Damien.
I glared at my reflection, those piercing grey eyes staring back at me as if they belonged to a stranger. The mirror offered no answers, only accusation. I searched my own face, my mind straining to piece together what had just happened, how I had lost control so easily. My jaw tightened, muscles in my neck flexing as frustration simmered beneath my skin.
It had taken only seconds. Mere seconds.
Her golden eyes had found mine, and everything else had blurred into nothingness. The room, the tension, my caution—all of it dissolved the moment her gaze locked onto me. There had been something in them, something warm and dangerous, something that reached inside my chest and pulled without permission. I hadn't chosen it. I hadn't invited it. Yet I was helpless against it.
I had been drawn to her instantly, as if my body had recognized something my mind refused to accept.
And that was the most terrifying part.
Even now, my body hummed with restless dissatisfaction. The pull hadn't faded; if anything, it had grown sharper, more insistent. I needed her, really needed her presence, her closeness, her warmth in a way that unsettled me deeply. It wasn't just attraction. It was hunger. A craving that sank into my bones and refused to let go. I clenched my fists, wishing, against reason, against responsibility that Davian hadn't intervened. Wishing I had been allowed just a little more time. One more second. One more breath.
I hated myself for that thought.
I had watched Maria for as long as she was brought into the pack by us. I had studied her movements, her silences, the way she observed before she spoke. Every instinct in me had searched for cracks, for signs of deception. And yet, no matter how many times I replayed her actions in my head, I couldn't fully brand her a spy. The suspicion lingered like a shadow, but it never solidified.
I had been ready, ready to stand before my brothers and argue her innocence. Ready to convince them to give her a chance. Ready to accept her, to seal the bond that my soul already seemed to be reaching for.
But then Anabel's face surfaced in my mind, sharp and unforgiving.
The incident replayed itself relentlessly, each memory striking like a blade. The fear. The helplessness. The reminder of how easily everything could be taken from us. My chest tightened as grief and dread twisted together, suffocating and familiar.
I loved my sister more than my own life.
After losing our parents, she had become more than blood, she was my responsibility, my promise, my anchor. I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to her. Not again. Not ever. The risk was too great, the stakes too high.
My siblings were all I had left in this world.
And no matter how strong the pull was, no matter how fiercely my body and soul rebelled, I wasn't willing to lose them for anyone else.
Not even her.
I shifted slightly where I stood, and like an unwelcome tide, the conversation with Vanessa resurfaced, flooding my thoughts without mercy.
"How could you all do this to me?" Vanessa's voice echoed again, raw and broken, as though the pain refused to fade even with time.
She had stood so close then, too close her soft hands striking weakly against my chest, each hit filled more with despair than anger. Tears slid endlessly down her cheeks, leaving shimmering trails that cut straight through me. Her lips trembled as she looked up at us, betrayal written plainly in her eyes, and that look alone felt heavier than any blow she could have delivered.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't in my right senses," Aidan had said, his voice low and strained, as though the words tasted bitter on his tongue.
"Same here," Adrien added quickly, guilt shadowing his features as he avoided her gaze.
Their apologies hung in the air, fragile and insufficient.
I said nothing.
Silence wrapped around me like a confession I couldn't bring myself to voice. What could I possibly say that wouldn't sound hollow? That I loved her? Because I did, there was no point denying that. Vanessa had been a constant, a warmth I'd once leaned into without hesitation. Yet love did not erase the damage I had helped cause. It didn't excuse the way her heart cracked open right in front of us.
Hatred curled inward, sharp and merciless, but it wasn't directed at her. It was aimed squarely at myself.
Before she could pull away, before the distance between us widened beyond repair, I stepped forward and drew her into my arms. The hug was instinctive, desperate. I held her close, pressing her trembling body against my chest as if I could shield her from the hurt we had inflicted. My hand moved to her back, patting gently, awkwardly, while her sobs soaked into my shirt.
She cried softly, broken sounds muffled against me, and each one felt like a blade carving guilt deeper into my chest.
Within seconds, Aidan joined us, his arms wrapping around her from the side. Adrien followed, then Davian. We closed in around her, a silent circle, holding her together as though our combined presence might somehow undo what had already been done. It was a strange, tangled embrace, comfort and remorse woven tightly together.
"I promise you, Vanessa," I heard myself say, the words leaving my mouth before my mind could stop them. "I would only be with you."
She clung tighter at that, as if the promise were a lifeline.
But even as I spoke, something twisted painfully inside me.
Because deep down—somewhere buried far beneath loyalty, beneath guilt, beneath everything I wanted to be true—I knew it was a lie. Not one born of cruelty, but of weakness.
My heart might still ache for Vanessa, but my body… my soul… craved someone else entirely.
Maria.