I pushed open the door to the Hostess of Fertility, and the noise hit me like a wall—laughter, clinking mugs, the sizzle of something cooking in the back.
My stomach growled on instinct.
Finally.Real food.
I'd been living on street-vendor scraps and dungeon rations for too long. Tonight was supposed to be simple. Sit down. Eat. Recover.
I took two steps inside, already scanning for an empty table—
—and a hand clamped around my wrist.
"Come with me, nya."
Before I could process the voice, I was being dragged through the crowd.
"Wait—what—Anya?!"
The cat girl didn't even look back. Her tail swished as she pulled me along like I weighed nothing, weaving between tables with practiced ease.
"Anya, I just got here! I haven't even—"
"No time, nya."
"I was gonna sit down—"
"You can sit later, nya."
"I haven't ordered—"
"Kitchen. Now."
I dug my heels in for half a second. "I came here to eat, not—"
She stopped.
Turned.
Looked me dead in the eye.
"You called me buddy once," she said seriously. "Once. That makes us buddies, nya. And buddies help buddies."
I stared.
"That's not how—"
"Too late, nya." Her grin widened. "You're in."
And just like that, I was yanked through the kitchen door.
INSIDE THE KITCHEN
Heat slammed into me first.
Then noise.
Pots clanged. Knives hammered against cutting boards. Runova barked orders at someone I couldn't see. Chloe rushed past with a tray stacked high enough to qualify as a safety hazard.
And in the center of it all—
Syr.
She stood at the prep station, sleeves rolled up, eyes bright with dangerous enthusiasm. In front of her sat a cutting board piled with vegetables and a pot that was very clearly smoking.
Ryuu stood nearby, arms crossed, already tired.
"Syr," she said calmly. "Please stop."
Syr looked up. "Stop what?"
"You know what."
"I'm just helping."
"You're about to cook."
"Maybe a little."
"Don't."
I leaned toward Anya. "Uh… should we be worried?"
Anya's ears flattened. "Very, nya."
Syr smiled. "It'll be fine."
"It won't," Ryuu said.
Syr picked up a ladle.
"Syr—"
She stirred.
The air shifted.
Oh no.
"This is gonna be—"
BOOOOOOM.
The pot didn't boil over.
It erupted.
Soup, steam, and what I'm pretty sure was actual fire blasted toward the ceiling. Vegetables became airborne weapons. The cutting board flipped. A ladle flew past my head and embedded itself in the wall.
I hit the floor.
Anya hissed.
Runova shouted something that definitely wasn't polite.
Chloe dropped her tray.
When the smoke cleared—
Syr stood there.
Pot empty.Ladle gone.Face covered in soot.Hair singed.
Completely unbothered.
She blinked. Looked at the destruction. Looked at us.
Then stuck out her tongue, bonked herself lightly on the head, and tilted it like a child caught stealing sweets.
"Oops?"
The kitchen went dead silent.
Every staff member turned.
And stared.
Runova's eye twitched.
Chloe's smile froze.
Anya's tail puffed up like a bottlebrush.
Even Ryuu just looked… done.
Syr clapped her hands.
"Oh! I just remembered—I have an urgent matter to attend to!"
Anya's ears shot up. "Wait—what? Right now, nya?!"
Syr was already untying her apron. "It just came up! I'm so sorry!"
"Nya—Syr, you can't just—"
"You'll manage fine! I have complete faith in you!"
She tossed the apron onto a hook, waved cheerfully, and bolted out the back door.
THE AFTERMATH
The door swung shut.
Silence.
Anya stood frozen, arm still out, mouth open.
"…she just left, nya."
Runova wiped soot from her face. "She just left."
Chloe stared at the ceiling. "We are so screwed, nyah."
I stood up slowly, brushing soup off my shoulder.
"…she just left."
Anya's ears drooped. She turned to me, eyes wide and desperate.
"…buddy?"
I looked around.
Overturned pots.Scorched counters.Vegetables everywhere.Angry voices rising from the dining room.
"…I came here to eat."
"I'll give you all-you-can-eat, nya."
"…."
"Free, nya."
I reached for a knife.
"Where do you want me?"
Anya's ears perked straight up.
"That's my buddy, nya."