Why are you popular?
You don't really know how to handle this bodiless, intangible crap — 'cause it's just a word with no monetization behind it.
So what if you've got "influence"? You don't make a dime from it. You're just hoping for a pity donation from some kid who borrowed his mom's credit card for a sec.
So here's a tip:
Design yourself an imaginary suit called "The Buzz."
Then wear it.
Loudly. Shamelessly.
Create those headlines non-stop — white PR, black PR, doesn't matter.
As long as people talk.
And don't forget to attach an invisible hand to that suit — one that's constantly reaching out to the world for money.
Because, hey, you're active in the media space, which means you can beg for ad deals, merch sales, and podcast invites.
Once Fame trickles in, your attic will be blessed with a fresh Bugatti — bought on discount from some shady app store.
If even more Fame arrives, you might get invited to a secret "Club 28," full of washed-up celebs playing badminton before realizing none of you can afford the drugs or champagne.
But when you reach True Popularity —
that's when you'll finally get to screenshot your Reels analytics...
showing that the actual owner of Temu watched your post.
The gnomes ran out of booze, and they had to call the real Santa — because he's the only grandpa who gets a solid pension and full state benefits as a veteran, the first man in history to watch all seasons of Berserk.