave at this moment, Hiruzen didn't sense anything amiss.
Only Shiromo knew, Orochimaru was heading off to bully rookies.
(End of this chapter)