The land of eternal sorrow
Justifying the need to cry maybe not the best solution. This is like the guys who cry for girls after being dumped by their girls for a random black dude who doesn't know the singularity. What I mean is that people can barely understand what it means to be alive. For Basil, it actually shocked him to death the way he saw his mother getting killed in a breath of a second.
This causes trauma and makes you wonder what it means to be alive. But despite this, he was an honourable guest. It meant that she could hold it accountable for any of his mishaps. His mother would always say:
" Burn the sorrow away in the time of hell. Put a smile on your face when being in dismay. Why cry before death when you can laugh at life? This is the eternal reoccurrence of eternity in the presence. It no longer exists and exists at the same time. We are in love, but not with the people — just the idea of that person. I love you for who you are. And that for me is not enough. Never suffer because of me" his mother would educate him in the best way possible to make him earn an impecable...
This... Well... was farm from being what she had wanted for him. Like my use with the ellipsis. He did not seem to surrender to this specific teaching of his mother.
This place was full of sorrow...
Ahhh!
Ahh!
NO..
SOBBING
You could hear lamentations from any place of the realm. It actually made him drown in despair. He couldn't run away from this pain— the only imagination that could be different is eating pie with mother— he was remembering.
You are such a lovely boy... Who's Momma's boy? Yes, you're momma's boy. You deserve everything in the Singularity. I love you. You're everything to me. I wish I could swallow you completely... Nothing could stop me from giving you hell, heaven and nothing. But now, your mother feels tired. His mother would say to him in many different ways.
Remembering this actually took a toll on him. It was not enough for him to know that his mother was still feeling that way. Specifically, the day she died. Nothing could make up for what he witnessed. In that way, he could hold everything to despicable.
They had taken away his mother from him. Scared. Anguished. Enraged. Overwhelmed. Nothing could be assured. But there was one thing: his love was real for him mom.
Mom. I would like to meet dad. You don't usually talk about him. Even so, you joke about him and smile when talking about him. But I can feel your sadness. I wish I could know if I can help you. Maybe, that would ease your troubles. Mother deserves to be happy.
Mother would always shut up, putting on a sorrowful face. This will actually mark a way to make it: the sorrow increased in his heart. Nothing seemed to improve. In his heart, a deep sadness grew desperately to the extent of making everything better— in terms of truth.
His mother would always say when finding him in sorrow:
" Man doesn't need purpose, nor suffering. Man needs meaning. When all lies are shattered, he seeks pleasure, delighting in his own lies. Nothing could make him more miserable than what he is, making others believe what he is. Nothing in this world is harder than speaking the truth, nothing easier than flattery. This is the beginning of life. Overcome it and become it for what you are. "
Something will surge in his heart, making him hand tremble at alarming rate to show him how scared he is to feel, to live, to sense and to exist, knowing that no one would save him. It would actually crush him, but in this yearning, this was beyond what he could do. That said, it could actually be said that no one could ever confirmed to be the best versions of themselves.
The other thing might be that he could not actually take it. That way he could feel every sorrow. Nothing could ever comfort him, which means that everything could. That is to say that there was something waiting for him, needing to combat the actual the necessity of feeling alive.
I want to be alive, but I do not feel like it. What does it mean to live, huh? I DO NOT FUCKING SEE IT. I AM ALONE. NO ONE LOVES ME. EVERYTHING IS A FANTASY. What am I doing here? Where is the logos? I should do something about it. This is not enough for me. If I should say something, then it should be for the greatness of my sake. No one could actually say the only greatness of my life. I know the logos… but at this very moment, I only feel sadness invading my heart. Clearly, I cannot do anything.
How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb
Without a soul, my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home
(Wake me up) wake me up inside
(I can't wake up) wake me up inside
(Save me) call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up) bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up) before I come undone
(Save me) save me from the nothing I've become
Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead.
(Wake me up) wake me up inside
(I can't wake up) wake me up inside
(Save me) call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up) bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up) before I come undone
(Save me) save me from the nothing I've become