25 January 2008.
Lucius was still enjoying the freedom that came with flight when he heard sirens in the distance. The sound carried thin through the cold night air, weaving between buildings and bouncing off bricks. He chuckled under his breath and wished the officers luck in dealing with whatever disaster New York had prepared for them this night.
He continued to hover inside the warehouse, moving left and right, then up and down, increasing speed with each controlled arc. The pulsing green shimmer of his force field painted the broken interior in faint light. Concrete dust hung in the air like lazy fog.
The sirens grew louder.
He frowned slightly when the noise sharpened and began to echo off the warehouse walls. Blue and red lights flashed through the holes he had unintentionally carved into the structure. The beams cut through the dark interior in restless sweeps.
Lucius did not immediately consider that he might be the problem. Instead, he turned invisible and floated a few feet above the ground, folding his arms as he waited.
-
Two patrol cars pulled up outside. Doors opened. Boots struck asphalt.
"Dispatch, this is Unit Twelve," one officer spoke into his radio while scanning the warehouse entrance. "We are at the location. Visual on structural damage. No visible alien fruit."
The second officer stepped inside cautiously, torch beam sweeping across shredded concrete and banana pulp.
He stopped.
"Jesus," he muttered, staring at the holes the size of bananas in the wall. "What in the hell happened in here?"
From the radio came a voice attempting professionalism. "Unit Twelve, the caller reported a large floating banana emitting green light and entering and exiting the building at high velocity."
The officer looked at his partner.
"You seeing a banana."
His partner crouched, poked a smear of crushed fruit with a gloved finger, and lifted it to the light.
"I am seeing evidence of poor dietary decisions."
Lucius drifted closer, listening with quiet amusement.
The first officer pressed the radio again. "Dispatch, we have extensive interior damage. Walls compromised. Debris present. We do not have confirmation of produce related hostiles."
A pause.
"Copy that, Unit Twelve. Caller insists the object was airborne and glowing."
The second officer tilted his head and looked up at the ceiling where another hole gaped.
"If that banana was glowing, it paid its electric bill," he muttered.
Lucius smirked invisibly.
Outside, the dog walker stood behind the truck, clutching his leash like a lifeline. His dog stared at him with open disappointment.
The officers stepped back outside.
"Sir," the first officer addressed him calmly, "can you describe exactly what you saw?"
The man pointed dramatically at the warehouse. "It was a banana. A big one. Glowing green. It was flying in and out like it had a personal vendetta against the wall."
The second officer folded his arms. "Sir, have you consumed any substances tonight?"
The man bristled. "I told the lady on the phone, this is not about my recreational choices. There was a flying banana. It was violent."
The dog barked once, as if in reluctant support.
Lucius felt irritation prick at the edges of his satisfaction. The man had not only called the police but also committed to the narrative with confidence.
He teleported behind a stack of crates outside and considered options.
Petty vengeance was an art.
He pulled out the largest banana from his inventory. It was magnificent. He encased it in a tight telekinetic force field, compressing it slightly so it gleamed under the streetlights.
Invisible and silent, he stepped behind the dog walker.
The man felt his belt loosen.
He yelped as his trousers slid abruptly to his ankles. His boxers followed with equal betrayal.
"What the hell," he shouted, hopping awkwardly.
The officers turned.
Before anyone could process the situation, the glowing banana rose into the air behind the man's bare legs, humming faintly within its green shell.
The ambulance crew, who had just stepped out of their vehicle expecting a routine substance-related incident, froze.
The banana drifted upward, paused dramatically, then tapped the man smartly on the backside three times like a judgmental schoolmaster.
The dog walker shrieked and attempted to run, but his trousers bound his ankles and sent him tumbling face-first onto the pavement.
The paramedic blinked slowly.
"Did you see that?" she whispered.
Her partner nodded once. "I am going to pretend I did not."
The officers drew closer.
"What is going on here?" one demanded, eyes darting.
One officer drew his gun and aimed at the banana. "Stay where you are!"
Lucius moved the banana closer to the man's arse. This will teach him not to snitch on an innocent man again.
The other officer aimed his gun as well. "Stop moving! Hands where I can see them!"
The paramedics and the other officer turned to him with deadpan eyes.
The dogwalker's scream disturbed their staring. He was trying his best to getaway from the aggressive fruit.
The officers shouted. "Stay still! This is your last warning!"
When the aggressive fruit continued his sexual assault on the snitcher, they started to shoot.
The banana performed a lazy spin in the air, avoided the shots, then shot straight upward into the sky like a fluorescent missile. Lucius released the force field and cut the telekinetic link.
Gravity reclaimed the fruit somewhere far above the rooftops.
Silence settled.
The dog walker lay on the ground, trousers still at his ankles, staring at nothing.
The first officer removed his cap and rubbed his forehead.
"Sir," he said carefully, "we are going to need you to put your trousers back on."
-
Lucius was still angry at the asshole for disturbing his training session. He then folded space again and returned to his bedroom.
The blackout curtains were drawn. The room remained in complete darkness.
He landed softly beside his bed and let invisibility fade.
-
Triskelion, Washington, D.C.
Nick Fury stood by the glass wall of his office, looking down at the organised chaos of SHIELD operations. Screens glowed. Agents moved with purpose. Paperwork accumulated with hostility.
A knock sounded.
"Enter," Fury called without turning.
Phil Coulson stepped inside, folder in hand. He closed the door behind him with quiet precision.
"Sir, I have completed my meeting with Lucius Noctis."
Fury turned slowly. "Excellent. When is he coming in, and what kind of laboratory does he want?"
Coulson kept his face expressionless.
"I believe we are compromised, sir."
Fury blinked once.
"Define compromised."
"Mr Noctis has identified our surveillance agent. He is aware of her activities. He is also aware that his home has been searched multiple times."
Fury's jaw tightened. "He has proof."
"He has certainty," Coulson replied. "He declined recruitment. He has also increased the price of both LHP and LSP for SHIELD by ten per cent as compensation for his losses."
Fury stared at him in silence for a long moment.
"Motherfucker," he muttered.
Coulson remained steady.
"You were to invite him gently, Coulson," Fury continued. "Not antagonise him."
"With respect, sir, I did not antagonise him. He is operating from a position of suspicion and leverage."
Fury paced once across the room.
"No matter," he said at last. "If he is determined to posture, we remove the stage. Take him into custody on IRS charges. Let Hill handle the negotiation from there."
"Sir," Coulson began carefully, "we have yet to confirm whether he is a mutant-"
Fury cut him off with a raised hand.
"We will confirm it after he is in custody."
Coulson held his ground. "He is intelligent, sir. Aggressive acquisition may escalate the situation. His production method remains unknown. If he chooses to disappear, we lose access entirely."
Fury stopped pacing and studied Coulson's face.
"You are suggesting."
"I am suggesting we reconsider pressure tactics until we understand the mechanism behind his potions."
Fury's eye narrowed he exhaled slowly.
"Fine. Continue monitoring. Make sure it is made quietly this time. No more searches. If he wants ten per cent extra, we pay it for now. But I want contingency options drafted."
Coulson nodded once. "Understood, sir."
Fury returned to the window.
"Everyone wants to be special," he murmured. "Very few understand the cost."
Coulson left the office without another word.
-
Back in Queens, Lucius lay on his bed in the dark, smiling faintly at the memory of a flying banana and the sound of professional men attempting to report it with dignity.