[Author: I'm going to slow down a bit form now on....]
The instant my training finished, my first instinct was to leave.
A polite bow, as i turn to leave for my next target.
No... I bolted.
My body reacted before my brain caught up. Energy snapped into place, space folding instinctively as I prepared to vanish, my thoughts already racing to go back to King Kai, to help me find my next target.
Bulma, Gohan and Krillin are on their way to namek, where the biggest jumps in power levels in whole show.
And me?
Here i am stuck in Heaven.
I twisted my wrist, focusing on the sensation of Ki of King Kai...and...found it.
And then something grabbed me.
Firm.
Shockingly strong for something so small.
I stopped dead.
"…What," I said slowly, "did you just stopped my Ki?"
I looked down.
A green hand was wrapped around my arm.
Wrinkled.
The Yardrat elder.
Defgh.
He looked up at me, eyes half-lidded, expression unreadable.
"Slow down, Ben, what's the rush," he said.
"I don't have time to slow down," I replied, trying , and failing, to pull my arm free. "I appreciate everything you've taught me, truly, but people are about to fly directly into the worst situation imaginable with the confidence of someone who's never been punched by an alien Overlord."
Defgh did not let go.
Instead, he smiled.
That was somehow worse.
"You are rushing," he said gently, "and rushing leads to mistakes."
"I am very aware," I said. "That's why I'm leaving."
That's when I felt the second hand.
This one grabbed my other arm.
I froze.
"Oh no."
I turned my head.
Another Yardrat elder stood there, shorter, rounder, wearing soft green robes with embroidered patterns along the sleeves. His grip was firm, his smile polite in the way only someone who absolutely intended to win could manage.
"You are tense," he said kindly. "That will not do."
"I am always tense," I said flatly.
Before either of us could respond, I felt a gentle but unstoppable pressure at my back.
And then....
I was sitting.
Placed.
On a cushion, like a doll.
A very comfortable cushion.
I blinked.
"…when did you..?"
"Tea," said a third voice.
I looked up.
A third Yardrat elder, Lasfe, was already pouring tea.
Steam rose.
The scent was warm, floral, inviting.
I stared at it like it was a loaded weapon.
"This feels illegal," I muttered.
Defgh released my arm and took a seat across from me.
Jiurw, the second elder, sat to my left, hands folded, posture perfect.
Lasfe sat to my right, already pushing a cup into my hands.
"Drink," he said.
"I really shouldn't..."
"It will help you relax."
I hesitated.
Then I took a sip.
…Oh.
Oh no.
It was perfect tea and i hated tea [USA].
Not too sweet. Not too bitter. Warm in a way that seeped into my bones.
"…You drugged this," I accused.
Lasfe laughed. "Only with comfort."
I slumped back against the cushion.
"I have places to be," I said weakly.
"And you will go," Defgh said. "After you stop vibrating."
I clenched my jaw.
"This is kidnapping."
Jiurw raised an eyebrow. "This is hospitality."
"I want my lawyer," I said.
At some point, I still don't know when, snacks appeared.
Small pastries.
Fruit.
Something that tasted like honey and memory.
I ate them without thinking.
Which was mistake number two.
It began innocently.
"So," Lasfe said, sipping her tea. "this Bulma girl."
My soul attempted to flee my body.
"…What about Bulma."
"is she pretty?," Jiurw said.
"She is impatient," I added.
"Sooo, how did you two meet..?," Lasfe said approvingly.
I blinked.
"…Why do you want to know that."
Lasfe waved his hand. " Info like that, is very informative."
I swallowed.
"Can we… not talk about this."
"No," Jiurw said calmly.
And just like that, I was doomed.
They asked about everything.
Bulma's fashion sense.
Her taste in men.
Her emotional patterns.
Her tendency to fall for the danger type rather than stability type.
Krillin's anxiety.
Gohan's kindness.
Even Yamcha came up.
"Emotionally inconsistent," Jiurw said.
Lasfe sighed. "But handsome."
I stared at the sky, wishing for death.
"I died being vaporized by Vegeta," I said quietly. "This is worse."
They ignored me.
They debated human romance like scholars dissecting ancient texts.
At one point, Jiurw leaned forward.
"You," she said, pointing at me. "have dated anyone yet little boy..?."
I froze.
Lasfe nodded. " that face says everything."
Defgh spoke softly. "Dont worry, it will get better."
I exhaled, as i knew, if i tried to leave, they would teleport me back here.
Mins passed.
And than Hours.
And than Days.
Time had ceased to matter.
They talked about tea blends.
About clothes.
About why beauty made life harder than necessary.
About how Men were "emotionally honest but catastrophically irresponsible."
And then it hit me.
Like a Spirit Bomb to the brain.
These weren't mystical elders imparting ancient wisdom.
These were old ladies, not dudes.
Cosmic, immortal, spirit-mastering old ladies.
And I was stuck.
I whispered it.
"…I'm trapped in a gossip circle."
Defgh smiled serenely.
"Acceptance is the final stage."
"I miss dying," I said.
Eventually, the talking slowed.
The tea cooled.
The snacks dwindled.
Jiurw leaned back.
"You have learned power," she said. "And control."
Lasfe smiled. "But there is a price for power, sadly."
Defgh met my eyes.
I swallowed.
They weren't Done.
That annoyed me deeply.
Finally, Defgh stood.
"You may go."
I shot to my feet so fast space rippled.
Lasfe patted my arm. "Breathe."
Jiurw smirked. "And tell Bulma we liked her boots."
"I will erase this memory," I said.
They laughed.
I vanished.
As space folded around me, one thought echoed in my mind.
I had trained with gods [King Kai].
I had mastered legendary techniques.
I had died yo Bloodly Saiyans.
But nothing, nothing, prepared me for three undead old ladies with tea and opinions, i now understand Master Roshi better.
And somehow…
I felt calmer.
Which was unacceptable.
Ben's power level: 25,006