Real world.
At Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, staring at the messages in the chat group, Zhongli completely lost his composure.
His 6,000 years of mental fortitude shattered in that instant.
Zhongli stared at Furina's profile picture in the chat group, black lines covering his forehead.
Does this young Water God have some serious illness?!
"Sigh..."
Zhongli let out a long sigh, his expression pained.
He couldn't just say that he was actually Rex Lapis, right?
Meanwhile, at Wuwang Slope.
Hu Tao, who had just finished her work, was dumbfounded.
She stared at the chat group in shock, feeling utterly wronged.
Although she did want to revitalize Wangsheng Funeral Parlor and take in more customers, it definitely wouldn't be in this way!
"Assassinating Rex Lapis? As if Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is that capable!"
"If we were that good, would I, the director, have to do the work myself?"
Hu Tao pouted, swinging her fair little legs and kicking roadside pebbles in frustration.
And at Mondstadt Windrise.
Venti clutched his stomach, nearly laughing himself unconscious.
"Ouch, this is too hilarious!"
"Wangsheng Funeral Parlor as the mastermind behind assassinating the Geo Archon!"
Venti laughed until tears streamed down his face, looking up at Gu Chen and asking, "Do you think that's possible?"
"Hard to say."
Gu Chen shook his head.
It depended on the perspective of analysis.
At least Furina's analysis was from an outsider's viewpoint—though it seemed absurd, there was a tiny shred of logic to it, albeit not much.
On the other hand, Zhongli had faked his own death and orchestrated everything himself, so it wasn't wrong to say he did it.
"Let's watch the video." Gu Chen smiled and said, "From what we've seen so far, the truth is often unexpected."
In the video.
The trio and Zhongli set off together to gather the items needed for the Rite of Descension.
Their first stop was Jie Cui Hang.
"Noctilucous Jade, at least Candlelight Grade." Zhongli spoke up.
"Candlelight Grade Noctilucous Jade? So not just tourists, but experts! My apologies, my apologies!" The boss was stunned for a moment before hurriedly fetching the goods.
The three pieces of Noctilucous Jade looked exceptionally beautiful, unlike the usual mined ones.
"You can't fully trust a gambling stone boss." Lumine whispered a reminder.
Gu Chen nodded and looked at Zhongli, who nodded back. "Very good, you've grasped a bit of the survival rules in the trade capital."
"What's your opinion?" Gu Chen, not knowledgeable about stones, asked smoothly.
"Oh? You want me to decide?"
Zhongli was slightly surprised before saying, "Very good. If I may, the answer is actually quite simple..."
"Hm? The answer is...?"
"Boss, I'll take them all."
Zhongli looked up at the boss, his calm words and imposing demeanor exuding pure dominance!
[Hu Tao]: !!! Consultant, is this how you usually spend my Mora?! (Hu Tao · Intimidated)
[Tartaglia]: Miss Hu Tao, I know you're anxious, but calm down first. This is spending my past life's Mora—mine! (Tighnari · Heard it, both ears heard it)
[Mona]: How can someone be so rich! (Mona · So hungry)
[Kaeya]: Looks like Mr. Zhongli is quite the big spender usually. (Smirk)
[Venti]: Kinda jealous now. (Venti · Starry eyes)
Why could this old man say something so arrogant so calmly?
As the creator of Mora, he had endless amounts of it, right?!
Venti was officially envious.
In the video.
After some discussion among the four, Zhongli realized he hadn't thought it through.
Buying all three types would cost three times the Mora, but the rite only needed one.
The saved Mora could buy Paimon tons of delicious food.
Since only one was needed, they should pick the best. The four took samples to a safe spot for testing.
They reached a conclusion and returned to Jie Cui Hang. Upon learning the Noctilucous Jade was for the Rite of Descension, the boss sighed over Rex Lapis's passing and offered the box at half price.
Having been beaten by Gu Chen earlier, Tartaglia's funding was generous.
Payment made, Noctilucous Jade secured, next up: buying Nishang Flowers to make Incense Paste.
Ying'er's performance during the process was truly eye-catching.
[Coral Palace Kokomi]: Feels kinda weird!
[Nilou]: She better really be talking about making Incense Paste!
[Barbara]: (Barbara · Blushing)
[Kaeya]: (Smirk)
[Gu Chen]: (Smirk)
[Venti]: Time to offer Incense Paste. Which one will Rex Lapis like? All three are for girls~ (Smirk)
[Granny Ping]: Hard to say.
[Zhongli]: ...
What? What do you mean!
Are you all singling me out?
In the video.
"First one: Golden House Treasures, dreamy and sweet, little girls' favorite."
No reaction from the statue after a glance.
"Second: Mountains of Splendor, luxurious and noble, rich young ladies' favorite."
Still no reaction from the statue.
"Third: Ethereal Immortal Fate, light fragrance that lingers long, misty and朦胧, most popular with mature women. Wait, the statue's reacting!"
Paimon pointed at the statue.
Gu Chen glanced at it and said, "Looks like Rex Lapis is quite fond of it."
"Isn't that the type mature big sisters use?" Paimon was stunned.
Lumine let her imagination run wild, staring at the clearly male statue. "What if Rex Lapis is actually a big sister?"
"Hahaha... who knows." Zhongli chuckled dryly upon hearing this, then continued, "Rex Lapis has countless incarnations; perhaps one truly exists like that."
[Keqing]: Aaaah, I wanna see what Emperor big sister looks like! (Xiangling · Starry eyes)
[Xiangling]: Legend has it the Emperor has incarnations as a big sister... If only I could see it with my own eyes!
[Guoba]: (Xiangling · Starry eyes)
[Venti]: Big sister! Yay! (Klee · Yay)
[Klee]: (Klee · Yay)
[Furina]: (Klee · Yay)
[Gu Chen]: The Venti next to me is about to die! His dream is to see Rex Lapis big sister incarnation before he goes. Great Rex Lapis, grant his dying wish! (Klee · Please)
[Venti]: Huh?
[Venti withdrew a message]
[Venti]: Ah! So painful! My whole body's twitching uncontrollably, I'm vomiting blood nonstop... I might really be dying... (Exhausted, weak voice fading into feeble gasps, 5s voice message)
[Rahu Dragon King]: Morax, you dead yet? If not, come out in drag and open my eyes!
[Osel]: Wanna see!
[Granny Ping]: Wanna see!
[Cloud Retainer]: Wanna see!
[Demon Conqueror Great Sage]: I... I wanna see too.
[Yae Miko]:
[Paimon]: Pics now! (Klee · Please)
[Lumine]: If I can't see the mature big sis Emperor, it'll be my lifelong regret!!
Aren't you all sick?!
I can't stay in this damn group another day!
Zhongli was numb.