She wept and she wept.
She cried into her roommate's shoulders about many a thing.
The pain of losing her mother a second time, the realization of her mortality and the acceptance that her usage of the fire that dwelled within her was not going to be a one-time thing.
She didn't voice those out of course she just cried and cried and cried.
And Gold Ship, the ever-energetic, comedic and sometimes even annoying Gold Ship just… let her.
It was… weird, but nice?
She appreciated the gesture, but she couldn't help but feel that it was a bit weird to have Gold Ship of all people offering a shoulder to cry on.
She kept crying until eventually all that was left was snot and sniffles.
She sniffed in hard, "S-Sorry G-Gold Ship," She let out a light wail, "Sorry for getting my tears and snot on your bed wear…" she said. Her nose and throat were stuffed with mucus that refused to come out.
"…" Her roommate said nothing for a long instant before sighing almost exasperatedly and lightly patting her back before speaking once more, "It's no problem, no problem whatsoever," she said almost dismissively before her voice took on a more mischievous tone, "But…"
She stopped sniffing and crying, and she pulled herself off Gold Ship's shoulder, looked her hard in the eyes and spoke, "I… I was originally planning on saving myself for Orfevre, but… if… if I owe you, then I suppose I should pay you back…" she looked at the corner of the room as her face heated up.
Nothing was said, as she could almost feel her roommates' eyes burrow into the side of her head. This went on for a long time until finally, "What… Hope, I…" she turned to look at her again only to see her look pensive for a moment before speaking again, this time in a more… well…embarrassed tone, "I wouldn't ask for that…"
"Then…" she sniffed in and looked at her teammate in the eyes almost curiously, "What is it that you want? If not my…" she stopped before she could finish her face heating up again.
"Well, ignoring the fact that I'm really starting to question what my uncle taught you when you both lived together and the fact that if I did want what you were implying I would… 'disappear' the next day, I simply want to know what even is it that you were dreaming about?"
"What was I dreaming about?" she paused. It was… a loaded question at best. Did she tell her about the sinking in an almost mud like tar pit, where she interacted with the voice and even presumably spiritual form of her dead mother, or did she simply go with the much simpler explanation of, "I dreamed of a…" her eyes darted to the side a grimace on her face, "Talk with my mom, and well, I didn't realize it was her until a bit later, but then… she disappeared. And I was, no, am scared that I wasted my last chance to speak to her for the last time, probably." She sniffed as she felt water fall down her cheeks. Was she crying again?
"Hope…" Gold Ship started.
"Do you want to know the funniest part about it all? I, her own daughter, didn't even recognize her voice! I remembered almost everything about Orfevre before she changed! And I can identify anything about her! And yet…. AND YET! I COULDN'T EVEN… I couldn't even remember my own mother's voice…" she was crying again, hell she was even hiccupping now. She couldn't help but feel bad about Gold Ships pyjamas. They were so clean before this.
"Hope… I'm… I'm sorry for asking, hey," she said before taking her face and angling it to look at her. "I'll give you all the time you need, so just come back to the team with your normal expressions, okay?"
She nodded as Gold Ship smiled and left to get washed and go to the academy, early, for once.
She didn't say anything, she just sat there until her roommate left, "'Don't die', huh? That's what mom asked of me at least, but…" she thought back to the race to the incredible acceleration of her rival, of that closing kick that managed to surpass her, if only for an instant.
"If I'm going to face foes like that, then I am truly not strong enough in my current state, I need more power. I need to become invincible, an unbeatable racer, somebody who can inspire hope… through many victories…" she paused for a moment, and imagined the cheers of the crowd, of the sheer hope they would feel at having witnessed her absolutely crush her foes with no difficulty, "I need… to become an icon. I have to become legend, even if I must break my body down until there is nothing left… it should be fine, as long as I don't touch that fire within me… right?"
But then… a dissenting voice spoke within her, "Would it not be the same?" the voice spoke, "Would you still not be burning yourself, just in a different way?"
"No. It wouldn't be the same, at least this way, I don't have to rely on that infernal power within me. At least this way, I did it."
The voice said nothing, it was quiet, perhaps it had agreed, perhaps it hadn't.
In truth, it didn't matter, she would have ignored it anyway.
…
The classes of the day came and went and it was now more than halfway through practice, "Alright, good news, everybody, it's break time," almost everybody breathed a sigh of relief as they could finally go and drink water. She pretended not to hear him so that she could run another lap.
"Hope," he started as she kept jogging, "You can take a break and have some water, you know."
"…" She kept jogging, she had to get stronger.
"Hope, I'm not just telling you to take a water break because it's in the schedule, you can get a cramp if you keep exercising with no water."
"…"
"Hope…" he sighed an exasperated tone in his voice as he looked at his other trainees, who were currently on break, and seemed to make his mind.
"Spe-chan."
"Yes trainer?"
"Go bring Hope here so she can rest. It's already been the fifth time she's pretended to not hear my calls for a water break."
"Got it!"
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AN
How you guys doing, I hope you are all doing well, here it is, the next chapter, on another note, wth was I writing last chapter, don't get me wrong the ideas are something I wanted to write, but I didn't originally plan for them to all be in that chapter…
You know, sometimes I just really want to go and strangle my past self on some fate ubw type shi.
But anyways, I'm starting to feel like I'm writing Gold Ship a bit too normally, don't get me wrong I know that it is within her to act caring to other people, I just feel like I've done that a bit too much recently, you know?
Anyways, that's all for these two weeks,
Until then, (ps. I'm probably still going to be wondering what the hell I was thinking while writing (I just know I will))
This is Greek Antrielos,
Signing off