Jiraiya shook his massive white hair, feeling like he was indeed getting senile.
How could that possibly be Nagato having changed gender?
When he left Amegakure, Nagato was a ten-year-old boy.
That didn't mean he was still ten, obviously, but biology usually didn't flip like that.
"That person's voice just now really sounded like Konan..." Jiraiya muttered, leaning against the wooden wall outside the women's hot spring bath.
He stroked his chin, beginning to ponder and deduce with the mind of a legendary ninja.
"First, assume the owner of that voice was indeed Konan. Then the question arises... who was the handsome man beside her?"
If it had been Nagato who appeared, Jiraiya wouldn't have found it strange.
But instead, it was a stranger.
And based on Jiraiya's decades of "emotional research" (peeping and reading romance novels), their body language suggested a deep, intimate bond.
Therefore, that red-haired Uzumaki child absolutely couldn't be related to Konan alone.
Eliminate all impossible options, and the remaining option, no matter how absurd, must be true.
"That's Nagato and Yahiko's child!."
Jiraiya clenched his fist, glancing sideways at the sky at a dramatic 45-degree angle.
He stated the result of his analysis with zero hesitation.
Yahiko was definitely a boy—Jiraiya could confirm that, as they had peed together in the rain countless times.
But Nagato... Nagato was very shy.
He never used the restroom in front of others.
And when they were children, it was difficult to distinguish between boys and girls under those baggy raincoats...
Moreover, even if Nagato was really a boy, that didn't mean he couldn't give birth.
As recorded in the recently popular novel Vigorous Paradise, written by his talented junior colleague, "Hatake Kakashi," there were precedents for men acquiring the "Vagina" and undergoing miraculous transformations.
Jiraiya nodded sagely.
'I see, so Nagato is a mother now.'
Thinking this, Jiraiya didn't chase after them to investigate thoroughly.
He respected a mother's privacy!
Besides, he had a job to do.
The Third Hokage had summoned him back because the Mizukage, Tsuchikage, and Kazekage were all gathering in Konoha.
It was a diplomatic powder keg, and Jiraiya was the backup fire extinguisher.
If that really was Konan just now, it wouldn't be too late to reunite with her after the Chunin Exams ended.
...
Meanwhile.
"The Third Hokage of Konoha often uses the Telescope Technique to peek into the women's bathhouse."
"Besides the Third Hokage, his student Jiraiya also shares this habit. And he doesn't use ninjutsu. He prefers the thrill of physically peeping and being chased by angry women with towels."
Makoto explained to Konan why they absolutely couldn't go to the public bathhouse.
"What?!"
Before Konan could react, Karin, who was trailing behind them like a duckling, gasped in horror.
She had been grumpy earlier when Makoto forbade her from washing up since she felt dirty and gross.
But now, hearing that two of the most powerful men in the village were actually legendary perverts lurking in the steam? She instantly lost all desire to bathe.
How could there be people who enjoy watching strangers bathe? That's disgusting!
Karin felt immense disdain.
Konoha was truly a den of degeneracy!
"Then let's endure it for a few more days," Konan sighed, patting Karin's head. "We can bathe when we return to Ame. At least our perverts is not that bad."
The three of them wandered around for a while, ate a bowl of Ichiraku Ramen—which Makoto declared "acceptable but overrated"—and then followed the crowd of Genin heading to the second testing ground.
The preliminary written exam was over.
Now it was time for the elimination round.
...
The Forest of Death.
Also known as Orochimaru's All-You-Can-Eat Buffet.
Since he had just warned Konan, Makoto realized he should probably warn his other "allies" too.
He spotted the VIP group walking toward the observation tower.
"Mizukage, Tsuchikage," Makoto approached them casually. "I forgot to mention something yesterday. In Konoha, and even throughout the Land of Fire, you absolutely must not go to women's bathhouses or hot springs."
He said this straight to their faces.
Completely ignoring the Third Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, who was walking right next to them.
And completely ignoring the Fourth Kazekage (who was actually Orochimaru in a skin suit) walking on the other side.
"Huh? Why?" Mei Terumi blinked. "Is the service here that bad?"
"Or is the water quality poor?" Kurotsuchi asked.
"No," Makoto said loudly. "It's said that ever since the Third Hokage lost his wife many years ago, he's been somewhat depressed. He uses that crystal ball technique to peep on women every day..."
"Ahem! Ahem! AHEM!"
Sarutobi Hiruzen's face turned beet red.
He coughed violently, interrupting Makoto. "Friend from Amegakure! You can't falsely accuse an old man like that! That is slander!"
"And Jiraiya, one of the legendary Sannin," Makoto continued, ignoring the Hokage completely.
"lurks around women's bathhouses every single day to gather 'material' for his porn novels."
"That one is true," Hiruzen said instantly.
He nodded solemnly.
He had no choice.
If he denied both accusations, the Mizukage and Tsuchikage would suspect he was covering everything up.
But by confirming the latter? He could show that he was an honest leader who didn't blindly protect his own student's reputation.
He would courageously admit to Jiraiya's crimes.
Naturally, they wouldn't believe the accusation about him then.
Better the toad die than the monkey!
'Sorry, Jiraiya.' Hiruzen silently apologized to his student's future reputation.
"Konoha is just too... something, isn't it?" Kurotsuchi muttered, shaking her head. "Yesterday we even encountered two obsessed... women harassing him on the street."
Being young, she was too embarrassed to say "bitch" in front of the Hokage.
"Ah?" Hiruzen was taken aback.
Harassment? Obsessed women?
He was baffled.
He had lived in Konoha for decades.
He was the damn Hokage!
Why had he never encountered such fortunate incidents of being harassed by desperate beauties?
"Third Hokage," Mei Terumi smiled sweetly. "Since your Konoha is so perverted, why not just rename it the White Turbid Village?"
"..."
The air froze.
"Mizukage!" Kurotsuchi stared at Mei in astonishment. "What kind of outrageous words are you saying?!"
Even Hiruzen looked shocked.
White Turbid Village? Is she referring to... sperm?
"Kurotsuchi, what were you thinking about?" Mei Terumi raised her hand gracefully. She coated it with a layer of chakra, then opened her mouth.
Hauk-ptui.
She spat a mouthful of thick, white, boiling substance onto her palm.
It dripped onto the ground, sizzling as it melted the concrete.
"I was talking about my Lava Release," Mei smirked. "It's acidic mud. White and turbid. I meant that the Hidden Leaf should allied with our Mist Village. Did anyone misunderstand just now?"
"..."
Kurotsuchi's mouth twitched.
'You did that on purpose.'
"N-no, of course not, hehe," Hiruzen laughed nervously, wiping sweat from his forehead.
He realized these two young Kage were mischievous trolls.
Was he falling behind the times?
He glanced at the Kazekage.
Clearly, the Kazekage was much better!
He hadn't said a word this whole time. Just walked silently, radiating gloom.
Much more professional than this two troublesome woman!
"...As long as you all understand," Makoto deadpanned, impressed by Mei's dirty joke.
"Hokage-sama," Makoto turned to Hiruzen. "If it doesn't affect the exam, would it be alright if I observe from above the arena later? I want a better view."
"Huh? No problem," Hiruzen nodded, relieved to return to serious topics. "As long as it doesn't interfere with the students."
"I won't be going to watch," the Kazekage spoke up suddenly.
The second round was a survival exercise in the forest.
It wasn't spectator-friendly.
Most VIPs waited for the finals in the stadium.
"I have... matters to attend to," the Kazekage said.
Hiruzen didn't find anything unusual about this.
Rasa was always anti-social.
Only Makoto knew the truth, Orochimaru was leaving to go play in the woods.
He was going to go bite some children and give Sasuke a hickey!
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