"That is," Naruto said slowly, his voice carrying across the crowd of nervous candidates, "to make friends with me, you must have a friendly fight with me first."
He gestured with one hand, as if the concept were perfectly simple. "Because only in this way can I see whether you're sincere about befriending me. Only after a friendly fight, and only after I recognize your strength, will you become my friend, Uzumaki Naruto's friend."
The moment those words left his mouth, the crowd erupted.
"What? A fight?!"
"Is he serious?"
"Fight with HIM?"
Voices overlapped in a cacophony of disbelief. Nearly every candidate present had witnessed Naruto's battle with Orochimaru, one of the Legendary Sannin. They'd watched a legend die at this blonde boy's hands. The idea of " fight " anything with him felt less like friendship and more like suicide.
"Naruto can't be serious," one Kusagakure ninja muttered, his voice strained. "He's so powerful... how could any of us possibly compete with him? The strength gap is too wide!"
"What's even the point of a discussion like that?" another added.
"Yeah, but..." A Takigakure kunoichi frowned. "He doesn't look like he's joking. I guess this is what it takes to earn a strong person's approval."
Near the back of the group, a Sunagakure genin let out a bitter laugh. "At first, I thought Naruto might have some strength requirement. I even thought it'd be a shame not to become friends with someone so strong." He shook his head. "Now? Now I think it's a shame TO become his friend. I don't want to get beaten up."
"So what do we do?" someone else hissed. "Looking at Naruto's stance, I get the feeling we're not getting out of this. If I'd known we'd meet a monster like this, I never would've come to Konoha for the exam. It's too late for regrets now."
Among the gathered candidates, three faces stood out as particularly uncomfortable. The Sound ninja trio from Otogakure, Dosu, Zaku, and Kin, looked like they'd swallowed something foul.
Dosu's face twisted with regret. "I knew it," he muttered through clenched teeth. "We should've become friends with Naruto back in the Forest of Death when he first asked. We could've gotten beaten then and been done with it."
"All our planning was for nothing," he continued bitterly. "Now we're going to get beaten anyway."
Zaku and Kin exchanged miserable glances. The memory of what had happened last time, that unspeakable incident with the vibration technique, was still fresh in their minds. Would something like that happen again?!
Naruto paid no attention to the murmurs rippling through the crowd. He wasn't worried about these people refusing to become his friends. The Ultimate Taijutsu System had explained the process clearly.
If someone doesn't become your friend after one friendly fight, then have two fight.
If they still haven't become friends after that, then have ten fights. A hundred fights. A thousand.
In this world, there was no problem that couldn't be solved through a hundred fight discussions.
With that ironclad logic in mind, Naruto felt perfectly at ease. After all, these ninja from other villages had traveled all the way from their hometowns to take Konoha's Chūnin Selection Exam. He couldn't let them leave empty-handed, could he? They had to make at least one friend in Konoha before going home. And Naruto was more than happy, honored even, to be that friend. They could carry his friendship back to their villages like a precious souvenir.
At the front of the group, Kankuro's eye twitched uncontrollably. His face puppet mimicked the motion, which only made things worse.
Why? Why had he stepped forward?
He hated his personality right now. Always needing to challenge people, always wanting to test himself against anyone who looked strong. When he got back to Sunagakure, if he got back, he was going to work on being less conspicuous. Much less conspicuous.
Kankuro desperately wanted to retreat, to melt into the crowd and let someone else volunteer. But he didn't dare. One wrong move and Naruto might transform into that five-meter-tall monster form and smash him into paste with a single punch.
If that happened, he wouldn't be Kankuro anymore. He'd be Kankuro-paste. Ground into the dirt one fist at a time, spread across the training ground like jam. The ending would be tragic. The process didn't matter.
The more Kankuro thought about it, the more sweat beaded on his forehead. He glanced back over his shoulder at his younger brother, Gaara.
If anyone here could compete with Naruto, it was probably Gaara. As the One-Tail Jinchūriki, if Gaara unleashed Shukaku's full power, maybe, just maybe, he could fight Naruto on even ground.
Everyone else, including Kankuro himself, had no chance whatsoever.
He stared at Gaara pleadingly, silently begging for help. But Gaara simply stood there with his arms crossed, expression calm and utterly unhelpful. His teal eyes met Kankuro's gaze without offering even a hint of support.
Kankuro's shoulders slumped. Right. He was on his own. And being on his own meant one thing: getting beaten.
Accepting his fate, Kankuro turned back around. He suppressed the fear churning in his gut and forced his face into something resembling a confident smile.
"Oh, yes!" he said, injecting false enthusiasm into his voice. "What Naruto-kun said really fits my own philosophy."
He stood a little straighter, trying to project confidence he didn't feel. "I, Kankuro, would never choose weak people as friends. After all, how could some weak guy be qualified to be my friend? That wouldn't make sense."
Kankuro cracked his knuckles, and his puppet mimicked the gesture beside him. "So let's do this, Naruto. Let's see if I can earn your approval." He paused, then added with as much bravado as he could muster, "And at the same time, I want to see if Naruto is qualified to earn mine."
As he spoke, Kankuro kept his expression carefully relaxed. He even ignited a small flicker of battle spirit in his eyes, just enough to look serious. While maintaining this facade, his ears strained to catch the reactions from behind him.
"Now that's a brave man..."
"No coward, that one."
"Good job!"
Several candidates gave him approving thumbs-up. Kankuro nodded internally, satisfied. At least his performance was convincing. Even if he got beaten senseless in the next few minutes, he'd go down with dignity.
Besides, everyone here was in the same boat when it came to facing Naruto, weren't they? They were all trash compared to him. The older brother shouldn't laugh at the younger brother, they were all equally doomed.
Naruto's face brightened with genuine satisfaction at Kankuro's words. "In that case, Kankuro, let's begin. Show me your sincerity in wanting to become my friend."
He shifted into a ready stance, weight balanced, fists loose at his sides.
The Nine-Tails, who had been lounging in Naruto's arms, immediately perked up. With a graceful leap, the miniature fox bounded onto Naruto's shoulder, settling there with obvious excitement. His tails swished back and forth as he stared at Kankuro with undisguised anticipation.
Watching Naruto make friends was always entertaining. Too bad he hadn't brought any snacks to munch on during the show.
Seeing Naruto drop into his fighting stance, Kankuro felt a wave of relief wash through him. At least Naruto hadn't transformed into his giant form right away. That was something. If Naruto had gone straight to his ten-meter Iron Body transformation, Kankuro would've dropped to his knees and begged for mercy on the spot.
Of course, Naruto had no intention of using his full strength. He never did when making friends. His body remained at its normal size, compact and deceptively ordinary. Inside, he carefully restrained his power, consciously pulling it back like reining in a wild horse. If he wasn't careful, if he let even a fraction of his true strength slip, he might accidentally kill Kankuro, his future friend.
Fortunately, Naruto's control over his own body had reached a subtle, precise degree. He could regulate every ounce of force with surgical accuracy. There was no risk of losing control anymore.
"Well, Naruto," Kankuro said, forcing confidence into his voice. "Just do your best. That way, I can feel your respect for me as an opponent."
His momentum couldn't falter. Not now. Kankuro repeated the mantra in his head like a prayer. The momentum cannot be lost. The momentum cannot be lost.
Standing off to the side with Sakura, Sasuke felt his expression go deadpan at Kankuro's words. Besides the Nine-Tails, Sasuke was the person who knew Naruto's true strength better than anyone.
If Naruto actually respected Kankuro enough to use his full power, Kankuro would die with dignity. He'd be pulverized so thoroughly there wouldn't be enough left to bury.
Of course, Sasuke knew Naruto would never go that far. His purpose wasn't to kill opponents. It was to make them submit through overwhelming force and become his friends afterward.
That's how Sasuke himself had become Naruto's friend, after all.
Well... actually, Sasuke had never submitted to Naruto. Never. What had happened was that before their first real fight, Sasuke had promised that if Naruto could defeat him, he'd become Naruto's friend. So when Naruto won, Sasuke was simply keeping his word. He was a man who honored his promises.
Yes. That's exactly what happened. Sasuke nodded to himself, satisfied with this version of events, then turned his attention back to Naruto and Kankuro as they prepared to fight.
Just as the two squared off, preparing to clash, a figure suddenly appeared between them in a swirl of leaves.
Both Naruto and Kankuro stopped mid-motion, surprised. The newcomer was one of the proctors from the second exam, a chunin with a Konoha headband and an official-looking clipboard.
Naruto and Kankuro exchanged puzzled glances, wondering why this ninja was interrupting their fight.
Seeing that his sudden appearance had successfully halted the battle, the proctor took a moment to scan the gathered candidates. Then he cleared his throat and began repeating the message Lady Mitarashi Anko had given him.
"Listen up, all candidates!" His voice carried authority despite the nervous tremor underneath. "You are to set off immediately for the third exam venue. The third exam will begin shortly."
He paused, then added with more emphasis, "Hurry up! All the jonin instructors and Lord Hokage himself are waiting for you."
The moment those words registered, nearly every candidate in the crowd released a collective sigh of relief. The tension that had been building snapped like a cut wire. This announcement was equivalent to a divine rescue. Finally, they wouldn't have to fight Naruto.
Kankuro felt his shoulders sag with relief so profound he almost felt dizzy. But he couldn't let it show. He still had to maintain that confident facade he'd built up. His momentum couldn't crumble now, even if the fight was cancelled.
Thinking quickly, Kankuro arranged his features into an expression of deep regret. "Naruto, this is truly unfortunate," he said, shaking his head slowly. "Although I really wanted to have a friendly exchange with you right now and become friends..."
He gestured helplessly at the proctor. "But look, the third exam is starting. Such terrible timing." Another head shake, this one more exaggerated. "It's really, truly a shame that I couldn't become your friend immediately."
For added effect, Kankuro made his puppet shake its head too, manually adjusting its neck joint to mirror his own disappointed gesture. Even his puppet was sorry, see?
"Actually, there's no need to feel regret," Naruto said simply, as if stating an obvious fact. "We can compete right now."
Kankuro's false smile froze on his face.
To Naruto, making friends was far more important than any Chūnin Exam. The exam didn't matter at all. Sarutobi Hiruzen could wait a little longer. Old people were always more patient than young people, anyway.
Before Kankuro could formulate a response, the proctor spoke up. He looked directly at Naruto, his tone taking on a note of urgency. "Naruto, the Third Hokage is waiting. I hope you can prioritize what's important."
"Prioritize?" Naruto looked at the ninja thoughtfully, then nodded. "I understand."
Hearing Naruto's agreement, the proctor visibly relaxed. He was one of the witnesses who'd seen Naruto's strength firsthand during the fight with Orochimaru. He'd been terrified that Naruto wouldn't listen to reason, that he'd get beaten up for interfering. But Naruto was being so reasonable. What a relief.
"I think making friends is more urgent!"
The proctor had opened his mouth to thank Naruto when he saw the fist coming.
It happened too fast to react. One moment Naruto was standing several feet away. The next, his fist connected with the proctor's face with a meaty THUD, accompanied by Naruto's calm, matter-of-fact words.
The proctor's scream cut off abruptly as he went flying backward, tumbling across the ground in a shower of dirt and leaves. The moment he stopped rolling, he scrambled to his feet and vanished in a Body Flicker, not even bothering to collect himself. He had to get away. Had to report back to the Third Hokage. He couldn't handle Naruto. Didn't have the strength to handle him. Nobody did.
"Okay, Kankuro," Naruto said, turning back to the Sunagakure ninja with a pleasant smile. "Now you don't have any regrets."
The other candidates stood frozen, question marks practically visible above their heads. For three glorious seconds, they'd been free. The third exam was starting. They wouldn't have to fight Naruto. Then, just like that, their hopes were crushed under Naruto's fist along with the proctor's face.
Even the exam proctors got blown away when they tried to interfere. Naruto's determination to make friends with them was absolutely unshakeable.
Kankuro's eye twitched again. Right. There was no avoiding this beating. He might as well take it with dignity.
"By the way, Naruto," Kankuro said, gesturing toward the Nine-Tails perched on Naruto's shoulder. "That little fox is your pet, right? I suggest you have him move somewhere safe. It would be bad if I accidentally hurt him during our fight."
At those words, the Nine-Tails' expression shifted to one of pure disdain. His lips curled back slightly, revealing tiny fangs.
Accidental injury? This human thought he could hurt even a single hair on the Nine-Tails' magnificent pelt? How laughable. If this puppet user could manage such a feat, the Nine-Tails would be genuinely impressed.
"No need," Naruto said, shaking his head. "Just fight however you want. You won't accidentally hurt him. Trust me."
Seeing that Naruto was certain, Kankuro stopped wasting time. He opened his mouth, and three kunai shot out in rapid succession.
"Black Secret Technique: Mouth Release!"
The kunai whistled through the air in a tight formation, aimed at Naruto's center mass.
Naruto simply shifted his weight, dodging to the side with minimal movement. As the kunai passed by him, he reached out casually and plucked all three from the air mid-flight. Without pausing, he whipped his arm forward and sent them flying back toward Kankuro.
The Sunagakure puppet user's eyes widened. He threw himself sideways, the returned kunai embedding themselves in the ground where he'd been standing a moment before.
Kankuro's mind raced as he rolled back to his feet. Naruto had caught his kunai like they were moving in slow motion, then returned them with even more force. He needed a new strategy. Something to limit Naruto's advantage.
"Black Secret Technique: Poison Smoke Bomb!"
Kankuro thrust both hands forward. From the joints of his puppet's body, thick purple smoke began billowing out in enormous clouds. Within seconds, the poisonous mist had engulfed Naruto completely, obscuring him from view.
The smoke spread rapidly, covering a ten-meter radius. Other candidates scrambled backward, coughing and covering their faces.
Kankuro allowed himself a thin smile. This was his strategy: block Naruto's vision with poison smoke, then strike while he was disoriented. Under visual impairment, even someone as strong as Naruto would have to worry about avoiding attacks he couldn't see coming.
Plus, the smoke itself was toxic. Breathing it in would cause dizziness and nausea in most people.
Inside the purple cloud, Naruto immediately closed all the pores across his body, sealing them shut to prevent poison absorption. At the same time, he activated his Ki and blood sensing ability.
The technique flooded his awareness with information. He could feel every living presence nearby through the flow of their life energy, their blood pumping through their veins, their breath moving in and out of their lungs.
Naruto had noticed that ninja seemed to really love blocking vision as their first tactic. Terumi Mei had done the same thing with her Hidden Mist Jutsu. Kankuro was using poison smoke. If Naruto were an ordinary ninja, these tactics might work.
But he wasn't ordinary. He could sense opponents through their Ki and blood regardless of whether he could see them or not.
In an instant, Naruto locked onto Kankuro's precise position. Without hesitation, he burst forward through the smoke.
Three more kunai shot through the purple haze, aimed at the sound of Naruto's movement. They struck Naruto's body dead-on with sharp metallic CLINKS.
All three bounced off harmlessly, leaving not even a scratch on his skin.
"How is that possible?" Kankuro's voice carried clear shock from somewhere in the mist.
His kunai had hit Naruto directly, multiple confirmed impacts. But they'd all been deflected like Naruto's body was made of solid steel. And somehow, impossibly, Naruto was still charging straight toward him through the poisonous smoke. Unaffected. Unharmed.
How had Naruto locked onto his position? The poison smoke should have completely obstructed his vision!
Kankuro felt ice settle in his gut. He'd really encountered a monster. Someone possibly even more terrifying than his younger brother Gaara.
In the past, Kankuro had been willing to challenge anyone except Gaara. Now he'd have to add Uzumaki Naruto to that very short list. These two couldn't be provoked under any circumstances.
Before Kankuro could formulate another plan, Naruto mobilized his Instantaneous Movement technique. His body flickered through the smoke like a ghost, arriving at Kankuro's position in the span of a heartbeat.
Naruto's fist shot forward, aimed at the puppet standing beside Kankuro.
The puppet's face, which had been blank and expressionless, suddenly twisted into a look of theatrical surprise. Its mouth creaked open, and Kankuro's voice emerged from inside it.
"Naruto, how did you know this was my real body?"
The moment the question finished, Naruto's fist connected with the puppet's face with a bone-rattling CRACK.
Naruto didn't bother answering.
"Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!"
Inside the poisonous mist, the sound of fist meeting flesh echoed again and again in rapid succession. Dense, meaty impacts that made several watching candidates wince with sympathetic pain.
The smoke still obscured everything, but the sounds painted a vivid picture. Someone was getting thoroughly, comprehensively beaten.
Among the other candidates, faces turned grim. After Kankuro finished his turn, it would be someone else's turn. Then another. Then another. The beating would continue until everyone had gone through "the process."
In Naruto's friend group, Sasuke and Sakura wore matching expressions of grim understanding. They could both imagine exactly what was happening inside that smoke cloud.
When the mist cleared, Kankuro would definitely have a swollen face covered in bruises. It was inevitable.
Rock Lee clenched his fists, his entire body practically vibrating with barely contained excitement. He desperately wanted to trade places with Kankuro. It had been so long since he'd sparred with Naruto. Too long. He really wanted to experience that feeling of youth again, that burning passion that came from testing yourself against overwhelming strength.
Beside Lee, Tenten finally came back to her senses. She glanced between her two teammates, understanding dawning on her face.
One was missing a few brain cells. The other was completely insane. That's why they kept insisting she become friends with Naruto. They didn't understand normal human self-preservation instincts.
The sound of impacts continued echoing from within the purple smoke, each one a promise of pain to come for the candidates still waiting their turn.
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