Chapter 092 Hikigaya Steals Underwear!
"Please, I'm already a twenty-year-old woman..."
'I'm in hell.'
"Clinging to my brother... how would that look..."
'I'm in hell.'
Alarm-clock-kun, pull me back to reality right now!!
"Hikigaya-kun, wake up."
Hikigaya rubbed his sleepy eyes and found that the person waking him was Hirata Yousuke, much to his surprise.
"I am very sorry to disturb your rest," Hirata said with an apologetic face.
"It's fine. What time is it? It shouldn't be time for roll call yet, right?" Hikigaya looked outside; it was barely dawn, maybe a little past six.
"It's 6:15. However, something happened on the girls' side, and we need to gather everyone urgently." Hirata's expression was somewhat serious.
Hikigaya looked toward the camp and saw that the girls of Class D were all up, gathered in front of the boys' tent with furious expressions, looking ready for a crusade.
"What's going on? Waking people up so early?" The boys being roused were bewildered. Yamauchi and the others grumbled about "girls being a hassle," but after meeting the sharp glares of the girls, they realized the severity of the situation.
"Shinohara-san, all the boys are here now." Hirata Yousuke took the initiative to ask, "So, what exactly is this serious incident?"
"Sorry, Hirata-kun. Although this has nothing to do with you, we have to drag out the culprit no matter what!" Shinohara Satsuki, leading the girls, glared arrogantly at all the boys.
Even though she was targeting "all boys," she specifically excluded Hirata.
'Handsome-privilege is way too obvious' Hikigaya thought.
He cast an inquiring look at Sakura Airi and Hasabe Haruka, but they looked just as dazed.
"This morning, a serious theft occurred in the girls' luggage area!" Shinohara barked, her voice cold. "Karuizawa-san's underwear is missing. Do any of you know who did it?"
"Huh?!" Hirata's face showed genuine shock. He clearly hadn't expected something so outrageous.
"What? Karuizawa's underwear was stolen?"
"Which one of you guys did it? You must be pretty repressed, huh?" Yamauchi and the others looked on with schadenfreude. Since the "Gyaru" leader Karuizawa Kei often clashed with them, they were more than happy to see her suffer.
"Hirata-kun, look at these guys!" The boys' reaction only solidified the girls' suspicion.
"Karuizawa-san is crying in the tent right now; Kushida-san and the others are comforting her..." Shinohara pointed a finger at the boys, gritting her teeth. "The culprit is among you!"
"Hey, hey! What do you mean by that?"
"On what basis do you suspect us?" Jokes aside, the boys weren't about to let a theft charge stick to them.
"Who else could it be but you guys?" Shinohara insisted.
"Are you kidding? We won't accept being blamed for no reason!" Yamauchi and the others shouted back.
The two sides bickered relentlessly. During this, Hikigaya locked his gaze on Manabe Shiho, who was pretending to be indignant but couldn't quite hide the slight upward curve of her lips.
'Deliberately inciting infighting in Class D—is this Ryuen's tactic?'
"Ayanokouji, I remember you went to the bathroom last night and came back late, right?" Ike Kanji, perhaps trying to suck up to Shinohara, suddenly threw Ayanokouji Kiyotaka under the bus.
"Huh? I just got lost..." Ayanokouji replied with his usual deadpan face, but the excuse was so lame it sounded incredibly suspicious.
Even Hikigaya threw a suspicious look his way—though he didn't think Ayanokouji stole underwear; he suspected the guy was up to something else entirely.
"Just 'got lost'?" Yamauchi fanned the flames out of jealousy over the "favor" Ayanokouji had received from the Class C girls.
"You didn't 'get lost' into the girls' luggage area and 'accidentally' take Karuizawa's underwear, did you?"
"No, I didn't," Ayanokouji denied it tonelessly, which made him look like he lacked confidence.
'Well, that's the price of hanging out with bad friends.'
Hikigaya almost wanted to laugh. He didn't know what Ayanokouji was thinking, trying to join Yamauchi's little clique since enrollment, even acting as a lackey.
'The logic of a 'fake human' is truly different from a normal person.'
"Everyone, calm down first!" Hirata tried to smooth things over as usual. "I believe Ayanokouji-kun wouldn't do such a thing. Besides, there's no evidence. Maybe Karuizawa-san just misplaced it?"
However, this ambiguous stance didn't sit well with the girls.
"In any case, this must be cleared up! We can't accept living with an underwear-stealing pervert!" Shinohara was aggressive, and her tone was nasty.
'This woman is a piece of work too...'
She was attacking the entire male population indiscriminately. Rather than standing up for Karuizawa, it felt like she was just using a "righteous cause" as a pretext to vent her frustration on boys.
"Please, everyone, be patient. There must be a way to resolve this," Hirata pleaded.
"We know Hirata-kun isn't the culprit, so please let us check the boys' bags!" Shinohara made an unacceptable demand.
"What?!"
"Who gave you permission?"
"On what grounds are you invading our privacy?" The boys strongly opposed this unreasonable request.
"Everyone, don't get excited. Let's talk about this," Hirata said to the girls with a sincere attitude. "Sorry, can you give us a moment?"
It looked like Hirata was going to compromise. Unsurprisingly, he turned back to the boys and begged them to make a concession.
"I know this is unreasonable, but for the peace of the class, we have to do this. I'm asking you, please..." With that, Hirata didn't hesitate to kneel before the boys in a standard dogeza!
This move stunned all the boys.
"Is it that serious?"
"He went that far..."
Now, no one could say anything. Hirata had hoisted the flag of "justice for the class," making it impossible for the boys to refuse without looking like villains.
Yamauchi and the others muttered about Hirata being a "wimp," but only Hikigaya understood. Someone like Hirata would pay any price to protect his ideal "Class." But once the "Class" collapsed, how much more insane would this man become?
Thus, with Hirata leading by example, the boys reluctantly handed over their bags for a public search. At Hirata's suggestion, the search was conducted by the girl with the best reputation: "Kushida the Angel."
Kushida agreed on the surface, but inwardly she was cursing. If she found nothing, it would be fine, but if she actually found something, the culprit would hate her forever.
Why did she have to do such a thankless job? Under the expectant eyes of everyone, she began searching the bags one by one.
"See? Falsely accusing people... you girls better apologize to us later!" Yamauchi's group shouted after being cleared of suspicion. Shinohara's face turned grim. Had they really accused them wrongly?
If that's the case... Hikigaya suddenly had a bad feeling. Based on his knowledge of Ryuen, if he ordered Manabe to incite infighting, the best target for framing would be someone from a small clique like Yamauchi's, because clique-vs-clique conflict is more explosive. Framing a loner only targets one person.
"Wait..."
Kushida's face stiffened as she searched his bag. Her hand, inside the bag, refused to come out. She looked at Hikigaya with total disbelief, as if asking: How could it be you?
'Yeah, why me?' Hikigaya was also seriously considering this question.
"Kushida-san, what's wrong?" The girls noticed her expression and cast suspicious looks.
"Ah, um... it's nothing." Kushida's eyes darted around, trying to cover for him.
"Wait! Kushida-san, what are you holding!" Shinohara rushed forward and forced Kushida's hand out of Hikigaya's backpack.
A pair of cute pink underwear appeared in everyone's sight.
"!!!"
"It was actually you, Hikigaya?!"
"You dead-fish-eyed creep! You act all serious, but you're actually a pervert who steals underwear!!"
The crowd erupted.
"This... there must be some mistake..." Hirata looked incredulous.
"Hirata-kun, don't cover for him! The evidence is right here. He's the one who stole Karuizawa-san's underwear!" Shinohara looked triumphant, like she finally had a leash on him.
"Haha! I knew it was Hikigaya!" Yamauchi's group, who had been clashing with Shinohara, suddenly reached a consensus. Indeed, the best way to unite is to establish a common enemy.
Hikigaya watched the whole scene coldly. He didn't explain, didn't deny, and didn't argue.
"Hey! Say something, pervert thief!" Shinohara yelled from her moral high ground.
"That's enough, Shinohara! You've been spouting nonsense this whole time. Are you an idiot?" Hasabe Haruka suddenly barked.
"Hasabe, wh-what did you say?" Shinohara's face fell. She hadn't expected the usually uninvolved Hasabe to snap at her.
"I said you're an idiot! Didn't hear me? I'll keep saying it until you do! Idiot, idiot, idiot!!!" Hasabe pointed a finger at her nose, firing a barrage.
"How can you say that?" Shinohara's face turned red. Then she found a "weakness": "Ah, I get it! You're close to Hikigaya, so you're just making excuses for him!"
"Heh! So you do know I'm close to Hachi?" Hasabe admitted it openly and sneered. "Use that walnut-sized brain of yours. How could Hachi possibly do something like stealing underwear?"
"Hmph! Who knows? You can't judge a book by its cover!!"
"No, that's wrong!" The socially anxious Sakura Airi finally spoke up. "Hachiman-kun would never steal Karuizawa-san's underwear!"
"Sakura-san, everyone knows you're close to him too." Shinohara frowned, implying her testimony was unreliable.
But Sakura's next sentence left her dumbfounded.
"Pre-precisely because we are close... if Hachiman-kun were actually interested in a girl's underwear, he... he could just ask me for mine!" Sakura raised her voice to sound brave.
Sssss—!
Such a tactic existed?! Even Hikigaya was shocked by her bold declaration.
"Airi is right!" Hasabe gave her best friend a thumbs-up. Then, to add weight, she added: "If Hachi wanted underwear, he could just ask us for ours! He doesn't need anyone else's!!!"
Another bombshell. The crowd was stunned into silence.
"What... what is this?"
"Damn winner-in-life, just go die already!!!" Yamauchi and the others erupted in screams of maddened envy.
"This... this..." Shinohara's face went from green to white. She stubbornly doubled down: "Even so! That doesn't prove Hikigaya didn't steal Karuizawa-san's! Maybe... maybe he just likes her style?"
She knew she was grasping at straws, but she had gone too far to back down now.
"Impossible!" Sakura and Hasabe shouted in unison.
The instigator, Manabe Shiho, was enjoying the show immensely.
She complained inwardly: 'Who exactly is this 'Dead-fish Eyes'? Because of him, Ibuki and Shiina in my class opposed Ryuen's plan. Now girls in Class D are defending him too.'
But it didn't matter. As long as there was a victim, it would be hard for him to clear his name.
She had chosen Karuizawa's underwear for a reason.
Karuizawa was a strong-willed "Gyaru"; if her underwear was stolen, she would surely turn the world upside down to find the thief. But for some reason, the usually arrogant Karuizawa had broken down and was crying in the tent like a weak, easy-to-bully girl.
'That woman should have been leading the charge against Hikigaya.'
Manabe felt she had miscalculated that part.
"Regardless, the item was found in Hikigaya's bag. He's the prime suspect!" Shinohara held onto that point, leaving the two girls speechless with rage.
"Hahaha..." Hikigaya laughed.
"What are you laughing at?" Shinohara forced herself to stay calm.
"So, what does that prove?" Hikigaya hit the core of the issue.
"It proves you stole—"
"Who saw it?"
"..."
"I could just as easily say I saw Manabe steal it last night and put it in my bag." Hikigaya pointed the spearhead directly at the hidden mastermind, Manabe Shiho.
"Huh? What does this have to do with me?" Manabe panicked inwardly but acted calm. "Which eye saw me do it?!"
"Yeah... come to think of it, people from Class C are more suspicious, aren't they?" Kushida added a comment.
"How... how can you slander me like that?" Manabe stammered.
"See?" Hasabe threw Manabe's words back at Shinohara. "How can you slander him like that! You suspect our own classmate but not an outsider? What kind of logic is that?"
Just then, the victim, Karuizawa Kei, walked out of the tent. Her eyes were red from crying. She had lost her usual high-and-mighty aura and looked very weak.
"Karuizawa-san, are you okay?" Shinohara offered fake concern. "Your underwear has been found. It was in Hikigaya's bag."
"Eh...?" Karuizawa looked up, stunned. She seemingly couldn't believe that answer.
"Is... is there a mistake?" Matsushita Chiaki, who had been with Karuizawa, asked. She hadn't heard the previous argument.
"Hey! Matsushita, whose side are you on?" Shinohara snapped.
"No one's. I just don't think Hikigaya-kun is the type to do that." Matsushita stood her ground. From her observations, she was 100% sure he wasn't the guy.
"Um, sorry... I might have remembered wrong." Karuizawa took a deep breath. Hearing that her underwear was with Hikigaya actually calmed her panicked heart a little. Truly, what had broken her wasn't the theft itself, but the act reminding her of the trauma of being bullied.
Wait, sister? Hikigaya thought. I just started the counter-attack and you say this?
Shinohara's face turned livid. "Remembered wrong? Then how did it get in his bag?"
"..." Karuizawa was at a loss for words. She glanced at Hikigaya and, seeing no anger or resentment on his face, she sighed in relief.
'What should I do? I can't let my past affect his reputation!'
"Speak up!" Shinohara pressed. She was going to look like a total clown if this wasn't settled.
"..." Karuizawa felt a surge of irritation and just blurted it out: "I gave it to him myself! Is that a problem?"
Another shocker. The entire clearing went silent.
"???" Hikigaya himself was full of question marks.
'What is this girl saying?'
"Kei, you...?" Matsushita looked at her friend strangely.
"Aha—surprised? Unexpected?" Karuizawa's brain CPU was overclocked. "I'm a Gyaru... yeah! I'm a real Gyaru! If I see an interesting guy and take the initiative to hook up with him, isn't that normal? What's the big deal?"
Everyone listened.
'Wait, that logic actually makes sense?'
"So that's how it is... As expected of Kei! So bold!"
Sato Maya's eyes sparkled, looking like she had learned a new lesson. She had joined the group out of curiosity about "Gyaru culture" and finally felt she "got it" today.
Manabe, the only real Gyaru there, was stunned! If she hadn't stolen it herself last night, she might have believed Karuizawa's lie.
At this moment, she finally confirmed: Karuizawa Kei was a fake Gyaru.
Her strong exterior was a facade; she was actually a super-easy-to-bully coward!
"Ahem—" Hirata saw the tension break and immediately stepped in to end it. "Since everything is clear, let's act like nothing happened."
"What a mess... waking everyone up early for this."
"And you tell me it was just a misunderstanding?"
The boys weren't happy. The way they looked at Hikigaya now wasn't just envy—it was murderous intent! Having two girls defend him was one thing, but now a third was "gifting" him things?
'Why don't you just ascend to heaven already?'
"Aha~ in that case, I'll return it to its owner?" Kushida said with a fake smile, stuffing the pink underwear into Hikigaya's hand.
At the same time, two extremely sharp glares locked onto Hikigaya. What kind of expression was he supposed to make right now?
"Oh? What's with that face?" Karuizawa teased in a flirtatious tone. "Don't tell me you're shy? It's just a pair of underwear. What a pure guy~ Kawaii-ne~~~"
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