The moment I got home, I didn't even take two proper steps into my room.
I just dropped onto my bed.
Face first.
No elegance.
No dignity.
Just impact.
"Mmmrrgh," I said into the pillow, which was a very intelligent and meaningful statement if you ask me.
My brain replayed the day.
Unfortunately.
---
Saki's grandfather.
The interrogation.
The notebook.
The questions.
The way he stared at me like I was applying for a government security clearance.
I rolled onto my back and covered my face with both hands.
"Why did I say 'define speak'…"
Silence.
My soul left my body again.
---
I could still see it.
That moment.
He asked:
> "How often do you speak to her."
And instead of answering like a normal human being, I had decided to—
Challenge the definition of speaking.
Why.
WHY.
I kicked my legs on the bed.
"This is what happens when panic takes control of the steering wheel."
My brain kindly replayed more memories.
Which I absolutely did not ask for.
---
The hand gestures.
Oh god.
The hand gestures.
I slowly raised one hand and stared at it.
"You betrayed me today."
Because apparently my hands had decided to:
Draw circles.
Air diagrams.
Possibly invent a new language.
At one point I think I accidentally demonstrated orbit mechanics.
And Saki.
Traitor.
Absolute traitor.
> "Six times."
SIX.
I groaned loudly.
"Why did you correct me…"
Then again…
I turned my head toward the ceiling.
"…She was right."
Which somehow made it worse.
---
And then there was the moment.
The worst moment.
The moment my brain keeps replaying like a cursed video.
> "You care about her."
I swallowed.
Even now.
Even alone in my room.
My ears were getting warm.
"…Yeah."
I had nodded.
In front of everyone.
Saki.
Her parents.
Her grandmother.
Her grandfather.
The Notebook of Doom.
I rolled over again and buried my face in the pillow.
"I'm never showing my face again."
Pause.
"…Until tomorrow."
Because unfortunately I was definitely seeing them again.
Daily evaluation.
I shuddered.
---
But the thing that embarrassed me the most wasn't even the interrogation.
It was my attempts to act normal.
I stared at the ceiling.
"Normal people don't malfunction like that."
I tried to imagine what I must have looked like.
Stuttering.
Hand flailing.
Sweating like I was defusing a bomb.
Saki sitting there.
Blushing.
Also panicking.
Also not helping.
Actually, now that I think about it—
I slowly sat up.
"…We were both disasters."
That thought made me laugh a little.
Just a little.
Because honestly?
When she corrected my answers…
When she got embarrassed too…
When she grabbed my hand and dragged me to the park earlier…
My chest felt lighter.
Even after the interrogation.
Even after almost dying socially.
I leaned back on the pillow.
"…Still worth it."
Then my brain immediately betrayed me again.
Because it decided to replay:
Saki earlier today.
Blushing.
Avoiding eye contact.
Walking beside me quietly.
Saying she needed ice cream to recover from trauma.
I covered my face again.
"…We're really a couple now."
The words felt strange.
New.
Dangerous.
Embarrassing.
Warm.
I stared at the ceiling for a long time.
Then sighed.
"…Tomorrow I have to face her grandfather again."
My body immediately went stiff.
"Nope."
I sat up.
Then fell back onto the bed dramatically.
"I'm not ready."
Pause.
"…But I will go."
Because if I ran away now, Kyosuke would never let me live it down.
And more importantly—
I didn't want to run away.
Even if my dignity had already been destroyed today.
I stretched my arms above my head.
Exhaled slowly.
"Next time," I muttered, staring at the ceiling, "I'll answer normally."
A pause.
"…Probably."
Silence filled the room.
My exhaustion finally caught up with me.
The whole day felt like three weeks packed into one afternoon.
My eyes started closing.
But just before I drifted off, one final thought crossed my mind.
Saki's grandfather.
The notebook.
The questions.
I groaned quietly.
"…He's going to ask more tomorrow, isn't he."
Yes.
Yes he was.
And I was absolutely not prepared.
I was about three seconds away from falling asleep when my phone buzzed.
Once.
Then again.
Then a third time like it was personally offended that I hadn't checked it yet.
I slowly lifted my head from the pillow.
"…If that's my brother, I'm blocking him."
I grabbed the phone.
The screen lit up.
Saki.
My heart immediately sped up like it had a built-in panic button.
I unlocked the phone.
Message:
> Saki:
Are you alive?
I stared at it.
Then sat up.
---
I typed.
Stopped.
Deleted.
Typed again.
Deleted again.
Finally sent:
> Me:
Barely.
The reply came instantly.
> Saki:
Same.
Pause.
Then another message.
> Saki:
My grandfather just walked past my room.
I hid under my blanket.
I blinked.
> Me:
Why.
> Saki:
Survival instinct.
I nodded slowly.
That was fair.
Very fair.
---
Another message popped up.
> Saki:
Are you still embarrassed?
I stared at the screen for a full ten seconds.
Then typed:
> Me:
I don't think I'll recover for the next 15 to 20 business years.
Three dots appeared immediately.
Then disappeared.
Then appeared again.
Finally—
> Saki:
I knew it.
> Saki:
I'm also dying.
> Saki:
When he asked how many times we walk home together I almost evaporated.
I groaned and fell back onto the bed.
> Me:
YOU SAID SIX.
> Saki:
IT WAS THE TRUTH.
> Me:
YOU BETRAYED ME.
> Saki:
I panicked too!!
> Me:
You corrected me like it was a math test.
> Saki:
I'm sorry 😭
I stared at the screen.
Then sighed.
> Me:
…Okay that was kind of funny.
> Saki:
It was not funny.
> Saki:
My soul left my body when he said
"You are closer than I thought."
I laughed.
Out loud this time.
---
A new message appeared.
> Saki:
Also.
Pause.
Another message.
> Saki:
When he asked how we met.
I froze.
Oh no.
> Saki:
Why did you say vending machine like it was a crime scene.
> Me:
BECAUSE I WAS UNDER PRESSURE.
> Saki:
You looked like you were confessing to tax fraud.
I buried my face in the pillow again.
> Me:
I told him everything in the most embarrassing way possible in human history.
> Saki:
I noticed.
> Saki:
My grandmother almost laughed.
> Me:
She definitely enjoyed that.
> Saki:
She did.
> Saki:
She told me after you left,
"He's cute when he panics."
I froze.
My brain stopped functioning.
I slowly sat up.
> Me:
She said WHAT.
Three dots.
Pause.
> Saki:
Don't panic.
> Me:
I AM PANICKING.
> Saki:
Stop panicking.
> Me:
I CAN'T.
---
A few seconds passed.
Then—
> Saki:
Also…
I think my grandfather likes you.
I blinked.
Once.
Twice.
> Me:
That's impossible.
> Saki:
I'm serious.
> Me:
He interrogated me for two hours.
> Saki:
That's how he shows interest.
I stared at the message.
Horrified.
> Me:
I'm in danger.
> Saki:
Probably.
> Saki:
But you survived Phase One.
I groaned.
> Me:
THERE ARE PHASES??
> Saki:
I shouldn't have said that.
> Me:
TOO LATE.
---
Another pause.
Then she sent:
> Saki:
By the way…
I braced myself.
> Saki:
I keep remembering when you said
"I don't know anymore!"
I closed my eyes.
> Me:
Please delete that memory.
> Saki:
Never.
> Saki:
It's one of my favorites now.
> Me:
I'm suffering.
> Saki:
Good.
> Me:
You're cruel.
> Saki:
You love me.
My brain froze.
System crash.
Complete shutdown.
I stared at the screen like it had just exploded.
Three dots appeared on her side again.
Then disappeared.
Then came back.
> Saki:
WAIT
I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT
I MEAN
I DID
BUT
NOT LIKE THAT
I immediately typed.
> Me:
YOU JUST ATTACKED ME OUT OF NOWHERE.
> Saki:
I'M PANICKING.
> Me:
SAME.
> Saki:
IGNORE WHAT I SAID.
> Me:
TOO LATE.
> Saki:
FORGET IT.
> Me:
IMPOSSIBLE.
---
Silence.
Then slowly—
> Saki:
…so are you still embarrassed?
I leaned back on the bed again.
Thinking.
Smiling a little without realizing.
Then typed:
> Me:
Yes.
> Me:
But less now.
Pause.
Then she replied.
> Saki:
Same.
A few seconds passed.
Then she sent another message.
> Saki:
Also.
> Saki:
Tomorrow you have to face my grandfather again.
I stared at the phone.
My soul tried to escape my body again.
> Me:
Don't remind me.
> Saki:
Good luck.
> Me:
You're not helping.
> Saki:
I'll support you.
> Me:
How.
> Saki:
Emotionally.
> Me:
That's not enough.
> Saki:
I can hold your hand.
I stopped breathing for a moment.
Then typed slowly:
> Me:
That might actually help.
Three dots.
Then—
> Saki:
…okay.
A pause.
Another message appeared.
> Saki:
But if you panic again I'm laughing.
> Me:
Traitor.
> Saki:
Your girlfriend.
My brain shut down again.
I stared at the phone.
Speechless.
And the conversation…
Was definitely not ending anytime soon.