Chapter 77: A World-Shaking Kneel? No, a Slap Instead
So that's how it was. Hikigaya Hachiman finally discovered the source of Nagasaki Soyo's issues.
Soyo's constitution was too weak. In this state, even though he had exorcised all the influence of the Cursed Spirits from her, her frail body was eventually invaded by "miasma" (residual cursed energy). However, this invasion of negative energy only manifested as nightmares, physical discomfort, or minor ailments like a common cold.
Hachiman was all too familiar with nightmares. His own Innate Technique, [Nightmare Murmurs], allowed him to enter the dream worlds of others. The nightmare energy from Nagasaki Soyo could even serve as "feedback" to nourish Hachiman; he treated it like grinding experience points for his proficiency. Besides, Hachiman was genuinely curious about the past shared by Toyokawa Sakiko, Wakaba Mutsumi, and Nagasaki Soyo.
"Papa is gone. He's never coming back."
As a bystander, Hachiman saw the elementary school version of Nagasaki Soyo. With a look of utter confusion, she crossed out her original surname, "Ichinose," and changed it to "Nagasaki." Little Soyo didn't understand then that divorce meant the shattering of a family; she only knew that her mother began to numb herself with high-intensity work, leaving early and returning late, sometimes not coming home for long periods.
From then on, Nagasaki Soyo became exceptionally sensitive and cautious. She tried her best to be a "good girl," fearing that she, too, would be abandoned. Fortunately, her mother never did; she even worked desperately to provide Soyo with better living conditions, eventually sending her to "Tsukinomori Academy," a prestigious girls' school that only "ojou-samas" could attend.
There, Nagasaki Soyo met new friends. Hachiman then saw her practicing the cello—an instrument she had never touched before—just to fit into the environment of the [Orchestra Club] and deepen her relationships with her friends. She practiced those scores even deep into the night.
Seeing this, Hachiman concluded that Nagasaki Soyo possessed a "devotional personality." In other words, if someone gave her even a "certain amount" of specialized favor, she would turn around and give all her love back to them tenfold.
Once captured by this "gravity," she would always put other people's thoughts and will first, often brainwashing herself with thoughts like, "Anything is fine, I don't mind."
For those with devotional personalities, there is one crucial requirement: their lives must have a "spiritual anchor." Without one, they fall into a state of extreme insecurity.
Initially, Nagasaki Soyo hadn't found that anchor—until she encountered Toyokawa Sakiko, who sought her out personally. Afterward, through Sakiko, Soyo met Wakaba Mutsumi, Shiina Taki, and Tomori Takamatsu. The five girls formed their own band, CRYCHIC.
"Now that we've all joined the band, we are a 'destiny community' from now on."
Toyokawa Sakiko said this with a smile. When Hachiman heard this sentence, it felt incredibly familiar. Sakiko had said the exact same thing to him. Last time, when they were in the car and Hachiman said they were close comrades-in-arms fighting side-by-side, Sakiko's response was that they were a "destiny community."
Hachiman had thought it was an exaggeration, but hearing it from Soyo's perspective, it actually sounded wonderful. Good grief, so Sakiko had used that specific line to trap Nagasaki Soyo so thoroughly.
Soyo already lacked a sense of security, and then one day, someone personally came to recruit her, showing her immense value—a persistence that felt like "it has to be you." Soyo, having never experienced such treatment, was dazed by Sakiko's rapid-fire combination of charms, losing all sense of direction. This caused her to immediately identify the band "CRYCHIC" itself as her spiritual anchor.
Soyo prioritized the band above all else, taking it upon herself to maintain the team's unity. As Hachiman had seen from the videos on Soyo's phone earlier with the new band, Soyo was the "Number Two" figure after the leader Sakiko, responsible for connecting all those "problem children" together. Most of the people in the band were problem children; just thinking about it made Hachiman realize how heavy Soyo's workload was.
She was essentially giving and forgiving like a mother.
Hachiman even saw a scene of Mutsumi singing. Surprisingly, she was dancing and singing at the same time, and even the "dorky" Sakiko was laughing. Their first live show, going to karaoke together, crying while singing on stage... Hachiman watched the time these girls spent together, which indeed made the bonds of the band grow deeper and deeper.
Unfortunately, the good times didn't last. Sakiko, the founder, began coming to school less and less, and she stopped attending band practices entirely. The band's "activities" mostly consisted of the other four waiting in silence for her to show up. After waiting and waiting, when Sakiko still didn't come, Soyo and the others would finally start their ensemble practice.
Soyo still held onto her fantasies, but then came the day of the heavy rain, which utterly shattered her band dream.
"I'm here to end the band."
Sakiko, who hadn't come to the band in a long time, appeared. It was pouring outside, and since she didn't have an umbrella, she was soaked to the bone. Yet, even with her clothes drenched, that determined look in her eyes never changed. Hachiman had never seen the "Customer Service Sakiko" show this kind of expression to him.
The soaking wet Toyokawa Sakiko stood there, her eyes clearly red from crying. She looked pitiful yet strangely strong. This was the prototype of the Sakiko Hachiman knew now. It was
likely from the moment she quit the band that Sakiko became unapproachable, hiding her true vulnerability under a hedgehog-like exterior.
Sakiko was resolute; nothing Soyo said mattered. But what Hachiman didn't expect was that the final, fatal blow came from Mutsumi.
"I never thought..." Wakaba Mutsumi said in a voice devoid of emotion, clutching her guitar and turning her back to her bandmates. "...that being in a band was fun."
Hachiman conservatively estimated that this one sentence from Mutsumi shattered at least three hearts simultaneously.
'Was Mutsumi's attack power always this high?'
Hachiman understood a bit better now why Soyo spoke to Mutsumi the way she did when he first saw them in the parking garage. Mutsumi was socially awkward; it wasn't hard to guess that her words were meant to help Sakiko, but the delivery was too cruel. It tore apart the band Soyo had worked so hard to sustain, becoming the final straw that broke the camel's back.
Soyo really had it rough. She treated Mutsumi like a younger sister, yet she was constantly backstabbed at critical moments. After saying those words, Sakiko left decisively, leaving the four of them standing foolishly in the room.
The rest didn't need to be said. From then on, Sakiko vanished from Soyo's sight, becoming a "friend" who existed only in her contact list. Soyo had dreamed this dream many times, and every time she remembered it, it was filled with despair and suffocation.
However, Soyo's escapism made Hachiman feel angry—a sense of "frustration at her lack of will." You've seen the "Little Kid" (Nina) go berserk; how are you still this cowardly?
But the day Sakiko left was one of the darkest periods of Soyo's life, a severe mental trauma. Even in her own dream, Soyo was nearly suffocated by this terrifying reality.
"This is your dream. I don't even know what you're afraid of."
Hachiman stepped forward and grabbed the girl who was crouching on the ground and weeping.
"Go find the person you want to find!"
"Hikigaya-kun?" Soyo was shocked that Hachiman's figure would appear in her dark memories of the day CRYCHIC collapsed.
"Why is Hikigaya-kun here?"
What surprised her even more were Hachiman's words and what he was trying to lead her to do.
"Life is so short; aren't you going to take hold of it?"
Outside the door was a twisted black void with no path to walk, but before Soyo's eyes, that illusory darkness suddenly began to form a clear road and lights. Before her, the figure of Toyokawa Sakiko appeared, walking away without looking back.
That was a phantom scene Hachiman had specially created for her. It wasn't real; it was just something constructed from illusory Cursed Energy. After all, this hallway didn't exist in Soyo's memory, and even Sakiko's back was a fake. Hachiman just wanted Soyo to say the things she had wanted to say in the restaurant but hadn't—to vent properly.
Hachiman felt a flinch from Soyo's hand. She was clearly afraid.
"If you're still this hesitant even in a dream, you're truly beyond saving."
Hachiman pulled Soyo from behind him to his side, then used his large hand to grip hers, forcibly helping her grab "Toyokawa Sakiko's" hand.
"Be more decisive! Be like Nina!
Words kept in your heart will never be heard by the other person. Only words spoken from your mouth can reach them."
"Like Nina..." Soyo repeated the phrase blankly. Even though it was a memory from before her blackout, it was crystal clear. Even though Nina Iseri had a small frame, her body seemed to contain massive energy; she dared to stand up and question people to their faces. Nina threw out all her problems and doubts without hesitation, and she wouldn't let you go until she got the answer she wanted.
That persistence was something Soyo deeply envied.
"Since it's a dream, do whatever you want." Hachiman was truly irritated by Soyo's pathetic state. "Don't suppress yourself. No one will know your true thoughts."
Hachiman's words sounded both like encouragement and a devil's whisper, opening a new path in Soyo's ears.
"Like Nina."
"Express yourself honestly."
Soyo repeated it again. Her crying face shifted; her eyebrows curved, and her gaze gradually became resolute.
"Right." Hachiman helped Soyo grip "Sakiko's" arm and helped her pull "Sakiko" over. "Get over here!"
But what Hachiman didn't expect was that while he only intended to pull "Sakiko" back, Soyo used that momentum to twist her body and deliver a backhand slap.
"Huh?" For the first time, Hachiman wondered if he had pushed too hard. He saw a Nagasaki Soyo completely different from her usual weak self. The Soyo before him, with a face full of resolve, slapped the "Sakiko" she had conjured.
Slap! It was incredibly crisp.
"You're absolutely pathetic!"
From Soyo's eyes and tone, it was clear she was trying very hard to imitate Nina Iseri.
"Saki, what did you think our 'destiny community' band was?" Soyo gritted her teeth. "Did you ever consider our feelings?"
Even though tears were flowing and her voice was sobbing, Soyo's gaze remained steadfast.
"We aren't puppets in your hands." Just like Nina, Soyo was currently like a powder keg. "Don't treat us like your toys—picking us up when you want to play and discarding us when you don't. I won't be swayed by you anymore!"
As Hikigaya-kun said, this was Soyo's dream. She was the master. If being honest and explosive like Nina was an option and no one would know, then why not be rebellious for once in a dream?
Because of this, the usually gentle Soyo slapped Sakiko's face. Hachiman felt a bit worried; if she "hit hard" like this when she saw the real Sakiko, his sins would be great indeed.
After delivering that slap, the suppressed emotions within Soyo felt exceptionally relaxed. In the real world, Hachiman saw that Soyo's furrowed brow had smoothed out significantly; she had clearly released all her pent-up stress.
As for what Soyo was thinking: "Saki, I'm sorry. But this feels so good."
Soyo was finally living up to her name—she was "Nagasaki Soyo." Being suppressed by Saki, she hadn't been able to feel "great" at all, living a life of "long-term vegetarianism" (a pun on her name). Now that she had seen Nina's way of life, Soyo tried to stop being a "vegetarian," and the result was pure satisfaction.
Once Soyo felt "great," her deep, terrifying nightmare vanished along with it.
"A strange dream."
In the early morning, Soyo opened her eyes with a sense of satisfaction. In her hazy consciousness, it still felt a bit unbelievable. "I... actually slapped Saki."
But as soon as she thought that, a sharp pain shot through her head—a hangover headache. "It hurts..."
Soyo shook her head and opened her eyes to see the familiar ceiling of her living room. "Am I at home?"
Soyo's memory stopped at drinking with her new bandmates. They were drunk and stumbling out of the restaurant she had gone to since she was a child. She only remembered falling into Hikigaya-kun's arms before losing consciousness. She couldn't remember anything specific after that.
Soyo rubbed her head. She couldn't even remember why she was lying on the sofa at home. And why was this hangover headache so intense? Everything was still a bit blurry. Having never experienced being drunk before, waking up the next day made her feel like the room was spinning.
Soyo tried to sit up from the sofa. As she did, the warm, damp towel that had been placed on her head slid down in front of her. She looked at the towel, the blanket covering her, and the glass of water prepared on the coffee table in case she was thirsty, feeling a bit bewildered.
Her mouth was parched. Soyo reached out and picked up the glass. "It's warm."
Soyo judged from the temperature that the water hadn't been sitting there long. Since it wasn't cold yet, it was fresh. After drinking the warm water in one go, she felt significantly better.
"Is Mom back?" In her mind, her mother was the only one who would care for her with such meticulous detail. No one else.
"Are you awake, Nagasaki?"
Suddenly, a familiar male voice made the dazed Soyo jump. She was instantly wide awake. "Hikigaya-kun?"
Hachiman heard the rustling from the sofa and realized that "Ms. Soyo"—who had just given him a "slap-shock" in the dream—was awake. Soyo had led him through the history of the CRYCHIC band from beginning to end, and by the time he finished browsing, it was almost dawn. Hachiman had used shredded ginger, honey, sugar, and vinegar to brew a pot of hangover soup. A person who knows how to cook usually has these simple ingredients on hand.
"Come over and drink the hangover soup on the table while it's hot. Breakfast is almost ready."
Soyo stared blankly. In her kitchen, she saw a busy figure. It was Hikigaya-kun. The boy was wearing a white shirt with his sleeves rolled up, revealing sturdy forearms. He expertly flipped a poached egg in the pan without even using a spatula. From the toaster nearby came the rich, wheaty aroma of browning bread.
The various pleasant scents melded together, creating an atmosphere that made Soyo feel incredibly at peace. She continued to stare like an idiot; her brain clearly hadn't fully processed the situation.
But then, Soyo suddenly remembered from her fragmented memories that Hikigaya-kun had brought her home. An amazing thought occurred to her: Did Hikigaya-kun take care of me all night?
"Damn it... it turns out drinking really does mess things up."
Read ahead (40 chapters) by supporting me on buymeacoffee com/varietl or ko-fi edwriting