Kitty had always believed that silence was kinder than chaos.
She believed it the way people believed old habits, without questioning where the belief came from. Silence meant no accusations. No misunderstandings. No scenes that left everyone embarrassed and bruised in ways that didn't heal properly.
Silence felt controlled.
That morning, she woke up before her alarm.
The dorm room was still dim, curtains half-drawn, the quiet heavy but familiar. Her phone buzzed faintly with notifications she didn't check right away. Instead, she stared at the ceiling and tried to identify the feeling sitting in her chest.
It wasn't heartbreak.
Not yet.
It was something duller. Something slower.
Like waiting for pain that had already decided it was coming.
She got ready carefully. Too carefully. Chose her clothes with intention, not vanity. Something neutral. Something that didn't invite interpretation. She tied her hair back instead of letting it fall loose.
When she looked at herself in the mirror, she practiced a small smile.
It worked.
It always did.
Campus 2 felt louder lately.
Not in sound, but in attention. Kitty noticed it as she walked toward the academic building. Conversations paused when she passed. Eyes flickered, then turned away. Phones were checked. Messages were typed.
She wasn't imagining it.
She had learned long ago how to read rooms.
In the lecture hall, she chose a seat near the aisle again, notebook ready, posture composed. XH arrived a few minutes later and hesitated when he saw where she was sitting.
That hesitation hurt more than if he had ignored her completely.
He sat behind her.
Not beside her.
Kitty focused on her notes.
She did not turn around.
From her seat, she could still feel him. His presence had a gravity she hadn't asked for but had learned to orbit anyway. She could sense when he shifted, when he leaned forward, when he stopped writing.
She wondered if he felt the same awareness.
She hoped he didn't.
The lecturer spoke about foundational theory, but Kitty absorbed only fragments. Her mind drifted, not to memories, but to patterns.
XH had always been like this.
Kind. Attentive. Gentle in ways that mattered.
And terrified of finality.
He didn't hurt people by choosing wrong.
He hurt them by not choosing at all.
During the break, Kitty stood and walked into the hallway alone. She pretended to scroll through her phone, but her attention snagged on a notification from a campus forum she hadn't joined on purpose.
AnonymousCampus2 – New Post
She shouldn't have opened it.
She did anyway.
Anyone else feel like Campus 2 is… off?Too many promises. Too much tuition. Not enough transparency.
Another comment followed beneath it.
My cousin says foundation campuses are scams. Fake certificates, real debt.
Kitty's fingers tightened slightly around her phone.
Rumors always started like this.
Soft. Speculative. Framed as concern.
She glanced around the hallway. Students stood in clusters, phones out, murmuring quietly. The air felt charged, like everyone had discovered something dangerous but didn't know how to name it yet.
XH stepped out of the classroom and spotted her immediately.
"Hey," he said, voice cautious. "You okay?"
Kitty locked her screen. "Yeah."
He studied her face, searching. "You sure?"
She smiled. "I'm sure."
That was the problem.
She was always sure.
They walked back into class without another word.
XH spent the rest of the day in what Kitty privately called retreat mode.
He laughed when spoken to. Answered questions. Helped PL with notes. Made a joke with TR at the right time. He did everything expected of him.
Except look at her.
Not directly.
Not long enough.
Not in a way that invited something real.
Kitty noticed because she always noticed.
During lunch, the group gathered as usual, but the mood felt different. Conversations overlapped awkwardly. TR tried too hard to be funny. PL scrolled through his phone more than he ate. JP typed furiously, expression tight.
"Have you guys seen this?" PL suddenly asked.
"Seen what?" HS asked.
PL turned his phone so they could see. "Campus forum. People are saying some wild stuff."
JP frowned. "Rumors travel faster than facts."
TR leaned in anyway. "Oh, this is juicy."
Kitty watched XH carefully.
He looked uncomfortable.
Not afraid.
Avoidant.
"That's probably nothing," XH said. "People always exaggerate."
Kitty caught the way his voice dropped at the end of the sentence, like he didn't fully believe it.
NS, sitting slightly apart, finally spoke. "Nothing starts as nothing."
The table quieted.
Kitty felt the weight of that sentence settle into her chest.
After lunch, the group drifted apart naturally. Kitty headed toward the library, craving quiet. XH slowed as if to follow, then stopped himself.
She noticed.
She always noticed.
Inside the library, Kitty chose a corner seat by the window. She opened her notebook but didn't write. Instead, she let her thoughts surface fully for the first time that day.
I am tired, she admitted silently.
Not tired of XH.
Tired of waiting for courage that wasn't hers to give.
She thought about the kiss. The softness of it. The sincerity. How real it had felt in the moment. How unreal it felt now, stretched thin by hesitation.
She wasn't angry.
That scared her more.
Anger would have meant something to fight.
Acceptance meant something ending quietly.
Her phone buzzed again.
Another forum notification.
Does anyone actually know if our degrees are valid internationally?
Kitty closed the app.
Fear changed people.
It made them cling. Or retreat. Or pretend love could replace certainty.
That evening, the group gathered in the common area out of habit. TR suggested ordering food. PL agreed immediately. TZ Royal flopped onto a couch, unbothered as ever.
Kitty arrived last.
XH stood when he saw her, then sat back down like he had forgotten why he stood in the first place.
She felt strangely calm.
This was clarity, she realized.
Not peace. Not resolution.
Just clarity.
"Kitty," XH said later, quietly, as she poured herself a drink. "Can we talk?"
She met his eyes.
There it was.
The question he always asked when things were already slipping.
"Not tonight," she said gently.
His expression flickered. "Okay."
That acceptance hurt in a different way.
Across the room, NS watched them, arms crossed, saying nothing.
TR clapped his hands suddenly. "Alright! Movie night. No thinking allowed."
Everyone agreed too quickly.
They needed distraction.
As the movie played, laughter filled the room at the right moments. Snacks were passed around. For a while, everything felt almost normal.
But Kitty didn't lean toward XH.
And XH didn't reach for her.
Later, as people drifted off one by one, Kitty stood near the doorway, ready to leave.
XH approached her one last time. "I don't want to lose you," he said quietly.
Kitty held his gaze steadily. "Then stop treating honesty like a threat."
He had no answer.
She nodded once, accepting that.
As she walked back to her dorm, phone buzzing again with rumors and speculation, Kitty realized something important.
Love didn't disappear when you stepped back.
It waited.
And waiting was the most dangerous thing of all.
Behind her, Campus 2 glowed softly in the night, its floors stacked neatly, its promises unspoken, its secrets beginning to stir.
And somewhere between fear of the future and fear of choosing, something fragile was preparing to break.
Not loudly.
But completely.