What's the high council? I asked Orm while we were sitting down at the garden. I caressed Pinky lovingly while he shakes his branches in excitement.
Several days passed after our outing and it's only me and Orm who's been strangely left behind with me, despite the fact he kept making flirtatious moves at me.
We all went home immediately after Ghost told Lion about the scroll.
Lion looked grim while the rest of them looked terrified, especially Orm.
The 4 males got into a meeting in which I wasn't allowed to listen.
Lion seemed more needy than usual and would kept embracing me more than ever, making me worried but he only assured me with a smile that seemed forced.
Lion, Ghost and Sly went out and hasn't been back for a couple of days.
In this world, being gone a couple days is enough for me to be terrified as well since each day is longer here than what it is on earth. So they were gone for several weeks if we were on earth.
I continued to visit once in a while, since Nyma improved her ability and doesn't need much supervision.
I haven't heard any news at all and I've been stuck at this castle with Orm, who's been strangely protective of me.
He hesitated before answering me.
The high council. The nightmare of all nightmares in this territory. A word from them and you would be tried and killed without reason. There's no place to hide in this territory that they wouldn't know. Unless you are an extremely high ranked magic user, you don't have any chance against them.
They were rumored to practice forbidden magic and said to have killed many magic users and absorbed their magic.
Orm became silent, then after a while told me quietly that his mother was one of those who was killed by them.
His father couldn't not do anything, even though he is in a very high ranked position. The chieftain monarch cannot do anything either, since he would be killed as well if he ever defy them.
They don't kill their prisoners immediately. Killing immediately is considered an act of mercy by the high council. The high council don't believe in mercy. Nobody knows how long they lived. More than a hundred millennia maybe, Orm said with a shaky voice.
No wonder nobody can't defy them.
I prayed in my heart that Lion, Sly and Ghost would be safe.
....
Days passed and we still don't have news about them at all.
My relationship with Orm improved as he proved himself to be quite capable and kind. He still make flirtatious moves once in a while but this time I didn't mind him as I was already too stressed.
We slept at the workshop in which Lion always uses. Orm slept on the floor as he is more comfortable with that while I slept at a couch that Lion made for me.
I cried as I pretended to sleep. I don't know what to do. I don't have any powers. I'm envious at the seemingly ordinary main characters that suddenly have powers in the novels I read.
Lion. I missed him so much. My chest hurts too much. So this is how it feels to get your heart broken.
....
Soon, I began to lose interest designing stuff. Feeling fatigue happened so often that I soon began to stay at my room and don't get up from my bed for a long time. Everytime I eat, which Orm tried his best to cheer me up, I ended up going to the bathroom to puke everything. I soon began to lose weight and looked sickly while Orm pleaded with me to eat something with no effect.
So I decided to no longer go outside my room. I slowly let the curtains cover the windows, enveloping me in darkness. I went back to sleep.
I don't know how long was I asleep. I just opened my eyes in the darkness, stare at the ceiling and think of bad things.
Orm couldn't go inside my room since the portal to my room only allowed Lion to go through. Pinky is too big to go inside my room.
I don't remember how long I've been staring at the ceiling. I just stared at it and suddenly cry again. After crying my eyes out, I began to blame myself all sorts of things.
I was close to losing my sanity.
Sometimes I stayed in the bathroom. I don't know how long was I staying there, looking at the mirror with emptiness in my eyes.
I am being abandoned.
I am useless.
I am stupid.
I was thinking too highly.
The more I looked at myself in the mirror, the longer I want to destroy the person staring at me. I went back to my room and saw a bottle of something which I can't seem to remember what's inside and took it with me as I walked towards the bathroom.
With a shaky hand, I threw the bottle with all my might, breaking the mirror. Shards of glass fell around me as I just stood there unflinching. I looked down at my feet and saw an attractive looking large piece of mirror shard and pick it up.
I gripped on it tightly as I went back to my bedroom. I no longer feel any pain, even though I can see blood dropping on the floor and I looked at it with wonder for some time before resuming my walk towards my bed.
I want to be free from this pain, this emptiness I felt. Tears fell down my eyes as I sat there, no longer feeling sad, but tired. I looked at my arm and used the mirror shard to slice a large, uneven cut on my arm. Blood spurted out but surprisingly, I did not feel any pain at all.
I no longer remember who I am. I no longer think. I am just there. Existing.
I hummed a tune as I went back to the bathroom again. The lights feel too bright for me yet I just stared at it. For a long time.
I thought I saw something floating on the water, I walked towards it, reaching out my hand. I suddenly fell with a large splash and I no longer feel any energy to move.
The water seems to be getting cold as I suddenly felt really tired. I want to close my eyes.
Yes, I will do that.