Chapter 115: The Mayor of Chaos and the Decree of the Golden Gouda
In the absence of blue status windows and floating quest markers, the citizens of Twilight City were wandering around like NPCs whose scripts had been deleted. They didn't know how to trade without a "Trade Menu," and they certainly didn't know how to resolve disputes without a duel.
Enter Aki.
"People of Twilight! Listen to the voice of experience!" Aki shouted, standing atop a literal mountain of empty crates in the city square. He had fashioned a makeshift cape out of three different silk curtains and was wearing a feathered hat he'd 'liberated' from the museum. "The old gods are gone! The blue windows are shattered! But fear not, for I, Aki the Copper Conductor, have a plan to lead us into a golden age of prosperity—and snacks!"
Von (Volt) stood in the shadows of a nearby clock tower, leaning against the cold stone with his arms crossed. "I give it ten minutes before they throw a shoe at him."
Rena, holding a clipboard (which she found surprisingly more effective than a magic staff for organizing people), checked her notes. "Actually, Von, they're listening. Look at them. They're desperate for anyone to tell them what to do. Even if that 'anyone' is a thief who once tried to pickpocket a statue."
The New Laws of the Land
Aki unrolled a long parchment that hit the ground and kept rolling until it reached the feet of a very confused baker.
"Law Number One!" Aki bellowed, pointing a dramatic finger at the crowd. "All currency is now backed by the 'Gouda Standard.' Gold is shiny, yes, but can you eat it? No. From this day forward, the value of your labor shall be measured in slices of high-quality cheese!"
The crowd murmured. A merchant raised his hand. "Lord Mayor... how many slices of cheese for a cow?"
Aki paused, his eyes darting around as he did some very suspicious mental math. "Twelve slices for a cow! Fifteen if it's a cow that makes especially creamy milk! Next question!"
"Law Number Two!" Aki continued, not giving them time to process the cow-math. "The use of the words 'Level Up,' 'XP,' or 'Loot' is strictly prohibited. If you find something on the ground, it is not 'loot.' It is a 'found object of accidental ownership.' And if you want to keep it, you must pay a 5% 'Finders Fee' to the Mayor's office—which is currently located in the back of the tavern."
[INTERNAL DIALOGUE (Von): He's literally legalizing pickpocketing. I should stop him. But then again, watching the High Council members try to calculate their taxes in cheese is the most fun I've had in a thousand years.]
The First Crisis: The Tax Rebellion (of One)
The honeymoon period of Aki's mayoralty lasted exactly four hours. It ended when Sai, who had been appointed 'Head of Public Works' (mostly because he was the only one strong enough to move the boulders blocking the main road), marched into the tavern-office.
"Aki! The people are complaining!" Sai shouted, slamming his hand on the table, which made Aki's plate of cheese jump in the air. "The blacksmith says he can't pay his 'Mayor's Tax' because you already 'found' his favorite hammer this morning!"
Aki looked shocked, his hand clutching his chest. "Sai! How could you accuse me of such a thing? I didn't steal it! I was simply... auditing the structural integrity of his tools. It's a very important safety check!"
"He wants it back, Aki," Sai growled.
"Fine! But tell him it's now a 'Safety-Certified Hammer' and he owes me a loaf of bread for the inspection!" Aki shouted as Sai walked out, muttering about how he missed fighting dragons.
The Shadow in the Mayor's Office
As the sun began to set, the comedy faded into something more serious. Von walked into the office, his presence immediately cooling the room.
"Having fun, Mr. Mayor?" Von asked, sitting across from Aki.
Aki slumped in his chair, his feathered hat tilted to one side. "It's harder than it looks, Von. Everyone wants something. The roof leaks, the kids are crying because there are no more 'Skill Points' to spend, and I'm pretty sure the baker is trying to counterfeit the cheese by using orange-colored wax."
Von leaned forward. "The System provided order, Aki. It was a cruel order, but it was simple. Now, the order has to come from us. Not from cheese-taxes, but from trust."
Von pulled out a small, non-magical map of the surrounding territories. "There are rumors of 'System Remnants' in the South. Cultists who want to bring back the Architect. If they succeed, your cheese-laws will be the least of our worries."
Aki stood up, straightening his scarf. "So... no more mayor stuff? We're going back to being 'The World's Most Wanted'?"
"We were never anything else," Von smiled.
Aki grabbed his daggers and a particularly large wedge of Gouda. "Alright then. Sai! Rena! Pack your bags! The Mayor is going on a 'Diplomatic Mission'—which is thief-talk for 'we're going to blow something up before it kills us'!