As I scrolled through the bundle of sheets in my arms, my fingers tightening around the edges, my eyes moved slowly from line to line.
The pages rustled softly each time I turned one, the sound loud in the quiet room. My shoulders were tense, my back straight, like I was bracing for something painful.
Then something caught my attention.
"I would be denied all rights to the child?" I asked, raising my head slowly so it could meet his gaze.
My voice came out weaker than I intended. I tilted my head slightly, my brows knitting together as I searched his face for anything—hesitation, sympathy, doubt.
Raisem leaned back in his chair, the leather creaking under his weight. His jaw tightened, and he exhaled through his nose as if already exhausted by the conversation.
"Everything you see there is exactly how the contract will be. Sign it and if you're still being double minded speak up and don't waste my time." He said.
As he spoke, his fingers tapped once, twice against the armrest, his eyes fixed on me but distant, like he was already done.
My grip on the papers loosened. One page slid slightly out of place.
"Isn't that just like a surrogate mother, I give you a child and then we cut off all contact." I said.
I gestured faintly with the papers as I spoke, my hands trembling just a little. My lips pressed together afterward, waiting.
He didn't reply anymore.
The silence stretched. He looked away, his attention drifting to the window, shutting me out completely.
I swallowed hard and lowered my gaze back to the papers, though the words blurred together. My chest felt tight as thoughts crowded my head.
Am I really ready for this?
My shoulders sagged slightly as the weight of it all settled in. Giving birth. Carrying a child. Then walking away like nothing happened.
I was still drowning in those thoughts when my phone rang in my hand. The vibration startled me, making me flinch. I stared at the screen for a second before answering.It was the woman from the hospital.
"Ma'am, please we need you to come claim your mother's body in the morgue." The woman said.
My fingers went numb. The phone felt heavier. I stopped breathing for a moment.
The meaning hit slowly, painfully.
My mother was dead.
My knees weakened and I grabbed the edge of the table for support. I hadn't noticed the tears until one dropped onto the papers in my hand.
I was a horrible daughter. I couldn't even save her life.
Raisem raised his brows slightly, watching me closely now as I stood frozen.
"Can I ask you for a favour?" I whispered, my lips trembling, tears filling my eyes.
******
It took me an hour to arrive at the hospital.
The moment the car stopped, I rushed out, nearly slamming the door behind me. My steps were hurried and unsteady, my heart pounding painfully in my chest.
"Finally you're here. Please do the needful." The nurse said calmly, her eyes brushing past Raisem.
She turned back to me and took my hands gently, squeezing them.
"I'm sorry for your loss." She added.
I nodded stiffly, pressing my lips together to stop them from shaking.
The morgue door opened with a dull sound. Cold air rushed over my skin. I stepped forward slowly, each step heavier than the last. I requested to see my mother one last time.
"Mum." I muttered, reaching out slightly before my hand dropped to my side.
She didn't respond.
The tears burst out of me. My body shook violently as a sob came from my chest. My knees gave way, but the nurse held me firmly.
Raisem stood back at the reception, hands in his pockets, his expression closed off. I glanced at him through blurry eyes, wishing foolishly that he would come closer.
He didn't.
After crying until my chest ached, I walked back to the reception. Raisem sat on a chair, phone in hand. When he looked up, his gaze paused on my swollen eyes.
"Let's go." I said.
He nodded.
Outside, we walked side by side. I stopped in front of the car, my shoulders trembling as fresh tears spilled.
I wiped my face quickly, but then noticed a white handkerchief extended toward me.
I stared at it.
"Just take it and wipe your face. I don't want people thinking I beat you up." He said.
I took it carefully and dabbed my eyes, but the tears refused to stop.
He stepped closer, his hand landing gently on my back.
"It's okay, let it out." He said.
Something inside me broke.
I moved closer to him, resting my head under his chest as I cried. My hands clenched the fabric of his shirt.
He froze, his hand hovering before dropping back to his side, but he didn't push me away.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"Can we go somewhere?" I asked, stepping back.
******
He drove quietly.
We stopped for a few minutes at the gas station, I watched him pump fuel. The wind lifted his ginger hair, brushing strands across his face, softening his sharp features. Even in my grief, my eyes followed him.
When he returned back into the car, he held out a bottled water.
"Thank you." I said, taking it and drinking everything at once.
His brows lifted slightly as he watched.
"Thank you." I added, embarrassed.
When we arrived at the familiar gate, my hands clenched on my lap. The memories rushed back in, this was once my family house, a place I could call home.
I once lived here, happily with my mum and dad but things changed since that old witch decided to destroy our sweet home.
"Please don't come along." I said, opening the door quickly.
I saw the mansion, the place I grew up in, I forced a smile and entered anyways.
Inside the mansion, my breath caught.
"Ara?" My dad whispered In shock.
"Hey, dad." I said, forcing a smile through tears.
"What is she doing here? That flirt, baby she shouldn't be here. Just going to inflict us with her suffering and badluck." Allison the witch said, clutching his arm.
My father cheated on my mum, it was all her plan. Now she's his new wife.
"What are you doing here?" My father said, how voice firm.
"You can't even welcome me, after all these years, you just forgot about mum and I." I said forcing a smile. "Mum is dead and I hope you're happy."I added.
His expression changed, he looked shock a bit worried.
I'm sorry Ara. Look, I got the money, she is dead now, just use this money to take care of yourself please and hold a proper burial for her." He said bringing out a cheque.
When he handed me the cheque, I stared at it for a second—then tore it slowly.
"I don't need your money. I didn't come for your sympathy either, I came to break all bonds between us and to tell you, you're no longer my father." I said and walked out.
He didn't try to stop me. I was stupid for coming anyways, I thought it would relieve the pain I was feeling but nothing worked. It hurts like hell telling my father he was no longer my father.
I walked towards the fountain, I sat shaking. I couldn't hold the tears, the family my mum had fought for, for years is ruined and she's gone. I was the only one left and don't even know how to survive this crazy world.
My eyes were blurry and I sensed someone behind me.
"My hands ache." The voice said, firm and gentle.
I looked up and took the chocolate bars Raisem was holding.
"Thank you." I said, smiling faintly. As we both locked eyes, I saw something, it flickered for just a moment but what I saw was real.
That look. Then I whispered.
"I'll sign the contract but on one condition."