Chapter 103: The King, The Thief, and the Skeleton Picnic
The Dead Marshes were finally behind them, but the stench of sulfur and thousand-year-old socks seemed to have taken up permanent residence in Aki's hair. As the party trudged onto the dry, grassy plains leading toward the Capital, the atmosphere was... awkward, to say the least.
Behind Von (Volt) marched the remnants of the Iron Legion—five hundred silent, glowing-eyed skeletons in rusted armor. It would have been a terrifying sight, a legendary king returning with his undead army, if it weren't for the fact that one of the skeletons was currently carrying Aki's laundry.
"I'm just saying, Von," Aki muttered, pointing a finger at a skeleton whose ribcage was being used as a drying rack for a pair of silk socks. "If they don't have skin, they don't have unions. No unions means free labor. This is the first time in my life I've felt like a true aristocrat. Look at 'Bonesy' over there; he hasn't complained once about the smell of my boots!"
Rena facepalmed so hard the sound echoed across the plains. "Aki, those are the legendary soldiers of the Iron Legion. They fought in the War of the Fallen! They are ancient warriors bound by a sacred oath to the Demon King! They are not... they are not your personal valets!"
"Sacred oath, sacred schmoath," Aki waved her off, reaching into the ribcage of another skeleton to retrieve a half-eaten apple he'd stored there earlier. "They were just standing there, Rena. Bored. Skeletal. I'm giving them a sense of purpose. Right, Bonesy?"
The skeleton let out a hollow, clicking sound with its jaw—which Aki interpreted as enthusiastic agreement.
Von (Volt) walked at the front, his gaze fixed on the distant spires of the Capital. The two fragments of the 'Crown of Eternal Night' were pulsing against his chest, their dark energy slowly knitting his fractured mana veins back together. He tried to maintain his 'Brooding Dark Lord' persona, but it was difficult when Sai was having a heated argument with a skeletal lieutenant about shield maintenance.
"No, no, no!" Sai was shouting, gesturing wildly at the lieutenant's rusted buckler. "You don't use swamp mud to polish steel! That's how you get 'Mana-Rust.' Do you want your shield to shatter the moment a High Mage sneezes at you? Honestly, a thousand years in the mud has turned your brain—well, your lack of brain—into mush!"
The skeletal lieutenant tilted its head, its blue soul-fire flickering in what looked like genuine confusion.
[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION: Current Party Morale: Unusually High (and Weird). New Hidden Stat Unlocked: 'Undead Hospitality'. Warning: The Academy has placed a 1,000,000 Gold bounty on your heads. Note: Aki is currently valued at 5 Gold and a half-eaten sandwich.]
Aki stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes bulging as he read the system prompt floating in the air. "Five gold?! FIVE GOLD?! Von, tell the system it made a mistake! I stole the Heart of the Mountain! I single-handedly—well, with a little help—deflected an Avatar's toe! I should be worth at least a decent villa and a lifetime supply of vintage wine!"
"The system is surprisingly accurate," Von remarked, a ghost of a smirk playing on his lips. "Your greatest contribution so far has been providing a distraction by screaming like a terrified seagull."
"A terrified seagull?!" Aki gasped, clutching his chest. "That was a tactical sonic distraction, Rena! Tell him!"
Rena just sighed and kept walking. "I'm with the King on this one, Aki. If anything, the five gold is an overestimation. The sandwich is the real prize."
As the sun began to set, casting long, violet shadows across the plains, the playful banter died down. The Capital was now visible—a massive fortress of white stone and golden banners, protected by a dome of celestial energy that shimmered like a soap bubble.
[ALERT: Entering 'Zone of Divine Influence'. The Academy's Detection Grid is active. Stealth is no longer an option.]
Von stopped, his eyes turning back into bottomless pits of obsidian darkness. He raised his hand, and the five hundred skeletons behind him instantly dropped Aki's laundry and drew their rusted swords. The air grew cold, and the grass beneath Von's feet began to wither and turn black.
"The joke is over," Von said, his voice now carrying the weight of a mountain. "They think their walls can keep out the night. They think their 'Justice' is absolute. Tonight, we remind them that even the sun must set."
Aki swallowed hard, his bravado disappearing as he drew his daggers. "Right. Dark Lord mode. Got it. But for the record, if we die, I'm haunted the system until it raises my bounty."
Sai raised his shield, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the skeletal lieutenant he had just been lecturing. "We're with you, Von. Let's show these Academy bastards what a 'failure' looks like."
As they marched toward the gates, the sky began to fracture once more, violet lightning dancing between the clouds. The King had returned to his Capital, and he wasn't coming back for a diploma.