Ten.
Nine.
Eight.
Breathe.
Seven.
Six.
Five.
Squeeze.
Four.
Three.
Two.
See.
One- means you check, and if it's still bad- start again.
And again she started the countdown but, nothing changed. She still felt like Crap.
She remembers what happened. She could practically live the moment over and over again. April teased, Malcolm looked at her and then a blur. A killing migraine.
Elijah brought Malcolm home from the hospital. The burn wasn't severe; they were discharged after the wound was dressed and given medicine prescriptions for the coming days.
There were people inside the condo, yet it felt unbearably empty- so quiet that even breathing sounded intrusive. They found Amy seated silently on the couch, her eyes fixed on her feet. One hand clutched the sleeve that had caught fire earlier. April had locked herself inside her bedroom closet.
"You take the Amy. I'll take April," Malcolm said, already heading toward her room.
Unfortunately, this wasn't the first time something like this had happened. Malcolm had several ideas where to look for April- but Elijah stopped him, worry etched on his face.
"Are you sure?" Elijah asked, pleading, both of them glancing at Amy on the couch.
"I'm sure," Malcolm replied, and continued down the hall. "I don't think I can face her yet"
Elijah didn't know what to do for someone who clearly wanted to be alone- so he just handed Amy a box of tissues. "Don't keep it all. It never helped anybody"
And Amy did cry that day.
But Malcolm wasn't having it any easier. He stopped at April's door and knocked.
Silence.
That was new.
Usually, April rushed to apologize or scrambled to fix things. The quiet told him everything- this time, she was blaming herself. Harsh. And knowing April, she was carrying far more than she should.
"Knock back if you can hear me," Malcolm said gently. "I'm worried" These were uncharted waters. Caution mattered.
A faint knock answered him then.
"The doctor said it'll heal in two weeks," Malcolm continued, pausing to listen.
Nothing.
"It doesn't really hurt after some pain meds-" He stopped again.
Still nothing.
"It's just really itchy," he added, sliding down to sit on the floor. "Do we even have something to cover it when I sho-?"
The door opened.
Malcolm found himself on April's floor, looking up at her- sad, rigid, trying to be strong.
How does one cheer up the cheerleader?
"Hi" Malcolm waved awkwardly to April who didn't wave back like usual.
"I screwed up your relationship," April admitted as she sat on the bed. Crying. "Again."
Malcolm waved it off. "Erica doesn't count. And Amy isn't my girlfriend."
"I knew how you get around your crush," April cried aloud. "And I still pushed!"
Malcolm stiffened, uncomfortable- but he still pulled her into his arms. That wasn't what happened at all. It wasn't April's joke that unnerved him. Malcolm got rejected even before he could confess.
"I'm actually grateful to you," he said once her shaking eased.
April pulled back, confused. "What? Why?"
"Now that I know how we both feel," Malcolm said quietly, his voice breaking, "I feel lighter."
"Oh, honey," April murmured, guiding his head into her lap. "It's going to be okay."
"What's wrong with me?" Malcolm asked no one in particular. Choking. "Why do I always want what I can't have?"
April blinked back the tears. "You don't know for sure if she doesn't want to date you."
"I know what I saw, April," Malcolm said. "And she clearly doesn't want me."
"But you do want he," April said softly.
"I do," he admitted, miserable.
"Then," April whispered, rocking him gently, "I say you take whatever you can get."