"Please, I'm begging you, just forge a Curio that will let me say a few words to Eirin... That's what you said to me back then, while hugging my leg, wasn't it?" Chen Li and Kaguya Houraisan sat face-to-face as Chen Li asked with perfect calm.
Chen Li had just taken Executive #1's men to Kalpas's village to rescue him. Upon returning to the Flame-Chasers and subsequently entrapping the high-ranking UN official, he realized he was running low on fake medicine and decided to come back for a refill.
He was then immediately accosted by a leg-hugging Kaguya.
"That's right," Kaguya said, her eyes darting around the room.
It was only natural to be a little impatient when a glimmer of hope suddenly appeared, just like students on the last day of class before a holiday are often the most restless.
"You know I have the [Allocation] skill. Specifically for your needs, I adjusted the developmental tendency of the [Communication] Entry I had saved to focus on person-to-person interaction, rather than interaction with any object. You do realize how much convenience I gave up for that, don't you?" Chen Li continued.
"Uh, right," Kaguya nodded honestly.
If a Curio forged with a [Communication] Entry could allow one to speak with objects, Kaguya couldn't even begin to imagine how immense its potential would be.
Talking to a corpse could solve any unsolved case.
Talking to an antique could reveal the fate it had borne.
Talking to a forest, you could even play the part of a child of the forest on the spot.
"And you were the one who said that if I forged such a Curio, you would do anything. Correct?" Chen Li pressed on.
"Y-Yes."
"So now that I've forged the Curio for you, is it really so difficult for me to ask you to make some fake medicine for me?" Chen Li's expression remained placid.
"But... don't you think this is a bit slapdash? Or rather, extremely slapdash! And you're asking me to make 'some' fake medicine? You want a hundred thousand pills!" The moment she heard the words "fake medicine," Kaguya snapped back to her senses.
Wait a minute, I'm not entirely in the wrong here.
With that, Kaguya threw the Curio in her hand at Chen Li.
A hundred thousand fake pills! What are you planning to do? Buy out an entire other world?
I take back everything I said before. I'd rather you make a pass at me than treat me like a tool!
You really only think about yourself, don't you!
"Hey, this is a Curio I worked hard to forge. Could you please show some respect for the fruits of my labor?" Chen Li said with dissatisfaction as he caught the paper cup that had been aimed at his face.
"Fruits of your labor? You mean this communication device made of two paper cups tied together with a string is the communication-type Curio you forged for me?" Kaguya squeezed the other paper cup in her hand as hard as she could, but she couldn't so much as dent it.
The thought that this was because she herself had added the [Eternity] Entry to the cup instantly deflated her anger.
"Cut me some slack. I only came back to get some fake medicine from you to continue swindling people; forging a Curio wasn't part of the itinerary. Besides, it may be crude, but it works." Chen Li spoke these words into his paper cup, and Kaguya heard—and even saw—the words appear in her own.
The paper cup was quite intelligent. If you weren't holding it to your ear to listen, it would retain the audio while simultaneously transcribing it into subtitles.
Very thoughtful.
"Honestly, how many crystals did you spend on this thing?"
"Uh, four crystals," Chen Li said.
The [Communication] Entry was extracted and stored from the Curio [A Call That Reaches the Distance], which cost two crystals to convert into an Entry.
The [Eternity] and [Extension] Entries each cost one crystal.
The effects were faint, but it was barely usable.
"I sold myself to you, and you were only willing to spend four crystals on me," Kaguya said, exasperated.
"You shouldn't think of it that way. You should think of it this way—you already sold yourself to me, so I could have spent zero crystals. Feeling better now?"
"???"
"Alright, I'm just teasing you. Kaguya, did you know? From the moment I first saw you, I was captivated. Your beauty left me breathless," Chen Li said, suddenly looking at Kaguya with deep affection.
"Uh, don't be like that." Feeling the sincerity in Chen Li's words, Kaguya became fidgety in her seat.
"Kaguya, I have to say..."
"Don't say it, I'm begging you."
"Alright." Chen Li looked somewhat dejected.
This anti-beauty special attack works so well.
The first time he saw Kaguya, Chen Li was indeed captivated by her—captivated by the Entries she possessed.
Of course, Kaguya's beauty had also genuinely left him breathless.
Who ever said you can't lie while telling the truth?
"But, is it really appropriate to use this thing to talk to Eirin?" Kaguya changed the subject, just as Chen Li had expected.
"This is just the first step. Do you know what the biggest problem is in communicating with Eirin Yagokoro?"
"What is it?"
"We don't have the world coordinates for Gensokyo."
"This thing can help me find the world coordinates?"
"More or less. I can poke you with the Longbow of Peace to trigger the 'eradicate root and stem' effect, then aim the bow at Eirin Yagokoro and fire one of the cups as an arrow. Once the cup reaches her hands..."
"You can determine the world coordinates and I can go home?"
"Oh, you're thinking too far ahead. If it were that easy, why wouldn't I have done it before? Determining world coordinates isn't something you can do with a quick glance or a brief stop; the coordinates need to be recorded." Chen Li shook his head.
In One Piece, you had to stay on an island for a while for a Log Pose to record its coordinates, let alone the coordinates of an entire world.
The Longbow of Peace had a hidden effect that allowed it to warp items into arrows and fire them, but it only worked on Curios with extremely weak effects.
Chen Li could forge a dedicated Curio for recording coordinates and shoot it over, then forge another one for teleportation.
But... in a word: broke.
At least, he didn't have that many Miracle Crystals three days ago.
Launch a Miracle Crystal towards Gensokyo to establish a portal by capturing a Miracle Commission?
Unless someone in Gensokyo happened to be yearning for a miracle and resonated with the crystal at the exact moment it arrived...
Otherwise, Kaguya wouldn't be going home, because her home would no longer exist.
"While this communication Curio doesn't have the effect of recording world coordinates, as long as this paper cup lands in Eirin Yagokoro's hands, I can take the other cup and begin forging it into a high-priority communication Curio. Wouldn't that work? Recording the coordinates isn't a sure thing, but establishing free communication definitely is," Chen Li said.
Chen Li also understood that communicating through a paper cup was hardly conducive to pouring one's heart out.
Besides, he had other uses for this particular Curio.
"Oh, I see! So that's what the string is for, right?" Kaguya looked at the string between the two cups, a look of sudden realization on her face.
The purpose of the string was to allow Eirin Yagokoro to be in contact with the Curio at the same time Chen Li was forging it.
"Exactly," Chen Li nodded.
"You've really put a lot of thought into this," Kaguya said, deeply moved.
"For you, it's all worth it," Chen Li said, his gaze firm.
"Don't be like that, at least wait until I get back to Gensokyo..."
"Then I'll be counting on you for those 100,000 fake pills."
"Leave it to me!" Kaguya puffed out her chest, accepting the duty without hesitation.
But in the next second, her smile froze on her face.
"Wait a minute. You're not just acting so affectionate to get me to make fake medicine for you, are you?"
"How could that be?" Chen Li turned his head away.
"You bastard! You really are toying with my feelings! And you're not even trying to hide it!"
"Why don't we establish contact with Eirin Yagokoro with this thing first," Chen Li suggested.
"Tsk, fine."
Kaguya felt that Chen Li's mother had absolutely no reason to worry about him being tricked by bad women in other worlds. This guy was born to be a bad-woman-tricker.
What bad woman would hate someone who sincerely praised them?
Kaguya felt his mother should be more worried about whether Chen Li would get chopped to bits by a legion of bad women he'd angered after trifling with their affections.
Oh, whatever. He could have just ordered me to do it, but he went to all the trouble of tricking my emotions instead. Maybe he really does have feelings for me.jpg
---o---
Chen Li summoned the Longbow of Peace, twisted one of the paper cups into an arrow, and nocked it. He first pricked Kaguya, and after the 'eradicate root and stem' effect located Eirin Yagokoro's signature, he fired it straight at her icon.
The [Eternity] effect on the cup and string was to ensure that if they broke, they could slowly repair themselves.
"So how long do we have to wait now?" Kaguya asked, propping her chin on her hand.
"It might be a while. So, while we wait, how about we have a thrilling and exciting..." Chen Li suddenly had a brilliant idea.
"A thrilling game? Or an adventure?" Kaguya's eyes lit up with anticipation.
"Fake medicine-making competition!"
"...Get lost!"
Can you stop thinking about your stupid fake medicine?!
I'll make it for you, alright!
An hour later, Kaguya was making fake medicine. Chen Li was watching Kaguya make fake medicine while increasing his proficiency with the [Power of Eternity and Moment] model.
Even if his proficiency reached the max level, Chen Li still felt Kaguya needed some daily exercise.
The job of making fake medicine should remain hers.
Watching the proficiency of Kaguya's ability model soar, Chen Li felt it was about time he went to leech some skill proficiency off the Herrscher of the Void.
Suddenly, the paper cup Kaguya had placed beside her twitched.
"Hmm?"
Kaguya, who had been keeping a close eye on the cup, immediately picked it up and spoke into it excitedly, "Eirin, is that you?"
"Nope, it's me, Yakumo Yukari. Kaguya Houraisan, right? Long time no see," a melodious, mature female voice laced with a hint of charm came from the other end.
"Ah, how did it end up in your hands? Where's Eirin?" Kaguya froze.
Chen Li froze too.
Theoretically, the Longbow of Peace couldn't have missed.
"Oh, your Eirin was knocked out by a flying paper cup just now. So I sent her to a more wonderful place."
"Where?"
"My bed."
"Damn it!" Kaguya swore, using a Gensokyo vulgarity.
"Hmm? Alright," Yakumo Yukari's voice replied from the other end.
"???"