"Jiraiya, you fool came back too? What nonsense are you talking about? I can't understand your words."
Orochimaru glanced at Jiraiya outside the barrier with disdain before turning his attention back to Sarutobi Hiruzen.
He didn't have time to explain that he hadn't read Kakashi's book.
Sarutobi Hiruzen ignored the banter.
He noticed the chaos erupting below—Sand and Sound ninjas were attacking civilians, giant snakes were crushing walls.
He barked orders to the ANBU squads arriving on the roof.
"Protect the villagers! Secure the evacuation routes! Go!"
"Sandaime Hokage," a calm voice drifted from the shadows. "Need help?"
Hiruzen turn around.
"Just say the word, and the Tsuchikage, Mizukage, along with us, can help Konoha resolve this crisis. We can even help you deal with Orochimaru while we're at it."
Makoto had appeared on the rooftop at some point, standing right beside the ANBU captain.
The Konoha ANBU had only just noticed Makoto's appearance and were startled, immediately drawing their weapons.
"What are your intentions?" Hiruzen asked, his expression turning grave.
He hoped for help, but he knew better than anyone that there's no such thing as a free lunch in the world.
And for a mere "envoy" from Amegakure to claim he could command two Great Nations Kage? That was suspicious.
"Naturally, we have intentions," Makoto smiled. "The first is to prevent this pointless deathmatch between master and disciple. And to bring the traitor Orochimaru back to our Organization."
"Organization?"
Hearing this word, Hiruzen's mind raced.
He recalled his theory with Kakashi—that Orochimaru was behind the "Sasuke drinking milk" incident.
Now it seemed his guess was correct!
"Organization?"
Orochimaru also frowned inside the barrier.
'Could it be...'
WHOOSH.
Makoto tore off his civilian outer robe and tossed it aside.
Orochimaru stared intently at Makoto with a flicker of confusion in his snake-like eyes.
He didn't recognize this man.
"What are you looking at me for? Can't I take off a layer if I'm hot?" Makoto scoffed.
Then he looked up. "Konan, your turn."
At Makoto's command, Konan removed her bamboo hat and travel cloak.
Underneath it was the Akatsuki robe.
Giant wings made of paper sprouted from her back as she floated into the air above the barrier like an angel.
"Orochimaru," Konan looked down coldly. "Long time no see."
"It really is Akatsuki!" Orochimaru's expression tensed.
"Akatsuki?" Hiruzen muttered. "Isn't that the organization Itachi joined?"
Although Itachi was a spy, the only information Sarutobi Hiruzen currently knew was that this organization was called Akatsuki.
He didn't know their true power.
"Konan? So it really is you!"
Jiraiya, realizing that the blue-haired woman he saw earlier was indeed his former student, shouted toward the sky.
"Are you here to join forces with Orochimaru?! Have you fallen that far?!"
"Jiraiya-sensei," Konan looked down at him with pity. "Were you asleep just now? Didn't you hear Makoto say that we are here to help Konoha?"
"..."
Jiraiya instantly looked embarrassed.
"Then what exactly do you want?" he asked, trying to recover his dignity.
"First, to stop the fight and bring back Orochimaru," Konan listed. "Second, as compensation from Konoha... we require some Ninja Techniques and resources."
"You're taking advantage of the situation!" An ANBU captain shouted, unable to hold back. "This is extortion!"
"Taking advantage?" Konan's eyes narrowed.
"Our current Leader's parents were killed when your Konoha ninjas broke into their home during the war. Our previous Leader was manipulated and killed by your Danzo."
"We have now voluntarily set aside our hatred. We are offering to save your village from destruction. And you call it 'taking advantage'?"
"It seems that our willingness to let go of our hatred is useless. You are the ones who cannot let go of your prejudice and arrogance. You are the ones perpetuating the cycle of war..."
"STOP!"
Hiruzen intervened loudly.
He turned to the ANBU.
"Go support other areas immediately! Do not stay here! I am not in danger!"
He had to get these politically inept idiots out of here before they ruined everything.
In this critical moment, having a faction led by Jiraiya's former students offering help was a miracle.
How could the ANBU be so stupid as to provoke them?
Jiraiya was left speechless.
Just like Naruto when Neji countered his Talk no Jutsu, Jiraiya had been out-talked.
Konan took the moral high ground, slammed the door, and locked it.
What else could he say?
"Your conditions can be discussed slowly after this is over," Hiruzen shouted to Konan. "I guarantee in the name of the Hokage that we will not go back on our word!"
"But right now," Hiruzen looked back at the barrier. "The critical issue is that Orochimaru probably won't go quietly."
"Hehe, Sensei," Orochimaru chuckled, his tongue flicking out. "As expected, you understand me well."
He formed hand seals and slammed his palms on the roof tiles.
"Summoning Jutsu: Impure World Reincarnation!"
He had planned to play with Hiruzen first, but the appearance of Akatsuki forced his hand.
He needed heavy hitters.
Three wooden coffins rose from the roof tiles.
One marked "First". One marked "Second". One marked "Fourth".
"Not good! We must stop the last one!" Hiruzen panicked.
Minato? If he came back, it was over for him. (lmao, i suggest you guys check 'hood naruto' from tiktok or youtube, it was stupidly hilarious!)
Hiruzen threw shuriken at the third coffin.
But strangely, the coffin marked "Fourth" suddenly malfunctioned.
It stopped rising and sank back down.
'What the hell? The coffin dodged?' Hiruzen was stunned but relieved.
However, the relief was short-lived.
CREAK.
The lids of the first two coffins fell open and two men stepped out.
The God of Shinobi, Hashirama Senju.
The Creator of Jutsu, Tobirama Senju.
Their skin was cracked like dry earth and their eyes black.
"Orochimaru," Makoto's voice rang out again. "Don't rush to insert the control talismans just yet. I believe the two Hokage would be deeply concerned about Konoha's situation. They won't break free from the Impure World Reincarnation for the time being."
Just as Orochimaru pulled out two kunai with tags attached, he paused.
"Oh?" Orochimaru looked up, curious. "Do you have something to say to them?"
Also, how did this stranger know about the control tags?
"No," Makoto said. "I'm talking to you. Before you start the fight, take a look at this."
WHOOSH.
A photograph spiraled through the air.
It passed straight through the purple flames of the barrier without burning up.
Orochimaru raised a hand and caught it.
His heart jolted.
'It passed through the barrier just like that?'
Without further thought, he looked down at the photo.
It showed a pale boy with yellow eyes and blue-white hair.
He looked familiar.
"Who is this?" Orochimaru asked.
"Your son," Makoto said simply.
"..."
Jiraiya: "HUH?!"
Hiruzen: "..."
Orochimaru fell silent.
Surprisingly, he didn't question or deny it but instead asked, "Who are his father... or mother?"
"WHY 'OR'?!" Jiraiya screamed from outside the barrier. "AND WHY DON'T YOU KNOW?!"
"Orochimaru! Just how many men and women have you been intimate with?! Have you lost count?!"
Jiraiya clutched his head, nearly having a mental breakdown.
His teammate had become a gender-fluid playboy who abandoned his children?
"I don't know the specifics," Makoto shrugged. "But he's definitely your child."
"Answer my question Orochimaru, what do you mean you don't know?!" Jiraiya wailed.
He doesn't know the partner, but he knows it's his child?
Doesn't that mean Orochimaru really transitioning and went to... have an orgy?!
"Orochimaru! You! You've fallen so low!" Jiraiya shouted with tears of disappointment in his eyes.
"Shut up, you idiot," Orochimaru hissed, glaring at Jiraiya.
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