"Hmph… good thing I didn't join the 11th Division."
Fūjin Taichi watched Abarai Renji and the others gradually disappear from sight and thought to himself:
That entire division is overflowing with bromance—way too much to look at directly…
"Taichi!"
Kuchiki Rukia, who had already left, suddenly turned back and called out to him.
"Huh?"
"I almost forgot to tell you—Lord Kaien has invited us to the Shiba household for a dinner banquet on Friday night!"
"A banquet? Why would they suddenly hold a banquet for no reason…"
Taichi muttered to himself, when suddenly a chill ran down his spine.
Wait… Kaien wouldn't be planning to set me up on a blind date with Shiba Kūkaku, would he?
But that woman looks almost exactly like Kurosaki Ichigo!
If I dated her, I'd probably end up with psychological trauma!
And besides—I like Kuchiki Rukia!
Even though she's flat…
Even though her personality is weird…
Even though she has an extremely troublesome older brother…
I still can't help liking her!!
So… what should I do?
Go or not go?
Fūjin Taichi fell into deep thought, his expression constantly shifting—frowning, pouting, shaking his head and sighing in turns…
"Hey, Taichi!"
Noticing his strange expression, Rukia snorted and said coldly,
"Stop overthinking things! Lord Kaien just wants to hold a farewell-to-singlehood banquet before getting married, that's all!"
"Huh? Kaien is getting married?!"
Taichi froze for a moment, then broke into a delighted smile.
"That's great! After all this time, I finally did one good thing!"
What Taichi meant by "one good thing" was this:
After transmigrating into Bleach, he had changed the original plot in which Shiba Miyako and Shiba Kaien were killed by Metastacia, successfully averting that tragedy.
Strictly speaking, from the very first day Taichi entered the world of Bleach, he had been directly or indirectly altering the original storyline:
For example, during the initial Soul Burial training—in the original canon, among that batch of trainee Shinigami, aside from Hisagi Shūhei's group of four, not a single person survived…
Yet through Taichi's "enduring humiliation just to stay alive," he not only changed his own destined death, but also managed to keep Kasumiōji Hōko and Tsunayashiro Tokio alive as well—
Although the two of them were now almost in a strange kind of "cold war" with Taichi, slowly drifting toward the state of becoming "familiar strangers"…
"Alright! Message delivered—I'm heading back now!"
Rukia shrugged, took a few steps toward the Kuchiki manor, then suddenly turned around again and flashed Taichi a mischievous smile.
"Oh right, Taichi—don't forget… bring a gift~"
"Huh?! I have to bring a gift too?!"
Taichi exclaimed in shock. He searched his entire body and found only 100 kan left.
He immediately forced a bitter smile.
"Rukia, I gave all my money to Heizo… can you lend me some?"
"Stop daydreaming! Every single kan I have already has a purpose—no loans!"
Rukia flatly rejected him, while thinking to herself:
Sorry, Taichi, but my brother already had my monthly pay transferred directly from the 13th Division accounts to the Kuchiki treasury under the excuse that 'my sister is young and her finances shall be temporarily managed by the head of the house.' I don't have a single coin left...
"Alright then, I'll ask someone else."
Taichi thought for a moment—he didn't actually have many friends in Soul Society:
Abarai Renji—although he was the 6th Seat of the 11th Division, ever since he started hanging around Madarame Ikkaku and Ayasegawa Yumichika, there was no way he'd have even a single coin on him—
A reckless idiot with zero saving habits like that was definitely poorer than Taichi himself. If he asked Renji for money, it'd probably turn into Renji borrowing from him instead!!
Kira Izuru—currently still serving as the 3rd Seat of the 5th Division, earning more than Taichi, and coming from a fallen noble family within Seireitei—he definitely had money—
But if he wanted to find him, he'd have to go to the 5th Division.
And if he went to the 5th Division, there was a chance he'd run into Aizen.
The moment Fūjin Taichi imagined Aizen adjusting his black-rimmed glasses, wearing that gentle, smiling, completely harmless-looking expression—
Taichi instantly chickened out.
Hinamori Momo…
As the 10th Seat of the 5th Division, she probably had some money, but Taichi didn't dare step foot in the 5th Division either—for the exact same reason.
Kuchiki Rukia…
He had just tried. A complete "iron rooster." Trying to pry money out of her would probably be harder than achieving Bankai…
As for—
Tsunayashiro…
Kasumiōji…
The moment Taichi thought of those two, he reflexively shrugged, immediately dismissed the ridiculous idea, and stroked his chin in thought.
Looks like… I can only borrow money from Kaien.
…
"What?!"
Shiba Kaien couldn't help shouting out loud. He stared at Fūjin Taichi as if he were a sinner crawling out of hell—shocked and baffled.
"What?" Taichi asked.
"Taichi, what the hell are you thinking?!"
Kaien shook his head.
"You borrow money from me—and then use it to give me a wedding gift? Then whose gift is it supposed to be?!"
"Of course it counts as mine!"
Taichi said seriously.
"Kaien, I'll pay you back once I get my salary next month!"
"Stop right there! Your monthly pay is only 3,000—what are you going to use to pay me back?!"
Kaien asked suspiciously.
"Huh? Isn't that enough?"
Taichi looked at him in surprise, then suddenly realized something and hurriedly asked,
"Kaien… how much do you want me to give as a gift?"
"Given the kind of life-and-death friendship we have,"
Kaien thought seriously,
"it should be at least 10,000 kan, right?"
"Ten thousand?!"
Taichi was stunned.
"Why don't you just rob me?!"
Internally, he cursed:
Has the Soul Society adopted the same "bad habits" as the Human World, like throwing a party just to grab money from people's pockets?
"What? Are you saying our friendship isn't worth 10,000 kan?"
Kaien's face darkened instantly, his gloomy gaze sweeping coldly over Taichi.
"Uh…"
Taichi actually knew that the Soul Society cared even more about "showing face" than the Human World did. The amount of gift money was determined by how close you were to the host—
And ever since Taichi had "risked his life to save Shiba Miyako," the straightforward and stubborn Kaien had already regarded him as a sworn brother.
In just a few short days, their friendship had skyrocketed like a rocket.
Besides, even back in his previous life, Taichi had admired Shiba Kaien's loyalty and sense of honor in Bleach, so he was genuinely satisfied with their friendship.
In theory, the boat of their friendship shouldn't capsize over something as trivial as money—
But the problem was… Taichi really didn't have any.
His monthly salary was only 2,800. Even after being promoted to 20th Seat, 15th Rank and receiving an extra 200 kan, he had only barely crossed the 3,000 mark.
After deducting basic food and lodging expenses, it had taken him more than half a year to save up 10,000 kan—
And earlier today, out of a "shamefully excessive sense of sympathy," he had given it all to Nanami Heizo, who had lost half an arm and been stripped of his Shinigami status…
"So… how about this…"
After hesitating for a long time, Taichi cautiously suggested,
"I'll marry into your family? That way I won't need to give gift money, right?!"
"Hah?!"
Kaien's left eyebrow twitched.
He hooked Taichi's neck with one arm, while his other hand turned into a drill and began grinding mercilessly into Taichi's skull—sparks nearly flying.
As he drilled, he roared angrily:
"You arrogant bastard! What do you think the Shiba family is?!
You can't even come up with a measly 10,000 kan, and you dare covet my beloved little sister?!
Huh?! You shameless piece of trash—did you flush your dignity as a Shinigami and your sense of shame down the toilet together?!
Fūjin Taichi! I'm warning you—if you can't scrape together the gift money by Friday, then get lost and go commit seppuku alreadyyyyyy!!!"