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Chapter 20 - What We Pretend For Them

KEIFER POV 

The doctor's eyes flicked between me and the kids before settling on me again.

"She is stable for now," he said, voice calm but serious.

My chest loosened just a little — not enough to breathe normally, but enough to keep me standing.

"Mr. Watson, can I talk to you?" he asked, tilting his head toward the hallway.

I nodded immediately.

Behind me, Percy stepped forward.

"Kids, stay here and don't go anywhere," he said gently. "I'm also going."

Keira, and Kade all nodded, though their eyes stayed glued to me — scared, waiting

While Kevin is trying to be brave

The doctor turned and walked toward his office, and Percy and I followed him down the quiet hallway. Every step made my chest feel tighter.

He pushed the door open, walked behind his desk, and sat down with a tired sigh.

"Sit," he said, pointing at the two chairs in front of him.

We nodded and took our seats.

Percy sat stiffly beside me, hands clasped so tightly his knuckles were white.

I tried to keep my leg from bouncing, but my whole body felt wired.

The doctor folded his hands on the table, looked at me for a long second, and my stomach dropped.

"Mr. Watson… there are a few things we need to discuss."

My heart stopped.

Percy leaned forward immediately.

"What happened to my sister?" he asked, voice tight.

The doctor took a slow breath, choosing his words carefully.

"Well… she's extremely overwhelmed and might go into depression," he said. "Her anxiety level is hight and she's been carrying a lot on her own. She shouldn't be left alone for a while — someone needs to stay with her."

Percy swallowed hard, his jaw clenching.

The doctor continued, "And… I can tell something happened a few years back. While she was unconscious, her mind kept replaying certain memories. That usually means whatever happened still affects her deeply."

Percy's face fell, his eyes shining with fear and guilt.

I felt something heavy settle in my chest

Jay had been fighting battles

And now… we had to be the ones to help her through it.

"So, take care of her well," the doctor said gently.

I nodded, forcing myself to stay steady. "What about the cut on her hand?"

"It was deep," the doctor replied, "but nothing serious. We cleaned it and stitched it. It will heal."

Percy leaned forward, his voice tight.

"Did she cut herself, or was it accidental?"

The doctor shook his head immediately.

"Mr. Mariano, the cut was an accident. From what we saw, she must've fallen or fainted near the broken glass. Her hand likely hit a sharp piece when she went down."

Percy exhaled, shoulders dropping just a little — relief mixing with guilt. 

"Can we see her now?" I asked.

The doctor nodded.

"She's still unconscious, but you can go in. Just… be gentle."

We stepped out of his office, the hallway suddenly feeling too bright, too quiet.

Percy stopped walking and turned to me, his jaw tight.

"Did you listen to him?"

I nodded once.

His voice dropped, low and shaking.

"This is all because of you. And Aries. And your whole Section E."

I didn't flinch.

I deserved that.

"I know, Percy," I said quietly. "After we realized our mistakes, we searched for her everywhere. Day and night. You know that too."

Percy's eyes flickered — anger, guilt, exhaustion all tangled together.

"You should've never let it get this far," he said, voice cracking at the edges.

"I know," I repeated, softer this time. "But I'm here now. And I'm not leaving her again."

Percy looked away, swallowing hard.

For a moment, neither of us spoke.

Percy's jaw tightened.

"Stay away from my sister and the kids."

I met his glare without backing down.

"No. I already lost her once. I'm not going to do it again."

He opened his mouth—ready to fire back—but Kevin walked up to us, eyes still red from crying.

"Tito… can we see Mama?" he asked softly, looking straight at Percy.

Percy froze.

His anger melted instantly.

He picked Kevin up gently, holding him close, and nodded.

"Yeah, buddy. Let's go see her."

Kevin wrapped his arms around Percy's neck without even glancing at me.

And that… stung.

Keira and Kade had been clinging to me the whole time.

But Kevin—my eldest—hadn't said a single word to me since we got here.

I watched him bury his face in Percy's shoulder, and something twisted in my chest.

I don't really understand why Kevin isn't talking to me.

Not like Keira.

Not like Kade.

Maybe he's scared.

Maybe he's angry.

Maybe he blames me.

And honestly… I wouldn't blame him.

But right now wasn't the time to ask.

Right now, all that mattered was Jay.

I walked toward Jay's room, and Keira and Kade were waiting right outside the door.

Kade reached for my hand immediately.

"Can we see Mama?" he asked, his voice small.

I nodded.

"Let's go see your Mama," I said softly, guiding both of them inside.

The room was quiet, the only sound the steady beeping of the monitor beside her bed.

Kevin was already there, sitting in the chair closest to Jay.

He was holding her hand with both of his, his head bowed.

"Sorry, Ma…" he whispered, his voice cracking. "I'm really sorry."

Kade let go of my hand and walked to the other side of the bed, gently brushing Jay's hair away from her face.

Keira climbed onto the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb anything, and rested his head on her arm.

I stood at the foot of the bed, watching all three of them cling to her like she was the only thing keeping them steady. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

JAY-JAY POV 

I woke up slowly, my eyes blinking against the bright hospital lights.

For a second, everything felt blurry — the room, the beeping, the smell of disinfectant.

Then it hit me.

I was in a hospital bed.

My heart jumped into my throat.

"Where are the kids?" I asked immediately, looking around, panic rising in my chest.

Before I could sit up, a small voice broke through.

"Mama…"

Kevin rushed to my side and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me so tight it almost hurt.

I hugged him back just as tightly, burying my face in his hair.

"Oh baby…" I whispered, my voice cracking. "I'm right here."

He pulled back just enough to look at me, his eyes red and puffy.

"You scared us," he said quietly, his bottom lip trembling. "Don't do that again, Mama… please."

My chest tightened.

I cupped his cheek gently.

"I'm sorry, Kev. I'm so, so sorry."

Keira peeked from behind Kade, eyes wide and shiny.

I opened my arms wider.

"Come here, all of you."

Kade climbed onto the bed first — protective, staying close to my side like he was guarding me.

Keira crawled up next, curling into my other arm.

Kevin stayed pressed against me, still shaking a little.

I kissed the top of each of their heads.

"I'm okay," I whispered, even though I wasn't sure I believed it yet. "I'm right here."

"Jay, are you okay?" Keifer asked, his voice low, careful.

I nodded slowly, still trying to process everything.

Before I could say anything else, Percy practically launched himself at me.

"Baby Sistah!" he cried, wrapping me in a hug so tight I could barely breathe. "Don't do that again, you scared me so much—"

He didn't even finish the sentence before he started kissing my forehead.

Once.

Twice.

Again.

"Percy, stop—" I tried to push him away, but he just held my face and kissed my forehead even more aggressively, like he was trying to erase the last twelve hours with affection alone.

"NO," he said dramatically. "You scared me. You get forehead kisses until I calm down."

"Percy—"

"Shh," he said, kissing my forehead again. "Therapy."

Keira giggled from the foot of the bed.

Kade rolled his eyes but smiled.

Kevin just shook his head like he'd seen this a thousand times.

Keifer stood there watching us, a small, relieved smile tugging at his lips.

"Keifer, can I talk to you alone?" I asked, my voice softer than I meant it to be.

Keifer nodded immediately, worry flickering across his face.

I turned to the kids and Percy.

"Kids, let's go," Percy said quickly, stepping into full Tito‑mode. "I think they have ice‑cream in this hospital."

Keira's eyes lit up instantly.

Kade perked up a little, trying to act like he wasn't excited.

Kevin hesitated, glancing at me one more time before Percy gently nudged him toward the door.

"Come on, big man," Percy said, placing a hand on Kevin's shoulder. "Your Mama needs a minute."

Kevin nodded and followed the others out.

Percy paused at the doorway, looked back at me, and mouthed, I'll be right outside.

Then he closed the door behind them, leaving just me and Keifer in the quiet room.

The silence felt heavier now.

Keifer stepped closer to the bed, his eyes searching mine.

"What did you want to talk about, Jay?" he asked softly.

I took a breath, steadying myself.

"Look, Keifer… the kids want to be with you. And I don't want to be the kind of mother they grow up hating because I didn't let them see their father."

His eyes softened instantly, hope flickering across his face.

"So… you're allowing me to be with the kids. And you?" he asked, voice lifting, almost happy.

I looked down at my hands.

"The kids, yes," I said quietly. "But me…"

His smile faded instantly.

I forced myself to meet his eyes, even though everything in me wanted to look away.

"No," I said softly but firmly. "We pretend we're okay in front of them. But behind them… you and I are not the same. We're not fine. We're not fixed."

Keifer's expression tightened, the hope draining from his face.

"Jay—"

I shook my head.

"You don't get to act like everything's normal just because you're back now. You don't get to walk in and expect us to pick up where we left off."

He swallowed hard, stepping closer but stopping himself before he reached the bed.

"I'm not pretending," he said quietly. "I know we're not okay. I know I hurt you. I know I broke something I can't just glue back together."

His voice cracked, just barely.

"But I'm trying," he whispered. "I'm trying to be better. For them. For you."

I looked away, blinking back the sting in my eyes.

"I'm not saying you can't try," I said. "I'm saying… don't expect me to meet you halfway. Not yet."

A long silence settled between us — heavy, honest, painful.

Keifer nodded slowly, accepting it even though it clearly hurt.

"Okay," he said softly. "Then I'll meet you wherever you are. Even if it's far."

And for the first time, I saw it —

not the boy who left me,

but the man who was trying to come back.

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