"The mammoth?" I asked.
"Yes."
"You said it wasn't."
"The funding stops if the project is complete, and we have so much more to do here. So many answer-less questions, so much research pushed aside that we can now dive into. There is so much creation yet to be done!"
Creation? Yeah, hardcore mad-scientist vibes now. But mad-scientists do tend to get the job done, I suppose. Having a crazy on your side can be great, as long as he doesn't go and get everyone here killed thanks to his meddling in science.
"When can you have one walking around?" I said and pulled out my awesome high-tech phone.
"We have a machine that can produce a full-size, adult mammoth. It will have a short lifespan, and we don't know if it will even eat or how it will act. It was made as nothing more than a publicity stunt. Something to simply create excitement for those who are signing our checks, as well as show the scientific world that we have the capability to create real life from DNA that is thousands of years old. To bring the woolly mammoth species back to the point where they can sustain life and reproduce like normal, requires a different approach," Dr. Kale said.
"What kind of different approach? We want these guys roaming our planet for as long as the planet can support their life. Not for a few months at a time," I said.
"What we'll need to do to get as close to a normal lifecycle for the mammoth is to impregnate a modern-day elephant with the mammoth embryo, more than likely the African elephant, and allow that elephant to give live birth to a newborn baby mammoth. Then it can grow and develop as normal as possible in today's world. If we can do this enough times until we reach the point that we can breed the mammoths on their own, then we can witness the species walking around on this earth once again, fully alive and functional in the ecosystem."
I said nothing as I scrolled through my phone contacts to a name that said 'boss.' I was never informed of the names of anyone I worked for, extra security in case I was ever compromised or some crap like that. Because I was going to be kidnapped and interrogated for the information that my mind contained. Right. I bet they just tried to make this job seem as sketchy as possible for fun.
"If you can demonstrate that full-grown mammoth and start the process leading to live birth of their young, then we may be able to increase your funding a bit. Probably not what you're requesting, but an increase nonetheless," I said as I clicked call.
"You won't regret it!" Dr. Kale said in a hiss as I held the phone against my ear. He was rocking back-and-forth from the balls of his feet to the back of his heels, rubbing his hands together.
"This better be good, or I swear to God-" an angry voice started.
"Better than good. How would you like your very own woolly mammoth?" I said into the receiver.
"Sounds terrible. I would, however, like one in our future extinct animal zoo," the voice said with the anger fading.
"They can make one. A fully grown mammoth. It's short-lived, but it can satisfy the people it needs to. Plus, create a good buzz while they get ready to give live birth to one," I said to him as Dr. Kale nodded with every word I said.
"Live birth? Really?" said his now thrilled voice. At least as thrilled as this man got. The voice was not furious, and that seemed to be the best we could get.
The woolly mammoth was a great attraction, but the birth of a woolly mammoth? That would sell more seats than a…some famous old school rock band or pop star thing. I'm not good with keeping up with what's "in" or whatever. Popularity was something I learned to hate in high school, big surprise there.
"Yes, sir. Through an elephant, these creatures could return and sustain life. Imagine the coverage we could get with the first birth of the woolly mammoth. The return of a species. Every media outlet in the WORLD would show up for the birth. People would be spending tens of thousands of dollars to attend; the birth alone would gather more attention than any other tourist attraction in the world!" I said, scooting away from Dr. Kale because he was emitting an excited whine that was similar to a dog whistle and was almost in tears.
"Do they absolutely need the ridiculous amount they requested for this?"
"Well, probably not that amount...but I will suggest an increase in their funding if you want a saber-toothed cat running around."
"A saber-tooth?" He said before continuing in the most monotone voice I had ever heard. "Alright, Dr. Gale, I am very excited to read your report on this. Get it to me by tomorrow."
"Yes, sir. I'll get it sent over tonight," I said.
"Words cannot express my excitement for this. I can hardly keep it contained," he said in the same monotone voice.
The phone clicked off. Under the assumption he wasn't being sarcastic, I closed my phone with a confident smile.
"Things are looking good," I said to Dr. Kale.
"Thank you!" he said, brimming with excitement.
"It took some smooth wording on my part, and he wasn't happy, but I refused to give in to get you the funding you need. It was a battle, but it seems I will prevail," I announced to him.
"I was literally standing right here," Dr. Kale said, each word slow and cautious. "None of that happened. I could hear every word both of you spoke."
"Oh, right. Well," I said. I may have gotten a bit carried away. I didn't tend to have that conversation in front of other people. That's why I should never have tried to show off; I came across a tad bit stupid.
"Can I show you where we'll be creating the mammoth?" Dr. Kale said, shaking off our previous interaction.
"In a bit. I would like a few hours to shake off jet lag and wash up. Could you have someone show me to my room?" I said.
There was a quiet electrical pop, and a blue, feminine figure materialized out of nowhere by the door to the room. She, or whatever it was, turned her head to Dr. Kale and spoke in a deadpan, robotic voice.
"Good afternoon, Dr. Kale. I see you are making your eighteenth visit to the spider egg room today."
"Ah, haha. Becca! Excellent timing!" Dr. Kale rushed over to the blue holographic woman.
"Eighteen?" I asked her.
"Per his request, I only count the visits for today once Dr. Kale wakes from a prolonged slumber in excess of three hours. If I started the daily count at midnight, then technically the visits for today would be th-"
"ALLOW ME TO MAKE INTRODUCTIONS!" Dr. Kale shouted over her. He cleared his throat and took a hard breath to calm himself. "Dr. Gale, this is Becca, our…virtual…assistant. Created by this lab for totally legit and logical reasons."
"I've never been more suspicious of anything," I said to him and looked her up and down.
"I have been specifically instructed by Dr. Kale to not mention being a fully sentient AI-"
"We can talk more about her later! Becca, command: leave this room alone and go assist others," Dr. Kale spoke to Becca in what I assumed was his most authoritative tone. Like when you let a toddler make a decision for the first time.
"Right away, Dr. Kale," Becca said, and with another electronic pop, she was gone.
"So she's a virtual assistant. Like Alexa or Siri or whatever?" I was still staring at where Becca had been moments before. I felt like this was something I should investigate if I was dedicated to this job, and something I should ignore if I wanted to go home on time.
"Yes, but not even on their level. Becca is nothing more than a computer program that assists us in research. She can monitor the rooms while I'm busy doing something else. We don't want to walk into a surprise experiment gone bad. But really she's not all that powerful. She can't even hear you right now," Dr. Kale explained and went back to hugging his container of eggs.
Gollum would say this guy has a possessive issue.
"Alright, why did you give your computer program such a weirdly sexy body?"
The electronic pop sounded, and Becca was now standing just outside the room. Or hovering. Projecting? Whatever. Blue girl was here.
"I see, much like Dr. Kale, you also enjoy making inappropriate comments regarding the bodies of women."
I didn't know if computer programs could judge me, but the frown on her face and anger etched in her electric blue features sure made me feel like they could.
"Oh, damn. I'm so sorry! I thought you couldn't hear me!" I tried to explain. Poorly.
"And that makes your comment better?" Becca disappeared following one last pop.
"Ah…shit," I said and scratched the back of my head.
Well that was awkward. Not every day you get shamed by a computer.
"Maybe now would be a good time to show me to my room?"
"I would love to! This will give us time to get everything prepped for you. I get the feeling you are going to love what you will experience while you're here. Nothing but excitement," Dr. Kale said and clapped off the lights to the room and led me out.
Excitement was not a good thing in this line of work. Boring and easy was what I preferred. No surprises.
I gave the spider eggs a wary glance as I followed Dr. Kale out of the room. For some reason, I had my doubts about his last statement.
My phone chirped in my hand.
"Text from my wife," I muttered to myself and flipped the phone open. Once I saw what she had sent, I snapped the phone shut.
Dr. Kale whistled from over my shoulder, he had watched me check that message from my wife. "That's your wife? No wonder you want to get to your room," he winked and jabbed me with his elbow. "I'll send down some extra sheets. Maybe a sock."
"Just forget you saw that," I said. I felt heat rising through my body. I hated his voice. Every word he spoke was a word closer to a mind-crushing migraine. I envisioned those oversized spiders coming to life and devouring Dr. Kale as he shrieked and cried out for help. It was a beautiful moment.
"I'll try," he groaned, and I knew he wouldn't make much of an effort to push it from his mind. He led me away from the room and down a few confusing twists and turns through these glass hallways that led us to the glass elevators. There were two elevator doors that currently showed the cables the elevator cars would come up on. Dr. Kale hit a button with a satisfied sigh, and we waited for one of the doors to open.
"I love pushing the buttons," Dr. Kale said with a wide smile.
I gave him a polite smile and head nod and tried not to give him a crazy stare. Dr. Kale started humming and doing a little dance as I pleaded with the elevator door to open.
We were far enough away from the conference room that we couldn't see that the medical monitor attached to the eggs back in the conference room had registered a heartbeat.