At noon the next day.
After class, Ichinose still had Student Council work, and it would be difficult to explain the situation over the phone.
As expected, the lunch break was the most suitable time.
As the bell rang for the end of class, Hikigaya took a deep breath.
If this continued, it would likely affect the exam and Ichinose's performance.
That won't do.
He didn't know much about emotional matters.
But after listening to "Hero" Kanzaki's lecture, he did feel that he was somewhat in the wrong.
Ichinose had indeed confessed to him out of gratitude.
Even so.
He had to state his own reasons properly.
Otherwise.
It really would be unfair.
After the teacher left the classroom, several girls pushed their tables together and gathered around Ichinose to enjoy lunch.
They usually made their own bento.
And Hikigaya generally ate lunch in the club.
It was undoubtedly the best time.
Taking a deep breath.
Hikigaya walked silently behind Ichinose and the others.
Sensing the encouraging looks from Kobashi Yume, Amikura Mako, and the others across from him, he couldn't help but feel a bit ashamed.
"Cough, cough..."
Hikigaya coughed a few times, looked to the side, and spoke:
"Ichinose, I have something to tell you. Can I borrow a bit of your time?"
"Eh?"
Hearing his voice, Ichinose's shoulders shook; she was clearly startled, and her heart beat even faster.
"Okay."
Nodding.
Ichinose packed her bento and followed Hikigaya out of the classroom.
Neither of them spoke first, nor did they ask about the destination. Ichinose carried her bento and followed behind Hikigaya with her head down like a young bride.
Until they arrived at the Sheep Club.
"Hiki-kun."
Ichinose lowered her head, looking a bit shy.
Even though the other person had already rejected her.
Why was her heart still beating so fast?
The heart-wrenching pain from the day before yesterday felt as if it were fake; she felt instantly healed, even happier, just by having Hikigaya talk to her.
"Is there something you want to say to me..."
"That... sit down first."
Hikigaya hesitated for a moment and pointed to an empty seat in the room. He felt more at ease sitting down.
Upon hearing this.
Ichinose followed his suggestion, placed the bento box on the table, and sat in the seat. Hikigaya sat opposite her.
"Phew..."
Hikigaya took a deep breath.
Whether it was a rejection or an acceptance.
He couldn't unilaterally deny Ichinose's feelings. He had to state his own true thoughts.
"I'm sorry..."
Hikigaya pressed his hands against his thighs, lowered his head, and said in a heavy voice:
"The reason for the rejection isn't that there's anything wrong with you, Ichinose. It's that I want something 'genuine'..."
"Eh? Something genuine?"
Ichinose couldn't help but look up, a bit confused.
What exactly was that?
"I can't explain it well either."
Hikigaya hesitated; it seemed he had to explain, and since it was the kind-hearted Ichinose, it shouldn't be much of a problem.
"Actually..."
Hikigaya forced a smile and said:
"I'm not as strong as you guys imagine, and I'm not as good as Kobashi and the others say I am."
"The reason you confessed to me, Ichinose, is probably that you don't know me well enough."
He wasn't particularly embarrassed about it.
The amount of time he and Ichinose had spent together was short. In terms of the number of meetings, it couldn't even compare to Kobashi Yume and the others.
Ichinose was simply deceived by a filter of gratitude.
"To be honest, I often don't know what girls are thinking."
Hikigaya's tone couldn't help but turn bitter:
"Because ignorance is a great fear, I always want to understand the other person. I'll take the conclusions I've come to and arbitrarily impose them on the other person, believing I've understood them."
"Just like they said, it's a very arrogant way of thinking."
"However, even though I'm imposing my thoughts on the other person, it's only to gain peace of mind for myself."
Saying it out loud.
Hikigaya couldn't help but let out a self-deprecating laugh.
Kanzaki had already seen through his essence. Probably even Kobashi Yume and the others had seen it too.
Yet no one despised him; they really were a group of kind people.
It was exactly as Kanzaki had said.
Attributing the reason for the rejection to Ichinose was just a way for him to gain peace of mind.
His words were all about fairness for the other person.
But his heart was full of selfish, arbitrary, and dirty thoughts.
It was truly shameless and pathetic; even he himself felt disgusted by his own thoughts.
"I'm just that kind of selfish, arbitrary, and arrogant person."
No matter how Ichinose saw it.
The reason couldn't be blamed on the other person; he could only find it within himself.
"But even so, I want something genuine."
"Really..."
A smile couldn't help but appear at the corner of Ichinose's mouth.
Although it wasn't that exaggerated, she had long known Hikigaya was that kind of person.
Whether it was the rumors or the exam.
Hikigaya would use his own way to forcefully push events forward, not giving anyone a chance to argue or intervene.
He truly was arbitrary and arrogant.
Ichinose had known this for a long time, but as for being "selfish," she absolutely could not agree.
That didn't matter.
Just knowing that Hikigaya cared about this relationship and that everyone around her was worried about her was enough.
"I'm sorry."
Ichinose said apologetically: "I made everyone worry. Don't worry, I definitely won't let it affect the exam."
"Ah, oh."
Hikigaya nodded involuntarily.
The kind-hearted Ichinose indeed didn't mind, which truly made him feel much lighter.
At the very least.
Ichinose's expression also looked much more relaxed than before, so his "self-introduction" could be considered to have worked.
"Also."
Ichinose scratched the hair near her ear and said apologetically:
"I still don't quite understand what 'something genuine' is..."
"Oh."
Hikigaya quickly raised his hand and said with some embarrassment: "I can't explain it very clearly myself either. Don't take it to heart."
"Hmm..."
Ichinose slowly shook her head.
Even though she didn't understand.
It must be something very important to Hikigaya.
"Please give me a bit of time. I will definitely think it over and give you an answer then."
"Eh? You really don't need to worry about it."
Hikigaya quickly stood up, his expression somewhat unnatural.
Even after hearing such "disgusting" words, the kind-hearted Ichinose still couldn't leave him alone. She really was too kind.
But with Ichinose being so serious, it also made things a bit difficult for him.
"That's not it."
Ichinose shook her head:
"Actually, you're right, Hiki-kun. I might really have only fallen in love with you because of gratitude, so I also want to figure out what 'something genuine' is."
"I just can't figure it out for now. I need a little time."
"For now, let me focus on the exam. Hiki-kun, what are you going to do about lunch?"
As she spoke.
Ichinose pursed her lips a bit apologetically.
Wasn't she the same?
Liking Hikigaya because of gratitude was surely unfair to him too, wasn't it?
Even.
Before the confession.
Ichinose hadn't even thought she would be rejected, which is why she had made such an unprepared and perfunctory confession, right?
Wasn't that also her own arrogance?
That heart-wrenching pain might be the price she had to pay.
Therefore.
She also wanted to find that answer properly.
Whether she truly liked Hikigaya Hachiman.
Or if it really was as he said.
Just simple gratitude, just for simple repayment.
Whether for him or for her.
The answer was necessary.
"Oh, I'm going to the cafeteria to buy something."
Hearing Ichinose's words, Hikigaya responded awkwardly.
Why did he feel like he had done something wrong and seemed to have caused Ichinose new trouble?
But.
As expected of Ichinose, she was able to distinguish between what was important and what wasn't.
The exam was more important right now.
"Is that so?"
"Then I'll head back to the classroom first!"
"Hiki-kun, make sure you prepare for the exam with peace of mind too."
Ichinose regained her full vitality and left the club with her bento.
Leaving the club.
Ichinose covered her heart, which had begun to beat again, and a smile unconsciously appeared on her face.
Actually.
She already understood the answer. This answer could not be false.
He just needed an answer that would convince Hikigaya.
That answer.
She would definitely find it.