An hour later… I found myself outside the apartment. Freezing my balls off.
Still hiding.
From Yuki…
"For someone who couldn't throw a run properly an hour ago, she's suddenly a damn apex predator."
I was crouched behind a wall near the building entrance. And from where I hid... god, I could hear her distant shouts:
"IF YOU COME BACK, I'LL KILL YOU, PERVERT!"
"…Welp. There goes my job," I thought. "And why is she shouting? Giving someone no context of the situation, and anyone with half a brain cell is gonna call the police and say a deranged hot chick is screaming into the air"
I peeked out just enough to spot her scanning the area like a trained sniper. "EEK!" I quietly cried out, seeing the demons in her eyes as she looked left and right. Just imagine she had the Byakugan, I would be toast. No way was I walking back into that kill zone today. But I figured I should at least let the others know I was going home, just in case they thought I might be dead.
But would they care, though?
Hmmm, probably not, but oh well.
"I'll text them."
Genius plan.
Right?.
Only just a slight tincy-wincy problem?
I didn't have any of their numbers.
Still, I opened my phone, planning to look them up on social media, when:
BING.
[New Message: Yuki]
"…HUH?!"
I froze. She was still out there, empty-handed, phone nowhere in sight.
Was this another Yuki?
A DOPOLLGANGER?!
WHAT IN THE NANI?!
[Who is this??] I texted, and a bit of my brow began to sweat in anticipation, and not from the fact that I was running for ages, I'm not that unhealthy.
[Typing...]
My heart skipped. A random girl messaging me out of nowhere? Was it Saki? Some ghost from high school? Or maybe some hot chick is trying to get with me, but is too scared to show her face, and I have to go through a whole romantic comedy of doing my best trying to date her, only to end up getting to season 5, and she says she was into girls or something.
"…"
Sorry, went a bit overboard.
I definitely don't have trauma.
I don't, okay, stop judging…
But the mystery person finally spoke, or texted in this case.
[Hey, Souta.]
"….."
…JUST A HEY?!
[Hey. Who is this?] I replied furiously, typed, almost sending a kiss emoji, whiiich could have gone bad.
[Typing...] [Typing...] [Typing...]
Still nothing. My sanity was slipping.
Then:
[It seems you've forgotten me, Souta. I was hoping you'd remember after all these years… But maybe it's too soon.]
"…What?"
"If you're a hot chick, then there was no way I've forgotten about you, trust me…" I muttered to myself. I still remember my hot middle school teacher. Wow, every time I saw her, I wished I were born earlier in life.
Sorry, going off the topic.
I stared at the screen, mind running laps.
[It would help if you told me your name?]
No reply. No signal. No peace.
"Ahhh, just like every other girl, just a big fat blank."
"But still… This is strange. I wonder if Yuki's actually behind this?" I murmured, slightly sticking my head out.
But Yuki was gone.
"Was it her? No wait… She didn't have her phone. Or did she?"
I was spiralling. Enough was enough.
"Forget this."
I stepped out from my hiding spot, and that's when salvation arrived.
Wilhelm, like a knight from Lugunica, strolled out of the apartment entrance.
"Souta, sir! Are you alright? I must apologise for Lady Yuki's... Behaviour."
"No, no. If anything, I should be the one apologising next time I see her," I waved it off, though still technically not my fault, but I'll be the bigger man.
"But Wilhelm, please let the girls know… I'm heading home for tonight. Especially after that."
He nodded, knowing full well what I meant.
"Very well, Souta sir. I shall inform them. Please, get home safe."
He bowed, and I smiled at him before I turned, walking off into the night…
Just one problem.
"MY MONEY!!! How can I get a taxi home!!!! When it's in the demon's lair."
I turned around, and Willhelm was still there, almost as if he knew I would come back.
"Hey, Willhelm sir, I need my money to get a cab, maybe you could get it for me?"
"No need, sir. Please wait here. I have one coming for you. I'm sure one of the girls will keep it for you and give it to you when you see them tomorrow."
"Oh, well, sure that works for me, free cab and get my money back score. I might have to start my own Instagram business course."
So thankfully, I got a taxi full paid for by the good man Wilhelm. We need more people like him.
I got home exhausted, opening the door ready for some peace and quiet, to just chill out an-
"DIE BITCH! HAHHAHAHAHH WHO'S YOUR ONI-CHANN HAHAHAHAHH!!"
"SAKI. PLEASE. IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT."
I shut the front door behind me as Saki bellowed war cries at her monitor, furiously mashing buttons in Sparking Zero like it owed her money.
"Oh! Oni-Chan! Are you back? Thought you'd be spending the night with your harem of chaos.
So? Spill the tea, how was it?"
I collapsed next to her on the couch.
"…I might've died once. Yuki definitely tried to kill me."
Her eyes lit up like I just confirmed the next episode drop.
"YOU'RE LIVING IN A ROM-COM! HAH! I KNEW IT!"
She grinned proudly, arms crossed. "You've officially entered the protagonist arc, big bro. Just wait till the beach episode."
"Please don't say that out loud again," I groaned.
I explained everything else that happened. After I finished, I tried to get up from the couch, but Saki stopped me.
"Oh, yeah," she added, suddenly serious. "Someone called earlier. A girl. Didn't say her name. She just said she has your wallet... And she's going to 'use it wisely.' Then she thanked you."
I froze.
"...That WOMAN!"
Saki giggled, still gaming. "That's the one you said had a 'bouncy castle' up top?"
I didn't answer. I refused to dignify that and did not want my younger sister to say that to me with a straight face.
"That's what I thought," she nodded.
I stood up, defeated. "I'll be home late tomorrow. Try not to burn the apartment down."
She saluted without looking away from her match. "Don't worry! I'll be a responsible housewife… Until you get married to one of them!"
I choked on my own spit.
"EXCUSE ME???"
She smirked before waving her hand like it was a ordinary thing to say, "I've seen this anime before," she said matter-of-factly. "Main guy ends up with one of the sisters, usually early on the series, they kiss by accident, then at the end, BAM, wedding, kids, credits roll. I'm sad looking for the next watch"
She turned to me dramatically.
"Don't underestimate the power of an otaku's foresight." She shouted, pointing at the middle of her forehead.
"…God help me."
I ignored her prophetic ramblings and dragged myself to my room and collapsed into bed.
But even as sleep started to pull me under, I couldn't stop thinking about that text.
The sender. Their words. Their tone.
Something familiar… And yet too far to grasp.
Could it really have been?
No. No way.
I glanced at my phone one last time.
The message was still there. No name. No new reply.
I turned off the screen.
*
The next day hit me like karma with a baseball bat.
My legs were on strike from last night's cardio disaster.
"Urgh… Damn that Yuki. I haven't run like that since sports day," I groaned, dragging my body out of bed like a war veteran.
Downstairs, Saki was already glued to the TV, her mouth stuffed with toast and her eyes locked onto the newest episode of The Shinji Family.
"Please god lay down a mighty blizzard,, I muttered whilst making coffee.
"Yo, Oni-chan," Saki said between chews. "Even if a blizzard hits, you're still going. We need that sweet, sweet yen-yen."
And for once, I didn't argue. She was right. I had to face them. I had to face… Her. Yes, that's what I'll do, I'm not a Bitch.
*
Hey, Yuki, liste-
BAM.
A straight solar plexus kick. No warning. No build-up. Just full One Punch Woman energy.
"NGHHHH!"
I dropped like a sack of rice on sale.
Yuki didn't even slow her pace. "Perverts deserve pain," she muttered and stormed through the gate like the ice queen she was.
I lay on the cold pavement, lungs seizing, dreams fading. So this is how it ends… God, I'm sorry, please forgive me!
"Souuuttaaa~"
That dangerously sweet tone. Even mid-death, I recognised it.
Arisa.
She stood over me with that same unreadable smile, the kind that said, 'I know exactly what I'm doing'.
"Oh, you poor thing," she cooed, crouching down to meet my eyes like I was some wounded animal.
"But hey, since you're already dying… Could you help me with some studying after school? Just like last time~?"
"I… I dunno… I was actually going to stop by your place later, so maybe"
She cut me off with a sly smirk.
And then… She looked around to make sure the coast was clear...
Then she unbuttoned the top of her uniform.
One. Two.
My brain went full red alert.
Red bra.
Melons.
THE red bra.
Laundry Day Bra.
"You remember this one, don't you?" She whispered, leaning in just enough that her lips nearly brushed my ear.
"You were holding it like a treasure last time. Don't worry… It's clean now. But maybe you wanna see how it fits~?"
My soul fled my body.
My eyes combusted.
I was sweating like a sinner in church.
"OKAY OKAY OKAY, PLEASE CLOSE THAT SHIRT!"
Arisa giggled. Giggled. Like, she didn't just mentally snap me in half.
"Perfect~ Library. After school. I'll bring snacks. Maybe something sweet… Like me~"
She walked off, hips swaying like this was a rom-com opening.
I just stood there, heart thumping, legs shaking, re-evaluating every life choice I'd made.
Meanwhile, from the not-so-stealthy cover of the vending machines:
"Detective Reina, did you catch that?" "Affirmative, Detective Nao."
Nao adjusted her oversized glasses (purely aesthetic). "She's escalating. Deploying top-tier assets. We're dealing with a seasoned temptress."
Reina, deadpan as ever, frowned. "Are we… sure she doesn't just need help with her studies?"
"Nope. No one flashes red lace gazongers for math help."
"...Good point."
Nao pulled out a comically fake walkie-talkie. "Operation: Cockblock Arisa is a go."
"Copy that," Reina replied before sighing.
"Though I feel like we're the bad guys now." She muttered, but Nao wasn't listening, as she had already gone ahead.