The land of Orvane sprawled beneath mountains like a kingdom that had forgotten its own name. It never had any ruler and now laid scattered with fools — bold fools, delusional fools, and fools so brilliant they disguised their genius because skill and art was a fool's play to them. A rusted crown lay half-buried beneath berry leaves outside our hero's town, unclaimed for generations as no one wanted the trouble. How it reached there, and who it belonged remains a mystery that no one is interested in solving.
On the remote edge of this town, surrounded by waving maize fields and livestock that looked equally confused by existence, stood an inn. Inside lived two of Orvane's most enthusiastic idiots.
"Awake, my apprentice! Today is the day we defeat time and earn glory!"
Sancio was a self proclaimed hero who called himself the only one powerful enough to challenge Amora
His apprentice "Jack" a 16 year old boy was supposedly trained by the greatest knight of his generation and according to Sancio,
"You need no more training boy, you are as fit as a sea rat to go"
Jack awoke with a bit of drool on his cheek, awakening like the usual mornings. His hair was a mess and his bed was worse. He for some reason slept with all his armor on.
"Ah, yes, yes! Just let me gather my witts, wherever I left them.."
He got up with a few clanks as his feet pressed the floor.
"Ugh.. so what to do now Sire?" He asks, his eyes half closed.
Sancio: "We need no wits here, leave it at your bed!! we just need muscles that you don't have. But don't worry I got you because together we will be going down in time as the laziest people alive. Bwahahaha"
Jack: "Oh does that sound great! Who needs witts when you go down in history and have brawns... which i shall soon get!"
He got up in a flash, almost knocking down a table. Arm raised up as if claiming glory
"Show us the way sire, and we may begin!". He stood there obediently, almost like a dog
They lived in a rather decent inn for their brawny heads to appreciate and were rather resistant to the poisonous rosary peas thanks to eating them as many as the times, the less dumb people at the inn warned them since they were 5 and 15.
Sancio: "Let's go out and have a nice snack .... and have bit of those tasty peas that no other thickheads dare to touch because they don't know what taste they are missing!!"
He stretched his body, well what he could with all his armor on, as he prepared himself for the day
"A snack seems pleasant, oh and don't get me started on those peas!"
"Actually.."
He turned to face Sancio
"Let's race to see who gets there first, last person is a rotten Rosary Pea!"
Sancio: "That's the spirit my boy!! But you can't defeat me at my own game"
He hurried along, rushing past anything or anyone in-front of him. Sancio, thinking himself clever, slammed Jack's room door shut to gain the lead. But destiny had stairs, and stairs had gravity. He slipped on the first step. His ankle snapped sideways like a rebellious twig. He tumbled, grinning the entire fall, and landed flat on his stomach with a heroic thud. Jack followed along and ran the same way down, only to laugh at Sancio.
"Haha! It seems I will be the vict-"
Before he could finish, he slipped mid-stair case, toppling down only to land near Sancio. Face planted deeply into the ground
"Ahhdjs upo jzbdod habs" he mumbled, a little snicker sneaking past.
At a table nearby sat Lady Vereyn. Her tea trembled in annoyance.
"Look at these dumb fools," she muttered, "disturbing my morning tea — which this mistress has failed to brew properly for fifteen years!"
Sancio came up to her with a salute.
"We are sorry madam, but I feel we are as responsible for your disturbance as these stairs that this fat mistress hasn't bothered to repair for the last 16 years!!"
Jack slowly rose up, his face dark and dirty from all the dirt he scraped off in his fall. He wiped his face vigorously trying to take it all off
"We could be killed running down those stairs, does she not know they pose a risk to children as well!"
After he was done vigorously scrubbing his face, he gathered his nerves and mind, which are probably nowhere to be found by now
"We are truly sorry however, please continue with your peace as twas madam!"
Mistress ignores the three of them as it's their daily ritual and nothing unordinary. She then goes back to preparing the breakfasts for the inn-mates. With renewed energy and absolutely no dignity, the duo burst outside into the fresh morning air.
Rosary peas, red and poisonous to everyone except them, grew on vines along the fence.
"We are going to have a feast greater than ever today" Sancio announced.
Clockwork was the loyal servant of Lady Vereyn. He used to manage her luxurious lifestyle riddled by her clumsy pace and fumbled speech. Her days were a struggle against her own two feet even on the flattest floors. While others worried about destiny and glory, she was too busy tripping into chairs and accidentally setting social situations on fire. Her husband was in Amer, she was here, forgotten in the quiet spaces of other people's lives.
On one hand, Jack was stuffing his pockets, on the other, he was stuffing his face
"Dis aor reely gud peaes, we wil hav goood fest San!-" He filled his mouth to the brink of no longer being able to speak. Chewing along as his entire mouth and lips were painted by them. Also, he kept adding on peas to one of his pockets that had a hole. They all kept falling.
The lady saw them munching the pees gleefully as they re-entered the inn. They were laughing and talking about something nothing sort of important. The curiosity was too much for her to sip her tea peacefully in a corner. She carefully leaned herself towards them to have just a quick look. One of the peas rolled towards her and gave her a chance to inspect them. She exhaled sharply, set down her cup, and stood with determination.
"Just peas," she whispered to herself.
She glided toward them with her chin raised high. Then out of nowhere, her heel met a stray rosary pea rolling across the floor. Her dignity evaporated. She flung her arms outward like a startled pigeon and face-planted onto the wooden floor with a thud, sliding a full foot before stopping.
Clockwork came rushing out from the other side of the room and helped his mistress gather herself, carefully removing the hot tea from her surroundings; tea-burn is the most common injury she has all over gown and fingers so much that her hands are as thick as a fire shield.
"Madam, carefully step on your right foot and then your left as you have better holding on your right foot" he said while holding her by her arms.
Lady Vereyn muttered through clenched teeth. "Fools! Imbeciles! Floor-goblins! Pea-hoarding simpletons!"
Sancio scratched his chin. "Is she speaking to us?".
Jack nodded solemnly. "Possibly, as her eyes are looking straight at you, sir."
After Clockwork tugged her upright with a polite yet deeply exhausted sigh, Lady Vereyn inhaled sharply, regaining her seemingly aristocratic poise.
She marched straight toward the idiots.
"Give me those peas," she hissed.
Jack blinked. "You want—these peas?". Sancio leaned forward, suspicious.
"Nobody wants these peas. Except us. Noble folks like you won't even like the taste"
"I don't care!" she snapped.
"I demand— a taste."
Her hand darted and she snatched a handful of peas right from Jack's palm. Before any person from inn who she considered even remotely sane or regal enough for her could explain her about the dangers of those peas, she gulped nearly every pea she could in one go.
"Yuck, what a rotten taste!! I wonder if you fools even have tongues to taste food. aah"
The mistress came running to her and shouted directly on lady's face
"Madam, those peas are poisonous enough to kill an elephant. If you will to live old enough to see your husband, you need to vomit those peas immediately!!"
Vereyn gasped in fear and tried all her might to let out of those peas out of her throat but she was unsuccessful"
Sancio shouts to Jack "Get ready Boy, we gotta save a lady".
Jack and Sancio sprang into heroic chaos.
"Don't swallow! Don't swallow!" Jack yelled.
"Bend over! Bend over!" Sancio instructed.
The two launched themselves at her, leaping onto her back, patting, smacking, thumping with all the strength they could muster.
Lady Vereyn gagged. A single pea launched from her mouth like a cannonball.
Then another.
And another.
She collapsed onto a chair, panting dramatically, fanning herself. Sancio stepped back, hands on hips.
"Well, madam, now you see, fun snacks come with danger."
Jack nodded energetically.
"And holes in pockets."
Someone clapped in a distance. Lady Vereyn now visibly red cleared her throat.
"Couldn't have expected any better than from you, but... Thank you all right but I don't owe you any favor, as it's partially your fault for bringing poison right to me. Umm.. but thank you, I can't imagine not being able to see my husband. I won't mind if you join my tea"
Then Sancio shrugged.
"Why not? Heroes must socialize sometimes."
Jack cheered with a huge smile.
"Trying to feel brave, lad?" a voice Jack has never heard seemed to seem directly from behind him.
"Uhh, I ain't need anything to feel brave. I already brave."
"Haha, you are no less fool than your master"
"My master isn't any fool, he is a Hero who will defeat Amora himself"
"Haha....."....
Sancio shouted at Jack "The tea won't wait for you, come quick"
Jack sighed "Coming..."