Chapter 35: Hell Stab: Elementary School Thrusting Hand
"Actually, it's just me. He's here to handle other matters."
After saying this, Shiromo turned to the man beside him.
"Kakuzu, according to the intel, the current village head of Takigakure is decent enough. Do you want to negotiate with him?"
"Mm."
Kakuzu nodded dully, then seemed to recall something and complained, "These past few days, that brat Deidara has been driving me insane. I can't even make money properly anymore."
Deidara had gone to Iwagakure to obtain ancient scrolls left behind by his predecessors, hoping to draw inspiration from them and optimize his explosive clay.
Optimization had to be done step by step.
First, he needed to make sure that explosive clay derived from Earth Release would no longer be countered by Lightning Release.
Then, as a bonus, he wanted to figure out how to deal damage to the Ōtsutsuki clan, who could absorb ninjutsu.
And within Akatsuki, the only one who could use Lightning Release, indeed, all five elements, was Kakuzu.
As a result, Kakuzu had to manage Amegakure's economy every day while also finding time to act as Deidara's sparring partner.
And as Deidara's ideas grew more numerous, the training sessions became more and more frequent.
By the time Kakuzu was thoroughly fed up, he finally gave Deidara a suggestion, add explosive tags to the explosive clay.
Explosive tags dealt Fire Release–type damage. As long as they were added, Lightning Release would no longer be able to counter it.
They could even avoid adding the tags at first, letting the opponent think Lightning Release still worked against explosive clay, and then suddenly include them for a surprise attack.
Originally, Kakuzu didn't want to give Deidara this idea. Explosive tags were expensive, after all. With Deidara's obsession with explosion art, how much money would he burn through in a single day?
But being pestered endlessly like this, Kakuzu couldn't even focus on developing Amegakure's economy.
So he remembered what Shiromo had told him during their first Akatsuki meeting: look at the long term, don't get hung up on immediate profits.
If he could just placate Deidara for now and free up his hands to make big money, the cost of explosive tags would be nothing.
But what happened?
Deidara insisted that low-level ninja tools like explosive tags had no right to contaminate his art. That would be plagiarism, something an artist could never tolerate.
Kakuzu's mindset completely collapsed.
And just at that moment, Shiromo invited him to go to the battlefield between Iwagakure and Kumogakure, his hometown, Takigakure. Kakuzu agreed without hesitation.
He left Deidara here for a while and let him figure things out himself.
Surely, by the time Kakuzu came back, Deidara wouldn't be clinging to him anymore.
Deidara couldn't possibly sit around doing nothing while Kakuzu was gone, right?
That wouldn't fit his personality.
"Deidara wants to get stronger, what about you, Kakuzu? I've heard Takigakure has something called the Hero Water. Drinking it shortens your lifespan but greatly increases chakra. Why not give it a try?"
"Your lifespan depends on your hearts anyway, so losing some years shouldn't matter, right?"
Shiromo's words made Kakuzu freeze.
"Could it be that Takigakure's founders relied on both of these things to establish the village?"
Kakuzu fell into thought.
But he quickly rejected the idea.
While Earth Grudge Fear and Hero Water did have some synergy, they had nothing to do with the founding of a hidden village.
Those useless, incompetent higher-ups who once sent him to assassinate the First Hokage weren't qualified to wield either of those powers.
"Where did this brat come from? Call out the one who can actually make decisions, Ōnoki!"
The Fourth Raikage, A, clad in Lightning Release Chakra Mode, appeared on the front lines and roared at Kurotsuchi.
"I am the Tsuchikage, and the leader of the Land of Earth!"
"Raikage, you invader, say what you want to say to me! If you don't want to talk, then we'll keep fighting!"
Kurotsuchi showed no sign of backing down in the face of Raikage A.
"Kakuzu, watch the waterfall."
Shiromo's voice interrupted Kakuzu's thoughts.
"The waterfall?"
Kakuzu looked up toward the massive waterfall at the entrance of Takigakure.
Takigakure was also located between major nations, yet it had avoided the ravages of war, because the village lay hidden behind a great waterfall.
When great nations fought, they only slaughtered each other outside the waterfall, just like what was happening now.
Kakuzu stared at the waterfall and suddenly sensed a subtle disturbance.
Someone was coming out of the waterfall?
Facing a battle between two major villages, shouldn't Takigakure have sealed its gates and stationed guards at its only entrance?
Why would anyone dare come out?
Or was it…
Kakuzu suddenly struck. A fist formed from Earth Grudge Fear shot out, piercing straight through the body of the ninja who had just emerged from the waterfall.
He retracted his fist, dragging the ninja's corpse back with it.
"Kumo-nin?"
Kakuzu kicked the already-dead ninja, revealing the forehead protector.
Not from Takigakure, but from Kumogakure, one of the two villages currently at war.
Along with him came a large sack clutched tightly in his hands.
Kakuzu opened it. Inside was a blue-green-haired girl, her chakra sealed by a fuinjutsu and her mouth gagged.
The girl had been panicking in fear, but upon seeing Kakuzu, her eyes lit up, and muffled "mmph" sounds came from her blocked mouth.
This entire sequence unfolded in full view during the temporary ceasefire, while the two Kage were verbally sparring.
When the Raikage saw the slain Kumogakure ninja and the target inside the sack, his expression changed drastically.
As the fastest shinobi in the world, the Raikage flashed forward in an instant, appearing before Kakuzu and trying to snatch the girl away.
Against such speed, Kakuzu naturally couldn't react in time.
However…
The Raikage's lightning-clad arm was firmly grabbed by another hand, unable to move an inch.
"You?!"
The Raikage raised his head and looked at Shiromo. He hadn't expected that after Namikaze Minato's death, there would still be someone in the shinobi world who could keep up with his full speed.
"Raikage, why is Kumogakure always thinking about other villages' jinchūriki? Aren't you afraid others might kidnap your jinchūriki too?"
Shiromo's tone carried a faint trace of mockery.
He had originally wondered why Kumogakure declared war on Iwagakure, thinking there might be some deeper scheme behind it.
He hadn't expected it to be something this simple, borrowing the road to conquer another state.
Back when they went to Konoha, they tried to abduct the Nine-Tails' jinchūriki, only to end up facilitating a moonlit princess carry. And now they had come here to kidnap the Seven-Tails' jinchūriki.
When he used to read doujinshi, Shiromo often felt the Raikage was treated unfairly.
The Raikage was clearly a rough, straight-laced man who wasn't interested in women, so how did he end up becoming the stereotypical doujinshi protagonist just because he was a dark-skinned, blond, muscular guy?
Now that he thought about it, it wasn't that the Raikage didn't want to cuck others.
It was just that he didn't want women, he wanted jinchūriki, and other villages' bloodline limits.
The Seven-Tails' jinchūriki, Fū, blinked her eyes. By the light of lightning on the Raikage's arm, she clearly saw Shiromo's appearance. A blush spread across her cheeks.
"Kid, I don't recognize you. You're not from Iwagakure?"
The Raikage spoke.
"He's a mercenary I hired."
Kurotsuchi answered from behind.
"A mercenary? Heh, don't tell me…"
"Get paid, but die before you can spend it, right? Can't you come up with a new line?"
"…"
"Raikage, do you know your father's Hell Stab: One-Finger Thrust?"
"Hmph, you've heard of my father's reputation?"
"Yes or no."
"No. But dealing with you doesn't require One-Finger Thrust, Two-Finger Thrust…"
"Then how about Vocational College Thrust?"
"?"
"Technical School Thrust?"
"..."
"Don't tell me you don't even have Elementary School Thrust?"
"With such a low level of education, no wonder all you think about is coming to Takigakure to snatch jinchūriki, without realizing this is a perfect opportunity for Kumogakure's development."
Shiromo released his grip on the Raikage's arm, and the Raikage seized the chance to pull it back.
"What do you mean?"
The Raikage frowned and asked.
"When I heard that you declared war on Iwagakure, I thought you did it on purpose, planning to lose once on purpose."
"So that everyone could see that Iwagakure, which had once been slaughtered by the Third Raikage until its talent pool was devastated, after just over a month of reform managed to rally all its ninja, unify the nation, and ensure a constant supply of resources."
"Kumogakure didn't lose because of strength, but because of logistics, morale, and systems."
"Then you could seize the opportunity to imitate the Tsuchikage's methods and push through new reforms."
"Not to mention abolishing the Land of Lightning's daimyo, but you could at least implement 'constitutional monarchy', shifting most power, especially control over resources, from the daimyo to the village and the Kage."
Shiromo's words made the Raikage sink into thought.
This was exactly what he wanted to achieve.
Yet he had never considered it from this angle, and now it was being pointed out by an enemy at this very moment.
"Thank you for the reminder. However, we still intend to take the Seven-Tails' jinchūriki back with us!"
The Raikage snapped back to his senses, thanked Shiromo, and struck again.
(End of this chapter)