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Chapter 9 - Despair.

Satoru was stood on the other side of the door, leant against a wall—arms crossed, eyes closed. Listening intently at the sounds of various yelling and shouting between both Emilia and Subaru.

"Welp," Satoru exhaled, stepping forward and rolling his shoulders. "Doesn't sound like it went too well."

Emilia just nodded, not even bothering to say a word in return as she started to walk off.

Satoru didn't bother stopping her, he understood her reasoning after all.

I heard a bit of it but purposefully aired most of it out.. but from what I heard- and the little beating Subaru received from Julius, I doubt he's going to be all good mentally.

He sighed, closing his eyes—pondering back to multiple hours ago...

...

Ferris stepped out from the room, letting out a deep breath.

Emilia seemed nervous, stepping forward. "Is.. is he alright?"

The cat-boy merely nodded. "Nyep~! Of course he is, I'm the best healer around after all~ Just a few hours sleep and he'll be awake."

Before he could speak- movement in his peripheral vision caught his eye. Crusch Karsten approached with Wilhelm at her side, calm and composed as ever.

Satoru gave a small, respectful nod. "Crusch Karsten. You're not here just to check on Subaru, I assume?"

Crusch gave a light incline of her head, briefly glancing at Emilia before speaking.

"I propose a temporary alliance. At least until the White Whale is slain. It's true I seek the merit of the kill… but that isn't the only reason."

Satoru's expression soured, skeptical. "So I help a rival get ahead by handing them glory? Doesn't sound like the best trade."

Crusch didn't flinch. Her eyes shifted toward Wilhelm, who stepped forward, his gaze steady but heavy with purpose.

"I wish for the White Whale's death more than anything," he said. "But not for politics. That creature murdered my wife. I've waited far too long for this moment, and I refuse to let it die without laying my blade into its flesh."

As he spoke, emotion cracked through his usual composure. His fists clenched, knuckles pale, voice rough with barely restrained rage.

Satoru's gaze lingered on him, unreadable behind his shades—though something sharp and subtle glinted beneath. Then, he stepped forward and laid a hand on Wilhelm's shoulder.

"You've got a hell of a loyal servant, Crusch." He looked back at her, smirking. "Alright. You've got a deal. When the time comes, I'll make sure he gets his chance. As many cuts as he wants."

Who am I to get in the way of revenge? That'd just make me an asshole, and I'm sure this guys been waiting to kill that beast for a long time. And honestly… I like this guy aswell so..

Wilhelm's eyes widened slightly, then softened. "Thank you."

Crusch nodded once, firmly. "I'm aware. And I appreciate it."

—————————————————

Outside the Karsten Estate

Gojo stood in silence, arms folded, sunglasses catching the light of the early day. His usual grin was absent—replaced by a calm, focused stare as Reinhard bowed deeply before Subaru.

"Forgive me… Subaru."

Subaru blinked, startled, and quickly raised both palms defensively.

"W-Wait—what are you apologizing for? None of this was even your fault."

Reinhard straightened slowly, his expression solemn.

"As a friend to both Julius and Satoru… I also consider myself a friend to you. And yet—I failed. I stood by while a rift between comrades deepened. My inaction was a failure of virtue."

He paused, eyes shadowed beneath his red fringe.

"That duel… there was no meaning behind it."

Subaru frowned. "No meaning?"

Reinhard nodded gently.

"Nothing good came from it. You were hurt—physically and emotionally. Julius, too, has stained his name as a knight. Honor and pride might have driven it, but in the end, you both only lost. So I ask you—why not speak to him? A true, calm conversation. He is a good man… and I believe many misunderstandings could be set right."

There was a moment of stillness, before Subaru turned his head, only slightly.

"… Look, Reinhard," Subaru said quietly. "I appreciate it. I really do. You're a nice guy… maybe too nice. But I can't accept that proposal."

He took a breath and turned away, walking forward, his voice hardening.

"We're done talking. Just go back."

Reinhard's eyes widened, brows knitting upward.

"Subaru… then please tell me—why? What did you gain from that duel? All it brought you was pain… even Lady Emili—"

Subaru cut him off coldly, without turning around.

"Just go, Reinhard."

The long corridor leading out of the estate stretched before him. His footsteps echoed, but he never looked back.

Gojo's eyes narrowed slightly behind his shades.

Reinhard turned, his gaze meeting Gojo's. The Sword Saint looked pained—troubled—but not surprised.

Gojo gave him a small nod. "You can head back without me, yeah? I'll catch up."

Reinhard hesitated only a moment before bowing slightly.

"Very well… And Satoru—please. Talk to him. He's clearly not in a good state of mind."

Gojo's lips twitched into the faintest of smirks.

"I've got it. Go on."

Reinhard departed in silence.

—————————————————

SWOOSH—

SWISH—

THUD!!

The sound of fists tearing through the air cracked like thunder across the garden in the Karsten Estate.

Subaru's attacks came in a storm—blows laced with fury, pain, and desperation. But Gojo hadn't moved an inch. His body remained still, his posture unshaken, not even disturbing the blades of grass beneath his feet.

His gaze narrowed behind the shades, calm and calculating.

Then, with a flick of his wrist, Gojo's palm glided along Subaru's forearm—redirecting the punch with effortless grace.

SWISH—

Subaru spun, pivoting low, and lunged in close. Not with a fist this time—but an elbow, sharp and wild, cleaving through the air like a blade.

It might've landed too—if Gojo cared.

Instead, he simply exhaled, not with surprise—just faint disappointment.

He's lost control of his emotions… it's stronger, but less efficient, if he didn't have a ton of cursed energy to utilize.. he'd already be out cold on the floor.

THUD!!

In a blink, Gojo's arm rose—intercepting the elbow with a clean forearm block, locking Subaru's arm in place. In the very next beat—

CRACK—!

A counter-jab, clean and precise, slammed into Subaru's chest like a truck.

It launched him off his feet—air torn from his lungs, body scraping across the garden in a plume of grass and dust.

Still, Subaru didn't stay down.

He staggered, chest heaving, limbs trembling—but his will pushed him upright again.

Gojo's voice broke the quiet.

"We should stop here."

Subaru didn't reply. He just snarled, stomping his foot against the ground with a roar—cracking the earth beneath, exposing the dark soil beneath the greenery.

And he charged again.

Gojo sighed.

"Hah… Subaru."

He didn't teleport. But to Subaru, it may as well have been.

Gojo's hand materialized in front of his face—then grasped it.

SWISH—

SMASH!!

Subaru's back hit the ground with a heavy slam, breath stolen once more. His eyes stared up at the sky, wide—not in pain, but in shock, in anguish because of his weakness.

Gojo stood above him, exhaling through his nose as he rolled his neck and rose upright.

"There's no point in training until you clear your mind."

His voice was low, but not cruel. Measured. Honest.

"Your anger? It's not the problem. As I've said, it can be a weapon—but only if you learn to control it."

His hands slipped into his pockets, and he looked down at Subaru. The boy hadn't moved.

"Right now, you're blaming yourself. Hating yourself. For what happened, for being weak. Right?"

No answer came. None was needed.

Gojo looked to the side.

"I'm not gonna lie to you and say your choices were right—because they weren't. But the weakness? That's expected. It's been less than two weeks since we started."

"This isn't some game. There's no cheat code. No fast track to being strong."

Subaru's fists clenched in the grass. His eyes burned—not just from tears, but from rage.

"What the hell would you know about how I feel!?"

His voice cracked, heavy with bitterness.

"You're perfect! You've always been perfect! Strongest guy in the room, born with everything—talent, power, confidence—me?"

He sat up, chest heaving.

"I've been a loser my entire life. A shut-in. A nobody!! This world gave me a chance to be something more, and all I've done is mess up again and again and again!"

He shouted the last words, pain laced in every syllable. His fists hit the ground beside him, trembling.

Gojo's voice was calm in response—but underneath it was the low simmer of something old and bitter, scraped raw with years of being everything for everyone, and nothing for himself.

He stood upright again, brushing grass off his suit.

"Yeah. You're right, but nobody's perfect either…"

His head tilted slightly, the usual cocky grin absent.

"Being me came with all sorts of responsibilities and utter loneliness for most of my life. I was perfect—as a fighter. Not as a person, I've come to realize only recently."

He looked up toward the orange sky, as if searching for something beyond it.

"All people cared about—barring a handful later on—were these eyes of mine, and the fact I was a 'once-in-a-half-millennia prodigy'.. Not to say I ain't grateful for these eyes of mine, but it made me wonder what normality was like sometimes. Nobody cared about Satoru Gojo… only what he could do for the clan. For Jujutsu Society."

He turned his gaze back to Subaru, eyes sharp again, but not unkind.

"So I might not get fully what you're going through. But I've been lonely- sad, too.. so if you're gonna cry."

He pointed toward Subaru's chest, lightly but deliberately.

"Then cry. Get it out. But don't sit there pretending like being broken means you can't still fight on."

His hand dropped.

"The only people who stay weak forever are the ones who stop trying."

Silence hung between them for a long moment—before Gojo added, quieter now:

"I didn't come all the way to this weird-ass world to train someone who gives up at the very start."

Subaru's eyes widened slightly, his throat tightening- though no words came out.

Gojo turned away, leaving Subaru alone with Rem in the vast garden.

—————————————————

The Following Day…

Satoru's gaze narrowed as he strode through the halls of the Roswaal Estate.

Subaru is gone. Rem, too. I can't sense their presence...

He let out a sharp breath, jaw tightening.

I know I can sleep like the dead sometimes, but still—he wouldn't just vanish without a word. Not unless he had a damn good reason.

He stopped in front of an open window, wind rustling his silver hair.

"Crusch'll know… I'll ask her."

—————————————————

Near the Roswaal Estate...

Subaru sprinted down the cobblestone path, cursed energy pulsing through his limbs as night fell thick over the land. His eyes flicked left and right, breath hitching.

"Too quiet…"

Suddenly, a figure cloaked in black appeared directly in front of him.

Subaru skidded to a stop, fists rising instinctively.

"W-What—?"

His eyes widened—more figures surrounded him. Dozens. Maybe more. Too many to count in the darkness.

There's no way I'm winning this… Do I have to die again already?

But then—without a word—they bowed… and vanished into the night.

Subaru stood still, heart pounding in his ears.

"…The hell was that?"

—————————————————

Arlam Village and the Manor…

I'm back… finally...

He jogged into the village—but stopped. The stillness was unnatural. Buildings stood undisturbed, but lifeless. Not a soul stirred.

Something's wrong.

The smell hit him next—burning, rotting flesh. He gagged, then stumbled forward—until he found them.

Corpses. Dozens of villagers piled together. Slashed. Burned. Limbs mangled beyond recognition.

"A-Aah… w-what is this…?" he whispered, voice trembling.

"Rem...? Where is she?!"

He pushed forward, panic mounting with each step. She's strong. She'll be okay. She has to be…

He reached the shattered gates of the Roswaal Estate.

Her weapon—Rem's—lay discarded in the courtyard, chain snapped, metal glinting red under the sun.

He turned—and froze.

There she was.

Rem.

Cold. Lifeless. A blade pierced through her chest. Her face, still and peaceful, seemed to mock the agony clawing at Subaru's heart.

He dropped to his knees.

Tears streamed.

Why...?

The garden was filled with bodies—cloaked in black. The very same outfit he'd ran into in the forest. Torn apart.

He moved forward like a ghost, into the wooden hut nearby.

He shouldn't have.

He vomited.

Children. Piled. Broken. Eyes wide and vacant.

No. Nononono… NO! This is wrong…!

He staggered toward the estate.

I've been training… getting stronger… this wasn't supposed to happen!

Inside—he pushed open a door.

Two bodies spilled out.

Ram. Her face soaked in blood, lips parted as if frozen mid-cry.

Petra. Her eyes were gone, torn from their sockets- dried blood pooling from her head and lips in obscene amounts.

Subaru screamed. And screamed. But it wasn't enough.

Is this all my fault? I should've—no. I should've done something…

"It's not my fault… it's not…"

He stumbled forward, following the blood. To an unfamiliar door.

So cold. The air bit his skin like razors.

She could still be alive… please…

He reached for the handle.

CRACK—

His hand shattered.

"A-AAHH!!"

He stumbled back, just before his leg split from beneath him—ice creeping over the floor like death incarnate.

He looked around.

Bodies. Frozen. Cloaked assassins. Caught mid-movement. Mid-scream.

He tried to scream too.

But nothing came out.

CRACK—

The world faded to black.

And Natsuki Subaru died.

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