What is love?
If you were to ask Rem that question, her answer would be that love is acceptance, accepting and cherishing all that a person has to offer.
That definition, however, was being completely crushed by the weight of her actions.
Could Rem really say she loved Subaru after what she had just witnessed? Who would kill someone they loved? There was no excuse. She had not even given Subaru a chance, not even a single bit of mercy.
He begged for help while barely crawling through the mansion's hall, yet Rem did nothing. Not only was she not there to aid him, she murdered him. His mere existence was the reason for his death.
Everything Rem had once cursed, she was now embodying.
Still on her knees, Rem's will would not allow her to move. Her hands were trembling, and her eyes were still watery. The sobbing had not stopped.
"Why am I crying? I shouldn't be allowed! How can I be such a monster?"
Her love, all of it, was fake.
Rem clutched her maid outfit at the area of her heart. "It's all my fault! All of it is my fault!"
Rem's tears would not cease. The dark screen signaling the end of the loop only reminded her of her sin.
"He was asking for help! Yet I, I... how could I?"
She would not be able to face him anymore. Not after what she had witnessed. Subaru, or anyone else in the camp. Rem could not simply pretend to be one more among them. She was a killer and did not deserve to be with any of them.
Suddenly, and for no apparent reason, her body started functioning again. The struggle vanished. With no hardship, she stood up.
Once she was up, her tears stopped. In her eyes there was determination, but not the kind one would desire. Rem had lost the light in her eyes, leaving only eyes comparable to those of a corpse.
She took a few steps and positioned herself one step away from the wall. Without giving it a second thought, Rem began smashing her head against it.
She smashed once, leaving only a scratch.
Twice, a small trail of blood was left on the wall.
Thrice, a small cracking noise was heard.
Fourth, nothing happened. She stopped feeling the pain.
Rem smashed her head again, but the same thing happened. She tried repeatedly, but nothing worked. It was as if the wall repelled her.
"Stop it, Rem," a masculine voice reached her ears, one she instantly recognized.
However, she did not turn to face it. Rem did not have the courage to look at him again.
"Subaru, why don't you hate me?" Rem pleaded. "It would be so much easier if you did."
She rested her head against the wall along with her two fists. The tears returned. Her beautiful face was in a deplorable state.
"If you cursed me, if you despised my existence, it would be so much simpler. Why? Why is it that you don't? Please, I'm begging you, Subaru, please... hate me... I can't bear it."
Rem longed for his hate. In that moment, it was all she desired. She just wanted him to despise her, to yearn for her death, if only he did.
She hit the wall again and again, like a child throwing a tantrum.
"Hate me!"
With blood dropping to the ground, her hands and head slowly slid downward. Leaving a red trace on the wall, the force behind her strikes weakened. She did not even have the will to harm herself anymore.
The dark theater gained light again, and far from her mind, sound emerged as well. Only one thing could be assumed. A new loop had started.
Without lifting her head from the wall, Rem slowly turned her gaze to see what was happening on the screen. Only to be met with the worst news possible once more, she could not recognize the events unfolding. Her eyes returned to the wall, and her vision darkened.
I WON'T ALLOW YOU TO SIMPLY EVADE YOUR SINS.
While her consciousness faded, those were the last words she heard. Rem passed out, leaving a curved trace of blood on the wall.
♢
In her sleep, Rem screamed. Fear, rage, and pain formed a turmoil of emotions within her mysterious dream, known only to her.
With a final blood curdling scream, Rem opened her eyes. Gasping for air, she instinctively searched for something to grab. Her breathing was heavy, and her expression was filled with terror.
Only when she realized it had all been a dream did she begin to calm down. She shifted her eyes left and right.
The theater room.
She was sat down in a seat in the third row. From her point of view she could see Subaru's black hair.
Rem remembered. She had passed out. While distressed, she had suffered what could only be described as a panic attack. The blood on the wall was still there. The faint hope that everything she had seen was unreal quickly vanished.
There were no tears left to cry. Rem's eyes were completely dry. Her heart felt like an empty void, a void that had lost all capacity to feel.
With a blank expression, the screen captured all of Rem's attention. Like a zombie, moving without thought, Rem watched as if her soul had already left her body.
The video resumed from the exact moment it had stopped when Rem passed out. She did not even notice. Whether she could still be considered alive was debatable.
As before, the events showed Subaru leaving the mansion. Carrying provisions for several days, Subaru parted ways with Rem and the others. Once he was far enough away, he turned and climbed the mountain beside the mansion. From there, he had a clear view of the entire estate.
As he rested his back against a rock, a mace struck it.
A mace.
Rem's vacant eyes shed a single tear.
She knew who it belonged to. The worst possible scenario.
Subaru's killer would once again be Rem.
Rem did not react. She understood what was happening, yet she did not flinch. Only her tears betrayed her emotions.
Subaru ran, unaware of who pursued him. Terrified, armed with nothing but a kitchen knife.
A dead end.
With no other option, Subaru turned to face his killer. Who could it be? Elsa again? He could think of no other name.
Trembling, he raised his knife toward the forest.
Rem emerged.
Subaru's grip loosened. His face twitched, and cold sweat ran down his forehead.
He shoved her aside and ran, but he did not get far. A wind attack tore through his ankle, severing it completely.
"Nee sama..."
Her sister had been involved as well.
Subaru screamed in agony, tears streaming down his face, as Rem healed his leg.
"Wait," Rem whispered.
The questioning began.
"Wait!"
She smashed her mace into his body.
"Stop it!"
Subaru screamed, unable to provide the answers she demanded.
"Don't!"
Her cries were meaningless. The past could not be changed.
Rem stood from her seat and screamed to herself. If this continued, he would die.
"Please!"
Her prayers fell on deaf ears.
With a final act of mercy, a wind slash cut through Subaru's throat, ending his suffering.
The screen went black.
And with that, Rem passed out once more, vomiting onto the floor.
"My love... is sick."